Chapter 119: What Grace Wayne Endures (8)

If he had been a woman there would have been a possibility of resonating with light and becoming a Sacred like Reiko, but as you see he is male, and light is fundamentally an existence that does not take root easily in males.

Birth, sex, stole combat ability from him.

As if the world itself defines that the boy named Niekawa Kazuki cannot win against evil no matter how he struggles.

(If it were me.)

If the girl named Grace Wayne were in a position like Niekawa.

If an enemy that nullifies a different kind of light from until now appeared, and all the techniques she has kept training as a Sacred were judged meaningless. If just from being born a woman in Calmate it was decided she can do nothing no matter how much she tries.

When she imagines there was a fear like her core freezing.

"But even a star I can never reach, even blue-smelling nonsense, as long as I keep walking aiming for it I can grow. I believe that."

And yet the boy who would be exposed to that fear was only directing straight pupils this way.

"I understood my insufficiency. That I cannot fill it no matter how I struggle myself, also. But are disabled people wasted even if they try? Should those who are missing silently wait for salvation given by excellent people? No way. That kind of logic cannot possibly hold."

He knows a hundred times he has a missing part.

But dreams, ideals, are not aimed at because you will necessarily arrive, right?

Because you want to aim, because you want to be that way, because you want to get even a little closer you aim. The logic of whether you can arrive there is trivial.

"But this logic is something that can crush yourself. Aiming for the self you want to be, continuing to train, that itself is radiance that should be honored. But continuing to bind yourself with I must be that way is nothing but poison. Therefore I think it is essential to acknowledge a self that cannot, and rely on someone."

Becoming able to do everything, embodying all ideals with your own hands.

That is the ideal, and I think it would be good if it were so, but in reality those who can do that way are rare.

"Acknowledge a self that cannot... even a self that fails?"

"That is so. Even a shining sun cannot illuminate all of Earth at once. On the other side of Earth right now many lights are erasing darkness in place of the sun. The world is that kind of thing, and should be that way. If the sun became huge enough to illuminate all of Earth we would be burned up by that radiance."

Shining light is wonderful and something honored.

But if it strengthens it will burn everything. Precisely even itself.

If you do not acknowledge what you cannot do and desperately think I have to do everything yourself you of course and those around will be involved and ruined.

Precisely if Niekawa does not acknowledge the fact he cannot win against Remora combatants and challenges a fight it will only end with him pulling the Sacred’s legs.

"Therefore. You may shed tears, but they should be tears of frustration not despair. If you become aware of insufficiency, if you understand what you cannot do, people can walk a new road and hold hands with someone. If needed I will also lend a hand. And when I am troubled I want Wayne-senpai to lend power. Give and take, I think people are that kind of thing."

Fail at crucial scenes?

Then while working hard so as not to fail next, at the next timing ask someone for an opinion.

Continue effort and borrow the hand of someone who walks together.

By doing that people can advance forward.

"...As words to comfort a woman they are unqualified."

Kusuri.

She involuntarily laughed as if teasing.

Rather than comforting it is firing up, telling a girl hanging her head and crying to stand and start walking. Fundamentally this boy’s method is wrong.

Probably the majority of girls would get angry that what I want you to say in this instant is not that.

At those words Niekawa laughed hoho greatly.

"Aa, I am aware. I have also angered girls trying to comfort, and Furezawa laughed at me you if you nodded with a meek face and said something like it was hard you could get one or two girlfriends."

...At Furezawa’s words she frowned that is a lowest statement... but there was a part she nodded certainly.

If right now here I were told it was sad, it was hard, it is fine I know you are working hard, be at ease you are not wrong at all. I might have gone korori like twisting a baby’s hand. Other men aside, I originally held favor toward him. It would not be strange at all if it became that.

"But if I just nod suitably it will be a repeat of the same thing. Then there is no help for it. I will gladly fulfill the hated role."

"...You are a difficult person."

"What, I am this kind of man. I cannot improve now. No, wrong. I am an idiot who cannot think I want to improve. Then there is no help for it. Until the day I truly regret from my heart I will only keep walking this road."

He knows a hundred times there is a road easier to walk.

But I want to walk this road, he laughs, and Grace smiled as if hooked.

"But... I think that kind of man is more preferable."

"That is welcome. I myself am doing it because I want to, but being told that is still happy."

Grace glared at his figure laughing hoho with half-lidded eyes.

Earlier he called himself a junk full of defects.

It was a grating way of speaking, but now she can nod a little.

This man. Being told preferable by the opposite sex and that reaction is what...

"Then shall we go. We talked too long. I aside Wayne-senpai must hurry."

"...Grace is fine."

She let out a small sigh and looked straight back at him who directed a suspicious face this way.

"I have not done enough to be called senpai by you. Rather I have only caused trouble. And yet if I am respected just because I am one year older I will feel guilty."

"Mu? I want to say don’t mind it... no, it is not something I should judge. ...Got it, Grace."

"Yes, Kazuki."

Being led walking by one she should protect, a powerless weak one.

That is surely something previous Grace Wayne could not think of, but she thinks it is not bad.