Chapter 261 : Is It Wrong That I Reincarnated as an Umbrella?

Xiaojing, although I don't know when you'll be released from prison, please don't call me after you get out. I'm afraid the Class Rep will misunderstand.

Lin Li suddenly clutched his chest and half-knelt on the ground.

"What's wrong?" Chen Yuying, whose face was originally full of smiles, immediately stepped forward and asked with concern.

"Sorry, I forgot to breathe just now." Lin Li looked up, his Adam's apple rolling in the sunlight, and said with a smile.

Chen Yuying: "..."

"Idiot." Chen Yuying was helpless and amused. Looking down from above, her fingertips curled, and finally turned into a light tap on the top of Lin Li's head.

"Just one tap?" After waiting for a while with no follow-up, Lin Li looked up and asked in confusion, "Class Rep, I think the first watch of the night is too early, right? Ding Sihan and the others probably haven't slept yet. How about you tap twice more, and I'll sneak into your dorm to study with you at the third watch of the night."

(Translator's Note: A reference to the story of Sun Wukong learning from Subhuti in Journey to the West).

"It's not that kind of hint at all!" Chen Yuying was stunned for a moment, then tapped her own forehead twice with the back of her hand, feeling a headache.

Understood.

The Class Rep will take the initiative to come find me to study at the second watch of the night tonight, I don't need to go find her.

Looking forward to it.

Speaking of which, looking up from this angle is usually considered an unflattering angle, but it actually looks this good?

Why do these legs feel longer than mine? Is it because of the proportions?

Could play with them for a year.

"Lin Li, you're no Sun Wukong. The Great Sage isn't as perverted as you. You can only be Zhu Bajie." Catching a glimpse of someone's gaze blatantly wandering along the line of her legs, she smiled and took two steps back, her heels making a crisp sound on the ground: "Alright, Lin Li, hurry up and go to roll call first."

Lin Li stood up, stretched, and before leaving the class base, said to Chen Yuying:

"Class Rep, do you really think my Brother Monkey did nothing after immobilizing the Seven Fairies?"

"Friendly reminder, Brother Monkey popped out of a rock, there are seven Seven Fairies, there are also seven Calabash Brothers, and the Calabash Brothers can turn into a stone mountain."

"I won't say much about the rest. Those who understand, understand. Those who don't understand won't understand even if I say it. Class Rep, don't ask either. The interests involved are too big, and it won't do you any good to know. I can only say the water is very deep, and the information online has been deleted. So I can only say those who understand, understand, and there's nothing I can do if you don't."

After Zhihu expert and industry insider Lin Li finished speaking, he left dashingly.

Chen Yuying: "?"

Then Chen Yuying couldn't help but worry a bit. Spreading such yellow rumors, could Lin Li's head withstand the strike of a 13,500-jin heavy cudgel?

But there was another problem that might need to be solved now. Chen Yuying smiled and said:

"Lin Li, where are you going? The roll call area isn't over there! You're going the wrong way! Didn't you look at the map again?"

Lin Li naturally wouldn't admit it: "The earth is round, this is a field verification of the earth's curvature."

"Tch—"

"I'm really leaving. You must cheer for me later. Oh right, right, Class Rep, it has to be a cheer with a wavy line, 'Come on~', understand?" Lin Li took out his phone to confirm the location while winking at Chen Yuying.

"No way~"

...

When Lin Li arrived at the roll call area, Wang Yuezhi was already there.

The people working at the roll call area were basically student council members and student volunteers. As for teachers, there was only one holding the fort to handle problems the students couldn't solve.

"Wang Yuezhi, what should we do now?" Lin Li walked over, patted Wang Yuezhi's shoulder, and asked.

The very nervous Wang Yuezhi didn't notice Lin Li approaching, so he shuddered after being patted, and said somewhat irritably:

"Go over and show the staff your student ID and number bib, then draw your order."

Lin Li found the table with the Senior One group sign.

"Hello student, please show your student ID." The roll call staff spoke politely after seeing Lin Li.

"Here."

"Senior One Class 4, Lin Li... found it. The registered number is 1009. Where is your number tag? Did you bring it?" The roll call staff checked the roll call book in front of them and asked.

"Yes." Lin Li took off his jacket to show it.

"Nice figure."

"Thanks."

After confirming the number bib and that Lin Li had no illegal equipment on him, the roll call staff recorded it in the roll call book, then handed over a phone: "Tap it."

It was a random number generator.

17.

"17, which means when I take you to the track later, you will be in the seventeenth position." The roll call staff explained the meaning of this number.

For other events, lanes are drawn during roll call. This doesn't apply to the 3000-meter run. It's impossible to run only eight people at a time; everyone goes on at once. Arranging the starting positions in advance can avoid potential friction, such as everyone squeezing towards the inner lane.

"Wang Yuezhi, what's your number." After roll call, they had to wait for the roll call staff to take everyone to the starting line near the start of the race, and couldn't leave at will, so Lin Li walked up to Wang Yuezhi and asked.

"8." Wang Yuezhi's eyes were unfocused.

"Don't be so nervous," Lin Li comforted.

"Easy for you to say," Wang Yuezhi glanced at Lin Li and said resentfully.

After all, he wasn't Lin Li, and he didn't have to suffer this torture.

"I have a way to relieve anxiety, do you want to hear it?" Lin Li smiled.

"Speak."

"If you know how to smoke, smoke a cigarette now to calm down. If you don't know how to smoke, you can learn to smoke first, and then smoke a cigarette now to calm down." Lin Li gave his life hack.

Wang Yuezhi: "..."

Your mom.

Do I absolutely have to smoke this cigarette?

"Instead of joking with me, you might as well think about how to get a good ranking later. I'm just here to make up the numbers, you're not. Don't end up getting the same score as me and disappointing people!" Wang Yuezhi said in disgust.

"Don't worry, I won't have any problems. Oh right, Wang Yuezhi, I plan to use the rabbit tactic later, don't let me mess up your pace," Lin Li said very confidently upon hearing this.

The rabbit tactic refers to running fast at the beginning of a long-distance race to disrupt the rhythm of other opponents and consume their physical strength, thereby creating an advantage for teammates or oneself.

The rabbit tactic has high requirements for the user. In reality, the turtle tactic is used more often.

—That is, deliberately running slowly during the race until falling behind by a whole lap, then blending in and pretending not to have fallen behind that lap.

Before Lin Li got the system, he and Bai Bufan often used this trick.

"Got it," Wang Yuezhi nodded.

Seeing that Wang Yuezhi had no desire to chat, Lin Li just sat on the ground playing with his phone, waiting for time to pass.

Until a voice sounded in front of him: "Are you Lin Li?"

Lin Li looked up. It was a male student, quite tall, but he didn't recognize him.

It wasn't Chen Yuying in front of him, and Lin Li wasn't willing to look up to talk to others, so he stood up and patted his butt. The other party was still a bit shorter than him.

Then he spoke: "Mhm, it's me, Lin Li. What's wrong?"

"Hehe, when running the 3000 meters later, just eat my dust properly behind me." The other party sneered and gave Lin Li a thumbs down.

Lin Li: "?"

No, bro? Do we know each other? Lin Li stared at the other party's face in surprise, thought for a long time in his mind, and finally confirmed that he really didn't know this person.

If we don't know each other, what's with this inexplicable malice?

"The strong should ruthlessly humiliate the weak. In sports, being weak is the original sin. As for the rest, I don't want to say more to a future defeated opponent."

However, the other party just left this sentence, turned his thumb down again, and walked to a seat nearby to play on his phone.

Lin Li: "?"

This person is just like Kuang Heng when he was a kid, a pure wall-chiseling brat! 

(Translator's Note: Kuang Heng is a historical figure famous for chiseling a hole in the wall to steal light to study. "Chiseling a wall" (xiao bi) sounds like "stupid cunt" (sha bi)).

Is he a crossdresser? Otherwise, why does he like to pretend to have a pussy so much? And the kind that pretends to have one when he doesn't. 

(Translator's Note: "Pretend to have a pussy" (zhuang b) is a pun on "showing off" (zhuang bi)).

Although it was somewhat baffling, Lin Li didn't go up to get back at him.

However, the other party successfully caught Lin Li's attention.

He went to the roll call area to take a look. This bro was named Du Hansi, from Senior One Class 14.

Class 14. Lin Li started thinking, had he ever offended anyone from Class 14?

He still had no impression. He had never had any conflict with this person or class.

Is it a leftover problem from the last monthly exam—for example, is he Feng Kai or a classmate of the bro I reported back then, now helping his bro get back at me?

Or is it because they lost the tug-of-war before and are now anxious?

He couldn't guess without asking the person himself, but it didn't matter.

Seventeen is the age when one can least bear any grievance.

Lin Li had plenty of ways to deal with this guy.

"Wang Yuezhi, I'm not using the rabbit tactic later. I've decided to switch to the poop tactic. You just follow the main group normally," Lin Li reminded Wang Yuezhi.

Wang Yuezhi: "?"

What fucking tactic did you just say?

...

"The competition is about to start. All athletes for the Senior One men's 3000 meters line up and follow me!" As the competition time approached, the roll call staff member holding a megaphone shouted at the roll call area.

The twenty classes didn't have a full forty people. After all, not many people were willing to make up the numbers for this kind of event. There weren't many classes like Class 4 that filled their quota. There were only 28 participating athletes in total.

The group followed to the field.

Chen Yuying, Bai Bufan, and the others were already waiting at the starting line. When Lin Li approached, she spoke: "Lin Li, good luck~"

It was the cheer with a wavy line that fulfilled Lin Li's wish.

Sounds nice.

Lin Li put his index and middle fingers together, gently swiped them across his temple, smiled, and nodded: "Received."

Then he took off his jacket and handed it to Chen Yuying.

"If you need to drink water during the run, you can tell me when you pass by," Chen Yuying hung Lin Li's jacket on her arm and shook the two bottles of water in her hand.

"Okay," Lin Li smiled and nodded. "But more important than water is to remember to keep cheering for me."

"Of course." Chen Yuying tapped the two bottles of mineral water in her hands together like cheering sticks, the corners of her lips curling up.

"Gas prices have gone up today, Lin Li." And just now when Lin Li took off his clothes, Bai Bufan, who had put his hands behind his back, said at this time.

"Then give me yesterday's."

"Will the Senior One men's 3000-meter athletes please step onto the track, the competition is about to begin."

"The autumn wind cheers for you, the sunlight applauds for you! The 3000-meter track is the stage where you sweat; the 3000-meter journey is your challenge to surpass yourselves! No matter the result, every step you take is our pride! Lin Li, Wang Yuezhi, good luck! —From all the students of Senior One Class 4."

The broadcast played the cheering script sent by the class for the two of them.

"Good luck to you too." At the last moment, Lin Li patted Wang Yuezhi's shoulder, stepped onto the track, and stood in the back position, looking relaxed.

"On your marks—Set—Bang!"

The starting gun fired.

Lin Li pressed the timer on his watch. To control his score accurately, he definitely had to run according to his previous time allocation.

Lin Li didn't start fast, even considered one of the slowest.

He originally planned to leave everyone in the dust, but because of the change in tactics, it was temporarily unnecessary.

Spotting Du Hansi in the crowd ahead, Lin Li accelerated to catch up, while revealing a dark smile.

The other party dared to talk tough to him, and sure enough, he had some skills, because he quickly ran to first place among everyone.

And Lin Li, following behind, became second.

Du Hansi adjusted his breathing and ran with large strides.

"...Du... Han... Si... Du... Han... Si..." A voice came from behind.

Du Hansi: "?"

This voice made Du Hansi a bit confused. He turned his head and found that it was Lin Li following closely behind him.

Lin Li was actually able to maintain a smile looking at him while running with large strides.

"What's wrong?" The run had just started, and Du Hansi still had energy, so he asked in surprise.

"I am naturally attracted to the strong. Your domineering declaration just now was too handsome. I've fallen a bit in love with you, bro," Lin Li explained with a smile, his face slightly red.

Du Hansi: "?"

No?

Why the fuck are you blushing!

Wait.

There was no time for question marks. Was something touching his butt right now?

Du Hansi looked down in horror. It was fucking Lin Li's hand!

"Fuck, there's a gay guy!"

His pupils quaking, Du Hansi took a deep breath and accelerated again, running at a sprinting speed for many people during the first lap.

Although allocating physical strength like this would affect his performance, if he didn't affect his performance now, it would affect his innocence.

"...Du... Han... Si..."

Du Hansi: "?"

When this voice appeared again like a lingering ghost, Du Hansi swallowed a mouthful of saliva that already tasted a bit like rust, and turned his head.

It was Mona Lisa's smile.

"Hansi, will you treat me well?" Lin Li spoke shyly, sadly recounting the past:

"I hadn't seen my ex-boyfriend for over a month before. He said he missed me very much, so I paid out of my own pocket to go see him. I even booked the hotel and restaurant. But he couldn't even bear to buy a bottle of lube. He blew his nose and wiped it on my back. I originally wanted to scold him, but thinking it wasn't easy to meet once, I endured it. It's just that later, whenever I saw someone blowing their nose, it would trigger memories, so he became my ex-boyfriend.

"Hansi, will you treat me well?" Lin Li asked again, but this time there was no sadness, only yearning for the future and a beautiful life with Du Hansi.

Du Hansi: "???"

In a daze, Du Hansi felt something had raped his ears.

Lin Li should pay him for listening to these words. Was this fucking Chinese?

There was no time to be in a daze, because Du Hansi found that hand had started raping his butt again.

Run!

"Hansi~~ I have a scar on my inner thigh, do you want to see it? It has nothing to do with my obscure past, incomplete memories, and no one bullied me. It's just the mark of time, changing with the seasons, so I call it a seasonal scar."

But that voice lingered like a ghost.

"Ahhhhh!!!" Du Hansi ran forward with all his might. It was the first time he had worked so hard for a man.

Who the fuck knew you could encounter sexual harassment running in a school sports meeting!!

Lin Li's voice seemed to have disappeared.

But Du Hansi didn't dare to look back, nor did he dare to slack off.

He looked straight ahead and ran hard, afraid that if he relaxed, Lin Li would catch up.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed a few girls on the inside of the field looking at him expectantly, including a particularly beautiful girl with a high ponytail.

A flash of porcelain-white wrist blurred in the sunlight, and the creases of her sports shorts when she stood on tiptoe all revealed the unique curves of youth.

Just looking at her a few times, he felt his soul, which had been disgusted and defiled by Lin Li, had become much clearer.

Du Hansi quickly closed his mouth, which was panting heavily due to the sudden acceleration, and adjusted his image.

Now is fantasy time, do I also have a little fangirl...

"Come on! Come on—" Seeing his arrival, the girl also smiled very happily, waving her arm at Du Hansi, so porcelain-white that people couldn't take their eyes off it.

Du Hansi almost fell in love, if the other party hadn't called the wrong name.

"—Lin Li! Come on! Lin Li! Come on~~"

Not only did he not fall in love, but Du Hansi's face instantly looked a bit ugly.

Because she was looking at him and calling Lin Li, what did this mean?

Feeling like he was playing a horror game, Du Hansi slowly turned his head.

It was Mona Lisa's brilliant laugh.

No? Why doesn't this person even have footsteps?

Du Hansi looked down and found that this guy's running frequency was surprisingly consistent with his own, causing him to not even notice someone was sticking close behind him!

It was just that Lin Li, following behind him, finally looked like a human at this time. He didn't touch his butt, but waved back at the girl.

Seeming to notice Du Hansi's gaze, Lin Li looked at him again: "What's wrong, Hansi?"

Hansi didn't speak, just turned his head and continued to accelerate blindly.

"Hansi, I really want to reincarnate as an umbrella, so you can openly hold my handle.

"Or reincarnate as a field, which can be set up in your elementary school, Hansi. Hansi~ oh~ Hansi~ my Hansi."

However, some things couldn't be shaken off. Lin Li's moving voice continued to call his lover's name from behind, almost unable to hold it in himself.

This was Lin Li's poop tactic—disgust the first place to death, and the second place becomes the first place.

Du Hansi also finally understood that Lin Li withdrawing his hand just now wasn't because he planned to act human, but just because they were about to pass an acquaintance, and he also had to maintain his image.

Du Hansi was desperate. Unable to accept this torture anymore, he chose to tell the truth:

"Lin Li, bro, stop, stop torturing me. The tough talk, it, it was Wang Ze who told me to say it. He told me to provoke, you a bit, to see if it could make, make you run a bit faster.

"Bro, forgive me. If you keep doing this, I, I'm going to forfeit. I fucking, just came to the school sports meeting to play a bit, didn't, didn't fucking, plan to get psychological problems!!"

Because he was still running, plus exhaustion, Du Hansi's voice sounded a bit intermittent.

Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"

Ah?

"S-so that's how it is, haha." The doubt in Lin Li's heart was resolved, and he suddenly felt a bit awkward.

This bro could run so fast, he indeed looked like a sports student. It was very normal for Wang Ze to know him but for him not to.

And Wang Ze, this bastard, could indeed do such a thing.

So it was a misunderstanding.

"Sorry, sorry, the flood washed away the Dragon King's temple, isn't it." Lin Li laughed.

(Translator's Note: A Chinese idiom meaning a conflict between people on the same side).

It could be considered Wang Ze's good intentions.

"It's fine, it's fine, as long as you don't disgust me anymore, bro. Sorry, I'm really sorry." The person Du Hansi hated the most right now wasn't Lin Li, but Wang Ze.

Your mom, your classmate has this kind of physical fitness, and you asked me to provoke him?

He's been following me all this time, and even now he can run without slowing down while speaking smoothly and naturally, not looking tired at all!

This kind of person, it should be him provoking me, right?

Wang Ze, I really Tian Wenjing you!

(Translator's Note: Tian Wenjing is a character from the TV series "Yongzheng Dynasty", known for being strict and harsh. Here it's used as a verb meaning "to screw over").

"I'm sorry too." Lin Li checked the timer on his watch and apologized in passing.

"No, no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have provoked you."

"No, no, no, no, I'm sorry... Bro, if I talk anymore, I'm, I'm going to get a stitch. Let's, let's not continue," Du Hansi pleaded.

"Okay, then good luck. I won't be behind you anymore, I'm going to accelerate," Lin Li nodded.

Du Hansi was so moved at this moment that tears were about to flow.

He hoped Lin Li would never appear behind him again in this life.

The place on his butt where Lin Li's big hand had touched still felt numb as if electrocuted. If he was touched again, Du Hansi was afraid his Dao heart would become unstable.

Could it be...

"Then good luck to you too!" Du Hansi's physical strength allocation had been completely disrupted by him. It was absolutely impossible to break the record by following him all the time. His current pace was already a bit slower than expected, so according to the time on his watch, Lin Li started to accelerate.

He didn't forget to encourage him as he passed by.

"Fuck, awesome, Lin Li ran to first place! He passed my bro? Could he get first place? Outrageous... how exactly did he do it?"

And at this time, Wang Ze, who was waiting for Lin Li to approach to cheer on the inside of the field, noticed this scene, his eyes widened, patted Bai Bufan's shoulder next to him, and said in shock.

Coach, I think I really have to switch to liberal arts.

"If you ask him, he'll only give you one answer: he did it by abstaining from lust." Bai Bufan knew Lin Li very well.

"Lin Li! Come on! Keep it up! Take first place! Steady!" As Lin Li ran closer, Wang Ze, Bai Bufan, and the others cheered loudly.

Lin Li nodded at them.

"Waving to the girls' side, and only nodding to our side. I don't want to say much about what's going on," Wang Ze felt the differential treatment and sighed.

"It should just be that he's out of energy. How could Lin Li be so forgetful of his friends for the sake of beauty? If he was, I'd be willing to let him drive a luxury car and live in a villa in his next life," Bai Bufan smiled and spread his hands.

Bai Bufan turned his head and continued to follow Lin Li's figure with his eyes, while Wang Ze waited for the arrival of the second place.

After nearly half a minute, Du Hansi finally arrived at his location.

"Hansi, good luck to you too. I saw you ran very fast in the first lap, I thought you were going to explode, why are you slacking now? You're not already out of it, are you?"

Seeing Du Hansi somewhat exhausted, his breathing obviously a bit out of control, Wang Ze mocked.

Hearing this, Du Hansi was even colder than Lin Li, maintaining a bizarre calmness, not even nodding, but staring fixedly at Wang Ze until he reached the limit of turning his head while running.

Wang Ze: "?"

Wang Ze swallowed a mouthful of saliva. Was... was it an illusion?

Why... did he sense murderous intent in Du Hansi's eyes?

(End of Chapter)