Chapter 327 v4 - 28: no reason to look back

Chapter 327: v4 Chapter 28: no reason to look back

Marian returned to their apartments with Adrian.

She said very little on the way.

Not because anything was wrong.

At least, nothing that Adrian could have noticed.

She simply felt tired after the long day.

That was all.

Or so she told herself.

Once they entered their private sitting room, Adrian removed his gloves and handed them to an attendant.

Marian moved toward the dressing room.

She could still feel the evening lingering beneath her skin.

The banquet.

The introductions.

The music.

The dancers.

And—

No.

She stopped herself.

She was not going to think about him.

Not now.

She had already spent far too much of the evening doing exactly that.

Marian removed her earrings and placed them carefully on the dressing table.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

Her expression was perfectly composed.

Good.

She had managed the entire evening without doing anything foolish.

She had not spoken to him.

She had not approached him.

She had not asked anyone about him.

And when the banquet ended, she had deliberately not looked back.

In fact, she had made certain of it.

When Adrian offered his arm, she had taken it without hesitation.

She had walked beside him all the way out of the hall without once turning her head.

She had known exactly what she was doing.

Hmph.

What exactly was she supposed to do?

Walk over to him?

Ask whether he was Cassian?

After six years?

If he truly was Cassian, he had seen her.

He knew exactly where she was.

And yet he had done nothing.

Not one word.

Not even an attempt to acknowledge her.

Marian folded her earrings together and set them on the dressing table.

She stared at her reflection.

Then, despite herself, she thought of him again.

Cassian.

She closed her eyes.

Why was she still thinking about him?

She was angry with herself now.

Not because she had looked at him.

That had been unavoidable.

But because she had continued looking.

She had spent half the evening watching a man she believed to be a stranger—or perhaps not a stranger at all—and trying to determine whether he was someone who had belonged to her life six years ago.

Why?

What did it matter?

Whatever had happened to him, whatever life he had built for himself in Milicia, it was no longer her concern.

He had disappeared.

She had been told he was dead.

She had mourned him.

She had eventually accepted it.

And apparently—

he had been alive.

Very much alive.

Marian’s brows drew together.

He had not looked like a man who had spent six years suffering at all.

He had looked well.

More than well.

He was confident, composed, impeccably dressed, and carried himself like a man who knew exactly where he belonged.

A marquess.

In another kingdom.

He had money.

Connections.

A life.

Whatever had happened to him, he had apparently managed quite well without her.

Marian’s mouth tightened.

So why was she sitting here thinking about him?

She had a husband.

She loved her husband.

She had been happy with Adrian for years.

That was not something she needed to question.

She had chosen him.

She had built her life with him.

So why was the return of a man from her past suddenly occupying her thoughts?

Marian shook her head.

Ridiculous.

She should be angry with Cassian.

If that really was him, then what exactly had he done all these years?

Why had he never returned?

Why had he never told her he was alive?

Why had she been left to believe he was dead?

And if he had truly been living this well, what had he been doing while she mourned him?

The questions made something hot rise in her chest.

Then she caught herself.

She did not even know the answers.

Perhaps there was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Perhaps there wasn’t.

Either way, it was no longer her responsibility to solve.

She was married.

She was happy.

She had nothing to prove to a man who had disappeared from her life.

Marian lifted her chin.

Fine.

Let him see it.

Let him see exactly how well she had done without him.

She almost smiled at the thought.

It was petty.

She knew it was petty.

But she was allowed a little pettiness after being unexpectedly confronted with a man she had spent a year and a half grieving, only to discover, six years later, that he was apparently alive and thriving.

And she certainly wasn’t going to tell Adrian.

The thought came immediately.

No.

Absolutely not.

What would she even say?

Adrian, I think one of the Milician marquesses might actually be Cassian.

The absurdity of it was almost enough to make her laugh.

And worse—

Adrian had shown no sign of recognizing him.

Not even the slightest reaction.

If Marian told him now, she would be the one placing Cassian’s name between them again.

She knew how sensitive that subject could be.

She knew what Adrian had asked of her.

Choose me every time.

She had.

She still did.

There was no reason to make him wonder whether she had suddenly begun thinking about Cassian again.

Especially when she wasn’t even certain herself.

So she would say nothing.

Marian turned away from the mirror.

That was settled.

She would not mention Carlo.

She would not ask anyone about him.

She would not seek him out.

And she certainly would not spend another moment wondering about a man who had apparently built an entirely new life without her.

She took a breath.

Then another.

For a few seconds, her mind was quiet.

Until one question slipped through again.

If he really was Cassian—

why had he left her?

Marian’s expression fell.

That was the question she could not seem to silence.

Not why didn’t he come to me tonight?

Not even why did he hide?

But why had he left in the first place?

What had she done?

Had she somehow failed him?

Had he simply stopped loving her?

Had there been something she had never known?

She frowned.

No.

She wasn’t going there.

Not tonight.

She had already given the matter enough of her evening.

Whatever had happened six years ago belonged to the past.

And if Carlo of Valmere wanted to remain a stranger—

then he could.

Marian turned toward the adjoining room, where Adrian was waiting.

She would go to bed.

She would sleep.

And tomorrow, she would return to her life.

Her life with Adrian.

The one she had chosen.

The one she loved.

She had no reason to look backward.

None at all.

At least, that was what she told herself.

–

Tbc

AN: please be reminded that Marian has no idea about what truly happened ok. She has no idea that adrian was the one to order Cassian’s death.