Chapter 29 – A Romantic Investigation

Cya's room was enormous.

It wasn't a room.

It was an apartment disguised as a hotel room.

It had a spacious living area with a long couch, a low glass table, an enormous screen on the wall, a small dining area on the other side, floor-to-ceiling windows that took up almost an entire wall and a view of the city so high up that Lyon preferred not to look for too long.

Because, apparently, even when she was inside a hotel, Cya still lived like someone who could order a national evacuation just by picking up the phone.

Lyon was sitting on the couch.

Alone.

Very alone.

Way too alone.

Cya, on the other hand, was sitting on a chair from the dining set, fairly far away from him, with her phone in her hand and an expression so serious that anyone would have thought she was reviewing classified information about a continental threat.

But no.

She wasn't reviewing classified information.

She was searching the internet.

And the search was much worse.

[Is it normal to want to be near someone you just met all the time?]

Cya looked at the results with her brow just slightly furrowed.

There were too many answers.

Some pages said it was normal. That first love could feel intense. That some people got a little obsessive at the beginning because everything was new, exciting, clumsy and confusing.

Other pages were less kind.

[If you feel like you need to control a person you just met, you might have obsessive traits.]

Cya blinked, nervous.

[Wanting to isolate someone from other possible romantic interests can be a worrying sign.]

Cya went completely still.

[Feeling extreme jealousy without a formal relationship can border on unhealthy behavior.]

Cya slowly lowered her gaze toward her own hands.

'…Unhealthy...'

She did not like that word, not at all. She was not an unhealthy person. She was a normal girl.

Cya sat there thinking.

Normal in certain aspects.

Responsible, at least. She was also hardworking, efficient, dedicated…

A guild leader capable of coordinating operations, negotiating contracts, managing hunter teams, reviewing portal reports and staying awake through absurd shifts without making serious mistakes.

That was normal. Or normal enough. But then she scrolled a little further down the page, and found a new term...

[Yandere.]

Cya stayed looking at the word.

"…Yandere?" she murmured.

Lyon, from the couch, turned his head a bit.

"Did you say something?"

"No," Cya answered immediately.

Lyon looked at her for a few seconds. Then he went back to trying to set up the TV screen.

Cya, meanwhile, opened another link.

And another.

And another.

Within minutes she had fallen into a web of forums, debates, comments, old posts, threads of people recounting personal experiences and other threads where clearly nobody should have had internet access without adult supervision.

Some people said girls like that were adorable.

Others said they were dangerous.

Others said it was only fun in fiction and that in real life you had to run.

Cya read that last one twice. Then a third time.

'Run?'

She didn't like it.

She didn't like it because, immediately, her mind produced an image of Lyon getting up from the couch, saying he had to go, walking out the door and moving away from her.

Cya's chest tightened and her fingers closed around the phone.

'No…'

Cya blinked. Then she looked at her fingers.

'No!'

That thought had been too fast, and too strong, but above all… possessive.

Cya looked at the screen again.

[Frequent characteristics of a yandere character: extreme attachment, intense jealousy, desire to monopolize the loved one, violent behavior toward rivals, loss of emotional control.]

Cya read the list slowly…

Extreme attachment.

She thought about how she wanted Lyon to live in the hotel.

Intense jealousy.

She thought about the possibility of another girl smelling Lyon.

Desire to monopolize.

She thought about how much it bothered her to imagine him with someone else.

Violent behavior toward rivals.

She thought about the store employee. Then about her driver.

Loss of emotional control.

She thought about the car.

Cya set the phone down on the table slowly.

'…'

Cya stayed looking at the darkened screen of the device, where her own reflection was barely visible in the black glass.

The face of a serious girl.

The face of a guild leader.

The face of a person who had just discovered, with the help of forums written by strangers, that maybe she had a problem.

'This is ridiculous.'

Yes.

Ridiculous.

Absurd.

The internet was not a completely reliable source.

Any idiot could write anything on a forum.

Cya knew that.

But even so…

The list matched too well. And that scared her. Not in a normal way.

It wasn't fear of a monster.

It wasn't fear of a portal.

It wasn't fear of a failed operation.

It was a more intimate fear.

A more irritating one.

The fear of discovering that maybe she wasn't as rational as she believed.

That maybe there was a part of herself she didn't know.

A vulgar, violent and impulsive part. A part that had been asleep until Lyon showed up in his apartment with his badly cut hair, his empty refrigerator and that impossible-to-explain scent.

Cya picked up the phone again. There were unread messages. Many. One from her guild. Another from an investigator. Several more from contacts related to yesterday's incident. There was also a missed call.

Cya looked at them and ignored them. Not out of irresponsibility. Not because they weren't important. But because, at that moment, for Cya, there was a bigger priority.

She had to find out whether she was a danger to an innocent person.

That innocent person was sitting on the couch in her room, trying to decide what movie to put on.

So yes.

It was an important investigation, a matter of life and death.

Even if at that very instant the Night Watcher appeared at the door of her room, almost naked again, doing a mocking dance and shouting out her complete address…

Cya would probably ignore her. Because right now the most important question wasn't where the Night Watcher was.

The most important question was:

'Am I a yandere?'

Cya searched again.

[First love normal intensity.]

[How to know if I'm obsessed?]

[Is it normal to want to repeat intimacy with someone many times?]

The last search made her blush a little, but she did it anyway… and the results didn't help.

Some people said first love was intense, wild, hot and very confusing.

That you could feel like you had lost your mind.

That it was normal to want to see that person again, touch them again, hear their voice again.

That calmed her down a little.

Then she found another answer saying:

[If you feel like you could hurt others to keep that person, it isn't intense love. Seek help.]

Cya went still.

'Ah.'

That did not calm her down at all.

Because she had, in fact, thought about hurting someone.

Not a monster.

Not a criminal.

Not a threat.

An employee, her driver.

Cya slowly lowered the phone to the table. Her eyes moved toward Lyon.

He still had his back to her, sitting on the couch, using the remote with an almost sad concentration.

The screen showed several movies.

Lyon seemed to be trying to act normal, and Cya understood. After what had happened in the car, anyone would try to act normal.

She was also trying to act normal, which was why she was sitting far away, at a prudent distance. A distance that demonstrated that she could control herself.

A distance that allowed her to observe Lyon without going near his neck to confirm again whether he still smelled as good as she remembered.

Cya closed her eyes.

The memory came back.

The heat of the car.

Lyon's breathing. His hands. The sound of the leather. His embarrassed voice. The way he had hugged her to keep her from hurting the driver.

Cya opened her eyes suddenly and her heart started beating faster.

'No.'

She shouldn't think about that. Because if she thought about that, she wanted to repeat it.

Once.

Again.

And again.

And again.

For the rest of her life.

Cya furrowed her brow.

'But that isn't logical.'

It wasn't.

Repeating it nonstop was unfeasible.

The human body needed water, food, rest, sleep and hygiene.

Cya started doing calculations without meaning to.

If a person maintained intense physical activity for too many hours, they could suffer exhaustion, dehydration, cramps, loss of performance, muscle injuries and, depending on the case, cardiovascular problems.

Besides, Lyon was a student.

He had classes.

Probably homework.

And, for some incomprehensible reason, video games...

He couldn't stay with her forever.

Not in a practical sense.

Cya lowered her gaze.

'Why do I want that?'

Cya had no answer.

That was the worst part. There was no clear answer. Not scientific. Not logical. Not emotionally comfortable.

There was only Lyon, and his scent, and the absurd desire to be at his side!

"Lyon…" she said without realizing it.

He turned his head.

"Yes?"

Cya looked at him.

She had nothing to say.

Absolutely nothing.

She had said his name because she wanted to hear him answer.

That was all.

The realization landed on her like a stone.

'…This is serious.'

Lyon waited a few seconds.

"Cya?"

She blinked.

"It was nothing."

Lyon looked at her with an eyebrow just barely raised.

"Okay…"

Lyon looked back at the screen, though he clearly wasn't convinced. Cya stayed very still.

'I just called out to him for no reason.'

That was also in one of the forums.

[Constantly seeking a person's attention can be a sign of anxious attachment.]

Cya took in air, slowly.

'I need better data...'

Yes. That was it. She couldn't base this on forums.

She needed reliable data.

Real research.

Samples.

Comparisons.

Controlled observation.

But the mere idea of another woman comparing anything related to Lyon made her fingers tense up again.

'No.'

She would not use another woman.

She would have to think of another method. Cleaner. Safer.

"Lyon," she said again.

Lyon turned around again.

"Yes?"

Cya froze.

She had done it again.

'…'

Lyon looked at her.

She looked at him.

There was a silence.

"Was it something this time?" he asked.

Cya took a second to answer.

"Yes."

"Ah. Good. What is it?"

Cya looked at the enormous TV screen. Then at the remote in Lyon's hand. Then she remembered that, technically, they had come to watch a movie.

"What are we going to watch?" Cya asked.

Lyon looked at her for a few seconds. Then he raised the remote.

"That's what I was going to ask you. What movie do you want me to put on?"

"Something with action would be fine."

"Action?"

"Yes."

"Perfect."

Lyon started moving through the catalog with more ease.

Cya set the phone on the table, though she didn't fully lock it. The screen was still showing a forum whose title said:

[Yandere or just in love? Help.]

Cya turned the phone face down. She didn't want Lyon to see it. Lyon kept scrolling through options until he suddenly stopped.

"Wait."

Cya looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"No way."

"What is it?"

Lyon leaned forward, looking at the screen with genuine surprise.

"They already made a movie of this?"

Cya looked at the cover. There was a young boy in the center, surrounded by fire, water, rocks and wind.

"Do you know it?"

"I know the series," Lyon answered, still surprised. "I used to watch it when I was a kid. It was about a boy who had to master the four elements to defeat an evil guy who wanted to destroy everything."

Cya processed the description.

"Why would anyone want to destroy everything?"

Lyon looked at her.

"That's your first question?"

"Yes."

"You don't ask about the four elements, or the kid, or the movie. You ask about the villain's geopolitical motivation."

"It's the most important part."

Lyon let out a small laugh.

"Well… if I remember right, the guy wanted his nation to rule over all the others."

Cya frowned slightly.

"That's inefficient."

Lyon blinked.

"What?"

"Eliminating too many people is complicated," Cya explained, in the tone of someone analyzing a cost report. "Even if he manages to conquer territories by force, it would generate hostile survivors. People who lost family, home, resources and stability. Those people would have clear motives to organize resistance, sabotage or revenge."

Lyon slowly lowered the remote.

"…Uh-huh."

"A better route would be to conquer them through economic dependency," Cya continued. "Trade, loans, infrastructure, security treaties, the supply of goods that later become necessary. A person you give things they value will think twice before attacking you. A person you've taken everything from has nothing to lose."

Lyon stayed looking at her. Cya looked at him too.

Silence.

The voice inside Lyon's head spoke slowly.

"It pains me to admit it, but she has a point."

'Of course economic conquest sounds reasonable to you.'

"It's elegant."

'It's terrifying.'

Lyon looked at Cya with a mix of being impressed and being worried.

"That was… way too specific."

Cya tilted her head a little.

"Was it?"

"Yes."

"It was only a basic analysis."

"Sure. Basic. Very basic. Conquest through debt and commercial dependency. The typical thing to talk about before a kids' movie."

Cya blinked.

"You asked."

"No, I didn't ask. I just explained the plot."

"Ah."

Lyon set the remote on the couch. Then, not knowing whether he should or not, he asked:

"Is that what you were trying to do with me?"

Cya went still.

The question hit her harder than she expected.

"What?"

"The whole giving-things-so-the-other-person-thinks-twice-before-attacking-you thing," said Lyon, trying to sound half joking, though his voice didn't fully pull it off. "The phone. The food. The clothes. Offering me to live here. Your driver. The job."

Cya opened her eyes a little wider.

"No."

Lyon went quiet.

"No," she repeated, faster.

And then the phone slipped out of her hand.

Tak.

It fell onto the dining table, but Cya didn't pay any attention to it. She got up from the chair almost abruptly.

"That isn't it."

Lyon looked at her, surprised by the reaction.

"Cya, it was a question."

"I am not trying to conquer you through economic dependency."

"Okay."

"I am not trying to put you in debt."

"Fine."

"I am not trying to manipulate you through gifts."

"Alright, alright, I believe you."

Cya took a step toward him. Then she stopped. She forced herself to stop.

Prudent distance.

She needed prudent distance.

But now the problem wasn't the scent.

It was the embarrassment.

A strange, hot, uncomfortable embarrassment, that was rising up her neck.

Cya wasn't used to that.

She wasn't used to worrying so much about how someone interpreted her intentions.

Normally, if someone misunderstood her, she corrected the information and that was it. If they didn't understand her after that, it was their problem.

But not with Lyon.

She didn't want Lyon to think she was trying to trap him with money. She didn't want him to think she saw him as a resource. She didn't want him to think everything she did was a strategy.

Because it wasn't.

And that was exactly what confused her.

"I…" Cya started.

She fell silent. Lyon watched her from the couch.

He didn't make fun of her.

He didn't pressure her.

He just waited.

That made her even more nervous.

Cya clenched her hands a little.

She remembered the forums. She remembered the answers. She remembered the words she had read over and over.

First love.

Romantic interest.

Attraction.

Attachment.

Yandere.

Cya decided to ignore that last word for now.

It wasn't useful.

The useful part was the other one.

The part that could explain, at least a little, why she felt this way.

Cya breathed in deep.

"I offered you a job because you said you were a designer…" she said at first, trying to organize the sentence. "And because I thought I could help you..."

"Uh-huh."

"I bought you a phone because you had no way to communicate."

"Yes."

"I invited you to eat because you hadn't eaten."

"That too."

"I bought you clothes because your clothes ended up in bad shape because of me..."

Lyon coughed and looked away.

"Yeah, well… that happened."

Cya felt her cheeks burning more.

"But I didn't do it to put you in debt."

Lyon looked at her again.

"Then why?"

Cya opened her mouth.

Nothing came out.

This was the hard part.

Too hard.

Because saying it out loud made it become real.

And if it became real, she could no longer hide behind words like "compensation," "work," "investigation" or "security."

But she did have to do that so that he wouldn't misunderstand her…

Cya lowered her gaze a little, and swallowed. Then she raised it again.

"Because I'm interested in you."