Chapter 266

He stared at her retreating back in bewilderment, then hurriedly moved to her side.

Not a single lamp was lit in the corridor. Only the faint moonlight streaming through the windows dimly illuminated her profile.

Keeping his eyes fixed on that hazy outline, he carefully matched his pace to hers. Talia, who had been walking slowly forward, turned toward the stairs.

He hurriedly blocked her path. His heart lurched at the thought that she might misstep and tumble down the stairs.

But she stepped forward as though she had not even noticed his presence. If anything, she was about to trip over him, leaving him no choice but to scramble backward.

He began walking several steps ahead of her, intending to catch her with his body if she fell. Fortunately, she descended the stairs calmly with one hand resting on the railing.

Just as he began wondering how someone so terrified of the dark could walk so calmly, a torch hanging near the entrance hall clearly illuminated her unfocused eyes. Only then did he realize that she was not in a lucid state of mind.

With the vacant expression of someone intoxicated, Talia approached the rear entrance and slowly reached for the doorknob. The hinges creaked, and ice-cold night air rushed inside.

He seized the hem of her skirt between his teeth and gave a low growl. But it was not enough to rouse her consciousness. She continued forward without a care even as the fabric stretched taut enough to tear, and in the end, he had no choice but to release it.

‘Where is she going?’

He watched her anxiously, then looked around the garden shrouded in darkness.

It was well past midnight, and not a single patrolling guard could be seen. Lights flickered far away atop the castle walls, but there was no way anyone over there would notice them. Still, if necessary, he could make enough noise to attract the soldiers’ attention.

He was making note of the guards’ positions so that he could call for help if she collapsed when Talia, limping across the frozen garden, approached the chapel within the castle grounds.

In that instant, agony swept through his entire body as though his windpipe were being crushed.

His body went rigid as he watched her walk around to the back of the chapel.

Following the path beside the building into the rear garden, Talia eventually stopped before a small headstone at the edge of a clearing. Her unfocused eyes settled upon the grave.

Then Talia crouched down on the frozen ground and slowly caressed the headstone. Watching her in unbearable pain, he soon approached her side.

At last, his figure appeared in those dazed eyes that seemed to be wandering through a dream. Talia stared blankly at him with eyes still damp from tears, then parted her dry lips.

“Maybe it was better for this child not to grow up with a mother like me. I’m sure I would have made my child miserable.”

A low whine rumbled from his throat.

He wanted to tell her that wasn’t true. But all he could do was make ridiculous growling sounds.

She murmured as though lamenting to herself.

“I was born crooked and twisted somehow. That must be why the person who gave birth to me, and the person who raised me...... couldn’t love me. I’m sure my child would have come to hate me someday too.”

That’s not true, Talia.

Don’t say that.

He pressed himself tightly against her side and rubbed his face against her neck, which had grown as cold as ice.

It felt as though his heart were being torn apart. He cursed this body that could not even wrap two arms tightly around her and comfort her.

“Varkas would have been much better off marrying Aila too. My sister wouldn’t have taken her anger out on him or tormented him, and she would have given him healthy, beautiful children. It would have been a hundred times better than keeping a useless woman like me by his side.”

The words spilling from her lips seemed to turn into blades that slashed across his entire body.

He wanted to tell her.

Before I met you, I was nothing but a living corpse. If it hadn’t been for you, I would have gone my entire life without feeling anything. I don’t want anyone but you.

He let out a low whine and repeatedly rubbed his face against her cheek. Talia’s hand, which had been hanging limply as though all strength had left her, slowly rose to the back of his neck.

Then her pleading voice rang in his ears.

“Still, still...... you, at least, stay by my side, Khan.”

The tears running down her cheeks dampened his face.

“Even if I’m not good, even if I’m completely useless...... even if I’m difficult, weak, and pathetic.......”

Talia wrapped both arms tightly around him and whispered through trembling breaths.

“You, at least, mustn’t hate me. All right?”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

Never had he wanted human fingers as desperately as he did at that moment. He wanted to cup her frozen cheeks in both hands and wipe away the tears streaming down them.

He wanted a human voice. He wanted to tell her how dazzlingly she shone in this faded world.

You were the only one who gave meaning to my empty life. I realized that far too late.

He raised his head and looked at her face.

She seemed to have fully regained her senses now. Talia quietly looked down at the headstone with deep blue eyes that gleamed clearly even in the darkness, then staggered to her feet.

“Let’s go back inside.”

Then she slowly turned around and began retracing the path they had come. He immediately followed after her. The night wind swept through the dry brush and branches, creating a bleak and desolate melody.

Suddenly, as though drawn by something, she looked back over her shoulder toward the grave.

Then she stepped into the darkness once more.

* * *

Varkas Laedgo Siorcan did not return to Kalmor until the very end of the Season of Rest.

He remained at the castle for about two weeks, taking care of the official duties that had piled up in his absence, then departed for the disputed territory around the beginning of the Season of Water.

Sitting on the windowsill, Talia blankly watched him leave. After a while, she put on her coat and went outside the castle. Since she had frequently gone out with Khan during that time, none of the soldiers tried to stop her.

Accompanied by her guards, Talia passed through the castle gates and headed straight up the hill leading toward Armund Forest.

The snow had already melted from the slope, and fresh green shoots were poking their heads up here and there. From time to time, a cold breeze carrying the scent of cedar and birch swept over them.

Talia climbed to the top of the hill and watched the column of cavalry receding into the distance. Only after their figures had completely vanished among the forest paths did she turn her gaze toward him.

“Shall we walk through the fields together today?”

Talia gently stroked his head and stepped onto the meadow covered in fresh shoots.

Her hair fluttered like golden waves in the wind. He gazed up at her in fascination as he slowly walked beside her, then spotted wildflowers blooming in the field and immediately dashed toward them, carefully biting through their stems.

When he returned to her with a whole bundle of flowers held in his mouth, a faint smile blossomed across her listless face.

“Are those for me?”

Talia bent her knees and accepted the bouquet he had brought her.

“Thank you.”

After playfully fiddling with his ears, Talia resumed walking along the gentle slope.

It was not until sunset that she finally brought him back to the castle.

Then, just as she always did, she washed, finished dinner, opened her diary, and began writing something down.

He watched her pen moving across the page for a while before turning his gaze toward the wildflowers arranged in a glass bottle.

He had picked flowers for her many times by now.

But not a single one of them had ever made its way into her jewelry box.

It seemed that the only things permitted to be kept inside it were those given to her by Varkas Laedgo Siorcan.