Chapter 148: It’s The Goddess’s Fault

Lucian’s POV

"Are you walking out on us?" one of the elders asked.

"I can’t do this with you. I can’t," I said, keeping my voice as steady as I could manage. I wasn’t trying to disrespect them ... but I was running out of ways to say what I needed to say without losing myself completely.

"We have to do what’s best for the territory, and that’s exactly what we’re doing, Lucian. You have to get married again," he pressed.

"I’m sorry. I can’t. Even if you gave me the whole world, I still couldn’t be with anyone other than Selene," I said.

They had contributed to losing her. If they had given me the chance to make her mine when I’d wanted to, William would never have had the audacity to come and claim my Luna. But she had been free ... unmated ... and that was the opening he had exploited.

"Are you still acting in the best interest of the people, or has your mantra changed?" another elder asked.

They were trying to snare me with my own words. Words I had spoken before all of this happened.

"What are you trying to do, elders?" I asked. "You people have never cared about me ... only yourselves. Allow me to grieve in peace. Please." I wasn’t just talking at that point. I was lamenting.

"The vacuum that has been created has to be filled. And if it isn’t filled quickly, the people will stop revering the seat and office of the Alpha the way they should," the elder said.

What exactly were they implying? The people had feared and reverenced me long before any she-wolf entered the picture.

I had to accept it then ... I was simply unfortunate in love. Nothing could fill the real vacuum because it lived inside my soul. The goddess didn’t want love to occupy that place. And from that moment forward, for an indefinite season, I would keep carrying this ... because I didn’t want war, and I was helpless for the first time in my life. Helpless because I couldn’t get my Luna back. My mate. My love.

But I hadn’t given up completely. I still believed there was a chance. The same way I hadn’t known how I’d fallen in love with the very one I had taken as a breeder ... that same inexplicable force would bring her back to me. I believed it with everything I had.

That was why I refused to settle for less. Not because I was looking down on anyone ... but anyone who wasn’t Selene was automatically less to me. That wasn’t arrogance. That was just what she had done to me.

These elders wouldn’t understand it. They couldn’t fathom what I felt or why I felt it.

I believed that loving her wasn’t even the greatest miracle that had happened to me. She herself was the greatest miracle I had ever experienced. The way she had tamed a beast like me and turned me into someone permanently bound to her ... that was something no elder’s council could legislate away.

For now, my reach was long but my hands came up short. Yet I stayed optimistic.

Every kiss we had shared. Every night we had shared the same sheets. I knew. Nothing would ever change the fact that she was singular.

"I hate to say it, Alpha, but this is one of those cases where you don’t have a choice," the elder said.

"Then come force the Luna on me," I said, tears burning at the back of my eyes. "I’m waiting."

That was how the meeting ended.

---

I went up to my room and lay down on the floor. The more I thought about everything, the more it crushed me. What could possibly mend a heart broken this completely?

I was lying face down, and I could actually feel the damp that my tears had already pressed into the floor rug.

"I won’t be able to move on," I said to no one. It was too much to carry.

You never know the value of what you have until it’s gone. I hadn’t asked to lose Selene. The goddess had stripped her from me.

I got up.

I looked around the room and everything seemed like a potential weapon. The glass of fruit wine that had been brought to me the night before was still sitting on the side table ... barely half a glass drunk from the whole bottle.

I picked it up and stared at it for a long moment.

There was no sweetness left in my life. So what was the point?

What came next was a loud, satisfying shatter as I hurled the bottle against the wall.

My blood was boiling. Maybe the goddess was punishing me for my past sins. I knew I had sinned. I had fallen short. But everything I had done, I had done in the interest of the people ... exactly as was expected of me.

I picked up a piece of the shattered glass and held it in my hand. I pressed it to my skin.

I had had enough. Enough. I wanted to feel something other than this grief ... or feel nothing at all. I hadn’t known until that very day that a broken heart could outrun physical pain entirely.

Then a knock came at the door.

The piece of glass slipped from my fingers.

"Whoever you are ... leave. I can’t see anyone right now," I called out.

The knocking didn’t stop.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"It’s me. Valerie," she said.

A woman. Damn.

I didn’t have the time or the energy to clean up. There was nothing worth hiding anymore. I opened the door.

Valerie. She had said her name was Valerie. I recognised her as one of my breeders ... I could remember having fucked her a few times. I hadn’t even known her name before this moment. I hadn’t bothered to.

That was who I had been then.

And now here I was ... broken, bleeding, barely standing ... looking at her and asking, "What do you want? You interrupted something."

"I have a message," she said. "From Selene."

My eyes went wide. It was like something had been lifted off me all at once.

"Come in. Come in," I said immediately, stepping aside.

"Selene has something to tell you, Alpha," she said, stepping into the room ... and then she stopped. Her eyes found my face. Then the floor.

"You’re bleeding, Alpha. Oh my ... why are there pieces of glass everywhere?" she asked.

I checked myself. I hadn’t realised how much the blood had spread. I didn’t particularly care either.

"Tell me what Selene said," I said sharply.

She flinched. I could see her beginning to fret.