Book 2 Chapter 34: Preparations

Emilios

June 23, 1787, Realm Calendar, Esztergom, Transdanubian co-protectorate

Hands behind his back, Emilios walked back and forth along the long table set in the middle of the dining hall. Twelve men and women, dressed in white, were following him with their eyes, trembling with fear.

"Too salty," he said, blandly, after stopping in front of the first man and tasting from the soup on the table. "Mend it with lemon."

"Yes, milord," the man bowed his head.

"There are no milords here, only chefs," Emilios said. "Not bad, though. I'll give it a thought."

"Thank you, m— chef Emilios."

"Disgusting," he snapped at the next man, a Tatar. "Sheep meat does not belong in a Sachertorte."

"Are you insulting me?" the man moved his hand toward a kitchen knife, but Emilios slapped it with a wooden spoon.

"If you're not able to accept critique, go back to cook for the Sultan."

"I'm sorry," the Tatar said, lowering his eyes. "I tried fusion."

"Hmpf," Emilios snorted. "That requires either luck or years of study. However, your lamb stew was divine. That's a go."

"Thank you, chef!" the man said cheerfully.

"Let me try this," Emilios said, moving to the next plate and taking a bite. "Really good. That's how fusion cuisine should taste," he said, staring at the Tatar. "The best part of two worlds."

"But he just got lucky!" the man complained.

"Yes, that's the point. Luck is about trying something different until it works. You're all about lamb. Boring, boring, boring, boring," Emilios smirked as he passed by four other men.

"But you're not even tasting, chef," one of them protested.

"I have two eyes and a nose. That's enough," Emilios snapped, stopping in front of the first woman. "This," Emilios said, after tasting the moussaka, "is perfection. Comfort food. It's like I'm back in my childhood."

"Thank you, sweetie," the woman, in her sixties, said, grinning.

"Please, mother, no familiarity here," Emilios said. "I don't want the other contestants to think I'm biased."

He could almost feel the frowns of the other chefs, sharp as razors. Before passing to the next plate, the door slammed into the wall, and a bunch of people burst inside, in disorder, shouting and screaming.

The one leading the charge was the Elven king. The man wobbled toward the moussaka, snatching the fork from Emilios' hand, and starting to eat with big mouthfuls. The rest of the incoming horde spread around, taking whatever food was available.

"What are you doing here?" Emilios asked, stepping back instinctively from the surprise.

"Later," Sam said, rushing to the soup and drinking the bowl in one go.

"Ew!" Eliza gagged, spitting the piece of mutton Sachertorte into a napkin. "What the hell is this?"

"Fusion cuisine," the Tatar sneered.

"Fusion with what, shit?"

"Shnot bad," Tristan said, taking the cake from her. "Reminds me of my mother's."

"That explains a lot of things about your tastes," Eliza said, moving to the farthest cook, who had baked a sort of pizza.

"What's going on, guys?" Emilios asked.

"There are things that are better discussed in private," Sam said, looking around at the people in the room.

"Gentlemen and ladies, you're dismissed," Emilios interjected, gesturing toward the chefs.

The cooks took off their aprons and toques, put them away in a wardrobe, whispered among themselves, and peeked obliquely at the newcomers. It took them over five minutes to leave. One remained behind.

"I'll stay," Emilios mother said decisively, crossing her arms. "You're not keeping secrets from your mother, are you?"

"Of course not. And you can give us good advice," the chef said. "I trust you completely."

"Why don't you sit down?" Missis Panaiotis said. "Come, young men, help me bring these tables together."

Besides the long serving table, there were many smaller ones. The room was a sort of posh cantina, maybe not for soldiers but for officers. Esztergom was one of the few cities that survived the Kingling's onslaught, probably because the Vlachs thought it was too close to the Protectorates to risk besieging it. Five minutes later, they were seated around the joined tables, with more food and wine in front of them.

"The wine is very good," Saint-George said.

"It's made on the other side of the river," Emilios said.

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"Where exactly are we?" Sam asked.

"Esztergom."

"Ah, that explains it."

"Explains what?" Eliza asked.

"It's one of the Transdanubian cities we got," Sam said.

"This place is very good for fish and wine; I'm glad we got it," Emilios said.

"We helped liberate it, after all," Tristan said.

"Do you want to rule it?" Sam asked. "We're recruiting. You can move the Company here."

"No, thanks. Caterina and I moved to— never mind."

"And what are you doing in this place, Emilios?" Eliza asked.

"The Austrians and the Turks will sign a treaty here. I'm selecting what to prepare for the feast," Emilios said. "The top local chefs were sent to train with me. None can compare to my mother," he added proudly.

"Thank you, swe—"

"No familiarity. So, what's the reason for your presence, and that of the Elven king?"

"This is not the king; it's his evil twin," Sam said.

"He was the evil twin," Kariperos protested.

"This one impersonated his brother," Dorian explained. "The true king returned and sentenced us to fight in some sort of Hunger Games. We were thrown in prison and ate dried bread for three days before we escaped."

"Poor you! Here, take some moussaka," Emilios' mother offered.

"Kari made a portal in haste and got us in the wrong place," Dorian said.

"On the contrary, this is the best place," Kariperos said. "This mousse… err—"

"Moussaka," the older woman said.

"This moussaka is fantastic. Congratulations, madam. You are the most fantastic cook in the world. After my wife, of course," Kariperos said.

"Of course," Emilios said, rolling his eyes.

"I dunno for you, but I'm happy to be back in the Realm," Tristan said. "It was too close for comfort."

"Sorry… Can I say something?" Jane asked after clinking on a glass with a butter knife.

"What now?" Sam snapped. "Another brilliant deduction?"

"I'm really sorry, boss. I should have checked it with you first."

"Yes, you should have. Go on with the thing you were going to say."

"Actually, there are two things. First… we're missing people."

"Really?" Sam furrowed his brow. "Who?"

"Isolde, Pops, Maverick, the filming crews?" the woman counted on her fingers.

"Dragon, Zappy," Cedric continued.

"Iron Choir and Mozart?" Dorian added.

"Fuck!" Sam facepalmed. "We have to go back… If Kari is comfortable with the idea, of course."

"I'm not a coward," Kariperos snapped. "This was a tactical retreat. I'm ready to return home and mend my mistakes."

"Let's not rush headlong. You did impersonate the king after all," Tristan said.

"My thoughts exactly," Sam said.

"I'm the Queen now, and I'm granting my biological dad a full pardon," Sensibility said.

"Karo was a bad person, and a bad husband," her mother said. "He was absent for years, doing stupid quests, and the economy was declining. Few will miss him."

"Those few could seek revenge, though," Sam said.

"Then what do you propose?" Kariperos asked.

"Go in and out, rapid extraction, only our people, keep the portal on. Don't bother with the movie crews. If they were willing to film death matches, they deserve whatever comes to them," Tristan said.

"I can maintain the portal for maybe five minutes," Kariperos said. "It doesn't matter on which side I am, but it would work better if I go through."

"This could be enough for me to break everybody from prison," Aldric said.

"Great," Tristan said.

"And the guests from Earth? The billionaires? You think Caterina would like it if we leave them behind?" Sam pointed out.

"Ah… Yeah… Better save them too, if possible," Tristan said. "We spread and multitask. Aldric's on our folks, I'll be on the rich people, the rest defend the portal."

"We should do it right now. The more we wait, the greater the chance that something goes wrong. We'll sort the politics later," Sam said.

"There's a slight problem. I have no mana left," Kariperos said. "It will take a couple of hours before I can open a portal."

"Fuck!" Sam banged his fist on the table.

"You're repeating yourself a lot," Tristan said.

"Since we have time… There's a second matter I want to address," Jane raised her hand.

"Go on," Sam said.

"Don't you think all this Colosseum thing is weird? Didn't you notice anything different? Like being more… aggressive? Yearning to fight?"

"I did feel more murderous than usual," Tristan said. "I was tempted to kill Sam in his sleep."

"Hm… You think the Colosseum influences people's minds?" Sam asked. "I didn't feel any different."

"You forgot people behind, remember?" Eliza said. "That's not you. Usually, you're more competent."

"I think the Colosseum is cursed or something," Jane said.

"It's plausible," Sam said. "I don't know about the cinema guys, but on an average day, the game crew would have been horrified to witness death matches. Normal people don't live in Mortal Kombat."

"Is that the thing with the Wizard of Oz?" Tristan whispered to Eliza.

"No, it isn't," she whispered back.

"The high elves are notorious for being crazy," Juniper said. "Maybe it was the Colosseum all along."

"I must protest your accusation," Kariperos said. "Our clan is not mad; we're as reasonable and kind. Your people are the crazy ones. Ego terrorists, as the Earthlings say."

"The detective is right," a deep voice said. Koshchei's head appeared at the window, making Emilio's mother gasp. "There was some Mind Magic at play. There are only two possibilities. The Colosseum could be either an artificial construct with some programmed intelligence in it, or a sentient one, like myself."

"What's the difference?" Emilios asked.

"Artificial constructs are easy to deal with. If they malfunction, you remove the heartstone and replace it with a new one. If the construct is sentient, the situation is more complicated. That thing is very old and must be very powerful."

"To resume, that Colosseum might be bad news," Sam said. "We need more information before we go back. I need two phones. Does any of you still have theirs?"

"I have mine in my storage, but I'm the only one able to use it," Eliza said.

"I have one too," Emilios said.

"Perfect. Koshchei, can you fly?"

"Yes, I have thrusters."

"Good. Take Cedric and Jun to the Elven enclave in Szolnok. That would get them directly into the Forest Elves' territory."

"Good idea. I can ask my mother for advice!" Juniper widened her eyes. "She'll know."

"That's the idea. You take Emilios's phone with you, and call Eliza as soon as you have news. We'll wait for your call before we jump."

"There might be a small problem," Koshchei said.

"Like what?"

"My cruising speed is twenty miles an hour."

"What? That's slow as fuck!" Sam exclaimed.

"Sorry. I got new stats for flying, and they're very low."

"We have a chopper and a pilot on hand," Emilios said. "The pilot has both a radio and a phone."

"Then it's settled," Sam said. "Emilios, please make the necessary arrangements. They should leave as soon as possible."

"Understood," Emilios said, exiting.

"Now, we have to clear something up," Sam said. "I made a mistake, which I apologize for. Tristan, you have more experience with leading groups. Do you want to run the extraction?"

"So far, your plan is sound. And by the way, I'm sorry if… how do you say… I offended you."

"It's fine.'Twas the mind magic," Sam waved his hand magnanimously. "So, who's in to go back?"

Sam looked around. Everyone volunteered, arms raised.

"Max, you better stay here," Sam said. "You're not exactly fighting material."

"I know where they put our gold. It's in a vault under the royal box. Aldric can break into it, and I have a spatial storage specially made for bullion."

"Good point. We'll take the gold back. The protectorates need a lot of cash."

"You're forgetting a small detail," Tristan said. "The people doing the extraction are from my company. If we help get the gold back, we'll apply our extra recovery fee. Half the gold is ours."

"That's preposterous," Sam blurted.

"Take it or leave it."

"Fine," Sam surrendered. "Hurry on with that chopper."