Chapter 4: MY BACK DOESN’T HURT?!

Once Vael accepted that the System could restore his youth, he approached romance the same way he had approached continental warfare.

Systematically.

By the third day, his cottage wall contained a hand-drawn chart.

QUEST TYPE.

REWARD.

DIFFICULTY.

POTENTIAL LOOPHOLES.

RISK OF HUMILIATION.

The final category received the most attention.

"Compliment someone sincerely," Vael read aloud.

[Reward: Biological Age -1 Year]

He crossed his arms.

"What qualifies as a compliment?"

[Positive truthful statement intended to make someone feel appreciated.]

Vael found Farmer Jerek repairing a cart.

"Your ox has superior musculature."

Jerek stared.

[Invalid. Compliment directed at ox.]

Vael tried again.

"Your cart is structurally adequate."

[Invalid.]

"Your survival rate is above village average."

[Host, please stop.]

By afternoon, the System had added a temporary statistic.

[Social Competence: F-]

Vael resented the minus.

Eventually he passed the quest by telling Mira that her stew was good.

It was true.

She stared at him for so long that Vael nearly withdrew the statement.

Then she laughed.

"You really are dying."

Another year disappeared from his body.

The next quests came quickly.

Share a meal with someone instead of eating alone.

Help someone without threatening them.

Accept a gift and say thank you.

Listen to another person speak for five uninterrupted minutes.

The last nearly killed him.

Mira spent twelve minutes explaining a disagreement involving three chickens, a fence, and the baker’s cousin.

Vael endured the entire story.

[Legendary Patience Achievement Unlocked.]

By the end of the week, Vael had shed seven more biological years.

He felt stronger each morning. His appetite returned. His eyesight sharpened. The tremor in his hands disappeared. When he walked to the well, he no longer planned where to sit halfway there.

Then the System offered something different.

[BEGINNER STREAK BONUS QUEST]

[Attend the Harvest Supper and remain socially engaged for three hours.]

[Reward: Biological Age -15 Years]

Vael stared.

"Fifteen?"

[Correct.]

"There must be a catch."

[You must speak to at least five people.]

Vael’s expression darkened.

"There it is."

The Harvest Supper took place in the village square beneath strings of lanterns. Vael had avoided it every year by claiming illness, demonic possession, or both.

This time, he appeared.

The entire square went quiet.

Someone dropped a spoon.

Mira waved him over.

"Stop looking like you came to collect souls."

"I did not want to come."

"We know."

Vael sat.

For three hours, he suffered.

Children asked him why he never married.

Farmers asked about his mysterious youthfulness.

The baker tried to introduce him to her widowed sister.

Mira loudly announced that Vael "needed a woman before he fossilized."

At minute one hundred and seventy-nine, Vael was considering genocide.

[Violence prohibited during social event.]

"I know."

"What?" Mira asked.

"Nothing."

At exactly three hours, the System chimed.

[QUEST COMPLETE!]

The effect hit him like lightning.

Vael grabbed the table.

His heartbeat strengthened.

Gray vision sharpened.

His shoulders broadened beneath his old shirt.

Pain vanished from his knees.

The white in his beard receded like frost under sunlight.

People around the table fell silent.

Mira slowly lowered her spoon.

"Vale."

Vael touched his face.

The sagging skin at his jaw had tightened.

He stood upright.

Not with effort.

Naturally.

Biologically, he had fallen from roughly eighty-five to around seventy.

The baker whispered, "What in the gods’ names—"

Vael immediately grabbed his cloak.

"I am leaving."

Mira pointed at him.

"You were old this morning."

"I moisturized."

"No cream does that."

"Expensive cream."

Vael fled the festival.

Behind him, the village erupted into speculation.

By midnight, three theories dominated.

One: Vale was secretly an elf.

Two: Vale had stolen a witch’s youth potion.

Three: Vale was being replaced gradually by his own son.

Vael preferred the third.

Unfortunately, the System displayed:

[New Achievement: Mysterious Silver Fox]

Vael punched the wall.

His fist went through it.

He stared at the hole.

Then at his hand.

His strength was returning too.

For the first time, excitement flickered beneath his annoyance.

And that frightened him more than the System did.