Chapter 2: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW A ROM-COM PROTAGONIST

Vael spent the next six hours trying to kill the System.

He began with conventional magic.

Dispel failed.

Soul severance failed.

Anti-divination wards failed.

He tried a forbidden curse he had personally invented during the Siege of Valmor.

The System responded:

[Interesting visual effect. 6/10.]

Vael escalated.

At noon, his cottage smelled of sulfur.

At one, three crows had fallen unconscious from residual mana.

At two, General refused to enter the house.

At three, Vael dug through an old chest beneath his bed and retrieved a black obsidian dagger once used for sacrificing celestial entities.

He stabbed the floating window.

The blade passed through.

[Violence is not a love language, Host.]

Vael sat down.

He was exhausted.

The pink window floated serenely before him.

"Explain yourself."

[Romantic Comedy Protagonist System exists to improve the Host’s romantic, emotional, and social life.]

"I do not have one."

[Correct.]

"I do not want one."

[Statement flagged as suspicious.]

A status panel appeared.

[Host Psychological Snapshot]

[Attachment Avoidance: Extreme]

[Social Isolation: Severe]

[Emotional Honesty: 2/100]

[Primary Objective: Classified]

Vael stared at the last line.

"Classified from whom?"

[You.]

"That is not how classification works."

[It is now.]

He pointed at the emotional honesty score.

"Two?"

[Generous rounding.]

Vael wanted to be angry.

Unfortunately, the System was difficult to strangle.

He studied the reward again.

Biological Age -1 Year.

"What happens if the hand-holding is forced?"

[Invalid.]

"If I pay someone?"

[Transactional. Invalid for this quest.]

"Mind control?"

[Cheating.]

"Hostage negotiation?"

[WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?]

Vael smiled faintly.

"So you can become irritated."

[...]

Interesting.

He spent the next hour testing loopholes.

Could he hold the hand of a corpse?

No.

A summoned skeleton?

No.

A shapeshifted demon?

[Technically possible, but please maintain some dignity.]

General the chicken?

[General is a chicken.]

"I know that."

[The fact that you asked concerns me.]

Vael narrowed his eyes.

"What if I simply repeat a successful action until I am young again?"

[Repeated identical actions do not generate repeated rejuvenation rewards.]

[Novelty, sincerity, or meaningful context is required.]

"I had not asked that yet."

[You were thinking very loudly.]

Vael disliked a system that could anticipate loopholes.

By sunset he had made no progress.

Then someone knocked on his door.

Three slow knocks.

Vael opened it.

Old Mira from two cottages down stood outside with a basket on one arm. She was eighty-one, round-faced, sharp-eyed, and entirely unimpressed by Vael’s existence.

"Vale. My fence broke."

"No."

"You haven’t heard what I want."

"You want me to fix it."

"Yes."

"No."

Mira narrowed her eyes.

"I brought stew."

Vael looked at the basket.

He looked back at her.

"...Where is the fence?"

Twenty minutes later, he was hammering a post into the soil while Mira held a lantern.

"You hit like an old woman," Mira said.

"I am older than you."

"Then die faster."

Vael almost respected her.

When they finished, Mira stepped over a muddy ditch, slipped, and instinctively grabbed his hand.

Vael froze.

The System appeared.

[1...]

Mira frowned.

"What?"

"Nothing."

[3...]

"Why are you holding my hand like that?"

"You might fall."

"I already crossed."

[6...]

"Vale."

"Stay still."

"Are you dying?"

[9...]

Vael tightened his grip in grim concentration.

Mira slapped his shoulder with the basket.

[10!]

[QUEST COMPLETE!]

Warmth exploded through Vael’s body.

His spine straightened.

His lungs expanded.

The dull ache behind his ribs vanished.

One year.

Only one year.

But he felt it.

Vael released Mira’s hand.

She stared at him suspiciously.

"You’re strange today."

Vael stared at his fingers.

For the first time in decades, they were no longer trembling.

A new window appeared.

[Congratulations on your first hand-holding experience!]

[Romantic Experience: 1]

Vael’s expression darkened.

"Delete that statistic."

[No.]

Mira leaned closer.

"Why are you glaring at the air?"

"Private matter."

"You’ve finally gone senile."

"Probably."

He walked back toward his cottage.

After five steps, he stopped.

Mira was still standing by the repaired fence, flexing the hand he had nearly crushed through sheer concentration.

Vael looked at the System again.

The System did not explain why it had chosen him.

It only displayed a small message.

[Daily Quests unlock at sunrise.]

Vael stared at it.

The most dangerous thought he had entertained in years crept quietly into his mind.

What if it worked again?