Chapter 16 – A Discussion That’s Way Too Intimate.

Lyon was sprawled on the couch, with the laptop open resting on his knees, and with the screen lighting up his face with the conversation with his mother.

Lyon had opened the chat with the idea of reading one message, two messages, something quick, something to check and reply to fast.

But when the window loaded, he realized it was worse than he thought.

Much worse.

The first message from his mother was from the previous morning.

[Mom, 09:14]: Sweetheart, good morning. How are you? Hope you slept well.

[Mom, 09:15]: Quick question. Do you have the tuition for the semester covered? Remember the deadline is next month and I want to know if you need me to help you out or if you can handle it.

And then came the rest.

[Mom, 12:30]: Sweetheart, did you read this?

[Mom, 14:45]: Are you okay? Answer me whenever you can.

[Mom, 17:22]: Lyon, sweetheart, did something happen? It's been several hours now without a reply.

[Mom, 19:10]: I'm starting to worry a little bit. Just send me an "I'm okay" and that's it. Nothing more.

[Mom, 21:33]: Sweetheart, it's almost ten at night. Please, answer me.

[Mom, 23:47]: I'm watching the news. They're talking about a portal that appeared on the highway. You're near that area, right? Please tell me you're okay.

[Mom, 01:05]: Lyon, please.

[Mom, 02:30]: I'm going to try to sleep a little. When you read this, please answer me. Even just one word. I love you.

Lyon stayed staring at the screen in silence.

Total silence.

And inside Lyon's head, after a few seconds, the voice spoke.

"Yikes."

'...'

"Yikes, yikes, yikes."

'...'

"That's bad."

'I know.'

"It's really bad."

'I know.'

"That's up there with the most screwed-up things I've seen in your life, and today I saw some really screwed-up things."

'Shut up.'

"Ten unanswered messages. And the last one at two-thirty in the morning. And her saying 'even just one word.' Lyon, human. That woman didn't sleep."

'I know.'

"That woman is thinking right this moment that you're dead on the highway."

'I KNOW.'

"I'm just commenting on it for you."

'You're commenting too much.'

"It's just that there's a lot to comment on."

Lyon clenched his teeth and clicked his tongue. He answered her out loud, looking at the ceiling, with an expression of genuine annoyance.

"You're more annoying than usual today, you know that?"

Silence.

Inside Lyon's head, the voice took a deep breath, dramatically. It was such a long breath, so loaded, so full of theater, that Lyon felt his own chest reflexively adjust the air inside.

"Ouch."

'Don't start.'

"Ouch, that hurts."

'Shut up.'

"That hurts a lot, my human. I've always been this way, you know? I've always had this same tone, but today, of all days, you tell me I'm annoying. Maybe YOU are sensitive today? Maybe what's annoying you isn't me but that you're having a bad day?"

'Don't talk nonsense.'

"I'm just commenting."

'Don't talk nonsense and stay out of it. I'm trying to think about what to write.'

"Oh."

'What?'

"A drama queen. You're a drama queen."

'...'

"But it's fine. It's fine, my human. I'm staying out of it. I'm here, attentive, sitting quietly, in case you need something. Silent as the grave."

'Thanks.'

"You're welcome."

Lyon looked at the screen again and started to type.

[Mom, I'm okay. Sorry I didn't—]

Lyon deleted everything.

Started again.

[Hi Mom, sorry I didn't answer you, it's just that—]

Deleted everything again.

And again.

[Mom, look, what happened is that I was—]

Deleted.

[I'm okay, don't worry, it's that yesterday—]

Deleted.

[Yeah, I saw the news about the portal, but I—]

Deleted.

Lyon stayed staring at the cursor blinking at the start of the blank line. It blinked several times and inside Lyon's head, a small, contained, badly disguised laugh could be heard.

Pfft.

'...'

Pff.

'...'

Pfff... haha.

'Hey.'

"Yes, my human?"

'You said you were going to stay out of it.'

"And I'm staying out of it."

'You're laughing!'

"No, no, my human. I'm not talking and I'm not commenting. I'm just laughing. It's different. Laughing is not talking. It's an involuntary biological reaction."

'It's the same thing!'

"It's not the same. It's totally different."

'You're breaking the agreement!'

"There's no agreement, my human. I said I was going to stay out of it, and I'm at the edge. I'm at the edge laughing. It's an expressive edge. It's a participatory edge."

'IT'S THE SAME EDGE AS BEFORE!'

"Pfff."

Lyon slammed the laptop shut, without finishing the message.

Plaf.

He let himself fall with his arm splayed back against the couch, his head resting against the cushion, his gaze glued to the white ceiling of the apartment.

Silence.

Real silence, this time.

Lyon breathed deeply.

'Hey.'

"Yes?"

'Serious question.'

"Talk."

'Is there any way for you and me to be separated?'

Silence.

A different silence from before.

The voice took a few seconds to answer. And when she answered, her tone had lost almost all of its teasing shine.

"Oh, my human..."

'It's not personal.'

"Oh."

'Really, it's not. It's not that I hate you. It's not that I want to hurt you. It's just that—'

"Oh, my human."

'—it's tiring.'

Silence.

'It's tiring, you know? It's tiring to have a voice in my head that reacts to everything I do. Everything. Every single thing. Every thought. Every decision. Every moment of the day. I open the refrigerator and you comment. I write a message and you comment. I look at myself in the mirror and you comment. I fight with a monster and you comment. I think of something and I haven't even finished thinking it and you're already commenting. There's never any silence. Never. Not even when I sleep.'

Silence.

'It's tiring.'

Silence.

'That's all.'

And for a second, the voice didn't say anything.

And then she spoke. Her tone was halfway between amused and hurt, as if she didn't quite know what expression to put on.

"Well."

'Well, what?'

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you. That hurt a little bit. Just a little bit. Nothing serious. But it hurt."

'I didn't say it to hurt you.'

"I know, I know."

'Really.'

"Yeah, yeah. I believe you. It's just that the truth hurts sometimes. It's a human thing, I think. I'm not used to it."

Silence.

"But to answer your question, my human..."

'Yes?'

"No."

'No?'

"No. There is no way."

'...'

"Our existences are joined. Literally and physically. It's a blood bond. It's a soul bond. It's a bond that can't be undone with any ritual, or any magic, or any agreement. I am inside you. I'm as deep inside you as your own heart. And all your powers, my human, all of them, each one, exist because I am inside you."

"The strength. The speed. The reflexes. The regeneration. The wings. The blood magic. The transformation into a bat. All of that is because I am inside. Without me, you're a random college student with a mediocre GPA and an obsession with video games."

'...'

"You get it?"

'I get it.'

"Then think it through, my human. Think it through before you say things like that."

Lyon breathed deeply. And answered, out loud, with a calm that was a little scary.

"I don't want that anymore."

Silence.

"...Excuse me?"

"I don't want that anymore," Lyon repeated, without lowering his voice. "I don't want the powers anymore. I don't want the strength or the wings or the transformations or the magic or any of it."

"...Are you being serious?"

"Very serious."

"Lyon, sweetheart, do you know what you're giving up? Let's make a list. Yes? Let's enumerate in order."

'You don't need to enumerate.'

"One. The strength. Superhuman strength that lets you kill a twelve-meter worm with your fists. Two. The speed. Speed that lets you dodge rubber bullets in the air. Three. The reflexes. Reflexes that let you react before most humans. Four. The regeneration. You can shred your hand against a wolf and three seconds later be fine. Five. The transformation. You can fly. You can fly, Lyon. You can be a tiny bat or you can pop out two giant wings in your female form and rise into the sky whenever you want. Six. The blood magic. You can shoot daggers, make barriers, create explosions—"

'You don't need to enumerate.'

"—seven, night vision. Eight, superhuman hearing. Nine—"

'I just want a normal life.'

Silence.

Very dense silence.

And the voice answered, and for the first time all day, her tone wasn't amused, or affectionate, or teasing. It was something else.

She was angry.

"Your normal life?" the voice asked.

'Yes.'

"Your normal life?"

'Yes.'

"Your normal life, sweetheart, is waking up with a headache because you slept four hours. It's getting up at seven in the morning and dragging yourself to the university on the bus. It's sitting in a classroom with twenty other people who also don't want to be there. It's putting up with a mediocre professor who doesn't care about what he's teaching and with idiot classmates who didn't even read the introduction of the book. It's doing group projects with people who are going to copy off yours. It's eating spaghetti with tomato sauce because you don't have money for anything else. It's getting home tired, playing for four hours, sleeping five, and doing all of that again. Day after day. Week after week. Semester after semester. No change. No surprise. Nothing."

'...'

"That's your normal life, human?"

'Yes.'

"That's the life you prefer to having vampire powers, to being able to fly, to being able to save people, to having unlimited potential?"

'Yes.'

Silence.

And then the voice exploded.

"UNGRATEFUL!"

'Hey—'

"UNGRATEFUL! UNGRATEFUL! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL BRAT!"

'Don't yell at me.'

"I'M GOING TO YELL WHATEVER I WANT AT YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE! THERE ARE REAL VAMPIRES, VAMPIRES BORN AS VAMPIRES, WHO WOULD KILL TO HAVE THE POWERS YOU HAVE, AND YOU LOOK DOWN ON THEM BECAUSE THEY INTERRUPT YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAME SESSION!"

'It's not stupid!'

"YES IT IS STUPID!"

'It doesn't interrupt my game session! It's deeper than that!'

"IT'S NOT DEEPER! IT'S EXACTLY THAT!"

Lyon clenched his teeth and sat up straight on the couch, answered her, with a low but firm voice, but tired.

"You showed up because of that old lady."

Silence.

An abrupt silence.

"...Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"...What did you just call my mother?"

"Old lady."

"...Lyon."

"Old lady. Old lady, old lady, old lady. That old lady is the one who got me into all of this without asking me. That old lady is the one who decided on her own to turn me into an heir to the throne. That old lady is the one who put you inside me without my permission. That old lady—"

And Lyon didn't get to finish the sentence because his right hand moved on its own without his control, closing into a fist halfway there and then opening its fingers again, with all five extended toward his own neck.

'WHAT?!'

The five fingers closed around his throat and squeezed.

Lyon stopped breathing all at once.

The air was cut off mid-inhale, the trachea pressed against the palm of his own hand, and he felt how his own fingers were sinking against his neck with an overwhelming force.

It was the vampire strength in his own hand.

'NO!'

Lyon reacted with the other hand. He yanked the left one up, grabbed the right wrist, and tried to pull it away from his neck.

The two arms started to struggle, each one with the strength of a different person, one wanting to squeeze harder, the other wanting to let go.

'You... didn't... have my... permission... to control... my body!'

Inside Lyon's head, the voice answered in a tone that was no longer teasing or hurt or affectionate.

It was another tone.

A cold tone.

A tone Lyon had never heard before.

"And why would I ask you for permission?"

'...'

"Tell me, human. Honestly."

GRK!

The fingers squeezed harder.

"Why would I ask you for permission when you just told me you want to get rid of me?"

'I don't want to get rid of you!'

"Yes you do."

'No!'

"Yes. You just said it. In those words. 'I don't want that anymore.' You said it. Straight out of your mouth. And now you're surprised that I don't obey. Oh, Lyon. If you want to dispose of me, why would I let you move the body as you please? I have a right to defend myself too. And I would much, much, MUCH rather make both of us die, here, now, on this couch, than give you the chance to even start trying to get me out."

GRK!

Tighter.

Lyon felt the dizziness start in his temples, that white thing at the edges of his vision that appears when the brain is running out of oxygen. His eyes started to water a little by reflex, not by emotion.

The tendons in his neck creaked.

With an enormous effort, Lyon pulled the right hand with the left. He twisted the wrist. He slipped his thumb between the fingers of the vampiric hand, applied leverage, and pried the fingers open one by one until the hand released his neck.

Gah.

The air came back.

Lyon breathed deep, breathed desperately, with his throat burning and his vision still a little blurry.

The right hand, still out of his control, stayed floating in the air, with all five fingers open, as if waiting for the next order from the voice.

"I don't want to get rid of you!" Lyon said out loud, his voice hoarse. "That's not it!"

"Oh, no?"

"NO!"

"And what is it, then?"

Lyon breathed and swallowed. He felt his neck throbbing on the inside, with the mark of his own fingers burning on his skin.

"I just... I just wanted... each of us... to go our separate ways. That's all. That you'd have yours. That I'd have mine. It's not that I want... to make you disappear. Or kill you. Or anything like that. It's just that... I wanted... each of us to be able to... just be."

Silence.

And the voice, in the same cold tone she had used before, answered.

"No."

'...'

"I'm not going to let that happen. Ever."

'But—'

"Ever, Lyon."

And Lyon felt, from one second to the next, his legs move.

It was a strange sensation. Like when you think you're falling asleep and suddenly something pulls you backwards.

Except in this case, something pulled his legs forward.

Both knees bent. Both feet planted against the floor. And Lyon, without wanting to, without ordering it, stood up.

'...What?'

His legs took a step.

'Hey.'

Another step.

'Hey, stop.'

Another.

His legs walked across the apartment living room, crossing the rug, dodging the coffee table by reflex. They were going in a straight line toward the back of the room. Toward the curtains of the sliding glass door. Toward the balcony that Lyon almost never opened.

Toward the empty air of the fifteenth floor.

Lyon looked at the balcony.

Looked at the railing.

Looked at the city on the other side of the glass, still dark, with the yellow lights of the streetlamps glowing fifteen floors below.

And he felt, with absolute clarity, that his legs kept walking in that direction with a calm determination.

'...No.'

Silence.

'No, no, no. No, no. NO.'

And inside his head, the voice answered, in a calm voice, almost affectionate again.

"See, my human? I already told you."

Another step.

"I'd rather make both of us die."

Another step.

"Than let you go."

There are already 3 advanced chapters of this novel available on Patreon!

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And that number will keep growing thanks to the ongoing chapter marathon!

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So, if you’d like to read what happens next before everyone else, the advanced chapters are available right now. B)