Chapter 205: Even in Love, You Must Study the Art of War!

It was agreed that you would wait for me, yet you broke your promise.

Shinji stepped out of the conference room and frowned at the empty corridor. Asuka was surely going to get scolded again. He had told her to go ahead and not stay behind, but she insisted. He had asked her to join the meeting, but she complained that talking to a bunch of old men was boring. They had agreed to wait right here, but when he came out, she was gone again.

“Shinji-kun, are you waiting for someone?”

A voice came from the side. Shinji turned his head and saw Kozo Fuyutsuki.

This Deputy Commander, having no personal grudge against Shinji, got along with him quite well. As for Gendo Ikari, he had already quietly left with a group of scholars—perhaps his final stubborn act as a father.

“Yes, waiting for Asuka. That person never keeps her word.”

“Young girls are like that; their thinking leaps around, often making it hard to keep up,” Fuyutsuki said with a chuckle. He truly wasn’t a cruel man. “I envy you. You have a heavy destiny, yet you aren’t deeply mired in it, and you haven’t abandoned other equally important things.”

He was implying something about Gendo, who had poured his heart and soul into the project, abandoned Shinji, and was now reaping what he sowed.

But then again, this was normal. Humans have limits. How could one manage NERV, research the Human Instrumentality Project, and be a super-dad all at once? Anyone who achieves great things must sacrifice something, and among those, the least valuable is emotion.

“That level of pressure is nothing to me. Don’t use the stress-tolerance of an ordinary mortal to measure me,” Shinji glanced at him. In truth, he didn’t harbor resentment toward Gendo for neglecting him. No matter how powerful that man was, he was still just a mortal; Shinji was merely treated as a cost to be paid.

“What do you want with me? Are you here to put in a good word for him?”

“No, no. What’s done is done. I have no need to do such meaningless things. Can’t I just have a chat with you?”

“Sure, let’s talk while we walk.” Shinji didn’t object, nor did he continue waiting for Asuka. He walked through the underground city, chatting about aimless topics. In the early days of Shinji’s return, Fuyutsuki had specifically sought him out for a talk. This man had always been diligent in his work, and Shinji’s impression of him was quite good. The topics didn’t involve too many secrets—mostly curiosity about Shinji’s past and concern for his daily life.

But the more they spoke, the more amazed Fuyutsuki became. Shinji could casually separate life, work, routine, and combat—they didn’t interfere with each other and actually promoted one another. This was already something no human could achieve.

He had to realize that the pressure Shinji faced now was ten times heavier than what Gendo had endured back then, and his goals were a hundred times grander. By all rights, he should have become a killing machine and a schemer long ago, yet he still retained a portion of an ordinary teenager.

“I said long ago that you have a heart of steel. It reminds me of an old poem: ‘To be ruthless is not necessarily to be a true hero.'” Fuyutsuki sighed; he had learned a few things from Shinji as well.

“That’s because they aren’t strong enough. That’s why they need to pay a price to avoid letting sentiment affect their judgment.”

“Indeed, the truly strong fear nothing. I think I understand what you mean by ‘instrumentality’—when all burdens are cast off, this sentimentality naturally takes root and sprouts.”

Good emotional intelligence.

Shinji’s gaze became slightly more earnest. Fuyutsuki was nearly sixty; in Shinji’s eyes, he was a little brother, at least much older than the “toddlers” like Misato and her group.

He thought for a moment and simply said:

“But it still lacks a key element—whether this mission will continue. Otherwise, too much sentimentality will become a useless burden. Just like me, I can’t say for certain that after having tasted so many delicacies, seen so many interesting people, and experienced such a long peace, I could ever return to the coldness of the past.”

Peace? Can this be called peace? What was before—a cesspit?

Fuyutsuki’s lips twitched. He had high emotional intelligence and was very good at chatting, so he probably understood Shinji’s train of thought.

“Would you like to hear my suggestion?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

The old man pondered his wording. He didn’t lecture him with high-minded life philosophies, nor did he correct Shinji’s thinking; he merely offered his own opinion.

“Look forward. No one knows what will happen in the future; just enjoy the present. The future is in your hands anyway, and I don’t think His Majesty the Emperor would make unreasonable demands. As for the choices you make, I think those who truly like you will understand.”

Shinji was silent for a moment. The Emperor would certainly not make unreasonable demands. Every Astartes contributed their loyalty voluntarily; no Angel of the Emperor walked

onto the battlefield under duress, and their Chapters didn’t require political commissars to oversee them like the Astra Militarum.

Every time they charged, the Astartes spontaneously rushed to the front; for every suicide mission, the Astartes never refused. Sacrificing for the Emperor was a supreme honor.

“I didn’t expect you to be so shortsighted, no different from Asuka,” Shinji said with a smile.

“I am merely a mortal,” Fuyutsuki blinked and answered with a smile of his own. “But I will respect your choice. I assume others feel the same.”

“I have been taught.” Shinji nodded slightly, watching Fuyutsuki enter the elevator, and stood silently before the closing doors.

Similar thinking to Asuka—future things are for the future me to decide; leave everything to the guidance of the Emperor.

Mortal thinking, but it has some reference value. Back in the day, even as a young child, I could fight my way to becoming an Emperor’s Champion; these worries really are meaningless. If I truly must continue serving, the moment I don my power armor, everything will restart. Or is my faith wavering, tempted by pleasure, no longer loyal?

Shinji didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think about it. His mind was packed with information. Just like right now, the worry about self-instrumentality only occupied about 20% of his thoughts. The rest of his brain was actually summarizing the meeting content, conducting deductions over and over again.

This is the Angel of Death of the Emperor; the ability to multitask is not something mortals can understand. Just as a familiar scent drifted from behind him, these complex thoughts vanished like a switch being pulled, leaving no trace.

“Asuka is missing. When are we going to rendezvous?”

Rei Ayanami appeared quietly behind him, looking concerned. “What was Deputy Commander Fuyutsuki talking to you about earlier?”

“Some life insights. At his age, it’s quite good, and his suggestions have some reference value.” Shinji gave a rough account. His brain had already automatically jumped to the side quest of ‘Rei Ayanami’s birthday,’ focusing on every task—this was the basic discipline of an Astartes.

‘No way, Dr. Akagi even brought in Deputy Commander Fuyutsuki to help?’

Rei tilted her head. She actually didn’t approve of this idea—what “leave it to Ikari-kun to choose”? He must stay, or I will go serve with him. But she knew this could alleviate Shinji’s mental block.

Even though both worlds faced apocalypse-level crises, they were completely different. Earth was indeed too peaceful and comfortable, but she didn’t know how to respond. Whenever this happened, she only needed to do one thing to change the subject.

“Everything lies in the Emperor’s guidance.”

“Everything lies in the Emperor’s guidance.” Shinji performed the Aquila salute as well. Sure enough, it skipped the philosophical question. He glanced at his watch: “There is one hour until the meeting time. We need to find Asuka and Misato within 20 minutes and then head to the meeting. If we go at 110 KM/h…”

“It’s fine, the plan has changed. We’ll go straight to the rooftop restaurant later,” Rei quickly raised her hand to stop him. She knew Shinji was extremely punctual; not a second could be off.

“In that case, we have plenty of time. We can look for Asuka slowly.”

Asuka? She’s probably still in the research department studying health and hygiene classes.

Rei felt ashamed of her “stealth” behavior. She realized she had also fallen into that “bad woman’s” trick. All plans were already in motion, and even Deputy Commander Fuyutsuki was involved; how could she shrink back now?

“No need to look for her.”

“Why?”

“Ikari-kun, I have something to discuss with you. Can you come with me?”

Shinji carefully sized up the girl in front of him. He wasn’t slow; from this morning, he could feel the emotions swirling around people. Like Asuka, she was excited—well, the kind of excitement a grade-schooler feels for a field trip.

Rei’s emotions were like a rollercoaster; occasionally expectant, occasionally conflicted. She must be planning something.

“Today is my birthday. Can you please follow my command?”

She said again, which made Shinji pause for a moment before finally nodding.

“Alright.”

The two walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the deep underground. Shinji remained silent, his gaze calm as he looked ahead, while Rei appeared somewhat nervous, constantly glancing at him.

“It’s really like when we first met.”

“Yes, you didn’t like to speak back then. Often, when I think back, I realize how wondrous fate is.” Shinji shoved his hands into his pockets and lifted his head slightly.

It was truly wondrous. Who would have thought it would turn out like this? A doll-like girl, a steel-like boy. Their greatest similarity was their loneliness, being incredibly strange to this world.

“Gradually, we’ve both become like mortals.”

“Isn’t that good? According to Asuka, you have to learn to read the room. In whatever world, you should take on that form. Being an outsider is very troublesome.”

An outsider?

Indeed. I, Rei, Asuka—we are all outsiders. Although we didn’t actively guide it, in the end, we all blended into this world.

Asuka had untied her mental knot and started acting like an ordinary, noisy girl. Rei had learned many things; a blank piece of paper had been painted with colorful hues, no longer resembling a doll without emotions.

Even I couldn’t avoid the changes. That impenetrable AT Field had developed a crack.

Loyalty, slaughter, the Emperor, mother, friends, companions.

Many nouns and familiar scenes intertwined in his mind. As the motor hummed, the dark elevator descended into the depths. For a moment, Shinji seemed to return to when he first arrived in Tokyo-3.

He remembered it was on a train. A girl eating potato chips sat opposite him. Outside the window were the ruins of the city submerged after the Second Impact. As the train entered the tunnel, the girl in his eyes was one of the killing machines sitting inside a Thunderhawk gunship. He still remembered his answer then.

“Lingering won’t bring anything but confusion. I will go and realize my own value.”

Back then, the newly returned Emperor’s Champion was prepared to face every challenge, slaughter every enemy, train, rest, fight, and kill—this was his simplest life rhythm. He never imagined life would turn into this.

Things exceeded his imagination. Back then, I only had the thought of absolute loyalty. How could I imagine, and how could I have imagined?

Ding.

The elevator door opened. Rei walked out and looked with confusion at the stiff, motionless boy. A second later, she saw a smile appear on his face.

“Not bad.”

At this moment, Shinji understood that every world has its own theme.

In 40K, slaughter, war, and allegiance were the themes. Countless races brawled on the stage of the galaxy. Cruelty and heaviness were deep in the marrow; countless corpses formed a magnificent picture.

In this theme, calling for love and peace is foolish. No matter how powerful a “saint” is, if they go to the bottom-layer hives for a month of re-education, they will become twisted. Everyone is just struggling to survive in this molten lava, obtaining the basic right to live.

But in his hometown, the struggle between Angels and humanity was just an appearance. The true theme lay in the most basic concept: the AT Field. Even powerful Astartes could not escape it.

Unless he completely shut himself off, as long as he made contact with others, the AT Field would collide. As long as he communicated with people, he was bound to be influenced by them. This thing was intangible. At least at this moment, through recollection, Shinji realized that from the moment he returned, the world and destiny changed because of him, and he was changed by the world.

How wonderful. I changed the people around me, changed the inevitability of fate, and was changed by them. If I closed my heart and viewed this world as a pure Astartes, what would happen?

Shinji followed behind Rei, a wonderful thought appearing in his mind, and then he realized this hypothesis didn’t exist.

He was bound to pilot Unit-01, and he was bound to make contact with others. If he stubbornly covered his ears, how would that be any different from the weak self in Rei’s dreams? More importantly—

This is correct.

At every node, he had made the right choice, and becoming what he was now was perfectly fine. He was just a human, responding to the call from the depths of his heart.

A more comfortable life, more delicious food, a more peaceful life, closer friends…

Suddenly, Shinji realized an important issue.

He wasn’t a pure Astartes after all. Even though his childhood memories seemed short in the span of over a hundred years of service, certain things had already been set. He was not a rootless tree or duckweed. If he were a pure Astartes, he probably wouldn’t even have bothered to look at Rei and the others.

“Ikari-kun, what are you thinking about?” Rei walked beside him, as if she could sense Shinji’s flying thoughts.

“I’m thinking about the theme of the world, and whether self-instrumentality counts as an inevitable fate.”

Rei took a soft breath. Fortunately, she wasn’t a normal person either. If it were Asuka, she probably would have exploded by now.

‘My heart is racing, I’m constantly hyping myself up, what kind of messed-up things are you thinking about?’

“Sure enough, Ikari-kun is different from ordinary people.”

“Personality and thoughts originate from experience. My experience is unique, so this is normal. This past year has been too relaxing and cozy for me, and my way of thinking is shifting toward that of a mortal. For example, your and Asuka’s complex thoughts—occasionally, I even analyze what you are thinking about.”

“Ikari-kun didn’t analyze that before?”

“An Astartes wouldn’t have such intense emotional swings. If they did, I would immediately report to the Chapter Chaplain for review. Usually, this happens when touching something filthy or discovering some huge secret.”

“Then I am truly honored.” Rei smiled slightly. She was easily satisfied, because no one understood Shinji better than she did. She was also the first person to believe in Shinji’s story.

His way of thinking was completely different from a mortal’s. He was willing to spend some energy thinking about the complex thoughts of girls—could this not be considered an honor?

“Ikari-kun, do you feel that Asuka and I cause you trouble?” Rei plucked up her courage and followed the topic deeper. In the past, she had only skimmed the surface.

“Occasionally. Your ways of thinking, many times, I cannot understand and need to spend some energy to learn. Just like I don’t understand why Asuka is always obsessed with taking photos with me, or why, when we go to the beach to bask in the sun, I have to spend effort choosing a swimsuit.”

Shinji frowned. He had many things he didn’t understand. Occasionally, he would take time to ask Kensuke and Toji, but those two guys’ intelligence was often wrong.

If it were Asuka, catchphrases like “Anta Baka” (You’re an idiot) would have already come out. Rei listened quietly because, like Shinji, she hadn’t understood anything before. It was because of the boy beside her that she took the first step, and then there was no stopping it.

“Ikari-kun, do you feel annoyed?” She quietly clenched her fists.

“That doesn’t go that far. Although these questions have nothing to do with my mission, I gradually understand something Misato said to me at the beginning.”

“What did she say?”

“Survival is just the foundation. If we have the energy, we should build happiness on top of it. These are all ‘happy troubles,’ and I have the energy to spare.”

‘That shameful person actually managed to say such a thing?’

Rei was very surprised. Misato Katsuragi had actually fulfilled her duty as a guardian; this sentence was too important.

“Then, Ikari-kun, let me tell you the answer.”

“The answer is in here?” Shinji raised an eyebrow and looked around. Isn’t this the floor for the Appropriators’ lounge? He came back to his senses.

“Are you ready?”

“Huh? You knew?” Rei was clearly somewhat panicked.

“Everything is under my monitoring, but to maintain the sense of anticipation, I don’t know the specific details.”

The door opened, revealing a simply furnished exclusive lounge, with a locked door inside. Rei felt her heart beating rapidly, yet she walked in with a light step.

“Mm, I’m ready. Please come with me.”

Shinji stood at the door, motionless, frowning: “Are you ready for a glorious duel with Asuka? A sneak attack is not an honorable act.”

“How does that count as a sneak attack?” Rei wasn’t flustered at all; she winked cunningly. “As far as I know, you didn’t limit the way of the duel, right? Besides, the result of a duel should have a winner and a loser, right?”

“Of course. Either win or lose. I indeed didn’t limit the method.”

“Then a battle of wits counts as one, and I don’t intend to defeat Asuka. I crave a win-win situation, so the ‘glorious duel’ doesn’t hold up, you see.”

Shinji’s frown deepened. He really couldn’t find a flaw, because from the beginning, Rei never said she was going to accept the challenge.

“Was it Ritsuko who taught you these words?”

Rei froze, then nodded, decisively selling out a certain doctor.

“So that’s how it is. No wonder you insisted on calling everyone together today, insisting on making me hold a meeting at this time.” Shinji tilted his head. All the strange situations of the day now had a reasonable explanation.

“Deceiving the heavens to cross the sea, luring the tiger away from the mountain, selecting elite forces to decapitate the main target… did you even calculate that Asuka didn’t sleep well last night because she was too excited, and the fact that Kaworu Nagisa couldn’t come to headquarters? Such high tactical literacy.”

Rei listened quietly. She didn’t know if Shinji was complimenting Dr. Ritsuko, but she felt more and more that the study materials given to her by Rin Chihaya were garbage.

This was the true battle of wits. Even in love, one must use the art of war. Calculated against the uncalculated, she had truly outsmarted Shinji.

“Just as Astartes often use decapitation tactics, I have now resolved all unexpected elements and gained the opportunity to face the commander directly, just as you did in the Battle of Barack II.” Even if it is a glorious duel, I have already won by getting to this step.” Rei puffed out her chest, saying things she herself didn’t fully understand.

Listening to this, it didn’t sound like a confession, but rather like she was going to chop off Shinji’s head and kick it like a ball. That battle was also recounted from Shinji’s own mouth and belonged to one of the great victories among his countless campaigns.

Shinji led half a company, using various methods to lure away the heavy guards of the alien warlord, and eventually gained the opportunity to face the enemy leader directly. This alien race was a bit like an ant colony—the guards were strong, but the leader was incredibly weak. Reaching this step already signaled victory.

“Exquisite tactical application and team coordination, worthy of praise.” Shinji clapped his hands lightly, then puffed out his chest. “But you calculated one thing wrong: I am not that weak alien brain-worm.”

Violent intent surged out, making Rei’s cheeks twitch slightly. She felt the style of the scene had gone askew—how did it suddenly jump from a romance anime to a battle anime? She quickly thought of ways to respond from the dozen or so contingencies Ritsuko had told her.

“Do you remember the premise? The ‘glorious duel’ is invalid. Ikari-kun, you wouldn’t want to violate the vow of honesty, would you?”

The fighting intent vanished. Shinji suddenly realized he had stepped into Rei’s thought trap. Yes, Rei had never said she was going to duel him one-on-one. If anything, the duel was aimed at Asuka, and judging by the outcome of the battle of wits, that idiot had already failed miserably.

“Fine. I’ll listen to your request, but you must be quick. Asuka might come to her senses at any moment.”

‘Why is it still not according to the script? Where is the promised shyness and romance? Why does it look like a religious ritual?’

Fortunately, Rei didn’t care about these minor details. Perhaps this was the normal way of dating. She took Shinji’s hand and pulled him into the inner room.

“Ikari-kun, actually, I did all of this just to give you a gift. Are you looking forward to it?”

“To tell the truth, I am looking forward to it.” Shinji wouldn’t lie. Since this group of people went through such a complicated operation just to give him a gift, he was indeed looking forward to it.

Beep.

The electronic door unlocked, revealing a messy room, but for just an instant, Shinji’s gaze was captured by the suit of armor in the middle.

Red paint, reflecting a steel-like texture under the spotlight. That filled-up display of honor awakened the best memories in the deepest part of his mind. The blood-red memories flooded every corner of his brain. It could be said that the moment he saw this armor, countless scenes came rushing back.

Airdrop warfare, boarding actions, assault missions, decapitation strikes, annihilation, trench warfare…

He had once worn it to slay countless enemies of the Empire, covered in blood, fighting in every corner of the galaxy, and attained supreme glory.

Shinji took a breath. He never imagined that the gift Rei would give him was—

A loyalist Mark VIII Power Armor.