Chapter 25: I’ve accepted it.

"Cassian."

"Hmm?"

"You’re going to hate me."

He looks at me.

"Why?"

"Because this is going to hurt."

He gives me a tired look.

"I’ve been shot before."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it’s true."

"And yet you still haven’t learned to stay away from bullets."

Olivia lets out a nervous laugh.

I look at her.

"Hold this."

She takes the gauze I hand her and presses it firmly against the wound.

Cassian’s jaw tightens.

"Harder."

Olivia looks horrified.

"Harder?"

"Yes."

She presses down and Cassian sucks in a sharp breath.

"Fuck."

"Sorry."

"Don’t be."

I move closer.

My heartbeat is so loud I can hear it in my ears as I examine the wound carefully.

The bullet is still buried dee inside.

"Okay."

I reach for the tweezers.

Olivia’s eyes widen.

"You’re actually going to take it out?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

I look at her.

"When would you prefer?"

"I don’t know. When we’re not doing it on your bed?"

"Then you can take him to the hospital."

She immediately shuts up.

Cassian looks between us.

"Can both of you stop arguing?"

"No," Olivia and I say together.

Then I take a deep breath.

"Okay."

I look directly at him.

"This is going to hurt."

He nods.

"Do it."

I position the tweezers.

My fingers hover over the wound then I push them inside.

Cassian’s entire body stiffens, hs hand grips the edge of the mattress.

"Fuck!"

"Stay still."

"You could’ve warned me."

"I did."

"You said it would hurt."

"And?"

"This is more than hurt."

I almost smile but then I see the blood and my smile disappears.

I keep working carefully, trying not to think about the fact that if I make one wrong move, I could make this worse.

"Almost," I whisper.

Cassian breathes heavily through his nose.

"Cass..."

"I’m fine."

"You don’t look fine."

I ignore them as my tweezers catch something.

"I’ve got it."

Cassian closes his eyes.

"Then pull it out."

I carefully tighten my grip then pull, the bullet slides free. Jt drops onto the metal tray with a tiny clink.

I stare at the tiny piece of metal, Something so small and yet it almost took his life.

I exhale shakily.

"Got it."

Olivia releases a breath.

"Oh, thank God."

I immediately start cleaning the wound.

"Don’t thank God yet. I’m not done."

I disinfect the area and begin wrapping his shoulder.

Cassian watches me silently.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"You’re staring."

"So are you."

"I’m working."

He smiles faintly.

I finish bandaging him and step back.

"There."

Olivia looks at the bandage.

"Is he going to be okay?"

I look at Cassian...then at the bloodied bullet sitting on the tray.

"He should be."

Cassian leans back against the headboard, hs eyes meet mine.

"You did good."

I look away.

"Don’t compliment me yet."

"Why?"

"Because we haven’t figured out who shot you."

His expression changes. The small smile disappears and suddenly, the room feels cold.

Because none of us have forgotten what happened at the club. Someone fired that gun, someone wanted one of us dead.

I hand Cassian some antibiotics and a glass of water.

"Take these."

He looks at the pills in my palm, sighs but he takes them.

I watch until he swallows.

"Now sleep."

"I’m fine."

"You’ve lost blood, you’ve been shot, and you’re already starting to look pale. Your body needs rest."

He leans back against the headboard.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You’re covered in my blood."

I glance down at my hands.

He’s right. There is blood everywhere.

"I’ll wash it off."

He nods.

"Go sleep, Rissa."

I star at him for a moment.

"Don’t make me regret saving you."

A tired smile touches his face.

"Wouldn’t dream of it."

I turn toward Olivia.

"Come on."

She looks at Cassian.

"Are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yes."

"Call me if anything happens."

Cassian gives her an unimpressed look.

"I won’t."

"Cassian."

"Go."

She reluctantly follows me out and I close the door behind us. Olivia walks beside me without saying anything.

When we reach the room, Olivia gets into bed while I stand there for a moment.

"I need to wash my hands."

She looks at me.

"I’ll come with you."

"You don’t have to."

"I know."

She gets up anyway.

I don’t argue as we walk to the bathroom.

I turn on the tap and place my hands beneath the running water.

The water immediately turns pink as blood runs down my fingers and disappears into the sink.

I scrub my hands hard but I can still feel it.

The warmth of Cassian’s blood so i scrub harder.

"Nerissa."

I glance at Olivia through the mirror

"Hmm?"

"Why were you there?"

My hands stop moving, I know exactly what she’s asking.

I rinse the soap from my fingers.

"I told you."

"You said you went to tie some loose ends."

I turn off the tap.

"I went to see Lysander."

Olivia’s face falls slightly.

"You actually went to him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To convince him to take back the marriage."

She stares at me.

"You went there alone?"

"Yes."

"Nerissa..."

"I didn’t have a choice."

"You could have been killed."

"I wasn’t."

"That isn’t the point."

I grab a towel and dry my hands.

"He refused."

Olivia looks down.

"I knew he would."

I turn toward her.

"What?"

She gives me a small, sad smile.

"I’ve accepted it."

I stare at her.

"No."

"Nerissa."

"No. You don’t have to accept anything."

She steps closer.

"But I do."

"You don’t want to marry him."

"No I don’t ."

"Then why are you acting like this is already decided?"

"Because it is."

"No, it isn’t."

She reaches for my hands.

"Nerissa..."

I pull them away.

"You’re my sister. I’m not going to sit here and watch them hand you over to a man that has a reputation for killing people."

Olivia’s eyes soften.

"And what are you going to do?"

"I don’t know."

"Exactly."

She steps forward and wraps her arms around me.

I stiffen.

Then slowly, I let myself relax as my arms tighten around me.

"I’ve accepted my fate," she whispers.

I close my eyes.

"You shouldn’t have to."

"But I have."

She pulls back and looks at me.

"You tried. That’s enough."

I shake my head.

"It isn’t."

"It is for me."

I stare at her.

"So stop fighting for something I’ve already made peace with."

I don’t know how to make peace with it.

Not when it’s Olivia, not when the man she’s being given to is Lysander fucking Sanchez.

And definitely not when every part of me is screaming that something about this entire arrangement is wrong.

Olivia squeezes my hands.

"Come on."

She pulls me toward the guestroom.

"Let’s sleep."

I follow her but even when I lie down beside her in the darkness, sleep doesn’t come.