Chapter 196 - 0196: I Can’t Trust Him

Chapter 196: Chapter 0196: I Can’t Trust Him

Elena’s Point Of View

Lexy leaned back in her chair, her dark eyes studying me with that mix of concern and mischief that only she could pull off. The office was bathed in the soft glow of the late afternoon sun, the city outside buzzing with life, but in here, it was just us... two friends, a lifetime of history, and a conversation that felt like it could stretch on forever.

There was something comforting about the way she occupied space, legs crossed, posture relaxed, as though she had nowhere else in the world she’d rather be. I’d always envied that about her, the way she could make any room feel like hers, like the walls themselves had agreed to accommodate her presence.

"I hope you finally find the answers to all the questions swirling in that beautiful, chaotic brain of yours," she said, her voice warm but edged with that sharpness I loved. She paused, letting the words settle, then her grin turned wicked as she leaned forward. "And if Jaxx ever hurts you again? I’ll be here to crush his balls. Literally."

I burst out laughing, shaking my head. The sound surprised even me, a release of tension I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in my chest, as though her words had loosened something that had been coiled tight for weeks. "Oh my God, Lex! You’ll never change."

"Damn right, I won’t," she shot back, her smirk unrepentant. "Someone’s gotta be the ruthless one in this friendship. And let’s be real, babe, it sure as hell isn’t you."

I rolled my eyes, but I was still grinning, the warmth of her loyalty settling over me like a familiar blanket, the kind you never outgrow no matter how old it gets. "You’re insufferable."

"And you love me," she countered, stretching her arms above her head like a cat basking in the sun, utterly unbothered by her own audacity. "Now, spill. What’s really going on in that head of yours? Because I know you, Elena. And you’re overthinking this to death. I can practically hear the rusty gears grinding from over here."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair, my fingers drumming against the sleek mahogany armrest. The familiar weight of exhaustion pressed down on my shoulders, not the kind sleep could fix, but something deeper, something that had been building for longer than I wanted to admit. "I don’t even know where to start, Lex. It’s like... every time I think I’ve got it all figured out, something happens and I’m right back at square one."

"Like what?" she pressed, her voice dropping to that conspiratorial tone that always made me spill my guts, the one she’d perfected over years of coaxing secrets out of me at two in the morning. She reached for the small glass of iced coffee on my desk, taking a slow sip without breaking eye contact, patient in the way only someone who already knew the answer could be. "Give me the unfiltered version, El. Don’t sanitize it for my delicate ears."

"Like the way he looks at me," I admitted, my cheeks warming despite my best efforts to play it cool. "Like I’m the only person in the room. In the world, even. Like he sees past the armor, the title, all of it. And then there’s the way he touches me..." I cut myself off, shaking my head, heat spilling down my neck.

The memory alone was enough to scramble my thoughts, to send my pulse stumbling over itself. "God, Lex, it’s like my body betrays me every time he’s near. I hate him. I really do. But then he’s right there, standing in my space, and I..."

"You melt," Lexy finished for me, her grin knowing and entirely merciless. "El, you’ve got it bad. You’re practically a puddle on my shoes."

I groaned, covering my face with my hands, equal parts amused and humiliated by how transparent I apparently was, as though she’d peeled back my ribs and read the truth written on my heart. "I know. And that’s the problem! I can’t trust it. I can’t trust him."

Lexy’s expression softened, her voice losing its playful edge as she set the glass back down with a quiet clink. The shift was subtle but unmistakable, the way she could pivot from teasing to tender in the space of a breath, a skill I’d always admired and never quite mastered myself. "I get it. After everything with Graham, it makes sense that you’d be scared. That bastard left scars deep enough to make anyone paranoid." She hesitated, her manicured fingers tapping rhythmically against the arm of the chair, choosing her next words with visible care. "But, El... what if Jaxx isn’t Graham? What if he’s actually different?"

I pulled my hands down, looking at her, my heart pounding against my ribs. The question lodged itself somewhere beneath my sternum, refusing to be ignored, refusing to let me retreat into easy cynicism. "What if he’s not? What if it’s just another game? I barely put myself back together after the last time."

She held my gaze, unflinching, the kind of steady presence only years of friendship could build. "Then you walk away. No questions asked. You tear him down brick by brick. But you owe it to yourself to find out. Because if you don’t, you’ll always wonder what was waiting on the other side of that door."

I exhaled, my mind racing through a million catastrophic scenarios, each one worse than the last, each one ending with my heart in pieces on some cold marble floor. "I don’t know if I can handle that, Lex. I don’t know if I can handle another heartbreak."

"Then don’t let it happen," she said simply, leaning forward until her forearms rested on the desk. "You’re the strongest person I know, Elena. Look around this room. You built this empire. You survived Graham’s toxic trash. You can handle anything a man throws at you."

I smiled, my chest tight with gratitude, grateful in a way words could hardly capture, the kind of gratitude that made my eyes sting if I lingered on it too long. "You always know how to make me feel like I can take on the world."

"Because you can," she said, her voice fierce, leaving no room for argument. "Now, tell me... what’s the real reason you’re avoiding Jaxx? Is it because you’re scared of getting hurt, or because you’re scared of not getting hurt?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but the words stuck in my throat. The silent air hung heavy between us, punctuated only by the distant hum of traffic below. Because the truth was, I didn’t know. I didn’t know if I was protecting my heart or just hiding behind my pride. The uncertainty sat like a stone in my stomach, immovable and cold, and no amount of wishing could dissolve it.

Lexy must have seen the conflict burning in my eyes because she reached across the desk, her hand covering mine, grounding me, anchoring me to the present moment instead of the storm inside my head. "It’s okay not to have all the answers right now. But promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"Promise me you won’t let fear make your decisions for you." Her voice was soft but firm, her dark eyes locked onto mine with absolute intensity. "You deserve happiness, El. Real, messy, all-consuming happiness. And if Jaxx is part of that? Then don’t run from it. But if he’s not?" She squeezed my hand, hard. "Then don’t let him near you again."

I nodded, my throat tight, the promise settling somewhere deep and unshakable, a vow I intended to keep even if it cost me. "I promise."

We fell into an easy rhythm after that... talking, laughing, dissecting every moment of my life like it was the most fascinating story she’d ever heard. We replayed the elevator encounter from Tuesday, analyzed every cryptic sentence Jaxx had muttered during the board meeting, and argued over whether his lingering stares were deliberate torture or genuine desperation.

Lexy had a way of making even the most mundane details feel epic, her reactions dramatic, her advice brutal, and somehow, in her hands, my chaos felt almost manageable, like a puzzle with a solution instead of an endless, tangled mess.

"Wait, back up," Lexy interrupted, pointing an accusing finger at me. "He said what when he picked up your dropped pen?"

"He said he liked watching me bend over to pick it up, but he preferred doing the heavy lifting for me," I muttered, burying my face in a throw pillow from the office couch, mortification creeping up my neck all over again as though the memory itself had teeth.

Lexy threw her head back and laughed, the loud, infectious sound filling the office, drawing an unwilling smile out of me even from behind my makeshift shield. "Oh my God, you’re so screwed."

"I’m not!" I protested from behind the velvet cushion. "I gave him my cold face! My impenetrable CEO glare!"

"You are," she insisted, grinning. "You have the poker face of a Golden Retriever. But, like, in the best way possible. I live for this drama. The sexual tension in your life is currently paying for my entertainment."

I shook my head, throwing the pillow back at her, but I was smiling, the kind of helpless smile that came from being thoroughly known and thoroughly loved. "You’re impossible."

"And you adore me," she shot back, casually dodging the pillow before checking her phone. She paused, her thumb hovering over the screen as she looked up at me again, her banter settling into something quieter, the playfulness in her eyes giving way to something more searching. "Now, tell me... what’s the real reason you’re still hung up on him? Because, babe, it’s obvious you are. Your eyes light up every single time his name even crosses your lips."

I hesitated, my fingers twisting together in my lap, searching for words honest enough to satisfy her and brave enough to satisfy myself. "It’s not that simple, Lex. It’s like... he sees me. Really sees me. Not the company, not my last name, not the persona I put on for the press. Just Elena. And after everything with Graham... after being used as a trophy for years... that feels... dangerous."

Lexy’s expression softened, the sharp edges of her demeanor melting away into pure empathy, the teasing friend giving way, if only for a moment, to someone who understood exactly how fragile hope could feel. "Or it feels real."

I met her gaze, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs. "What if it’s not?"

"Then you walk away," she said simply, repeating the truth like an anchor. "But you won’t know unless you try."

Lexy suddenly checked the time on her phone again, her eyes widening as she read the numbers. "Goodness, it’s been hours! El, I have to go now. I’ve got a meeting with a new designer in thirty minutes, and if I’m late, she’ll murder me."

I laughed, standing up to walk her to the door, already missing the easy comfort of her company before she’d even left, the way the office seemed to dim slightly at the thought of her absence. "You actually have a meeting? Or is that just an excuse to go flirt with some poor, unsuspecting designer?"

She gasped, pressing a hand to her chest in mock offense. "Elena! I would never mix business with pleasure. Unless he’s drop-dead gorgeous, obviously."

"Sure you wouldn’t," I said, rolling my eyes as we reached the heavy oak door of my office.

She grinned, stepping into my personal space and pulling me into another tight, grounding hug, the kind that smelled faintly of her perfume and felt like home. "Love you, babe. And remember... no matter what you decide, choose the one where you don’t get hurt. Please."

I hugged her back, my chest tight with a mix of affection and lingering apprehension, wishing I could bottle this certainty she had in me and carry it with me after she left. "I will."

She pulled away, her expression turning deadly serious for a brief second, all traces of mischief gone from her face, replaced by something raw and sincere. "I mean it, El. You deserve everything. Don’t settle for less."

I nodded, my throat tight. "I won’t."

She winked, her trademark smirk returning in a flash, mischief reclaiming its throne as quickly as it had abdicated. "Good. Now go conquer your empire. And if Jaxx shows up?" She raised an eyebrow. "Call me. I want details."

I laughed, shaking my head as I watched her saunter out of the office, her heels clicking against the floor like a promise, and the quiet she left behind felt heavier than before, full of questions I still couldn’t answer, questions that would follow me long after the sound of her footsteps had faded down the hall.