Chapter 231: Why?

Honestly, Silas didn’t know why he was doing that to those prisoners. He loved Anna. Yes. Very much. Was he obsessed with her? This wasn’t even a question. He was, and very much. In fact, among all his women, Anna could be said to be the one he was obsessed with very, very much.

But was what the prisoners were going through a justified action?

The answer could be yes. They tried to kidnap his lover. They endangered her, and so he was paying them back. That was justified.

The answer could be no. They tried to kidnap his lover, but that didn’t mean they had to be tortured until they begged for death- something they would never have an interest in on a normal day.

The question he was asking himself as he sat on the topmost roof of his mansion, overlooking the sprawling estate and its surroundings, was: Why?

The question stayed with him long after he had returned to Earth.

Gorgath had been left behind for the night. The crimson sky, the enormous mountains, the countless orcs and goblins, Gorda’s reports, Gromda’s laughter- all of it had disappeared behind the portal.

Now there was only Earth.

Silas sat alone on the highest roof of the mansion.

His legs hung over the edge, his slippers resting against the stone ledge. His tank top had been replaced by a loose shirt, though the night breeze occasionally pushed it against his body.

Below him, the Ashard Estate stretched across the darkness. Lights illuminated the gardens, while security barriers hummed quietly. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the faint sounds of people moving around.

Normal, comforting sounds, yet Silas couldn’t enjoy them.

His elbows rested against his knees, his chin sitting upon his folded hands.

Why?

He had been asking himself that question for nearly an hour. Why had he enjoyed watching those men break? Why had their fear felt satisfying? Why had their begging for death made him smile?

He understood anger. He understood revenge. He understood protecting someone. Those things were easy.

But this?

This had felt different. Silas closed his eyes.

’I love Anna.’

There was no doubt about that. He loved the others. But Anna... Anna was different. Perhaps because she had been there before he had anything.

Anna had looked at him and only seen Silas- not a monster, or a freak, or a weapon- and not some alien creature with strange powers. Just him.

And maybe that was why his attachment to her had grown into something far more intense-possessive, protective, and obsessive. He knew it.

He wasn’t stupid. He could feel it every time she walked out of his sight. Every time she came home exhausted, every time someone threatened her, and every time the thought of losing her entered his mind.

His stomach twisted, while his heart tightened, and his thoughts became darker.

Silas slowly opened his eyes.

’But is that an excuse?’

The prisoners had tried to kidnap her. They had endangered her. They deserved punishment.

At least, that was what he told himself, but did they deserve that? Did they deserve to be pushed so far that death became preferable?

He was thinking in circles, repeating and repeating with no single conclusion.

"I don’t know." Silas stared at his hands. The words were barely audible. For once, there was no system notification, and no convenient answer. It was just him- Silas, a boy who had spent years being hurt- a boy who had never promised himself he would never become like the people who had hurt him, but couldn’t help but feel like what he was doing was too much.

His fingers slowly curled into fists.

"Did I become one of them?"

The question disappeared into the night. No answer came- and somehow, that hurt more than anything.

The sound of footsteps eventually reached him, but Silas didn’t turn. He already knew who it was. The footsteps were too familiar- light, measured, and almost silent.

It was Chloe.

She climbed onto the roof and walked toward him. She didn’t ask permission. She just sat beside him, their shoulders almost touching.

Neither spoke.

For a while, they just watched the estate, and the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was simply there, as it had always been.

Five minutes passed. Then ten.

Silas eventually glanced sideways, only to see that Chloe was staring into the distance. Her expression was as calm as ever. For a moment, he saw the woman who had once been feared as an empress by the gods- cold, calculating, and unforgiving- overlapping with his sweet Chloe.

She was the kind of woman who could command armies without blinking. Yet right now, she sat beside him, or rather, her heir.

Silas looked forward again.

"Did Anna send you?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

Chloe shrugged. "I wanted to be."

"That’s not much of an answer." Silas gave a faint smile.

"It’s enough."

Silence returned, and another few minutes passed.

Chloe spoke. "You’ve been quiet."

Silas laughed weakly.

"Have I?"

"Yes."

"I thought I was always quiet."

"Are you trying to play innocent or mess with me?"

Silas looked at her, his eye twitching. He was definitely not quiet, and he knew. Chloe finally turned toward him; her blue eyes were softer than usual.

"You are thinking about the prisoners."

Silas didn’t answer. That was answer enough. Chloe looked back toward the gardens.

"You feel guilty."

"A little."

"Because you hurt them?"

Silas nodded. Chloe was quiet. Then she said something he didn’t expect.

"I don’t know if what you did was right."

Silas looked at her. She continued before he could speak.

"And I’m not going to tell you that it was."

Her voice was calm.

"Nor am I going to tell you that it was wrong."

Silas stared at her.

"Why?"

"Because I wasn’t inside your head."

She folded her hands in her lap.

"I don’t know what you felt when you saw them."

Silas lowered his eyes.

"I didn’t know either."

"I know."

He looked at her again, and Chloe smiled faintly.

"But I know what it’s like to want something so badly that everything else becomes irrelevant."

Silas remained silent.

"I know what it’s like to be afraid of losing something."

Her voice became quieter.

"And I know what it’s like to let anger make decisions for you."

Silas looked at her and instantly realized that she understood- at least the other part of her that she’d inherited from her predecessor, Skadi.

She understood not because she was kinder than him, but because she wasn’t. That was what made her words matter.

"You don’t have to justify yourself to me," Chloe said.

Silas’s lips parted.

"But..." She placed her hand over his. "...you don’t have to condemn yourself either."

Silas stared at their hands. Chloe’s fingers were surprisingly warm.

"You did something." She squeezed his hand. "Now you decide what that means."

Silas remained silent, while Chloe continued.

"If you think you went too far, then learn from it."

She looked at him.

"If you think you protected Anna, then protect her better next time."

A small smile appeared.

"And if you’re afraid that loving someone so much makes you dangerous..." Silas looked into her eyes. Chloe leaned her head against his shoulder. "...then remember that you’re not alone."

Silas froze.

Chloe rarely initiated affection, especially not like this.

She closed her eyes. "You have us."

The words were simple, but they struck him harder than anything else that night, causing him to slowly relax. His shoulders dropped, and the tension he had been carrying for hours finally loosened.

He leaned his head gently against hers. For several minutes, neither said anything.

Then Silas whispered, "I’m scared."

Chloe didn’t move.

"Of what?"

"Of myself."

Her answer came immediately.

"Good."

Silas blinked.

"Good?"

"Yes." She lifted her head. "If you’re afraid of becoming something you don’t want to be, then you’re still aware of what you want to remain."

Silas stared at her in surprise, but Chloe only smiled- a genuine smile- small, warm, and almost impossible to imagine coming from someone like the new her.

"You’re still Silas."

He looked away.

"Thanks."

"You’re welcome."

A few seconds passed. Then Chloe added casually,

"However..." Silas looked at her. "If you ever become genuinely evil, I’ll beat you."

Silas stared.

"That’s your comfort?"

"Yes."

"You’re terrible at comforting people."

"I know."

Silas laughed, and Chloe smiled again.

Beneath the night sky, the two remained seated on the roof, and for the first time that evening, Silas stopped asking himself ’why’.

He still didn’t have the answer.

Perhaps he wouldn’t for a long time, but maybe he didn’t need one tonight, because sometimes... You didn’t need someone to tell you that you were right, and you didn’t need someone to tell you that you were wrong.

Sometimes, you just needed someone willing to sit beside you while you figured it out yourself, and Chloe, the cold-hearted beauty, had quietly chosen to be that person.

***

Quick One!

I’m out of town currently, and today is the day I complete University. Anyway, updates will be one long Chapter a day until I’m back on Monday. I already pushed my limits to draft Chapters ahead and put them on automatic publish.

I will return to my usual schedule on Tuesday or possibly Wednesday when I’ve rested well enough.

Until then... Enjoy the current Chapters, and see you later!