Chapter 355: Not every heart

After dinner, Roman came to Eilika’s chamber in his nightclothes. Eilika spread the duvet across the bed and covered him with it before extinguishing the last glowing lamp and sliding in beside him.

Roman immediately wrapped his arms around his mother. "Mama, I missed you and your stories."

Eilika smiled and caressed his hair gently. "I missed you too, my darling." Her mind, however, remained elsewhere, particularly preoccupied with her father’s failing health.

Within minutes, Roman’s breathing turned steady as sleep took him. Eilika kissed the top of his head and tucked the duvet snugly around his shoulders to keep out the cold.

’If you were here, Damian, perhaps my worries would be lighter. Perhaps I would feel a bit stronger. I want to hold on to the hope that my father will recover,’ she thought, her mind drifting back to the long-ago illness of her mother.

Though her childhood memories were faint, she clearly recalled how frail her mother had looked during those days. Being so young then, Eilika had not understood that her mother was nearing the end of her life.

Now, her father was drifting toward that same inevitable fate. She did not want to lose him, despite the grievances she still held against him.

Restless with anxiety, sleep completely eluded her. Eilika slipped quietly from the bed, careful not to disturb Roman. She reached for her overcoat, draped it over her shoulders, and stepped out into the quiet hall for a stroll to settle her mind.

Descending the staircase, she crossed the dimly lit hallway and stepped out into the garden. The night air brought a welcome touch of calmness to her.

She looked up to see a half-moon emerging from behind the clouds. A gentle smile touched her lips as she recalled Damian’s words. He had once told her that whenever they were apart, they need only look to the moon to feel connected.

’I wonder if you are watching it too right now.’

After a quiet moment, she lowered her head, preparing to head back inside, when her eyes caught a figure sitting on a bench in the far corner of the garden.

It was August.

Eilika walked toward him, and he turned his head at the sound of her approaching steps.

"Eilika? Why are you not asleep yet?"

"I could ask the same of you, Your Highness," Eilika replied, watching him rise to his feet.

"My sleep schedule has been upended these past few days," August answered. "Is it your father’s health that keeps you awake? Please, sit." He gestured toward the space beside him.

Eilika sat down, resting her hands neatly in her lap. "It is," she admitted quietly. "I do not wish to lose him."

"Did he not always treat you poorly?" August asked, his tone pragmatic. "Word was that he cared for little else save the financial favor you could secure for him through Damian."

"You are surprisingly well-informed, Your Highness," Eilika remarked.

"It was common gossip in the city," August replied. "He will be fine. You are worrying for no reason."

"I am not like you, Prince August," Eilika said softly.

"You mean to say I am evil?" August chuckled dryly.

"No," Eilika corrected immediately, turning her gaze to meet his. "Why must you always speak so ill of yourself? I simply meant that I am not as strong as Your Highness," she explained. "It hurts to lose a parent. Even if my father has wounded me in the past, he remains my father. Were it not for him, I would never have met Damian, nor been blessed with this beautiful family."

"Hmm. That’s true," August answered.

"I shall go back now. Roman is alone in the chamber. If he wakes up and doesn’t find me, he may get panicked," Eilika said. ℴ

"Can I find a family too?" August asked suddenly as he stopped her from standing.

"Yes, of course you can," Eilika answered gently. "You deserve a family of your own. I know the complicated feelings you still hold for Liliana, but you must let them go if you wish to start afresh."

"I am of low birth," August replied, a bitter edge in his tone. "Liliana left me because I had nothing to offer her. My worth was decided the moment I was born, the son of a mistress is wanted by no one."

"Then you are mistaken, Your Highness," Eilika said. "Not every woman measures a man by what Liliana sought. Not every heart is governed by calculated advantage. If you cease looking backward and allow yourself to see the people around you, you will find someone who values you for who you are, a woman whose devotion will give you the sense of home you have lacked for so long. Have faith in that, Prince August. In my eyes, you are a good man."

August smiled faintly, though a trace of melancholy lingered in his eyes. "Thank you for the kind words, Eilika. I hope that one day I find the strength to build a family of my own. For now, my heart is simply not steady enough to risk that pain again."

"You will find that strength when the time comes," Eilika said, offering him a reassuring look before rising from the bench. "I shall take my leave now. Good night, Your Highness."

She turned and walked back toward the main house, leaving August alone in the quiet garden.

Once her footsteps faded into the distance, August reached beneath the wooden bench and withdrew a dark glass bottle of wine. He unfastened the cork with a small opener and lifted the bottle, drinking directly from it into the cold night air.

Lowering the bottle, he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"Why does it still hurt after all these years?" he muttered, letting out a short laugh. "How can I still be this vulnerable whenever I think of you? I should have killed you when I had the chance. Perhaps then I would not be forced to bear this weight today."