The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism

Chapter 259 | You Won’t Freeze



Chapter 259: 259 | You Won’t Freeze

〘 SIDE QUEST GENERATED 〙

〘 Title: Tag-Team Takedown 〙

〘 Classification: Social / Combat Hybrid 〙

〘 Description: Two of the most capable women in your cohort are currently alone in a building preparing to destroy you. The Scumbag’s Path recognizes opportunity in opposition. Defeat the V-3 team AND find yourself in a compromising position with either Camille Ortega or Petra Lang during or immediately following the exercise. 〙

〘 Primary Objective: Win the H-3 vs V-3 match. 〙

〘 Secondary Objective: End up in physical proximity of a compromising nature with at least one member of the opposing team. 〙

〘 Rewards: 800 SP, Temptation Gauge progression with qualifying heroine(s), 1 Silver Gacha Token 〙

I closed my eyes.

Of course. Of course the System would drop this right now. Not during breakfast when I was eating protein bars in peace. Not during Mercy’s lecture when the worst thing happening was my inability to stop noticing her jawline. No. The System waited until I was standing outside a building containing two women who could individually ruin my day and collectively end my Hero career, and then asked me to defeat them AND end up in a compromising position with one of them.

The Ecchi Logic note at the bottom was the part that made my stomach tighten. Not with fear. With the specific resignation of someone who had learned through repeated experience that when the System said reality will handle the details, reality handled the details in ways that involved fallen clothing, inconvenient body positioning, and the kind of accidental contact that required extensive verbal explanation afterward.

I dismissed the notification and opened my eyes.

Five minutes and forty-one seconds.

"Percy."

"Room 2C remains the highest probability location at—"

"I need you to forget the probability rankings for a second."

Percy’s pen paused. He looked at me with the intensity of someone whose entire operating system had just received an unexpected input.

"If you were Camille Ortega," I said, "and you were stuck in a building with Petra Lang for ten minutes with a job to do, what would happen?"

Percy processed this. I could see it happening behind his eyes, the shift from spatial analysis to behavioral modeling. His mouth moved without sound for two full seconds before words arrived.

"Conflict. Camille’s tactical approach involves controlling space through projectile pressure and positional dominance. Petra’s tactical approach involves controlling space through material generation and environmental restructuring. Both methods require the user to determine the engagement architecture. Neither user has demonstrated willingness to defer to another person’s tactical framework. Um." He paused. "In the entrance exam, Camille operated independently. Petra bypassed the exam entirely. Neither has documented experience in team-based tactical exercises."

"So what does that give us?"

Percy’s eyes went unfocused. The blue in his hair seemed to catch light differently when Analyze was running at full speed, something I’d noticed during drills but never mentioned because mentioning it would have required Percy to acknowledge he was doing something visible and he preferred to pretend his Aspect was subtle.

"Two independently excellent combatants who will establish overlapping but uncoordinated defensive positions," he said. The words arrived faster than his usual cadence. "Camille holds the hallway with Rivet. That’s her optimal engagement distance, maximum line-of-sight, maximum projectile coverage. Petra fortifies the hostage room with Conjuration. That’s her optimal control zone, structural advantage, material generation from secure position." He paused. The pen tapped twice against the notebook. "If they coordinate, those positions complement each other perfectly."

"But they won’t coordinate."

"No. They won’t." Percy’s pen moved. "Which means there’s a seam between the hallway defense and the room defense. The coverage transitions from projectile to structural. That transition has a gap."

"And that gap is where we go."

The pen moved faster. Percy was writing something I couldn’t see from this angle but the rhythm of it suggested math rather than words. Probability calculations or timing windows or whatever Analyze produced when it was processing tactical patterns at speed.

"The seam exists for approximately three to four seconds during any transition from hallway approach to room entry," Percy said without looking up. "During that window, Camille’s rivets lose line-of-sight as we move through the doorframe. Petra’s constructs need to reposition from defensive barrier to active engagement." He looked up. His eyes were clearer than they’d been since we entered the staging area. "Three to four seconds isn’t much."

"It’s enough if we move fast and you tell me when to move."

"How will I know when the seam opens?"

"Because you’ll see it." I held his gaze. "That’s what Analyze does. You process tactical patterns faster than anyone in our cohort. You see what people are going to do before they finish deciding to do it. The information is already there, Percy. The only thing missing is someone who listens when you say it."

Percy held my gaze. The timer read four minutes and eight seconds. A breeze carried the smell of concrete and ozone from Ground Beta’s training infrastructure. Somewhere on the second floor of the building ahead of us, Camille Ortega was probably telling Petra Lang that hallway defense was obviously more important than room fortification and Petra was probably explaining that structural control superseded projectile coverage and neither of them was probably listening to the other one.

The notebook closed.

"You’re asking me to call the shots."

"I’m asking you to call the timing. I’ll handle the shots."

Percy’s hand stopped trembling. He looked at the notebook one more time, then closed it and tucked it into the pocket on his leg with deliberate care. When he looked back at me, the anxiety was still there in the tight set of his jaw and the way his left foot shifted weight every three seconds, but underneath it was something else. Something that had been building since the first day I walked the route with him and told him that knowing all the exits was smart instead of weird.

"Okay. I’ll call the timing." His voice came out cleaner than I’d heard it in days. "But I need you to actually listen when I say move. Not three seconds later. Not after you’ve decided whether my analysis is correct. Immediately."

"Deal."

"And if I freeze—"

"You won’t freeze."


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