39 — On the Brink

Mom and Freya's jaws dropped in sync.

"What?" Mom gasped.

"You did what?"

I nodded, feeling a bit of relief that it was out in the open now. The shackles of this secret were fucking gone. "Yeah, I did what you suggested, Mom. I got Calista's help to produce it, and it worked. It worked a bit too well, in fact."

Freya looked like she was trying to wrap her mind around it. "You... produced a whole song?"

"Yeah." I nodded calmly. "Calista handled most of the production. I just did the lyrics and the vocals. She was in charge of the rest."

I glanced at Calista, but she only nodded once to confirm.

"My lord..." Willow uttered, clutching a hand to her chest.

"You said your song was on SoundWave?" Freya furrowed her brows. "And that it became popular?"

"A lot of people really like it so far." I admitted vaguely, because reciting what some of the commenters on SoundWave were saying was something she really shouldn't hear. Not that I hadn't prepared an executive summary. "So, yeah, I think it's safe to say it did reach the masses."

"There's something you're not telling me." Freya had a serious expression on. "Just how popular are we talking about here?"

"My lord..." Willow was in a world of her own.

"The feedback was overwhelming."

"Damien..." Freya began in a voice filled with tension, clearly having reached some sort of conclusion based on her observations."What kind of song did you write exactly?"

Calista also turned to look at me, wondering how I'd go about this. I was on my own here, even if my damn accomplice was right next to me with a bored expression.

"It's called 'On My Knees'." I licked my parched lips. "And it's a romantic-ish love song that includes a... very honest and unashamed ode to fellatio."

Freya's hand darted forward and closed off Willow's mouth before the screams could come out. She leaned in closer to whisper in the lady's ear, presumably to get her to settle the fuck down. 

Willow was shaking, staring at me with teary eyes and a twitch that appeared to go to her throat. I could literally see the emotions pass over her face one after the other.

"My... son wrote that song. And he sang it."

"Pretty much." I agreed.

"Good gracious, give me a break...!" Willow placed a hand over her eyes, sighing, and muttering incomprehensible curses under her breath, just barely audible for the human ear. "Freya... oh God, Freya." She turned to the other lady with her palms coming together to pray. "Did I ruin my son? Did I? Oh, I've brought this calamity to my family, oh, what sin, what sin has this mother done?"

Aunt Freya looked like she had no energy left to even be amused by Mom's histrionics. She simply rested a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Willow. Settle down."

Mom drew a sharp breath and composed herself, facing me. "Damien... I... I honestly have no clue how to react to this."

I could tell.

"You won't ground me for the rest of my life?"

Freya coughed once. "This isn't quite the situation where we can send him to bed without dinner."

"You wrote a song about..." Willow struggled to even articulate. "What have I taught you, son? Why, for heaven's sake..." Her hand shot up to grab my face, inspecting it closely. "I... Damien... why?"

"Well..."

'Not even I fully know the answer to that.'

How could I begin to explain how crazy this was to me as well. 

The most logical course of action for someone who wants to capitalize off a situation, is to hide until the storm has passed.

That would have made a lot of sense, if the damn music was just mediocre. This situation would've probably lasted 24 to 48 hours, before people moved onto the next hot thing that would have replaced the fleeting interest of song.

But what I did was create the type of song that was not easy to forget, and not because it was a masterpiece, but the message it conveyed was exactly what people in this world wanted.

It was what women in general had wanted.

It was something no man was willing to provide.

Thus, the media attention was inevitable. 

I was a scumbag who decided to push the world towards the path of damnation, and I was a motherfucker who'd keep the girls sated by feeding them lines and ideas that appeal to their hopelessness.

"Because... love is supposed to be a two-way street." I explained. "Because it doesn't matter which side of the genders you're on. Love, and everything that comes with it, is not a one-sided effort, and as far as I've seen, it's usually been the woman giving and giving while men receive."

If she had heard the song and dissected it line by line, she'd have found out it had less to do with love and more with personal satisfaction, but hey, call it emotional immaturity, lack of proper judgement, or being led by my loins and balls... whatever. I'd take responsibility, but I still couldn't resist this opportunity.

'Is that so terrible of a sin?'

Willow studied me intensely, her hand never leaving my face. There was a clear conflict within her. Her gaze was scrutinizing and pleading at once. "Son... what are we to do with you?"

A valid question, indeed.

I've reached a breaking point where nothing really felt impossible. If I wasn't caught or locked up by the time tomorrow's evening hits, then I should be free of any consequences or limitations, assuming things went even further into chaos. 

"Damien." Freya drew my attention to her. "I must insist on getting your honest opinion. What, exactly, do you intend to achieve from doing this?"

"Everything and anything I can."

"......"

"This is the way I honestly feel, Mom. Aunt. I sang this with the full conviction and knowledge of who the listener will be, so they can't misunderstand me or my message. I mean every word."

Willow closed her eyes and sighed softly.

Freya turned to look at Calista. "Why didn't you try to stop him?"

"I tried, but he insisted." She said casually. "Figured it would've been better if I was the one in control rather than leaving the fate of the song in a stranger's hands, who wouldn't have certainly kept them to herself." Calista glanced at me. "Damien is... pretty determined about what he wants to do, and it wasn't my right to deny him of that."

"And you fully support his decision?"

"As a producer, it's my duty to help the artist realize their vision. As his sister... well, I have my fair share of concerns." She shrugged.

Freya nodded, then looked at me. "The song. Let me hear it."

"......"

I sighed as I pulled it up and played it. 'Here it goes, folks.'

With a volume that was suitable for indoor listening, I let the song fill the air. I didn't dare look at Mom or Aunt Freya as the lyrics flowed through.

xXx

I made my not-so-subtle escape out of the room the moment the song concluded.

The expression on their faces told me all I needed to know. They were still processing the whole thing.

I found myself in front of Calista's room, a guitar in my hand. That damn girl had left the moment the song started. Probably couldn't take the tension and decided to lock herself away until the dust settled.

I knocked twice.

"What?"

She snapped from the other side.

I opened the door. "Hey."

"Oh, please, come right in." Calista huffed. "Wouldn't want you waiting on something as silly as an actual invitation."

"My apologies, milady. Is it my humble company you're so averse to or your insurmountable guilt from not having supported me enough when I needed it the most?"

"I've supported you enough."

I snorted, closing the door behind me. The curtains were drawn in her room. A batcave lit by the soft blue glow of her computer monitor, and an ashtray with at least three cigarette butts in it.

"Mom and Aunt are having a mental breakdown downstairs."

"Are they, now?" Calista pulled her attention away from the screen and stared at the guitar in my hand. "You don't seem the least bit remorseful."

"Not remorseful, no. I knew what was bound to happen from the start." I shook my head as I made my way across the room to sit down opposite of her. "They'll either get it or not, but it won't change the fact that I released the song. Well, since everything's out in the open now... I won't hold back."

Calista frowned. "They'll insist you to take it down. Probably Mom. No. Scratch that, definitely Mom."

"Probably too late for that. But that's not really why I'm here." I laid the instrument out in my hands, watching her silently.

"What do you mean?" Calista eyed me warily.

"I'm serious about this. I'm willing to give the industry a go, no matter what happens." I glanced down at the guitar. "But you need to decide if you're with me or not, and I need your support more than ever."

"My support?"

"If I can't even count on you, it's over."

There was a short pause where Calista only watched me.

"Damn, are you going to serenade me with more lyrics about putting things in mouths or did you run out of creativity after that single song?" She smiled, her eyes glittering with amusement. It could've been a mocking smile or perhaps genuine. It was difficult to tell sometimes. "Are you really going to serenade me if I say no?"

"Hmm." I nodded, plucking a single string. "I can if it means convincing you."

Calista laughed.

I couldn't help but return her laugh with a small chuckle of my own. There was just something about her that I couldn't stand. That air of superiority she wore all the time around others. 

It was an attractive quality, one that I just knew would completely dissolve when pinned down on the bed with her legs spread wide.

A mirthful, disbelieving laugher.

"Just..." I watched Calista roll her eyes. "Get to it already."

Her blonde hair covered most of her face as she gave me her back again, focusing on the screen of her computer. Oh, so now she was ignoring me? 

I strummed the strings lightly. I ran through several options in my head, before settling on one; I'd been practicing several songs already, just to test out my own skill and see how far I could really go.

This time, the opening chord to one of my most-listened to song in my past life would be a good option, at least in my mind. It wasn't something as vulgar as the other songs I was thinking of.

I hummed lightly, my fingers easily running through the opening verse of this impromptu guitar version. "I'm findin' ways to articulate the feeling I'm goin' through...♪"

"I just can't say I don't love you...♪"

"'Cause I love you, yeah...♪"

My voice was lower than when I sang 'On My Knees'.

Calista went still, almost instantly.

"You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry...♪"

"You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night...♪"

"I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time...♪"

"I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love...♪"

I continued to sing through the entire verse, enjoying the way her head slowly tilted backward, the way a couple of her curls slipped free of her blonde ponytail. I could imagine a shudder wracking its way down her spine. She'd gotten it. That sensual build, the painstaking crescendo towards the chorus. And was now wheeling around to give me a surprised look.

"Wh–"

I cut her off, raising my voice a bit. "I try to find a reason to pull us apart...♪"

"It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect...♪"

"And I know that you're worth it~♪"

"I can't walk away, oh~♪"

I had to stop halfway through the beginning of the chorus when I saw tears streaming down her cheeks and her face all scrunched up like a crumpled piece of paper.

"Calista, what… are you—"

She glared at me, wiping at her eyes. "Are you actually fucking playing with me, Damien. Is that what it is?"

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