141 - The Decision

Arielle didn’t initially know how to respond to Lyra’s allegation. She was slow to process the words, her mind telling her that Lyra had to be mistaken, that there was no way she truly felt the magic of death.

First of all, how could she have, when she didn’t even know what soul magic was? How would she gain such an ability if she hadn’t spent hours and days and weeks meditating in front of a demon that continued dying in cycles?

But Lyra wouldn’t lie about something like that, and it simply didn't make sense as a joke.

“How?” Arielle asked.

Lyra shrugged weakly, looking unsure herself. “Because, well…I’ve always worked with plants, right? We all help out at the farm, and my mother and I have tended to the gardens since I was barely old enough to walk. My mother always said that as I grew up, I had a knack for knowing when a plant would die, even when it happened out of the blue. I even predicted once when we lost our entire field to a soil toxin. There was no obvious sign, and I never told anyone, but I just sort of felt it, like a tug here." She pressed her hands against her left upper abdomen. "Like an energy, or maybe a lack thereof. I stood amongst them and felt them fading away. Sure enough, within a day or two they were gone, and the feeling disappeared. My mother said I used to sometimes go and pray over the plants as they died.”

"So this is just with plants?" Ari asked.

"I think so," Lyra said. "Sometimes with insects also, like ladybugs or bees."

“I don’t know if plants have souls.”

Lyra opened her mouth and then shook her head.

“Actually, I don’t know either. You're probably right. Maybe I’m just being delusional.”

Arielle shot to her feet. She didn’t want to be rash or do anything stupid because of her assumptions or unrealistic longing. She also didn’t want to get Lyra’s hopes up too, just to have them dashed.

But she had never considered this before–that Lyra might hold the key to her own salvation.

“Give me a second,” she said.

“Why?” Lyra said. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s just…” She bit her lip and exhaled through her nose. Urgency beat at her. “Just give me a second. I’ll be right back.”

“Oh…okay.”

Arielle gave Lyra what she hoped was a comforting smile and dashed deeper into the forest. When she was sure she was deep enough that she couldn't be overheard, she brought out her arm and said, “Vittoria, I need your help.”

No response.

She cleared her throat and sped up her breathing, trying to mimic the somatic effects of adrenaline***.

“Vittoria, I’m in danger.”

“You know I know you’re lying when you do that, right?” A misty wisp curled from her arm and transformed into the portal bird perched on her wrist. “What is it?”

“Lyra can sense dying souls.”

Vittoria blinked. It was likely a shocking statement to dump on her out of the blue. To her credit, she didn't gasp or immediately assume Arielle was lying. “How do you know?”

“Because she told me.” Arielle went on to narrate what Lyra had explained, about knowing when crops were dying and feeling their decrease in energy. Then, she asked Vittoria, “Is that not the thing I’m supposed to feel when I was watching the demon die?”

“With plants?” Vittoria said. “Plants don’t have souls.”

“That’s what I said,” Arielle said. “But maybe they do for Lyra. She's different. And Vitae likes her, and Vitae is the essence of all life, so maybe...maybe it somehow ensouls plants the way you do with other non-living things? And it's through Lyra.”

“That's unlikely. It took me forever to learn to ensoul.”

“Well, Lyra is special,” Arielle said.

Vittoria was quiet for some time. When she spoke again, her tone was contemplative. “Plants may not have souls, but they do have life material. And perhaps your Vitae-heavy friend is extra-sensitive to that.”'

"So would that make her extra sensitive to soul magic as well?"

"Maybe. Or maybe plants do have a peculiar life essence, a sort of soul that humans haven't been able to understand yet."

“Yes!" Arielle said, trying not to show her excitement. “Perhaps that’s exactly what it is."

Vittoria's bird sighed. "So I’m guessing you want me to do something, because you think this information enables us to help her in some way? You still haven't given up on this cure, have you?"

Ariele was suddenly nervous, because this was probably going against everything Vittoria had recently spoken to her about, and she didn't want to offend the woman again.

“I know it could mean nothing,” she said. “And I know we already decided that I would accept my limitations and give up on trying to find a cure for Lyra. And I have. I accepted that I'm not capable of curing her, but maybe Lyra can cure herself. With your help."

"How?"

"Well, you can see her soul? Right?"

"Yes, but looking at a soul isn't an exact science. It's not like looking at a map and pinpointing, 'hey, this is the part that governs the oath, and here is the part that shows her memory'. It's very... multi-dimensional, and this curse, I'm not certain I know what to even look for while I'm there."

"But you do know the parts that govern the oath," Arielle pointed out. "Wouldn't it be the same parts of her that feel the magic of death? At least they would be connected, since it's an ability she has thanks to the oath with Vitae?"

Vittoria was quiet for a few more seconds and then said, "You're pretty smart sometimes, you know that, Ari?"

"Yes," she accepted magnanimously.

Vittoria gave a short chuckle. "But now comes the second step. Even if I get the general area, or find the link to the oath, I'll have to be very precise, and I'll have to know exactly how to break the oath without hurting the rest of her soul."

"Maybe the blue orb can help you."

"How would it do that?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Well, I'm not going to get that girl's hopes up if you're not sure. So I suggest you get sure very fast."

That was exactly what Arielle did.

She thought about the technique she had wanted to use when she eventually learned soul magic, but now that she hadn't, it wouldn't quite work.

Unless...

"Will Lyra be able to feel you exploring her soul?"

"Maybe," she said. "If I want her to."

"I can figure out a way to feel what Lyra's feeling too and connect that to you. So if I add depth to that spell, and have Lyra focus solely on the sensation of the dying, perhaps the blue orb might be able to help you sense what she's feeling and tell you exactly where you need to go. It can guide you through the multi-dimensional landscape."

Ari held her breath as she waited for a response, Vittoria’s silence boosting her anxiety. It wasn't a perfect answer, as Arielle didn't know exactly if it would work. She didn't know enough about what the soul looked like to know if her logic was sound. Such a thing might not be possible, and boosting [Sensate] with the blue orb could lead to the overwhelm that happened the last time Ari had tried it.

But maybe Vittoria could tolerate the increased information input better than Arielle. She could maybe sort through it more adequately.

She was partially elven after all.

Arielle half-expected her to say no, or at least give another lecture about Arielle giving up.

"Okay." The bird blinked slowly. “It's a good plan. But this isn’t a guarantee that it will work.”

“Yes. But we could try. I’ll tell Lyra not to get her hopes up, but we can try regardless.”

Vittoria nodded, and then, as the portal bird transformed into a swirling darkness, the real Vittoria stepped out.

Arielle led her to where Lyra was waiting, facing the other direction.

She only turned around when Ari stepped on a twig that let out a crackling sound.

When she saw them, Lyra's jaw dropped.

"Lyra," Arielle said, holding out her hand. "Do not be alarmed. This is my friend–"

“Commander Vittoria,” Lyra said.

“You know who she is?”

“Of course I know who she is,” Lyra hissed, scrambling to her feet. "Are you joking, Arielle? Who doesn’t know the commander?”

Arielle hadn’t when they met. Vittoria had said she’d been retired for several decades before Arielle was even born, so there was no way for her to know who she was, especially since she didn’t spend time in Ascendant society.

But that was the difference between Lyra and her. Though Lyra’s territory wasn't immersed in noble ascendancy and was on the outskirts of the physical ascendant world itself, her father being the sect leader and being a Greenfinger meant that they had some access to Ascendant history books, in which Vittoria was a prominent figure.

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Vittoria sent Ari a smug look as Lyra's jaw remained hanging.

"At least one of you acknowledges my greatness," she said, mockingly.

Arielle merely blinked.

"It's lovely to meet you, Lyra. Arielle told me that you have a certain connection with plants. Can you explain more?"

"Uh-huh," she said blankly. "Wait, Ari, did you say Commander Vittoria is your friend?"

"Yes," Arielle responded. "Though, she's more of Elric's friend, really."

"How did you never mention this?”

“I did not think it was relevant."

"Not relevant? You thought it was not relevant that you personally know the most legendary commander in the world?"

"Yes."

Lyra huffed and looked to the sky. “Arielle, I swear one of these days…” She didn’t complete the thought, because her gaze was back on Vittoria, who was clearly still waiting for an answer, though it seemed Lyra had forgotten the question.

"Well?" Vittoria prompted.

“Erm, yes,” Lyra said, with a start. "I can–" She cleared her throat. "I can feel when plants are about to die, or when they're actively dying. I don’t know for sure if that’s helpful. Arielle told me plants don't have souls, so maybe–”

"Just explain as best as you can the sensation. For example, where do you feel it at?"

Without skipping a beat, Lyra pressed her upper abdomen, a few inches from her heart. "Here. It's like a heat but not really. It's hard to explain. It's a slight tug that I almost don't notice, but also a light pressure. Like a knot."

“And how do you feel after it dies? Does it stop then?"

“Yes. It's like an exhaled breath, a stillness with a piece of light at the end."

Vittoria’s expression didn’t change much, but the things that did change were loud. There was the twitch of her eyebrow, the little dance at the corner of her mouth before she spoke again.

“Huh," she said.

"Is that it?" Arielle asked. "Is that what she's supposed to feel?"

Vittoria nodded subtly, but said nothing else.

“Is everything okay?” Lyra said, concern leaking into her tone.

“Yes. Just give me a second.” However, Vittoria managed to project her voice into Arielle's head, saying, "Let's go get it."

"Get what?"

“The blue orb.”

Ari brightened up, but Vittoria said, “I’m still not promising anything. But we can try. We have to move fast, before she loses her cores for good.”

Arielle nodded. Then she told Lyra, “We have to go.”

“What? Why?"

“It's hard to say. We’ll be right back."

“Okay, but Ari, tell me what’s going on at least.”

Arielle hesitated. “I don’t..I don’t want to give you any false hope. “

“Okay. False hope about what?”

“About your cores.”

Lyra's eyes widened. “Wait. You mean you could fix them?”

“No,” Vittoria said. “We’re not sure. But I'm going to examine them, and then we’re going to see what we can do. But again, don’t get your hopes up.”

“Okay,” she said, then ventured, “Is it going to hurt?”

“The examination won’t hurt,” Vittoria said. “Whatever comes after might.”

Lyra paled, then swallowed.

They couldn’t waste any more time, so Arielle gave Lyra a comforting look before they disappeared.

It took her a few seconds to get the blue orb. Before they left, though, Vittoria said, “Show me the spell form for the thing you're going to impose on me."

Arielle quickly crafted it in the air with light: the spell forms for [Sensate] and aura reading, combined with the blue orb.

Vittoria read it and said, "Alright, not bad. But there's also something else I want you to try, connected to the blue orb, which will make my job easier. Can you handle holding the two spells at once, with the blue orb in the middle?"

"Probably," she said. "But what does the spell do?"

"I'll explain later. We have to move."

"Okay."

They went back to Lyra, who was still seated amongst the brush, playing with a flower.

She bolted to her feet when she saw them.

"Okay, Lyra," Vittoria said as she knelt in front of her. "Is there any plant here that's actively dying?"

Lyra nodded. She pointed at a wilting lily. "That one."

"Good. I want you to focus on that as hard as you can. Go into a deep meditation, imagining you're in core-balancing class. Okay?"

"Okay," Lyra said, looking nervous but eager.

"At the same time, I want you to tell me about yourself. Your childhood. It can be happy stuff or sad stuff, just anything that evokes emotion." She said, "It's going to be difficult keeping focus on both those things at the same time, but I'm going to need you to try your absolute best. Alright?"

"Yes," she said. "I can do it."

Vittoria offered her a smile. "Good girl."

She glanced at Arielle, who nodded to show that she was ready.

Then it began.

“The first birthday I remember was when my father took me to Rios with him. It was just the two of us on a horse, and it was kind of awkward at first, because he worked most of my childhood and it felt like I didn’t really know him too well…”

As Lyra got into her story, Arielle first formed the [Sensate] combo with the additional blue orb, but she detached the originator bond of the spell from herself and gave it to Vittoria.

Vittoria jerked the second it happened, but she didn't scream as Arielle had when she'd first tried [Sensate] with the blue orb.

Instead, Vittoria somehow managed to regulate the spell before casting another spell that surrounded the first spell, which maybe made her capable of tolerating and segmenting its effects.

Ari paid close attention to the spell, even though it might not work for her body either.

For now, she also arranged the other spell Vittoria told her to cast, which was far more complex and would have had her dancing on the edge of a [Hidden Ability] marker, had she not given it to Vittoria's before allowing the spell to complete. She stabilized it regardless, which kept her in contact without allowing her to bear the full burden of the spell.

In the meantime, Lyra continued her story with her eyes closed.

“...and then when we came back we were closer than ever. Every now and then we still fight about who knows what…”

The spell complex Vittoria had formed with Lyra was so strong that some of it started to spill out to Ari herself, through her slight connection in stabilizing the spell.

Through that, she felt some of what Lyra was feeling. It was a lot of emotion. It was like someone had turned up all the color in the world, and it was a lot brighter and livelier. Even her heart beat faster.

Moreover, there was the thing that Lyra was focused on: the core connection inside her.

The soul touch.

Ari had never felt anything comparable, so it was so distinct. She didn't even have a reference for it, and had never felt anything like it.

This was what she had been missing. This was what it felt like.

The feeling died when Vittoria said, "I think I’ve located the general location of the curse.”

Arielle was excited, but she remained calm as Vittoria worked. She held it all together so Vittoria could use all her focus on Lyra, and then, after fifteen minutes had passed, Vittoria finally opened her eyes.

"Okay," she said. "That's enough."

“Really?” Ari asked.

"Yes." The spells fell away as she spoke, dispersing in the air, the blue orb dancing in place.

She stood, and they waited for her verdict with bated breath.

"I have good news and bad news," she said. "The good news is that I've pretty much managed to locate all the parts of the soul involved in the oath."

Arielle tempered her reaction. She wanted to whoop, but she steeled herself for the bad news.

"The bad news is that the oath is still too complex for me to break without harming you with backlash while preserving your current core strength.”

“So there's nothing we can do?" Lyra asked.

"No. There is one thing we can do, but it might have side effects.”

Lyra sat straighter, hope radiating off her face once more. "Like what?"

"Well, first let me explain what it is. The oath markers are spread across portions of your soul, but since it's currently inactive, it mostly only affects the non-essential parts of the soul, the parts that, if excised, would not make that much of a difference in your life. Well, except for one, which is the connection to your Vitae core and, in effect, the rest of your cores."

"I see," Lyra said as Vittoria paused for breath.

"In a perfect world, I would be able to get you out of that curse, with no side effects. But we do not live in a perfect world, and it's a miracle we were even able to discover this much." She sighed. "Instead of breaking the oath, what I want to do is to cut out the portions of your soul that contain the oath."

"You want to cut my soul?" Lyra practically squawked, and Vittoria held her hand up.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, truly. Many people, including myself, have lost non-essential parts of their souls before. Some people lose it to disease, or near-death circumstances, or severe mental distress. Usually it's old memories, some vitality, or some ability that you lose, stuff you might not even notice. We can cut off the entire part of the soul that hosts the oath, and you will barely feel it. That way, you will no longer be bound by it. The only thing is that with the way the oath is attached to your cores...essentially you will also be losing the growth you've had with Vitae so far, and it will be reset to baseline as your weakest core."

"Oh," Lyra said. "That's it?"

"Yes. It would be impossible to do it after you turn sixteen because then the oath spreads over a much larger area and governs essential parts. Then it will be even more dangerous to excise. But now, it’s easier. If we want to do it, we should do it now.”

"But...all my other cores are less developed," Lyra said. "It would be like starting from scratch with everything."

"Yes," Vittoria said. "But you will no longer have the limitations with using other cores that you do now."

"Yes, but..." Lyra bit her lip. "I would be so unskilled. I'm already struggling now. Without my overdeveloped Vitae, I'm not sure I'll make it through another semester."

“I could help you,” Arielle said. “I can help you start over. If they kick you out of the academy, I’ll drop out too, and we can just train together.”

Vittoria shot Arielle a sharp look before she said, “I don’t think that will be necessary. I can put in a good word at the academy, and someone with your skill and work ethic will catch up quickly. But the truth is that starting all over…it can be taxing. I’m sure you could achieve it, but the question is, do you want to?”

Lyra looked down and swallowed hard. “I don’t know. Can I think about it?”

"Sure, but you don’t have a lot of time. I would only risk a few more minutes until it's the exact time of your birth. From that point there's no going back."

Lyra paled.

Her eyes were wide and panicked, her bottom lip turning red from how hard she was biting it. The air was silent, the plants still in anticipation.

She closed her eyes.

"This is much harder than I thought it would be," she said. "You're offering me a solution, and it sounds nice and all, but...I don't know. I spent so much time feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t stop to think about just how special I was. And now I might potentially lose it; I'm not sure I want to anymore."

Arielle blinked.

She wasn't expecting this.

She hadn't at all expected that when they found a solution, Lyra might not want it.

It was a good solution too, even with the unexpected trade-off.

Lyra looked to Arielle. “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

Ari only gave it a split-second thought before she said, "I would excise the connection with Vitae and start over. I value my connection with all the essences over a stronger connection with just one. But you’re not me, Lyra. You have a special connection with Vitae, and it really likes you. But I don't know how much you like it, to give up everything for it."

"I don't know either." Lyra looked into space, where even now the Vitae danced around her, seemingly also waiting for her to decide.

She then glanced at Vittoria and asked, "What do you think I should do, Commander?"

Vittoria said, "I can't answer that for you. Your connection with Vitae is certainly special. I've never heard of anyone achieving soul magic through plants before. If trained, you'll be a very impressive mage indeed."

“Can I be a combat priestess?” she asked.

Vittoria smiled. “Let's just say, you can be a lot more than that.”

“Can I…” Lyra pressed her lips together. "Can I be like you?’

Vittoria’s eyes warmed, and she said, “I don't see why not. With enough time and dedication. It’s not going to be easy working with only one core, and you will likely face some prejudice because of it. But just as many people will be fascinated by you, others will be jealous as well. You will stand out everywhere you go, with no hope of ever blending in. Whether they scorn you or admire you, there will be complications adapting your magic at every stage. It won't be easy or typical, but I've always thought most things worth having come with a little struggle."

Lyra looked to Arielle after that, saying with a smile. "It sounds like she's describing you."

Ari shrugged.

Lyra continued staring at her for a long time. They let her have the seconds to think, and merely stood there as it ticked by, bit by bit.

"I will make sure you stay in the academy even if you have to start over," Arielle said. "And make sure that you catch up to speed in no time at all. So don't be afraid of that when you're making your decision.

Then she beamed and bit her lip. She remained silent for a couple of thoughtful minutes, weighing the options in her head. Then she nodded.

“Okay. I think I know what I want to do.”