Chapter 60: Dream

――The world was swaying, gently swaying.

I was leaning against someone’s back, being carried somewhere far away.

It felt... so familiar. Ah, yes. Grace understood.

It had happened a long time ago, when she was still a child.

Back then she had no elegant lady-like manners, no Sacred Knight duties—just a little kid who had run out of the mansion to play. The same kind of thing had happened then.

Because she was terrified of getting scolded for sneaking away, she had crouched quietly outside the mansion until sunset. Then her big brother—Arg, her gentle older brother—had come to pick her up with a soft smile.

"Ah, Grace. You were here, huh? Time to go home. Mom and Dad are worried sick."

"...Yeah."

She knew she had done something wrong, so of course she didn’t want to go back. Arg had mixed a hint of worry into his usual warm smile and met her eyes.

"Grace, you know you did something bad, right? Then you should apologize properly. Otherwise Mom and Dad will keep forgiving you forever and ever."

So she should go home and apologize. That kind older brother had carried her on his back. She had loved his back so much—because he was serious, gentle, and she adored him.

"Grace is going to become a big sister someday. You can’t be a good big sister if you stay a bad kid."

"...That’s... complicated..."

"Then apologize properly and get scolded properly. It’s fine, I’ll stay with you."

They had walked home slowly, slowly. Looking back, she realized he had taken his time so she would have time to steel herself for the scolding. It had been a long time ago, the memory was hazy, but it was the dearest, dearest gentle memory.

"You said you’d apologize... but you still haven’t, have you? Grace. Grace. Grace! You’re still a bad kid!"

The scene switched.

Without realizing it, Grace was now carrying her brother on her back while dashing through the castle corridor.

Faster, faster—far away from the influence of the Darkness Barrier.

(Wha—?)

When had this happened? The moment confusion should have returned her to her senses, a blade of dark color stabbed her from behind.

A dark sword pierced through her abdomen and emerged.

"So you’re still a bad kid—my foolish little sister who doesn’t understand me at all. What have you accomplished? Answer me, you sun that sank after failing and refuses to rise again!"

Beside the collapsing Grace, her brother—Arg, the Black Knight Monster Villain—laughed mockingly.

In front of him lay a mountain of corpses. Countless human bodies.

"Because you’re such a human, such a useless person, that’s why everyone ended up like this. Hey, Grace... or should I say Sacred Knight? How do you feel now...?"

"Ah... ugh... No... not... that..."

She had tried her hardest. She had tried to save her brother, to protect the princess, to save her friend who she loved like a little sister. She had acted for that.

There was no lie in it. She had moved as Sacred Knight, without shaming her title... at least, that was what she had believed.

But... was this the result?

Her brother had become a Monster Villain. The Monster Villain brother had teamed up with the Demon Diablo and defiled the princess. He hadn’t even been able to purify the Monster Villains on Leas’s side.

Was she trying hard? But what kind of hard work was that when it hadn’t achieved a single goal? 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Still...

Even so, even though she was such a pathetic woman, there were still people who believed in her. There were family she had to protect. She had to meet their expectations. She had to protect her brother.

That was why she had armored her heart with shattered fragments.

Back when peace still existed. When her brother was there, when she had trained with the other Sacred Knights and knights, when she had come home from training and bought sweets for her little brother on the way.

To not betray Leas’s trusting smile when she said, "Big sis is like the sun," to not worry the people she had to protect—

She had kept acting like herself.

That was what everyone expected of her—Sacred Knight.

To mercilessly burn enemies and gently warm innocent people with flames. To act exactly like she truly believed she was.

It was fine. Because the pain was only hers.

If she acted well enough, everyone would feel at ease. Everyone, everyone would smile. Surely, surely.

So this was enough.

This was how everything should end—rounded off, perfect.

"Ah, but—but—"

She reached out.

She didn’t know where she was reaching for, what she wanted to grab.

"It hurts... it’s so painful... Brother... Brother... please save me..."

What was she saying? The words that slipped out naturally made her want to die from self-loathing.

She had found herself crouching on her knees that day. She had reached out to the phantom of her brother carrying her home. She knew she could never reach him anymore, but she had a habit of not being someone who could beg for help in the first place.

——Ah, that was why... she had wanted to see Leas so badly it hurt.

She clung to her best friend, to the little sister she loved. She unconsciously took her steps toward the academy she almost never attended—then she realized she couldn’t move another step. Her heart, her body, everything was broken.

She wasn’t someone who could purify the tentacle Monster Villain by trusting herself, and she wasn’t someone who could trust Leas to purify the Monster Villain. She was an incompetent, half-baked woman—

Ah, no good. She would disappoint her.

So there was no time to be ashamed and ask for help. After all, she wasn’t someone who should be saved—she was someone who should save others.

She had to work even harder. More, more, more—still more. She couldn’t rest, she couldn’t slack off. Extra energy was forbidden to her.

So she had to stop reaching out for help—

——It’s fine.

But.

The hand she had stretched out was definitely being caught in return.

She looked up. Her young brother was smiling gently at her.

(——Ah)

She had felt this sensation since that day. She had felt it for a very, very long time—