Chapter 485: The Choice to Return

The following morning, Neria was ready before everyone else.

Damon discovered this when he arrived at the Transfer room expecting to find her finishing some last-minute preparations. Instead, he found Neria sitting on one of the crates near the wall, her bag at her feet and her tablet resting on her knee. Ester was checking the small medicine kit for the third time, while Aria prepared the safe arrival point on the other side. Jian Yue leaned against the wall, apparently calm. Xue Mei was nowhere to be seen, which Damon considered suspicious until he remembered that she had been explicitly forbidden from following Neria.

"Did you sleep?" Damon asked.

Neria looked at him.

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Enough."

Ester raised her head.

"Seven hours."

Damon nodded.

"Good answer."

"I knew you'd ask."

Neria was nervous.

Not in a way that compromised her decision. Damon could tell by the way she ran her thumb along the side of the tablet, repeating the same movement without realizing it. She had also checked her bag at least twice since he'd arrived, although she clearly already knew everything was there.

He didn't comment.

Aria finished stabilizing the passage, and its outline began to form.

On the other side, the morning looked similar to the one in Mirath. A narrow road passed between widely spaced trees, and farther ahead stood a small wooden sign pointing toward Talven.

Neria stood.

Ester handed her the medicine kit.

"You know the conditions."

"If I feel dizzy, unusually weak, experience a change in temperature, persistent pain, or any change in the regulator, I stop."

"Contact?"

"Tablet."

"If you can't return by the normal route?"

"I signal an emergency and wait for Transfer."

Ester nodded.

Nothing more.

Neria placed the kit in her bag and looked at Jian Yue.

"Any advice?"

"Don't start a fight."

"I wasn't planning to."

"Then you're already ahead of Damon."

Damon looked at her.

"That was uncalled for."

"It was accurate."

Neria smiled.

Then looked at him.

Damon said nothing.

She waited a few seconds.

"You don't have any advice?"

"I do."

"What is it?"

"Go."

Neria froze for a moment.

Then nodded.

She stepped through.

Without looking back.

Not because she didn't want to.

Because she didn't need to.

The passage remained open for several seconds after she reached the other side. Neria stopped on the road, checked her tablet, adjusted her bag, and then began walking toward the sign.

Aria closed the Transfer.

Damon continued staring at the empty space.

Jian Yue noticed.

"You want to follow."

"A little."

"You won't."

"No."

"Good."

Damon looked at her.

"This is getting irritating."

"Which part?"

"Everyone trusting me to do the right thing."

Jian Yue smiled.

"Terrible."

Neria took forty-seven minutes to send her first message.

Damon knew because he wasn't counting.

The message arrived in the group Ester had created specifically for the trip.

I'M FINE.

Damon looked at it.

So did Jian Yue, who was beside him in the courtyard.

"Are you going to reply?"

"No."

"Why?"

"She didn't ask anything."

Jian Yue seemed satisfied.

Damon hated that.

The second message arrived almost three hours later.

STOPPED TO EAT. ALMOST AT TALVEN.

Ester simply replied:

OK.

Aria sent:

THE BRIDGE IS NORTH OF THE MARKET.

Damon immediately typed:

SHE DIDN'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.

Aria replied:

IT WAS USEFUL INFORMATION.

Neria appeared in the conversation a few seconds later.

I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE BRIDGE.

Damon smiled.

CONGRATULATIONS, ARIA.

There was no reply.

Neria reached Talven shortly before noon.

Damon knew because he received a picture.

Neria wasn't in it.

Only an old stone bridge crossing a relatively narrow river. Three wide arches supported the structure, and part of its side had been rebuilt using stones of a different shade after one of the floods Aria had mentioned.

The message beneath it read:

IT REALLY IS JUST A BRIDGE.

Damon replied:

DISAPPOINTED?

The answer took a while.

NO.

He believed her.

After that, Neria went four hours without sending anything.

Damon noticed the first hour.

During the second, he checked his tablet twice.

During the third, he went to train.

Jian Yue didn't comment.

By the fourth, he had finished his session, sat on the bench, and noticed there was still no message.

"She said a few hours," Jian Yue reminded him.

"I know."

"Then wait."

"I am waiting."

"You're staring at the tablet."

"That doesn't prevent me from waiting."

Jian Yue sat beside him.

"Want to know what she's doing?"

"Yes."

"Me too."

Damon turned toward her.

"You could show a little less emotional stability."

"Why?"

"Solidarity."

She almost laughed.

The message arrived eleven minutes later.

FOUND AN INN. I'M STAYING HERE.

Damon exhaled without realizing he'd been holding his breath.

Jian Yue noticed.

Naturally.

"Don't say anything."

"I wasn't even thinking of it."

"Liar."

Another message appeared.

THE INNKEEPER MADE ME PAY IN ADVANCE BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I LOOKED TOO YOUNG TO TRAVEL ALONE.

Damon began laughing.

AND WHAT DID YOU DO?

PAID.

WITHOUT ARGUING?

The reply took a while.

A LITTLE.

"She's definitely learning from you," Jian Yue said.

Damon put away his tablet.

"So far, this has been a success."

"She still has to spend the night."

"I know."

"Are you going to keep staring at that?"

"No."

Jian Yue raised an eyebrow.

"I'll try."

"Better."

Neria spent the afternoon wandering around Talven.

Damon only learned the details the following day, but while it was happening, she did exactly what she wanted.

Nothing.

Nothing important.

She visited the market.

Bought a fruit she'd never seen before and discovered, too late, that she didn't like it.

She entered the small temple simply because the door was open. She spent several minutes watching people light small candles before a statue she didn't recognize, then left without asking any questions.

She crossed the bridge three times.

On the third, she sat on the low stone wall and watched the water.

Nobody knew who she was.

Nobody knew about Eir.

Nobody knew about Vermillion.

Nobody knew she'd spent a hundred and seventeen years imprisoned in an Order facility.

To the people of Talven, she was simply a young traveler carrying a bag and a wooden sword that clearly wasn't meant to kill anyone.

An elderly woman asked whether she was waiting for someone.

Neria replied:

"No."

The woman nodded and continued walking.

That stayed in her mind for some time.

She wasn't waiting for anyone.

Later, she bought dinner from a small shop near the inn. She sat alone beside the window and, for the first time since leaving the Valley, clearly noticed the absence of the others.

Not fear.

Longing.

She thought about how Liora was probably trying to steal food from Eir or anyone else available. She thought about Jian Yue correcting her sword stance even when they weren't training. About Ester asking far too many medical questions. About Damon complaining about everything while doing exactly what he'd promised to do.

She thought about Eir.

That hurt a little more.

Neria held her tablet for a few seconds.

She could send a message.

There was no rule against it.

She could also return.

The route was available.

Nobody would be disappointed if she returned that night.

Perhaps that was precisely the difficult part.

There was nobody stopping her.

And nobody forcing her.

The choice was entirely hers.

Neria placed the tablet on the table.

Finished eating.

Then walked back to the inn.

That night, Eir asked about her.

Damon was in the Valley at the time.

Not because of Neria.

At least, that was what he told himself.

Liora was lying near the great trunk, while Damon was talking with Aurelia about something else when Eir interrupted.

"Neria."

"She's in Talven."

"I know."

Damon looked toward the trunk.

"Then?"

"Hasn't spoken."

"She spoke to us a few hours ago."

"Not to me."

That was true.

Neria had sent messages to the group in Mirath.

None directly to Eir.

Damon thought for a moment.

"Maybe she's trying to do exactly what she said."

"Miss us."

"Yes."

The roots moved slowly.

"Don't like it."

"I know."

"Want to ask."

"You can."

Eir fell silent.

Damon waited.

"Won't."

He smiled.

"Why?"

"She knows I want to know."

"Yes."

"Then she can choose to tell."

Damon looked at the great trunk for several seconds.

"You're getting good at this."

"Don't like it."

"That's part of it."

"Don't like that part either."

"Normal."

Liora opened her eyes.

"Will she bring food when she comes back?"

Damon closed his eyes.

Eir replied:

"Probably."

Liora seemed satisfied and went back to sleep.

Neria slept badly.

Not because of danger.

Because the bed was terrible.

She discovered this at two in the morning, after turning over for the fifth time and concluding that the mattress had some kind of personal grudge against her spine.

She sat in the darkness for several minutes.

Then began laughing to herself.

She'd imagined several possible difficulties for her first trip.

Exhaustion.

Fear.

Problems with the regulator.

Perhaps getting lost.

She hadn't considered a horrible bed.

She picked up her tablet.

There was an earlier message from Damon.

NO NEED TO REPLY. JUST GOOD NIGHT.

Neria stared at it.

Smiled.

Didn't reply.

Put the tablet back.

And fell asleep.

The following morning, Damon woke up to a message.

THE BED WAS TERRIBLE.

He began laughing before he even got out of bed.

He replied:

THAT'S THE FIRST REAL EMERGENCY OF THE TRIP.

Neria answered:

I CONSIDERED COMING BACK BECAUSE OF IT.

BUT YOU DIDN'T.

The answer took a while.

NO.

Damon stared at that word.

Not because it was important to the trip.

But because it was.

Neria had missed them.

She'd wanted to return.

She'd had a perfectly acceptable reason to give up.

And she'd stayed because she wanted to.

Two hours later, she left Talven.

The return journey was uneventful.

She stopped twice.

Ate beside the road.

Sent only one message saying she was near the safe Transfer point.

When the Transfer opened, Damon wasn't waiting on the other side.

Neither was Jian Yue.

Nor Ester.

That had been a deliberate decision.

Aria opened the passage and remained only long enough to ensure its stability.

Neria stepped through.

Looked around.

"Where is everyone?"

Aria pretended to be innocent.

"Around."

Neria narrowed her eyes.

"Was this planned?"

"Maybe."

"I hate that word."

Aria smiled.

"Bad influence."

Neria began walking.

She found Ester in the infirmary.

Jian Yue in the courtyard.

Damon sitting in the dining hall.

One at a time.

Just like any normal day.

Damon looked up when she entered.

"Survived the bridge."

"Barely."

"I heard it was dangerous."

"Terrible."

Neria sat across from him.

For several seconds, neither spoke.

Then Damon asked:

"Did you miss us?"

"Yes."

"Did you want to come back?"

"Yes."

"And?"

Neria smiled.

"I stayed."

Damon nodded.

Nothing more needed to be said.

Later, she would return to the Valley.

She would tell Eir everything.

Including the terrible bed.

Perhaps especially the terrible bed.

Because that trip didn't need to be remembered as a great step in the recovery of someone who had lost a hundred and seventeen years.

It could simply be remembered as the first time in a very long while that Neria went somewhere alone, found a useless bridge, ate a horrible fruit, and slept in a terrible bed.

And returned because she decided it was time.

Not because someone called her back.