Chapter 377: The Last Things He Said

My mother’s hand stops over the table.

For the first instant, I think she’s searching her memory for the name.

Then I realize she actually found it too fast.

The color starts leaving her face. Her fingers pull slowly away from the glass, as if she forgot what she meant to do with it, and her eyes lose focus. They don’t go to me, or to Rhayne. They stay fixed somewhere past the room.

"Mom?"

She doesn’t answer.

My mother stands up.

The movement is slow, without the hurry of someone startled. It looks worse than that. Like her body knows exactly where to go while her head has gone somewhere else.

She crosses the small distance to the couch and sits down. Maybe looking for something softer to hold whatever just turned hard in her memory.

Her hands come together in her lap.

Her eyes stay empty.

Rhayne looks at me, and I look back at her.

’Whatever that name just dug up, it isn’t good.’

I leave my sandwich on the plate and go to my mother. I don’t ask anything else from across the room. I crouch in front of her until I’m on my knees, close enough that she won’t have to look around for my face.

"Mom."

This time her eyes come down to me.

She still looks lost.

"Are you all right?"

She stays vague a few seconds longer, then raises her hand.

Her fingers touch my face slowly, move across my cheek, and stay there. No smile appears. There’s something in her expression I recognize, though I rarely see it this clean.

Longing mixed with fear.

I hold her hand against my face.

"You’re worrying me."

My mother blinks.

"I’m sorry."

"It’s all right, it’s just..."

I wait a moment.

"What does Arthur mean to you?"

She closes her eyes.

Her chest rises in one long movement, and the air comes out slowly. When she opens her eyes again, part of her seems to have come back into the room.

"Arthur... Arthur Lancaster was the last name I heard out of your father’s mouth."

For a second I forget to keep my composure.

"What?"

My voice comes out faster than I wanted.

Rhayne moves too. She doesn’t come close enough to crowd my mother, but she leaves where she was and stops beside the couch.

"Mom, what did he say? Who was Arthur?"

The questions come out together.

My mother frowns, trying to keep up.

"Sorry, Mom. One thing at a time. Let’s go slowly."

She runs a hand over her own knee.

"I don’t know who he was exactly."

"But Dad knew him? Right?"

"He did."

My mother looks at some point on the floor while she rebuilds the memory.

"The last time your father left for Thirstfall, he said he had to settle a few things first."

My body goes still.

"On Earth or in Thirstfall?"

She nods.

"He was going to meet Arthur here on Earth."

Rhayne and I trade another look.

That information alone changes the size of this.

Arthur Lancaster wasn’t just someone Alden knew on the other side.

"Where were they meeting?" I ask.

"I don’t know. Alden didn’t say."

"And then?"

"Then they were going in together."

Something tightens in my chest.

"They were going to Dive together?"

"Yes."

My mother rubs her fingers against each other.

"It was a month before Lili was born. Exactly thirty days."

The way she says it makes the date more precise than any calendar.

She looks at my sister in the bouncer.

Lili is still busy with her own hand, completely unaware that her birth has just become part of a story that started before she existed.

"I was at the end of the pregnancy," my mother continues. "I asked if he really had to go. He could get pearls and come back early. Not because I wanted to stop your father from working, but because..."

She looks at me.

"I was afraid I’d go into labor while he was still over there."

My throat tightens a little.

"What did he say?"

My mother takes a while.

When she speaks, her voice comes out smaller.

"That he’d come back."

Silence.

"He said that expedition would be short. That Arthur had gotten hold of something important and the two of them needed to deal with it before the opportunity passed."

"Something important like what?"

"He didn’t tell me."

’Of course.’

My father seems to have turned leaving out dangerous details into a family tradition.

My mother keeps going before I can ask more.

"He had a Reentry Pearl. That’s why I wanted him back fast."

That makes me lift my head a little.

"Are you sure?"

"I’m sure."

The answer comes firm for the first time before she continues.

"He said that if the expedition dragged on or anything went wrong, he’d drop everything, get to an Oathmark, and come back before the birth."

She looks at Lili again.

"He put his hand on my belly and said he wouldn’t miss his daughter’s arrival because of Thirstfall. Even with the Black Thirst curse forcing him to stay only four days, he still wouldn’t miss Lili’s arrival."

The sentence sits there in the room.

I know what came after.

Lili was born.

Alden wasn’t here. He got stuck in Lost Ark, and when he came out, he was taken. He didn’t dive at the neighborhood clinic, so we never found where his body was.

But for these six months, the simple version was the easiest one for everyone to tell my mother. Diving is dangerous. Divers disappear. Some get stuck. Some die without their family ever getting a confirmation.

Now I know my father is alive.

I know where they’ve kept him.

And I just found out that the last thing he intended to do before disappearing involved Arthur Lancaster.

My head starts running.

"Did you see Arthur that day?"

"No."

"Did he ever come here?"

"Not that I know of."

"Did Dad call him in front of you? Do you remember a surname, a company, an address, anything—"

Rhayne touches my shoulder.

That’s all.

I notice the pace of the questions.

My mother is struggling to keep up with them again.

I take her hand in both of mine.

"Sorry again."

She shakes her head.

"It’s all right."

"It isn’t. I’m making you relive the worst week of your life because I found a name."

"Den..."

"I need to know, but I can ask without running you over."

My mother looks at me for a few seconds.

Then she squeezes my hand.

"You always look like him when you’re worried."

I’m not sure whether I like that.

"Is that good?"

A smile almost appears, but it dies before it forms completely.

"Sometimes. When it eases how much I miss him."

I’ll take it.

"Did you know anything else about Arthur?"

My mother thinks.

This time the silence doesn’t feel like shock. It’s searching.

"I knew they’d already known each other for a while."

"On Earth?"

"Both places."

Rhayne leans forward a little and speaks up.

"Did Alden talk about him as someone from Thirstfall too?"

My mother looks at her.

"Yes. A few times."

"And they were friends?" I ask.

The question seems harder.

"I think so."

"Arthur called Dad his great friend."

The information surprises my mother.

"He did?"

"In a letter."

I don’t explain further. It would be unnecessary information that would only worry her more, knowing the last friend my father spoke to is dead. She takes a few seconds.

"Maybe they were."

The tone doesn’t match the certainty I expected.

"But?"

My mother leans back against the couch.

"It was just... different."

"Different how?"

She looks for an example.

"Do you remember Boris Warwick?"

"Yes. Impossible to forget him."

"Boris was your father’s friend for real. A friend in the simple, pure sense of the word."

My mother finally seems to find a way to explain it.

"When Alden talked about him, he told stories. He complained. He laughed. Sometimes he’d say Boris was an idiot and two minutes later he’d be defending something the man had done. It was that closeness of people who’ve fought together, gotten drunk together, and probably saved each other’s lives more times than either of them admits."

That sounds much closer to the kind of friendship I’d expect from Alden.

"It wasn’t like that with Arthur?"

She shakes her head.

"No."

I look at Rhayne.

My mother continues.

"Your father talked about him with concern."

"Because Arthur was in danger?"

"Maybe. He didn’t tell me that deep."

"Or because he didn’t trust him?"

"That could be it too."

She frowns.

"But, you know... it didn’t seem like fear. Not exactly suspicion, either."

"Then what?"

My mother takes longer this time.

"Son... I’d say... responsibility."

The word lands heavy.

"Responsibility?"

"That was the impression I had."

She looks at her own hands.

"When Alden talked about meeting Arthur, it seemed like anything that happened to the man would also be your father’s problem. Like there was some obligation there. Some promise."

"Did you ever ask?"

"Once."

"And?"

My mother lets out a small breath through her nose.

"Your father changed the subject. He really didn’t like talking about it with me."

’Of course he changed it. Damn it, Dad. Stubborn.’

Arthur writes in a letter that Alden was his great friend.

My mother remembers Alden talking about Arthur as someone he carried responsibility for.

And the two of them meant to enter Thirstfall together before he disappeared.

The coincidences ran out a long time ago.

"Did he say anything else that last day?" I ask.

My mother thinks.

"Nothing I remember."

Her eyes go damp, but she doesn’t cry.

"I tried to remember that conversation so many times after he didn’t come back. Every sentence. Where he was sitting. What he was wearing. Whether he seemed nervous. Whether there was something I should have noticed. At least to go looking for his body."

My hand tightens around hers.

"Mom."

"I know."

She breathes.

"After a while I stopped."

I understand her. Not because she managed to forget. Because she needed to keep functioning.

There was a pregnancy to finish. A child to be born. Another son still underage inside the house. Bills. Water. Food. And a husband who might be dead somewhere.

"Thank you," I say.

My mother looks at me.

"For what?"

"For going back into it for me."

She touches my face again, and this time there’s more presence in the gesture.

"You stayed with me when I needed it."

I don’t say anything.

"Through the rest of the pregnancy. When Lili was born. When I woke up in the middle of the night thinking maybe your father had come back and just hadn’t made it home yet."

Her voice threatens to break, but she holds it.

"You were seventeen, Den. And you walked around this apartment trying to solve things that should never have been your responsibility."

"I was the only man available."

"You were my son."

That one shuts me up while my mother runs her thumb across my cheek.

"I love you."

She looks at Lili.

"I love you both."

I hold her hand.

"We love you too."

Lili makes a random noise in the bouncer, as if she’s decided to participate.

I look at her.

"Both of us."

My mother finally smiles, small and tired.

"And I’m going to bring Dad back."

The smile shrinks.

She knows I’ve said that before. This time, though, there’s something different in my voice.

"Den..."

"I know he didn’t stay away because he wanted to."

She watches me.

I can’t explain the whole Deep Asylum now. I’ve already told her there are leads, that Garen is looking, that I believe Alden is alive. That’s enough for her to carry.

"And whoever kept him away is going to pay for it."

My mother closes her eyes for a second.

When she opens them, there’s pride mixed with a worry I’ll probably never be able to get rid of.

"Just be careful."

"I am."

"Don’t make that face."

"What face?"

"The face your father made before doing something dangerous and telling me everything was under control."

’Shit.’

"Genetically unfair."

She almost laughs.

Then she looks around the apartment.

"I’ve had one empty place in here long enough."

Her hand tightens on mine before she continues.

"I don’t want two."

This time I don’t answer with some heroic promise.

If there’s one thing I learned across two lives, it’s that promising to come back doesn’t make Thirstfall respect the promise.

"I know."

My mother nods.

She stays quiet for a few seconds and then seems to decide she’s given enough of that memory for one day.

"I need a shower."

She stands.

I do the same.

My mother straightens her clothes and looks at Rhayne.

"Can you keep an eye on Lili for a bit?"

Rhayne nods immediately.

"Of course."

My mother points at me.

"I don’t trust him."

"What did I do?"

"You keep throwing your sister in the air."

"She likes it."

"I don’t."

"You’re not the one being thrown."

My mother puts a hand on her hip.

"And it’s going to stay that way."

Rhayne brings a hand to her mouth to hide a smile.

"Fine," I say. "Domestic tyranny accepted."

"Good."

She starts walking toward the hallway.

Before going into her room, she looks at me one last time.

The smile is still there, small.

Then she disappears through the door.

A moment later I hear the bathroom close.

The room goes quiet.

Rhayne goes back over to the bouncer.

Lili grabs one of her fingers almost immediately, as if the two of them have resumed some interrupted negotiation.

I stay on my feet for a few seconds.

"So my father really did know Arthur."

Rhayne looks at me.

"On both sides."

"And he was going to meet him before that last Dive."

I sit on the couch.

"That puts Arthur a lot closer to my father’s disappearance than I’d like."

Rhayne doesn’t try to soften it.

"Or your father closer to Arthur’s death."

We both know what that sentence is worth right now.

"We need to find out what they went to deal with," she says. "And what happened after they went in."

"Yes."

I run a hand over my face.

There’s a line now.

Alden intended to meet Arthur on Earth.

Then the two of them would go in together.

Alden disappears because he ends up in Lost Ark.

When he comes out of there, at some point, he ends up in the Deep Asylum.

Arthur stays active long enough to train Rhayne, set up her meeting with me, and then disappear.

I don’t know where those lines cross. But they cross.

"When we get back to Thirstfall, if things keep moving as planned, it’s less than two weeks over there before I have a real chance of reaching my father."

Rhayne lifts her eyes.

"You’re going to ask him. Obviously."

"If the circumstances allow it, in person is the best option."

She looks at Lili.

"I think he’s going to have a lot to explain."

"This family is building a tradition."

Rhayne smiles.

The silence that follows is short.

"Den."

"Hm?"

"While you can’t talk to him... what do you think is the most important thing to find out?"

I look at her backpack.

At the letter hidden inside it.

Arthur Lancaster.

Alden.

The Academy.

The two-year deadline.

My return.

There are dozens of questions.

But one has started bothering me more than all the others.

I look at Rhayne.

"Don’t you think it’s strange that someone who came back from the future found out his own new future was already being planned by other people?"