Chapter 19: Stupid fucking ring

"I should have you killed now."

I stare at him.

For a second, I genuinely wonder if I heard him correctly.

"Why?"

His eyes narrow.

That question clearly isn’t the one he expected.

"Why?"

He repeats it slowly, like I’m an idiot for askinh.

"Yes. Why?"

I fold my arms across my chest snd hs jaw tightens.

"You embarrassed me."

I blink.

"What?"

"You heard me."

His voice rises.

"You stood in front of everyone and challenged me."

"You were selling my sister to a fucking Sanchez!."

"I am the Don!."

"I don’t care."

His expression darkens.

"You will care."

He leans forward in his chair.

"You disrespected a direct command from me in front of the Sanchez family."

"Because you were making a decision that affects Olivia’s entire life!"

"You think I don’t know that?"

His voice suddenly booms through the office.

"Unc...."

"Shut thr fuck up!"

His hand slams against the desk and i flinc because the sudden sound makes my heart jump.

He pushes himself back in his chair, breathing heavily through his nose.

"You think I wanted this?"

He points toward the door.

"You think I want a fucking Sanchez on my grounds?"

His finger moves around the room.

"In my house? In my space?"

His voice drips with disgust.

"I’ve spent years fighting those bastards."

"So have we."

"Exactly."

He leans back.

"So don’t stand there acting like I’m enjoying this."

I stare at him.

He looks furious bt underneath the anger....There is something else.

"But it had to be done."

I shake my head.

"No. No, it didn’t."

His eyes meet mine.

"It should have been you, you know."

My heart stops.

"What?"

He doesn’t hesitate.

"It should have been you."

I stare at him.

He gestures toward the chair opposite his desk.

"You’re the younger daughter."

"So?"

"But you should have been the one offered."

My stomach twists.

"But you aren’t."

I don’t understand.

He sighs.

"Oli isn’t suited for this nd you know this."

My eyebrows pull together.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she’s too soft."

My jaw clenches.

"She is kind and kindness doesn’t survive easily in our world."

I hate that a part of me knows he’s right.

He continues.

"I could have bent tradition."

My heart skips.

"You could?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn’t you?"

His gaze moves over me.

"You."

I frown.

"What about me?"

He gives a humorless laugh.

"You’re too opinionated."

I open my mouth.

"Too stubborn."

I close it.

"Too..."

His hand drags through the air toward my entire body.

"...this."

I look down at myself then back at him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You aren’t a suitable bride for a man like Lysander."

My chest tightens.

"Why?"

"Because you’d embarrass this family."

The words hit harder than they should bt he doesn’t stop.

"You’re everything a woman in our family isn’t supposed to be."

I stare at him, my mouth going dry.

"You talk too much."

I scof.

"You challenge authority."

"Because sometimes authority is fucking stupid."

His eyes flash.

"You see?"

He gestures toward me.

"Exactly this."

I look away.

"You don’t know how to sit quietly."

I swallow.

"You don’t know how to obey."

My hands curl into fists.

"And you certainly don’t know how to submit when it’s necessary."

I hate the way he’s saying it.

"So it had to be Olivia."

He pauses.

"Remember that."

I look at him.

"It’s Olivia because of you."

My heart sinks.

"You put her in that position."

Silenc.

I stare at him, I know what he’s doing.

I know.

He’s manipulating me, he knows exactly which buttons to press, he knows Olivia is my weakness, he knows I’ll blame myself before I blame her.

And yet...It works.

God help me, It fucking works.

My eyes burn nd I look away before he can see it. Because suddenly, a thought I don’t want to have slips into my head.

Maybe I could survive a Sanchez household,maybe I could survive Lysander.

I’ve lived around men like him my entire life, I’ve learned how to fight, how to defend myself, how to keep my mouth shut when I absolutely have to.

But Olivia? Could she survive it? Could my sweet, gentle sister survive being surrounded by people who have spent generations hating her family? Could she survive being married to a man who probably sees her as nothing more than a political agreement?

My chest hurts.

I hate this, i hate him nd i hate myself for even considering it.

"What can I do?"

Lorenzo simply looks at me wit no sympathy or comfort.

Nothing.

His expression is almost disdainful.

I know what he’s thinking, he thinks I’ve finally understood my place.

I haven’t.....Not really.

I just don’t know what else to do.

"I don’t know."

Of course he doesn’t.

He never gives me anything.

I wipe my palms against my trousers and turn toward the door.

Fine.

If he wants to destroy my family, he can do it without me standing here listening to him.

I take two steps towards the door when.....

"Nerissa."

I stop br don’t turn around.

"Aren’t you forgetting something?"

I close my eyes.

Of course.

Slowly, I turn to see hs hand is extended across the desk bd on it sits that stupid fucking ring.

The Don’s ring....The symbol of everything I hate about this.

I stare at it and my stomach twists.

I know the drill, I’ve known it my entire life.

I have to do it.