Chapter 2389 Forever Admiring You, Flora Hastings

Dear Arthur:

When I pick up the pen, my palms are cold, and my vision is blurry.

I understand my identity, as a lady of nobility, society demands that I maintain composure and grace, yet it seldom allows me to show my true self.

I thought I could face everything bravely, that I could hide my weakness from anyone, that I could stand alone in any predicament.

I often fantasize about being like you, even if standing in the center of a storm, still able to face challenges and pressures fearlessly and decisively, even if it means abandoning all feelings and weaknesses.

However, I must admit, I am not as fearless as you.

After all, I am a woman, rumors, even the most trivial glances and words, deeply wound me.

The vulnerability I dare not face has long since turned into silent tears, entwined around my heart.

A few months ago, when my health wasn’t so poor, I accompanied the Duchess to an exhibition at the Royal Academy of Arts.

I saw a painting, a work by Mr. William Turner—"Rain, Police, and the Tower of London—Arthur Hastings’s 1832."

Arthur, do you still remember 1832?

On June 5th, I was terrified that night.

The city was ablaze with fire, shouts, and screams, as if chaos had swallowed the entire city.

Many people doubted if they would ever see daylight again, and I was among them.

I sat by the window sleepless all night, praying to God, hoping He would bless everyone with safety, but the gunshots intermittently piercing the night made me realize how insignificant my prayers were.

Had it not been for learning from others years later what you did that night, I wouldn’t know how much you bore for us, for this country and nation.

Had it not been for an accidental chat with Mr. Carter, I wouldn’t know that Mr. Tennyson’s "In Memoriam" was created to commemorate you.

That night, you might have been just a step away from Death, perhaps your throat could already feel the warmth of his scythe.

At that time, I stood in a distant corner, unable to help anyone, even unable to control the fear in my heart. I just wanted to escape, close my eyes and not see any of it, imagining it was just a nightmare. But you, at that moment, like a lighthouse, lit a way home for countless lost souls.

I never expressed my admiration and respect for you, but...

Arthur, you are a hero, you’ve always been my hero.

I don’t know if you understand how important you are to me. Not because you are the third rank in the Home Office, nor because of your political status, but because of your kindness and selflessness, your courage and sacrifice, your resilience matching your purity.

I know, you never wish to boast about your courage, perhaps you weren’t even aware of how admirable you were at that time.

I wish could be as decisive as you, making decisions without hesitation, even if it means for the honor of the family.

My heart is always too sensitive, always unable to bury all the pain and shame deep within like you.

Arthur, I truly apologize for causing you such trouble.

My body can no longer support me in doing those things I once wished to do for you.

Perhaps the distance between you and me may no longer just be a matter of time.

An invisible wall surrounds me, making me breathless.

I deeply apologize for this turmoil.

No matter what happens, I never want to see you in such a predicament, bearing pain I cannot endure.

I would rather silently suffer alone, even be misunderstood by everyone, than see you under such pressure for my sake.

I know, things may not easily settle down.

But please believe, Arthur, it is never as the rumors say, I never had thoughts of betraying the family’s honor, much less commit those unspeakable deeds.

Arthur, you’ve sacrificed so much for me, yet I can’t do anything for you.

I don’t know when these rumors will end, but I know, no matter how much they hurt me, I will bravely endure.

Because, this is what I can do for you now...

The only thing.

Looking forward to the day we meet again.

Always dearly loving you

Flora Hastings

...

Arthur held Flora’s letter in his hand, standing silently at the doorstep, each word, each sentence weighing heavily on him.

Just then, he heard familiar whispers, it was an evil laughter coming from afar.

"What a foolish girl, isn’t she? My dear Arthur." The Red Devil’s mocking voice rang in his ear: "Spending her life for you, yet unaware, living entirely in your lies, she thinks you are her hero, little does she know you are the one who betrayed her."

Arthur’s brows unconsciously furrowed.

"Do you know?" The Red Devil’s voice continued to echo beside him: "She trusts you, even sees you as her redeemer. But she will never know, you never intended to sacrifice for her, even constantly using her as a pawn, securing your position in Kensington Palace through her, gaining the Hastings family’s acknowledgment through her, winning Victoria’s trust through her. Now..."

"Now, you still plan to pretend fearless, aim to earn a reputation of loyalty and tragedy through her." The Red Devil’s eyes abruptly widened, directly sticking to Arthur’s face: "Little bastard, do you really think I don’t know what you’re thinking?"