Chapter 185

I wrote and wrote until sheets of paper were piled high around me.

I turned over the meaning of every character Grandfather had chosen, trying to understand why he had chosen it. I recalled every conversation we had ever shared and thought until my head ached.

“To take in the energy of the entire universe and melt it into your core—is that not profound? There is a little universe inside your body as well.”

Words that had only sounded strange to me at the time now felt like a clue Grandfather had deliberately left behind.

What had he been trying to achieve when he created his inner cultivation method? What had been in his mind when he first began blending the energies of the world into poison?

The Myriad Streams Return to the Origin Divine Art, passed down only through the direct line of the Tang Clan, was also an inner cultivation method that merged many different energies into one. The two methods must share the same underlying essence.

I wanted to know what realm they were both striving toward.

“The forms may differ, but their foundation is the same. They are merely different ways of expressing the principles of Taiji.”

Jinseong’s words—that every form was simply a way of expressing the principles of Taiji—refused to leave my mind.

Then what were the principles behind the Tang Clan’s martial arts?

Until now, I had been too busy imitating Grandfather’s forms to think deeply about them.

But every form I had seen from him was a trace carved into his body over more than a century. His attack patterns. The path he had walked through life. Grandfather himself might not even be conscious of it anymore, but surely even the smallest gesture of his hand contained the fruits of profound thought.

The world did not call him one of the Ten Supremes and revere him for nothing.

It was almost laughable that I had only just realized something so obvious.

I sank deeper into thought.

Grandfather had always said that our ultimate goal was to control every variable discreetly, yet with absolute precision.

But that was a goal, not a principle.

What realm had the Tang Clan’s ancestors sought to attain?

Once the question took root, it refused to leave me until the first pale light of dawn began creeping into the sky.

I became so absorbed in retracing Grandfather’s teachings that I felt neither hunger nor drowsiness.

The chirping of birds announcing morning seemed to drift farther and farther away. Even the sensation of the brush clutched in my hand began to fade.

My senses grew languid, as though my body were floating.

Then all five senses vanished, and everything around me turned pure white.

It should have been unsettling.

Instead, I smiled.

As I slowly blinked, the time I had spent with Grandfather unfolded before my eyes, as though someone had sent me back into the past.

“You brat. Stop dozing off.”

Grandfather flicked my forehead as my head bobbed.

His face was full of laughter.

I smiled along with him and listened carefully as he began explaining things in that measured way of his.

His explanation was still so terse that I could barely understand half of it.

But unlike before, some of his words now made sense.

“What matters is harmony. It is the same for this old man, and the same for those illustrious martial artists of the Nine Great Sects and Five Great Clans. A martial artist can only achieve true greatness by reaching harmony with heaven and earth.”

“Harmony?”

“That’s right. What did I tell you about this old man’s inner cultivation method?”

“You said it takes energies of different natures, melts them into poison, and makes them mine.”

“You remembered properly. There is no need to make it complicated. That is all there is to it, so you only need to do the same, Sohae. We need not strive for the harmony of yin and yang as other martial artists do. For us, taking the world itself into our bodies is harmony.”

“Mm... Taking the world into myself?”

“Hahaha! It is still too difficult for you. I will explain it again when you are old enough to understand.”

Grandfather burst out laughing at my bewildered expression, lightly pinched my nose, then let go.

As I watched his face slowly blur, my eyes widened.

Taking the world into myself was harmony?

And then, without warning, a realization flashed through my mind.

Every time I absorbed another kind of energy, my poisonous energy might become diluted and muddied, but the essence of my inner force remained poison.

No matter what energy I dissolved into it, the poisonous energy never disappeared.

Given time, it would fill back out like a waxing moon and regain its original deep blue-black hue.

The same was true of the world.

A field ravaged by a storm might look like a land of death, only for fresh shoots to rise and restore its green expanse.

A star hidden by dark clouds might lose its light for a time, yet sooner or later it would shine brightly again as though nothing had happened.

Changing without truly changing.

Accepting change without losing one’s essence.

That, too, was harmony.

Even if the currents of the world tangled me up and dragged me through the dirt, even if raging waves battered me until I staggered and swayed, all I had to do was keep the tiny flame inside me from going out.

I only had to endure.

Endure until I recovered my own color.

Then someday, I would be able to sweep away the darkness that had rushed over me and stand again.

Just like the deep blue-black energy flowing through my body.

The moment I understood the harmony Grandfather had pursued, my heart began pounding.

Suppressing the emotion swelling inside me, I slowly recited the mnemonic verses of the inner cultivation method.

Sentences that had always seemed impossibly obscure slipped effortlessly into place in my mind.

The verses contained the profound principles through which Grandfather understood the world. Yet at the same time, they encompassed the foundations common to all inner cultivation methods, allowing their outward form to change according to the method already practiced by the person using them.

Only now did I understand Grandfather’s pride when he had called it a secret art no one could simply imitate.

The inner cultivation method I had learned was a supreme martial art that any martial artist would covet.

Was this what the joy of understanding felt like?

The exhilaration of discovering an entirely new world made it impossible to stop circulating my inner force.

A tingling thrill ran through my head as I felt the minute energy channels throughout my body widening.

The energy drawn from my core surged forward like a wave and completed a circuit through my body.

And in that instant, I saw something.

It seemed like a wall I had to cross.

Or perhaps a principle of martial arts I had to comprehend for myself.

It was some realm that could not be put into words.

What was that?

Startled, I tried to grasp whatever I had just seen.

But the wall had already vanished like a mirage.

I frowned in frustration, wondering how I might see it again, when a hearty laugh reached my ears.

At the sound, my senses—until then as hazy as though I had been wandering through fog—snapped vividly back into place.

My eyes flew open.

I nearly jumped when I found a pair of pale gray eyes staring directly into mine.

“Elder Sword Immortal?”

“Did you see something?”

Interest glimmered in the Taiji Sword Immortal’s eyes as he smiled.

I answered calmly.

“Yes. I did.”

“Do not resent this old Daoist for breaking your flow. This is not a proper cultivation chamber, so continuing would have been dangerous. Besides, it seemed too early for you to go any farther. I had little choice. Another opportunity will come.”

“Ah... Yes. Thank you, Elder.”

I did my best to hide my disappointment as I thanked him.

The Taiji Sword Immortal added mischievously,

“Even so, this old Daoist cleared everyone away and stood guard over your cultivation for two full days.”

“What? Y-you did it yourself? Aah!”

I looked around in alarm and screamed at the sight of the guest quarters.

What happened here?

Why was everything broken?

Did I do this?

“I’m sorry, Elder. I’ll pay for the repairs to the guest quarters—”

“Do not trouble yourself over it. Would you care to take a short walk with this old Daoist?”

“What? Just a moment, Elder. I look...”

I hurriedly tried to cover myself.

The Taiji Sword Immortal grinned, then crooked a finger as though the thought had only just occurred to him.

“Ah, yes. Young ladies are particular about such things. This old Daoist was inconsiderate. Madam Ma said she would prepare bathwater for you, though I wonder whether it has gone cold by now. I shall call her. Stay here. I will wait outside.”

“Yes, Elder. Thank you.”

I bowed toward his retreating back, then glanced awkwardly around.

The Taiji Sword Immortal had told me to stay inside, but with the windows and doors all blown off the guest quarters, there was hardly any distinction between inside and outside anymore.

I cautiously touched one of the few tables still standing.

Crash!

Its broken legs gave way, and the whole table toppled forward.

I hastily hid both hands behind my back.

...This is bad.

The repairs are going to cost a fortune, aren’t they?

I should write Uncle immediately.

*****

By the time I emerged after Madam Ma had scrubbed me raw and shaken every last drop of water from me, the moon hung directly overhead.

The Taiji Sword Immortal gave me a genial smile when he saw that I was presentable again, then led me toward the outer compound.

His footwork was so profound that he left not so much as a footprint behind.

With his hands clasped behind his back, he strolled leisurely along at a pace matched to my shorter stride.

“So, how have you found life at Wudang? Everyone is terribly stuffy, are they not? I hope they have not made you sick of the mountain.”

“Not at all, Elder. Everyone has taken very good care of me. I’ve enjoyed my time here.”

“Surely not. Even this old Daoist gets thoroughly sick of this mountain from time to time. You must have been bored out of your mind, even if you were too polite to say so.”

He clicked his tongue, then spent a good while complaining that living among such dull people was turning even him into a dull old man.

Jinseong’s eyebrow would certainly have twitched if he had heard any of it.

I giggled quietly.

The Taiji Sword Immortal smiled.

“Is it so amusing that this old Daoist is Jinseong’s complete opposite?”

“If I’m being truthful... a little.”

“He is warmhearted. He simply does not show it. He was quite adorable when he was young.”

“He isn’t adorable anymore?”

“He used to be fun to tease. Now I can torment him all I like and he will not so much as change his expression. It is terribly disappointing.”

The Taiji Sword Immortal smacked his lips with a genuinely aggrieved look.

Then his expression changed.

His eyes settled squarely on me.

“This old Daoist has done everything he can.”

I stopped.

He was talking about Yeon Ryang.

Have his energy channels healed completely? Can he control his demonic energy now?

Questions flooded my mind, but this was an open area where anyone might overhear.

I swallowed them and gave him a respectful clasped-hands salute.

“Thank you. Truly, Elder.”

“Which is why it would be best for you to leave now.”

“What?”

“When the Lower Yuan Festival is over, slip out among the pilgrims. If you leave now, you should be able to depart without incident.”