Chapter 224: I’m Attracted To You

Qinghe felt Zhiyi’s fingers grow still against his collar. She hadn’t withdrawn them, but her attention sharpened as she waited for him to explain.

He had spent the morning hoping she would understand without making him say too much.

Now, with her hand in his and her face close enough to kiss, he realized how unfair that was. She had asked him direct questions. He owed her an answer she wouldn’t have to work out afterward.

"I’m attracted to you," Qinghe said after a moment.

His voice sounded steady, but he could feel his pulse pounding beneath his skin where she was touching. "When I think about spending time with you, I want more than these visits. I’d like you to consider me as someone you could love."

Zhiyi lowered her hand from his collar to the blanket and Qinghe resisted the urge to follow it or to soften what he had just said.

Zhiyi took her time answering. Qinghe waited, his hand still wrapped around hers, resisting the urge to explain himself before she’d had a chance to speak.

Qinghe had wanted the chance to tell her how he felt. Now that he had, he needed to let her answer without expecting her to reassure him.

"Did you feel this way before I was injured?" Zhiyi asked. Her hand remained in his, although she had stopped moving her fingers.

"Yes," Qinghe replied. "I wanted to spend time with you before that. After you were hurt, I had a reason to visit every day, and I didn’t have to explain why I kept staying."

He hadn’t realized how that would sound until he said it.

Looking down at their hands, he remembered lingering after examinations, hoping she would ask him something before he left. He had always made sure she was comfortable, but that hadn’t been his only reason for staying.

Zhiyi moved her fingers against his palm, and he looked up.

"I’m glad you told me," she said. "I thought you came because you needed to look after me."

"I should have visited without waiting for a reason," Qinghe admitted. "You shouldn’t have had to ask."

She took a moment to answer. Qinghe let her think, keeping his hand relaxed around hers even though he was nervous enough to want to hold on tighter.

"I wanted you here this morning," Zhiyi told him. "I liked knowing you were coming. But I don’t know yet whether I feel the same way you do."

Qinghe’s shoulders eased.

He had worried that she would pull away or ask him to leave, and she had done neither. She was still holding his hand and telling him she had wanted to see him. He could wait for her to understand the rest.

"You don’t have to decide today," he assured her. "I’d still like to bring the book tomorrow. We can spend some time together and see how you feel."

"I would like that," Zhiyi replied, brushing her thumb along his finger. "But I don’t want you to spend the whole visit waiting for me to decide."

He smiled because she had noticed something he would probably have done without realizing it.

"I’ll try not to," Qinghe said. "You may have to remind me if I start asking too many questions."

He settled back a little, leaving their hands on the blanket. Until then, he had been sitting so carefully that his shoulders had begun to ache. Zhiyi watched him get comfortable, then returned her attention to his hand.

A door closed somewhere down the corridor. Qinghe heard footsteps pass, but he didn’t look toward them. Her fingertip was moving along the side of his, and he was more interested in watching her than finding out what the others were doing.

"I like holding your hand," Zhiyi said. "I’d like to spend more time with you and find out what else I like."

Qinghe lowered his head, unable to hide his smile. She leaned forward a little to see his face, and he looked up before she had to move any farther.

"You don’t have to hide that," she told him. "I meant what I said."

"I’m glad." Qinghe laughed softly, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "I just don’t want to hear more than you’re telling me."

Her mouth curved, and his gaze dropped to it before he could stop himself. He wanted to kiss her, but they had only just begun talking about what she wanted. He stayed where he was, enjoying the fact that she hadn’t moved away.

When he looked back into her eyes, she was watching him with an interest that made him feel warmer.

"May I kiss your hand?" Qinghe asked, lifting it slightly from the blanket.

Zhiyi looked down at their hands before turning hers so her knuckles faced him.

"Yes," she said. "I’d like to see how that feels."

Qinghe bent toward her, slowly enough that she could draw back if she wanted. Her fingers stayed loose in his as he pressed his lips below her knuckles.

He had imagined kissing her before, usually when he was alone and could pretend he would eventually stop thinking about it. Now her hand was warm against his mouth, and he let the kiss last a little longer before lifting his head.

Zhiyi hadn’t looked away. She drew her hand closer to herself and touched the place he had kissed with her other thumb.

Qinghe watched her, wanting to know what she thought but remembering what she had said about waiting for an answer.

When she glanced toward her water, he passed it to her. She took a drink while he rested his hand on the blanket, making no attempt to reach for hers again.

After setting the glass down, she put her fingers back between his.

Qinghe looked at her, and she gave his hand a small squeeze. He smiled and stayed beside her, content to let her make the next move.

They were still sitting together when Hanchuan appeared in the doorway carrying her hairbrush. Qinghe noticed him looking at their hands, and his first instinct was to let go.

He stopped himself when Zhiyi’s fingers shifted against his. She hadn’t done anything she wanted to hide, and he didn’t want to make her feel as though she had.

"I found this beside your chair," Hanchuan told her, bringing the brush to the bed. "You’ll want it later."

Zhiyi accepted it and placed it beside Zeyu’s box. Hanchuan remained standing near the table, and Qinghe looked up at his friend. They had known each other for years, but he couldn’t tell what Hanchuan was thinking now.

Zhiyi glanced between them before speaking.

"Qinghe told me he’s attracted to me," she said to her husband. "I don’t know exactly how I feel yet, but I want to keep spending time with him."

Hanchuan looked at her for a moment, then pulled the second chair away from the wall. He sat close enough that none of them had to raise their voice.

"Then we should talk about what that means for all three of us," Hanchuan said.