Chapter 141: Attention

Chapter 141: Chapter 141: Attention

The first time Adrian saw Marian again, she took his breath away.

Nearly a month later, the problem had not improved.

If anything, it had become worse.

Every gathering seemed to begin the same way.

He would arrive.

Exchange greetings.

Endure introductions.

Fulfill whatever obligation the evening required.

Then his gaze would move across the room.

And stop.

The worst part was that it happened immediately.

Every time.

A ballroom.

A reception.

A crowded garden.

It made no difference.

His eyes found her with alarming ease.

As though some part of him had already begun searching before he consciously realized it.

The realization irritated him instantly.

Because it was ridiculous.

Because it kept happening.

Because no matter how many times it happened, he never seemed prepared for it.

And because every time he saw her, the result was exactly the same.

For one brief moment, she became the only person in the room.

The effect should have diminished.

It did not.

Nearly a month had passed since the opening ball.

Nearly a month of receptions and luncheons and social obligations.

Nearly a month of seeing Marian.

Yet somehow every appearance felt unexpectedly new.

A glimpse of gold beneath a chandelier.

A turn of her head.

A smile.

And suddenly Adrian found himself paying attention again.

The realization was becoming increasingly difficult to tolerate.

The troubling part was not that he noticed Marian.

The troubling part was that he noticed her first.

Every room.

Every gathering.

Every ballroom.

Sooner or later, his gaze found her.

And every time it did, something in him tightened.

The reaction was becoming increasingly difficult to explain.

Perhaps that was the problem.

For years Marian’s beauty had been a certainty.

Like sunlight.

Like the sky.

Something so familiar that he had stopped noticing it.

Now familiarity had been stripped away.

And Adrian found himself confronted by the reality of it all over again.

The result was deeply unfortunate.

Because Marian was beautiful.

Painfully so.

Not merely beautiful.

The most beautiful woman in the Empire.

He had heard that description countless times over the years.

For the first time, he found himself understanding why.

The realization was embarrassing.

And profoundly irritating.

It was not merely her appearance.

Although that alone would have been enough.

It was everything else.

The way conversations seemed to gather around her naturally.

The way people smiled when speaking to her.

The way she listened.

The way she laughed.

The way she made others laugh.

Every time Adrian looked away, he found himself looking back.

Every time he told himself to pay attention elsewhere, his attention wandered.

The behavior felt alarmingly similar to that of an infatuated schoolboy.

The comparison alone nearly soured his mood.

Yet the pattern continued.

A luncheon.

A charity event.

A formal reception.

A musicale.

A garden party.

The days passed.

Then the weeks.

Nothing changed.

Except Adrian found himself noticing more.

And more.

And more.

Not every gathering included Marian.

That realization should not have mattered.

Yet somehow it did.

Several weeks into the Season, Adrian arrived at a reception hosted by an elderly duke.

The room was already crowded.

Without thinking, his gaze moved across the assembled guests.

Once.

Then again.

A third time.

Only afterward did he realize what he was doing.

He was searching.

The realization stopped him cold.

For several moments Adrian simply stood there.

Irritated.

Because there was no reason for it.

No reason whatsoever.

And yet he had apparently entered the room and immediately begun looking for Marian.

The discovery was profoundly unwelcome.

It was hardly the first time.

Merely the first time he had caught himself doing it.

Marian was not there.

The absence should have been insignificant.

Instead Adrian found himself scanning the crowd once more.

As though a second look might somehow change the answer.

It did not.

A ridiculous disappointment settled somewhere in his chest.

Adrian immediately disliked it.

The reception continued.

He remembered almost nothing about it afterward.

The troubling part was not that he had looked for her.

The troubling part was that he had expected to find her.

At one reception, he spent nearly twenty minutes speaking with the daughter of a marquis.

A perfectly suitable young lady.

Intelligent.

Accomplished.

Well-spoken.

When the conversation ended, Adrian discovered he could not remember a single thing she had said.

Meanwhile he found himself remembering the exact shade of blue Marian had worn three days earlier.

The realization was absurd.

And increasingly irritating.

Half the Empire appeared determined to place prospective brides before him.

Daughters.

Nieces.

Granddaughters.

Young women who would have been considered excellent candidates by any reasonable standard.

Adrian remembered almost none of them.

Meanwhile he found himself remembering insignificant details about Marian.

The ribbon in her hair.

A particular expression.

A brief laugh.

What made it worse was that Marian appeared entirely unaware.

She never sought him out.

Never approached him.

Never even seemed to notice his attention.

Instead she moved through the Season with surprising ease.

That, more than anything else, unsettled him.

Because Adrian remembered a different Marian.

Not an unhappy Marian.

Never unhappy.

But one who attended such events because she had to.

Because duty required it.

Because her position demanded it.

This Marian was different.

Subtly.

But undeniably.

She arrived willingly.

She lingered afterward.

She engaged in conversations with genuine interest.

More than once Adrian noticed her listening so intently that she forgot to maintain the carefully composed expression expected of noblewomen.

The sight was oddly captivating.

And deeply confusing.

The inconsistency bothered him.

For years Marian had fulfilled her social obligations flawlessly.

That was not unusual.

What was unusual was that she had never appeared to enjoy them.

Now she did.

The distinction was subtle.

Most people would never notice it.

Adrian did.

The realization bothered him more than it should have.

What changed?

The question returned repeatedly.

Unwelcome.

Persistent.

Because something had changed.

Adrian knew it had.

The evidence stood before him at every gathering.

Smiling.

Laughing.

Beautiful.

And apparently happier than ever.

The thought lodged itself somewhere unpleasant.

Not because he begrudged her happiness.

He did not.

Marian deserved happiness.

The problem was simpler.

And far more irritating.

He could not stop wondering about it.

The answer, when it came, was not a surprise.

Merely a confirmation.

A passing conversation.

A careless remark.

The sort of thing Adrian normally would not have remembered.

"Lady Marian seems quite interested in Ashford these days."

Laughter followed.

Someone said something else.

Adrian did not hear it.

Because he already knew.

Of course.

Who else would it be?

Marian had chosen Cassian.

He had known that from the beginning.

Cassian loved Marian.

He had known that too.

He had seen it.

He had heard it.

He had confronted both of them.

None of it was new.

And yet somehow the thought settled differently now.

Because knowing Marian had chosen Ashford was one thing.

Watching the consequences was another.

His gaze drifted across the ballroom.

Toward Marian.

Toward her smile.

Toward the unmistakable happiness that seemed to follow her everywhere these days.

Something tightened unpleasantly in his chest.

Irrational.

Unreasonable.

Entirely beneath him.

And yet it remained.

For the first time, Adrian found himself wishing he had never noticed it at all.