Chapter 317: I Need To Talk To You

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian stood outside Lilith’s bedroom door and tried to make himself knock.

His hand was raised. His knuckles were inches from the wood. But he could not make himself complete the motion because the moment he knocked, the moment she opened that door, he would have to look at her face and see the anger and hurt still written there.

And then he would have to leave.

Six hours to Ravenspire. However long it took to find the witch. Six hours back. He would be gone for at least a full day, maybe longer, and the thought of leaving her here....angry, scared, carrying a death curse inside her, made Rhen claw at him from the inside.

"Just knock," Rhen growled. "We need to see her before we go."

Sebastian raised his hand and knocked.

There was silence from the other side of the door.

He knocked again. "Lilith. It’s me."

More silence. Then her voice, muffled and cold: "Go away."

"I need to talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Five minutes," Sebastian said. "That’s all I’m asking for. Five minutes and then I’ll leave you alone."

He heard movement on the other side of the door. Footsteps. A pause. Then the lock clicked and the door opened just enough for Lilith to look out at him with red-rimmed eyes and an expression that made his chest ache.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Sebastian did not answer with words. He just pushed the door open wider and stepped inside before she could stop him, and the moment he was close enough he pulled her into his arms.

Lilith went rigid immediately. "Let me go."

"No."

"Sebastian, I said let me go...."

"I heard you." He pulled her closer, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hand sliding into her hair, holding her against his chest. His face buried in her hair and he breathed in her scent.....lilacs and something sweeter underneath, and felt Rhen settle for the first time in hours. "Stay still, Lilith. Let me hold you for a while. Just give me five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for."

Lilith was still tense in his arms but she had stopped trying to pull away. "You can’t just..."

"Five minutes," Sebastian repeated against her hair. "Please."

She went quiet. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest, could feel the three bonds humming between them.....his complete, Nicholas’s complete, Lucian’s new and still settling. Could feel her confusion and anger and underneath all of that, buried so deep she probably did not even recognize it, a small ember of relief that he was here.

They stood like that in silence. Sebastian counted his heartbeats and tried to memorize this, the weight of her in his arms, the warmth of her body against his, the way she fit perfectly against him like she was made for this.

When he reached three hundred heartbeats, Lilith shifted slightly in his arms.

"Are you okay now?" she asked, and her voice was reluctant, like she did not want to care but could not help herself.

Sebastian pulled back just enough to look down at her face and felt something twist in his chest at the expression he found there. She was still angry. Still hurt. But she was also concerned, and that small crack in her armor made him want to fall to his knees and beg her forgiveness all over again.

He smiled, bitter and broken. "You couldn’t wait to push me away."

Lilith’s jaw tightened. "Should I be blamed for that?"

"No," Sebastian admitted. "No, you shouldn’t."

She looked at him for a long moment and then her gaze dropped to his clothes....dark jeans, a jacket, boots built for travel rather than the casual clothes he usually wore around the estate.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked.

Sebastian hesitated. Nicholas had told him not to tell Lilith where they were going. Had said it would only worry her more, would make her feel responsible for them risking everything to find answers she might not even want them to find.

But standing here looking down at her face, feeling her concern through the bond, Sebastian could not bring himself to lie.

"Yes," he said. "But it’s nothing important. Just pack business."

It was not technically a lie. Finding the witch was pack business. It was just also life-or-death business that could determine whether Lilith lived or died.

Lilith’s eyes narrowed slightly like she knew he was not telling her the whole truth.

"Pack business?" She asked.

"Yes." Sebastian replied.

"In the middle of Aunt Victoria’s deadline? When we have less than thirty-six hours to figure out how to break a curse that wants me dead?"

Sebastian’s jaw tightened. She was too smart. Too perceptive. And the bonds made it impossible to hide his emotions from her completely.

"It’s related," he admitted finally. "Nicholas and I are following a lead. Something that might help. But I can’t tell you more than that right now."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because if it doesn’t work out, I don’t want you to have hope just to have it crushed." He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. "Let us handle this. Let us try to fix what we broke. And when we come back, we’ll tell you everything."

Lilith stared up at him and he saw a hundred emotions flicker across her face, anger that he was keeping things from her again, fear that whatever he was doing would fail, reluctant hope that maybe they would find a way.

"How long will you be gone?" she asked finally.

"A day. Maybe less if we’re lucky."

"And you’re leaving me here with Lucian."

"He’ll keep you safe," Sebastian promised. "Callum, Finn, and Eli will be here too. And if Victoria shows up early..."

"I know," Lilith interrupted. "Lucian will stop her. Or try to anyway."

Sebastian nodded. Then, because he might not get another chance, because he was leaving in five minutes and might not see her again if everything went wrong, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers.

"I’m sorry," he whispered. "For lying about your father. For not telling you the truth from the beginning. For all of it. And I know you’re not ready to forgive me yet. But I need you to know.....I love you. I have loved you since the moment Rhen recognized you in those woods. And I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you if you’ll let me."