Chapter 259 : Wang Ze's Requirements Are Now All Met

Bai Bufan's face was extremely gloomy. Lin Li followed his gaze. The three of them had ordered separately, but he only had two bags of takeout in his hand.

After walking over and putting the takeout on the table, Bai Bufan spoke coldly:

"I don't know which scumbag didn't have money to buy offerings for his dead parents in heaven, so he stole our takeout to offer them."

"It seems I must act like Nuwa today and fiercely create his mother."

(Translator's Note: Nuwa is the creator goddess in Chinese mythology. "Create his mother" is a pun on a common Chinese swear word).

Lin Li nodded. It seemed the task was not pointing to Zhou Baowei, the little glutton in the toilet, but to the takeout.

Lin Li immediately jogged to the dorm balcony and looked downstairs through the window. However, from this dorm's balcony, he couldn't see the place where everyone defaulted to picking up and dropping off takeout.

"Are there security cameras?" Lin Li turned around and asked.

"No," Bai Bufan shook his head. "I checked, there are absolutely no cameras by the iron fence."

"What's wrong? What happened?" Zhou Baowei, who had finished eating his lemon, also came out of the toilet. While airing out the smell on the balcony without coming in, he asked.

Lin Li, who was originally on the balcony, entered the dorm at the speed of light.

Damn, it stinks.

"The takeout was stolen," Bai Bufan replied.

"Was it really stolen? Could it be that you just didn't find it?" Zhou Baowei seemed to still have a lot of goodwill towards this world.

"Impossible. There were only about a dozen takeouts in that area. I went through them one by one twice, and I'm sure I didn't find it," Bai Bufan shook his head firmly.

"Could it be cats or dogs..."

"It was stolen by someone," Lin Li also chimed in.

There were no stray cats or dogs on the Nansang campus, and the task had already stated that it was done by a sect disciple, so it must have been stolen by a student.

Grades and moral character are not absolutely linked. Even in top universities like Tsinghua and Peking University, there are still people who steal takeout.

"Fuck, stealing takeout? This is too fucking stupid. Can't even afford a meal? Doesn't his mom give him the money she earns from selling herself? Did he burn it all for his biological father, or did he take it to find his wild daddies?"

As a foodie, Zhou Baowei deeply hated this kind of behavior.

Moreover, although he had heard of it, this was the first time in his life it had happened around him.

Admittedly, the amount of money involved in stealing takeout is not large, but it easily makes people break down, especially when you've waited for half the day, your stomach is very hungry, and after receiving the call, you happily go to get the takeout ready to eat, only to find it stolen when you get there.

At this time, there's nothing left if you go to the cafeteria, but ordering another takeout means you have to stay very hungry for at least another half hour.

What is true despair?

Many times, having a twenty-yuan takeout stolen is more depressing than losing a fifty-yuan bill.

"I can only say it's a sickening, dead mom thing," Bai Bufan kicked the bed frame, visibly angry. "This animal doesn't know yet that he has released a true demon."

"No cameras and no witnesses, this kind of thing is probably hard to catch," Zhou Baowei thought for a while and shook his head.

"In this situation, we can only consider ourselves unlucky. Even if we call the police, they'll at most make a record. They can't really mobilize forces to investigate this, and that's exactly why people dare to steal," Bai Bufan was also very frustrated.

"Forget it, calm down, order another takeout. Consider the lost one my treat. You eat a little of mine and Lin Li's first to pad your stomach," Zhou Baowei comforted.

Lin Li naturally didn't mind either.

Bros for a moment, bros for a lifetime.

Besides, Bai Bufan was raised by them anyway, this was a responsibility and an obligation.

"No need, let's just eat our own. I'll consider myself unlucky. Bringing negative emotions to my bros is not good," Bai Bufan first smiled gratefully, but still shook his head, took out his phone, as if preparing to order new takeout.

It seemed the blow to Bai Bufan was really big, it even made this kid act human.

"It's fine, I ordered a large portion, it's definitely enough to eat! We're all fucking bros, really don't be polite!" Exchanging a glance with Lin Li, Zhou Baowei said sincerely.

"But the one that was stolen was yours," Bai Bufan said upon hearing this, kicked the wall fiercely again to vent his anger, and cursed.

"I told you it doesn't mat—"

Zhou Baowei: "(；☉_☉)?"

Wait.

No.

Zhou Baowei ran in horror towards the two takeouts on the table, his footsteps heavy, full of tremors.

He tremblingly checked the receipts.

Mr. Bai.

Mr. Lin.

Your mom! Where's Mr. Zhou's? Where the fuck is my Mr. Zhou's! Where did it go?

Silence.

Knowing the truth, my tears flow out.

"Take! Out! Thief! I! Fuck! Your! Mom!" Zhou Baowei descended like a king at this moment, angry and ferocious.

"No need, let's just eat our own. I'll consider myself unlucky. Bringing negative emotions to my bros is not good."

At this time, Bai Bufan's words just now also suddenly became clear.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

Hearing it just now, I felt quite sorry for Bai Bufan, but now, the mood of this sentence seems... a fucking bit different?

So Zhou Baowei turned his head to look at Bai Bufan, smiling without mirth: "Bufan, this time your virtual mom must also suffer like the takeout thief's real mom."

...

At Lin Li's suggestion, the three of them went down to the iron fence together again and searched again.

It was indeed stolen, and there were indeed no cameras.

The nearest camera was pointed at the bottom of the dorm building, completely missing the fence side, so it was very easy to stay in the blind spot the whole time.

"Damn it, the rich steal my life, the poor steal my takeout. Good things never happen to me, why do bad things always take turns on me," Zhou Baowei gritted his teeth.

Bai Bufan also gritted his teeth: "Envy bad things."

Zhou Baowei: "?"

"Jay Chou has met Kobe, why don't you envy Zhou Jie?" Lin Li, who was frowning in thought, laughed upon hearing this.

(Translator's Note: A pun on Jay Chou's Chinese name Zhou Jielun, splitting it into Zhou Jie and Lun (which sounds like "take turns")).

Bai Bufan: "Then I envy Zhou Jie."

Approved.

"No way to find it." Looking around again, Lin Li regretfully confirmed this point.

The few superpowers he had on hand had no place to be used in this situation.

Even if he used the exhaustive method and started knocking on every dorm door, even if other students cooperated, there were too many dorms, not enough time, and it would easily alert the snake in the grass.

"Sigh, although it wasn't mine that was stolen, it's still frustrating. Baowei, you eat mine and Lin Li's first," Bai Bufan kicked a stone away, cursed softly, and patted Zhou Baowei's shoulder to comfort him.

The resentment just now wasn't faked.

As for the words about eating his own, it was naturally a joke.

"Actually, takeout isn't expensive, and I still have food in the dorm, but it's still so unpleasant. Especially thinking about this bastard enjoying it, I'm even more unpleasant," Zhou Baowei spat on the ground.

Anyway, there were no cameras.

Unfortunately, Chen Tianming wasn't here, so no one drank it.

"We can only hope he steals again tomorrow. I beg him, he must persist in stealing," Lin Li clasped his hands together, looking up at the sky and praying sincerely.

Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei both looked at Lin Li upon hearing this: "What do you mean?"

"Don't you guys want to catch him?" Lin Li turned his head to look at the two.

"Yes! Of course I do! Daring to steal my, Zhou Baowei's, food, he's the fucking first. I wish I could drop a Mount Tai Meteorite Crash on him right now," Zhou Baowei nodded, his words carrying murderous intent.

"I've also become a demon. Lin Li, you must know, if I become a Buddha, there will be no demons in the world; if I become a demon, I'll have ten wives!

"Whether that guy is male or female, I've decided TA will become my first wife. I'm going to send TA to study in the UK, let TA fall in love with the feeling of the British police!" Bai Bufan also nodded, his words carrying grassy intent.

"Then let's hope he doesn't disappoint us, or another takeout thief comes to bear our anger," Lin Li nodded. "I'll go back tonight and prepare the equipment needed to catch the takeout thief. If he dares to steal again tomorrow, he will definitely be caught."

To complete the task, besides deterrence, he also had to catch him. Lin Li hoped he would be sensible.

Daniel, don't stop, there's no Jackie Chan outside. 

(Translator's Note: A reference to the movie New Police Story).

Moreover, there is nothing more deterrent to others than catching a takeout thief.

The task didn't seem to specify that he had to catch the one who just stole, but it would be best if he could catch him.

"Okay, catch him!" Hearing Lin Li say this, Bai Bufan had expectation in his eyes.

It could vent their anger and it was fun.

"Let's go, let's go back and make do with what we have first. We're all fucking bros, don't be polite." Confirming the policy, there was no point in staying here anymore. Lin Li and Bai Bufan put their arms around Zhou Baowei's shoulders and returned to the dorm.

Three minutes later.

Lin Li and Bai Bufan stared at Zhou Baowei.

"Why don't you fucking be a bit more polite? Who the fuck is your bro?" Lin Li sneered.

"If you ask me, that takeout thief should have stolen yours. The takeout was already ordered for you, and you still get to eat it? You get all the good things? Baowei, go eat shit!" Bai Bufan sneered.

The scolded Zhou Baowei didn't speak, just focused on attacking Lin Li and Bai Bufan's takeout.

It seemed the food in front of him was no longer ordinary food, but rice mixed with the ashes of the takeout thief's mother. He had to use a heavy mouth.

...

After dinner, the three went to the classroom.

Rarely were there few boys in the hallway. Walking into the classroom, sure enough, everyone was playing on their phones.

The class computer was still playing music. Normally, this was absolutely not allowed.

However, in the afternoon at Nansang campus, after dinner, there was a ten-minute broadcast time, usually playing one song every day.

"Oi! Kid! Give me a power source!" Zhang Haoyang turned his head after hearing the back door open, saw it was Lin Li and the other two, and raised his hand to signal.

"Hello, I am a clerk at the Senior One Class 4 store. What do you need?" Lin Li immediately stepped forward and bowed to ask the customer.

"Hello, I need a power source I can plug into," Zhang Haoyang rubbed his chin, looking Lin Li up and down lecherously.

"Sorry, our Nansang Middle School is a legitimate school and does not provide such services," Lin Li shook his head regretfully. "Come find me after school."

"Hahaha fuck, Lin Li, you're still as sick as ever. Quick, quick, quick, do you have a power bank? My machine is almost out of power, emergency!" Zhang Haoyang laughed and cursed, then waved his phone for help.

Lin Li looked up. Sure enough, all the powered sockets in the class were charging power banks or simply charging phones. Even the socket above the blackboard was not spared.

Lin Li took out the power bank from his drawer and gave it to Zhang Haoyang: "Deposit two hundred, three yuan an hour."

"My Ant Credit is a full eight hundred, and you're asking me for a two hundred deposit?" Zhang Haoyang unceremoniously took it and started charging. As the King of Credit, he asked back after hearing Lin Li's words.

"Then the deposit is eight hundred."

Zhang Haoyang: "?"

This, this isn't right, is it?

"I'm asking you to trust my credit!"

"Then establish one now."

"Get lost."

"What kind of mainstream playlist is this, so rustic, following the trend," returning to his seat, Lin Li looked at the song displayed on the projector and sneered.

"Then Mr. Niche, what do you usually listen to?" Bai Bufan asked with a smile upon hearing this.

"'The World in a Horse's Eye', 'The World in a Horse's Eye Remix Version', 'The World in a Horse's Eye 0.8x Speed Pitch-Down Ultimate Lyrical Ma Jiaqi Version'..." Lin Li listed them as if enumerating his family treasures.

Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up upon hearing this, very approving: "Can't flame this, this is indeed niche."

Usually, at the age of Senior One when minds are not yet fully mature, every class has some show-offs who like to use multimedia to show off.

Some will play their niche songs to show off their unique musical taste and hope for others' approval. Some will play a DJ track, put on a hat, stand on the podium, and repeatedly adjust the multimedia volume, thinking they are DJ Jiahao from the next class. Or they will put up a stock chart and start talking nonsense with friends on the podium, thinking they are the God of Stocks...

But although Senior One Class 4 had many animals, many dogs, and many clowns, it indeed didn't have these precious creatures.

At most, Qin Zeyu liked to use multimedia to play Minesweeper.

"Ahem."

Just as Lin Li and Bai Bufan were discussing whether the world in Ma Jiaqi's eyes was a bicycle handlebar or a bicycle wheel, Wang Ze came from the position of the Right Guardian to the back row and coughed twice.

No one paid attention.

"Ahem ahem ahem ahem." So he coughed twice more heavily.

"Bufan, get me a mask," Lin Li reached out to Bai Bufan while covering his mouth and opening the window for ventilation.

Wang Ze: "..."

"Your mom."

"Lin Li, Bufan, did you look at the confession wall today?" Wang Ze sat directly on Bai Bufan's lap, patted the table, and said lightly.

"Didn't look," Lin Li shook his head.

"You can pay more attention and look more. I feel this platform is quite necessary to follow, it gives everyone a channel to communicate and exchange. How nice. You know, I even saw your clown cosplay photos on the confession wall. Don't you care about this?" Wang Ze said seriously.

"Are you on the confession wall again yourself?" Lin Li frowned and asked.

"Fuck? Ah? Has this matter spread so widely already? You two both know? Sigh, it's just like that, nothing much to say. The fifth picture of the post on the Nansang campus confession wall at 14:56 on October 23rd indeed confessed to me, Wang Ze, by name again.

"But it's not important, everyone doesn't need to remember it. I've already become a bit blurry myself. After all, they are all small matters. If you didn't mention it, I would have forgotten.

"Although you, Lin Li, were also on it, you were wearing a clown skin. Unlike me, it's the original skin. Sigh, I really envy you, having a skin."

Wang Ze scratched his head and said modestly.

It could be seen that being so popular, he was quite distressed.

Hearing this, Lin Li turned his head to look at Bai Bufan behind Wang Ze.

Wang Ze?

Bai Bufan nodded.

Lin Li looked again.

Was I also submitted by you?

Bai Bufan shook his head.

OK.

Lin Li then looked at Wang Ze again, his expression somewhat compassionate for a moment.

Look how this kid is being coaxed.

"Sigh, to be honest, having charm is indeed a bit of a headache," Wang Ze continued proudly. "Being too charming is not good either, it made both of these girls shy. My contact information has been posted below for so long, and they are still mentally preparing themselves, refusing to add me.

"But I don't hate it. I actually like this shy personality. I just hope they can be a bit taller and thinner."

Wang Ze smiled foolishly, already starting to make multiple-choice questions.

Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan, and Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li.

One claimed to be 186 but was 184, one claimed to be 181 but was 179. Yes, both very tall.

And both Lin Li and Bai Bufan were thin—Lin Li used to be a pure bamboo pole, now he was lean, muscular when undressed, looking thin when dressed, which was also the perfect figure Lin Li himself thought.

A muscular hunk like Zhai Kai was completely not in Lin Li's aesthetic.

Then Wang Ze was thrilled.

Perfectly satisfying his fetish.

"It should come true, Wang Ze." So Lin Li and Bai Bufan nodded, "Maybe even taller than you. You really hit the jackpot, lucky guy."

"Taller than me, forget it. When kissing, the guy has to stand on tiptoes, that's too weird, bro. Between 1.6 meters and close to 1.7 meters is the most suitable," Wang Ze waved his hand firmly upon hearing this.

"Who the fuck wants to kiss you?" Hearing this, Lin Li's facial features wrinkled due to a chill.

"What?" Wang Ze was confused.

"Nothing, you continue to fantasize," Lin Li waved his hand. "Now is—fantasy time."

"Oh right, I mainly didn't come to you guys to share this matter. Lin Li, recommend some more novels to me. I don't want those ensemble cast novels where people keep dying.

"I'm tired of those Long Aotian novels where they kill the men and collect the women. Are there any GAY Aotian novels where they kill the women and collect the men? I love reading those."

Wang Ze temporarily put away his drool of fantasy. He still didn't know what to do for the evening self-study tonight, so he asked about serious business.

"GAY Aotian novels? Wanting to read this, Wang Ze, are you still human?" Bai Bufan couldn't hold it in upon hearing this.

"Bufan, I think your malice towards GAYs is a bit too big. We shouldn't hate GAYs, we should even thank GAYs. Not only did they leave many women for us, but they also took away a batch of men.

"What we should resist are lesbians, Bufan! They are the true evil!" Wang Ze said with heartache upon hearing this.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Seems... to make some sense. Then... thank GAYs?" Bai Bufan was open to advice.

"Great, just right, I am one. Then Bufan, are you willing to thank me with your butt?" Wang Ze was already sitting on Bai Bufan's lap. As he spoke, he started touching the thigh under his butt, his voice becoming seductive.

"Is the Yan Kingdom map this short? Get lost, fuck—" Bai Bufan laughed and cursed, pushing Wang Ze away.

"Do you have any or not? Lin Li, I'm counting on using a novel to pass the evening self-study later," Wang Ze stood up with a smile and looked at Lin Li.

"Water Margin." Lin Li pointed out a clear path.

Brother, brother, I'll go up the mountain with you, sister-in-law won't be angry, right?

Perfectly satisfying Wang Ze again.

Wang Ze: "..."

"Makes some sense, I'll read this one tonight," Wang Ze agreed and went back.

Not long after Wang Ze left, Bai Bufan, who was looking at his phone, patted Lin Li.

"What's wrong?"

"The Class Rep is really popular. Lin Li, your super big crisis has arrived."

"What is it?" Hearing this, Lin Li turned his head to look at Bai Bufan and directly took his phone.

Bai Bufan was still looking at the posts on the Nansang Middle School confession wall, and the phone interface stayed here.

And the post he was looking at had seven pictures. Three of them were photos of Chen Yuying from different angles, some sitting in the spectator stands, some standing on the field. The other four pictures were chat records. The people posting on the wall were generally "fishing."

It wasn't just boys confessing, but also girls. However, it could be seen that it wasn't admiration, but purely appreciation and the desire to expand their social circle and get to know her.

—At least on the surface.

Obviously, this post was a special compilation made by the confession wall when they noticed several people confessing to the same object at the same time, instead of putting it together with others in a nine-grid format.

"It's not just this one. There's also a picture in the previous few posts, which should also be the Class Rep. The confession wall posted nearly dozens of posts today. I haven't scrolled through much yet, maybe I can find others."

Bai Bufan stretched and said:

"These are definitely wild fans, not Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu's doing."

Lin Li raised an eyebrow upon hearing this.

These people's photography skills are really trash. If you don't know how to take pictures, don't take them.

It was normal to "suddenly" become popular. After all, Chen Yuying didn't have the opportunity to "appear in public" before, and everyone didn't have phones in their hands, so they couldn't post even if they wanted to. But now, it was considered "stepping up to the front stage" to some extent, plus everyone had phones.

Looking at it, he didn't feel much.

Swiping his finger, Lin Li scrolled down to the comments section.

[Riding an Old Lady Across the Street: Confessing to P3! Beautiful! +1!]

[Zou Weilun: It's the Class Rep of our Senior One Class 4, Chen Yuying.]

You're the one causing trouble.

Zou Weilun was also from Class 4, in the same dorm as Wang Yuezhi. Lin Li wasn't familiar with him.

[Ding Sihan: No need to fish and no need to add, she won't accept.]

Little Ding Ding, since we were young, I, Lin Li, always thought you were capable.

After thinking for a moment, he returned the phone to Bai Bufan. Lin Li took out his own phone and left a comment.

[Old Fu Li Ji: Indeed, no need to fish and no need to add. I heard she already has someone she likes, seems to be called Old Fu Li Ji or something.]

(Translator's Note: "Lao Fu Li Ji" is a pun on "Lao Ji Fu Li" (an old steed in the stable still aspires to gallop a thousand miles), changing it to sound like "Old Welfare Girl").

(End of Chapter)