The Sorcerer's Handbook
Chapter 471: Moved Once Again
Sonya had always been a devoted fan of Didarose. Since childhood, she had watched every film and drama starring the actress. Back when she was twelve or thirteen, an age when her understanding of romance was hazy yet full of longing, Didarose was in the bloom of youth at eighteen or nineteen, starring in numerous romantic productions. The little village girl's view of love had gradually taken shape through those very stories.
Didarose was now a national star of the Starry Kingdom, yet even Sonya, her most loyal fan, had to admit that the romance dramas the actress starred in during her early years were mostly unpopular.
The Starry Kingdom audience favored romance stories filled with obsessive devotion or tangled love polygons. Every character would be hopelessly entangled, unable to part, living and dying for love as though it outweighed everything else. Sonya understood the appeal. It was precisely that kind of dramatic conflict that made such stories exciting.
Didarose rarely acted in those kinds of dramas. Most of her roles were in career-driven stories, detective series, or other works where romance took a backseat, usually featuring only a single female lead. When emotional subplots did exist, they served merely as breathing space between intense plot developments, moments that brought a knowing smile and a quiet sense of yearning.
On the rare occasions when a love polygon was involved, Didarose rarely played the female lead, appearing instead as a supporting character. Whether righteous or villainous, her characters might fall in love with the male lead, yet they would never abandon their ideals for him. They would always stand opposed to him in the end, sharply distinct from the other love-struck female characters, and thus, they were often the first to exit the stage.
When Sonya turned fifteen or sixteen, Didarose entered the peak of her career, starring in numerous Empress dramas. These were stories centered entirely around the female protagonist, with all male characters reduced to supporting roles. Her portrayal of cold pride, unyielding will, and iron resolve left a profound impact on Sonya, who at the time was buried in endless studying.
It was only natural that, having grown up under Didarose's influence, Sonya came to disdain love and aspire toward ambition.
Meeting the Watcher had caused the long-suppressed part of her that yearned for romance to stir, yet that did not mean she had become foolish or abandoned her beliefs. At most, she had merely regressed from a twenty-year-old back to that twelve- or thirteen-year-old self who once longed for love.
When she realized that the Watcher had other women in reality, her first reaction was anger, resentment, sorrow, grievance, and even killing intent. For a fleeting moment, she wanted to strike him down with her Blood Moon Shattered Lake. Or perhaps she could use Blood Blossom Watermoon and carve him into thirty-six pieces.
Once she calmed down, the village girl realized she could do nothing. She could do nothing at all.
They met every night in the Virtual World; they had witnessed the Golden Fish, fought the Legion of Heroes, supported each other in the Amnesia Cabin, and shared their futures in the Destiny Quiz. They could share every secret, every joy, and every sorrow, yet they could never touch each other's reality.
If Sonya lost her temper and killed the Watcher, she would only be destroying his soul projection, forcing him to recuperate for at least half a year. It meant nothing. She could not interfere with his life, nor could she even threaten it.
Distance reduced a fluttering heart to nothing but echoes. Space turned emotions into reflections upon water, visible, yet untouchable.
If the Watcher had someone he liked in reality, what could she possibly do? Act cute like a kitten and compete for affection? Throw tantrums and press him step by step? Seduce him until he lost himself?
Setting aside whether she was willing to do any of that, would it stop him from acting in reality? Would it guarantee he wouldn't waver? It would not.
More importantly, she did not want to.
Ever since meeting the Watcher, she had never again forced herself to please others, nor worn those elaborate masks of presentation. She had reclaimed her true self and become a better version of herself. She would never regress again.
More importantly, she was already a Two-Winged sorcerer, a seed of a Sword Saint. Advancing to the Sacred Realm was almost inevitable, meaning she would sooner or later become a noble of the Starry Kingdom. With such strength and such a future, wherever she went, she would be her own master.
Why should she lose herself in longing and anxiety over a single person?
Even if that power had been granted by the Watcher, it did not matter. Sonya was willing to help him manage the team, to do her best in exploration and battle, yet she would never give him her entire body and soul.
Even when he had just apologized and tried to explain, Sonya had not changed her mind.
Judging from the composition of his emotions, she vaguely sensed that he might not have acted deliberately. The presence of guilt without true regret was proof enough. Even so, if it was not intentional this time, what about next time? And the time after that?
She could not solve the problem at its root, nor could she even question the one causing it. Slaying countless Fish-Slaying Dragons would not give her even the slightest sense of security.
The Watcher had never done anything that could give anyone a sense of security. He accumulated more and more operators while keeping his reality entirely disconnected. He had never once clearly stated his stance. He might have lost his memory and started anew. Yet, that still did not alter the reality of the powerful figure he used to be. For someone of his status, would he truly have the softness in his heart to make room for others?
Perhaps everything had only ever been her wishful thinking. Now, she was simply accepting the outcome of her own gamble.
Sonya could no longer remember which drama it came from, yet she still remembered one of Didarose's lines. "Any relationship that makes you doubtful, anxious, uneasy, or makes you question whether you're good enough is a burden you should abandon."
The village girl had always been decisive and proactive. The reason she had never pushed their relationship forward, leaving it in that hazy in-between state, was precisely because of this concern. Now that the concern had become reality, she could simply withdraw cleanly and decisively, with no entanglement or lingering pain. That was how it should have been.
When Sonya saw the Watcher laughing and chatting with the Witch during battle, acting as though nothing had happened, a sharp, sour feeling tinged with killing intent rose uncontrollably in her chest.
So he never cared about me at all. That apology earlier was nothing more than an empty performance. Now that I'm not in the way, he can't wait to get close to the Witch.
Dia suddenly felt a chilling killing intent from the side. She turned her head only to see the Swordswoman casually cut down a ferocious Dread Wolf-Dragon.
With a warm smile, the Swordswoman walked over and asked, "What are you two talking about?"
Dia quickly explained, "The Watcher was asking if I'm tired tonight. If I am, maybe we could drive somewhere farther to check out some special buildings instead of continuing to farm Resource Points."
"Ah, I see."
Sonya joined the conversation with a pleasant smile, yet her hands never slowed down. The Dread Wolf-Dragons here were exceptionally cunning and intelligent, but she systematically slaughtered them all with effortless ease.
When they finally returned to the vehicle, Dia took her place in the front passenger seat and watched the two in the back chatting and laughing together. She could not help but let out a quiet sigh of relief. As expected of the Watcher. He really is the Watcher. He solved the Swordswoman's problem so quickly, and the two of them have completely reconciled...
White Queen chimed in. "They haven't reconciled at all. Look closely at the Swordswoman's blade."
Dia shifted her gaze and noticed that the Swordswoman's sword was not hanging from her waist. Instead, it lay flat on the seat like a sharp barrier positioned directly between her and the Watcher.
Black Butler spoke up next, her tone dripping with analytical calm. "Now observe the Watcher's posture."
Dia examined him more carefully and realized the Watcher was sitting sideways, facing the Swordswoman. His left hand remained held stiffly at his side in a defensive posture, as if he were constantly guarding against an ambush from his blind spot.
Red Death Apostle interjected with a sudden, mischievous suggestion. "Hey, try sticking out your tongue and making a 'huff huff' sound right now."
Dia instinctively followed the instruction.
Immediately, both the Watcher and the Swordswoman snapped their heads around to look at her with profoundly bizarre expressions.
"Eh? Why are they staring at me like that?"
Red Death Apostle sighed heavily. "Because you looked exactly like a panting puppy just now. I honestly never expected you to actually do it."
Dia snapped back internally. "You're the one who looks like a puppy!"
She stole one last glance at the two in the back and sighed. Adults' feelings were far too complicated. Thankfully, her own relationship with Ashe was built on nothing but simple, mutual affection[1].
***
After half an hour of driving, they pulled up outside a massive, semi-circular expanse of blackness. It resembled a colossal black bowl overturned upon the earth, so dense with shadow that the Ascending Golden Rain could not penetrate it.
Sonya recognized it instantly. "The Dark Sound Illusion Miracle Paradise."
The Continent of Time hosted a variety of Miracle Paradises. The Mist Miracle Garden, which they had visited previously, required sorcerers to hunt down spirits concealed within the fog, all of which vanished the moment the vapor cleared. The Dark Sound Illusion Miracle Paradise presented a different sensory challenge.
Inside lay absolute darkness that resisted all detection and observation. Even Miracles lost their effectiveness, while the ambient cries of the spirits were amplified countless times. The sorcerers could not comprehend what the entities were saying. All they would experience was an endless, deafening noise that bombarded their ears. They had to capture the spirits while entirely deprived of sight and disoriented by sound. Like all Miracle Paradises, it operated on a strict time limit. Once the darkness receded, the remaining spirits vanished.
"If the three of us split up, we run a high risk of losing track of each other or colliding inside," Ashe suggested. "We should hold hands. That way, we can sweep through the zone like a wide net to capture more spirits while ensuring we don't run into each other."
It was a perfectly practical suggestion, and both the Witch and the Swordswoman agreed without hesitation.
Dia looked at them and asked, "Should I walk in the middle?"
Ashe shook his head. "Witch, your expertise lies in the Fist and Claw Class, while the Swordswoman specializes in swordsmanship. Both of you are far more agile than me, so you need to flank the sides."
Linking hands, the trio advanced into the gloom. Right before they crossed the threshold, Ashe remembered something and cast Sword of Love upon each of them.
"It might not do much inside, but it should at least sharpen your hearing and reaction speeds."
That familiar sensation washed over her again. Every time the Watcher enhanced her, Sonya felt as though he were pulling her into a tight embrace.
Previously, that sensation had triggered a chaotic mix of embarrassment, anger, and happiness. This time, the affection buried deep within her chest merely surged in tandem with her grievances, advancing and retreating like an endless tide. Her eyes grew slightly red.
Fortunately, they had already stepped into the Dark Sound Illusion Miracle Paradise. The dense shadow masked her expression, and the overwhelming noise drowned out the emotional storm raging in her heart. Her eyes saw nothing but an unyielding, ink-black void. Her ears were filled with the chaotic, cheerful shriek of spirits. The only tangible reality she could grasp was the hand gripping hers.
Just as a sense of dependence began to bloom, the village girl ruthlessly crushed the weak thought. If I instinctively reach for his protection every time danger nears... if my heart flutters every time he touches me... how am I ever supposed to walk away? Could anything be more indecisive and lingering than this? I need to bring this to a definitive end.
The Claw-Stretching Club President steeled her resolve. Thinking back carefully, the two of them had never actually crossed any boundaries. No hugs. No kisses. Nothing beyond resting her head on his lap and holding hands. Staring into the blindness before her and listening to the din, a bold, reckless idea suddenly crystallized.
As a conclusion... or perhaps as a self-granted reward... she could secretly kiss him here. No one would ever know. If the Watcher questioned it, she would simply claim a stray spirit had collided with his face. The thought rapidly took root, growing into a towering obsession.
Sonya felt her heartbeat accelerate. Souls possessed no physical body temperature; otherwise, she was certain the hand holding his would have already turned burning hot. There would never be a better opportunity than this, whether to find closure or to finally end it.
Sonya took a deep breath and made her move. Silently, she turned her head and leaned in closer toward his silhouette.
Chu.
Sonya froze.
She could tell the person in front of her had frozen just as rigidly.
At that exact moment, she felt as though her Dark Insight had truly allowed her to see right through the Watcher. She envisioned his tightly pressed lips, the sudden determination in his eyes, his nervousness, and his absolute surprise.
Even without body heat, a phantom warmth seemed to spread from her lips all the way to her ears. The gentle darkness hid her flushed face perfectly.
"I caught one!" Dia's ecstatic voice suddenly shattered the silence beside them. "No wonder it was making so much noise. Turns out it's a Heartbeat spirit!"
1. As if! ☜
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