Chapter 175: Not a hallucination

AYLA

"What are you..." My voice trembled. "How are you..."

I did not finish either question. My hands came up and I grabbed the front of his tunic, pulling him to me. I pressed my face into his chest and breathed him in and did not care that I was crying.

His hand came up to the back of my head and his fingers tangled in my hair.

"Oh, goddess, Ayla." His voice cracked against my ear. "I have missed you so much."

A sob tore out of me.

I had missed him too.

"I thought I would never see you again." I pulled away from him slightly to look up at his face.

I touched his cheek,tracing the line of his jaw with trembling fingers.

"I am hallucinating you, aren’t I?" I said. "This isn’t real."

My fingers moved over his face again, desperate to prove to myself that he was there.

This is another simulation from whatever Amara had done, and I am imagining you here and real with..."

He kissed me.

He put his hand on the back of my neck, pulled me in, and his mouth came down on mine. His tongue swept into my mouth, and the taste of him flooded me. I made a sound against his mouth, a sound I did not recognize, and my hands came up and fisted in his hair, as he backed me against the door.

His body pressed into mine, all hard muscle and heat, and I could feel the beat of his heart.

"Not a hallucination," Ares said when he broke the kiss.

I opened my eyes slowly.

"Ares," I murmured. "You are really here."

"I am really here." His voice was rough. "Did you think I would not come for you?"

I laughed weakly through my tears.

I opened my mouth to say something, and the world went black.

I jolted awake, my head throbbing and my breathing, ragged.

"What..." I pressed a hand against my chest, looking around the room.

There was only me... there was no Ares. My lips still tingled and there was a warmth between my legs, a dampness I recognized. I could still taste him, still feel the pressure of his body against mine, the rough catch of his lips, the way his hand had tangled in my hair.

I had dreamed him.

"No." I closed my eyes, covering my face with both hands.

Was it a full moon today?

Maybe that was it. Maybe my hormones were simply out of control.

Maybe...

A knock sounded at my door.

"Ares?"

I practically flew off the bed, my heart surging with ridiculous hope.

I rushed toward the door and pulled it open but instead of Ares, Willow stood there, her face completely straight.

The disappointment hit me so quickly that I almost laughed at myself.

Willow raised an eyebrow.

"Lucius wants to see you."

My stomach tightened.

"Why?"

"I have no idea. He would not say." Her eyes flicked to the guard at the end of the corridor, and then back to me, and there was a warning in them.

"I will be with you shortly," I said.

I closed the door and leaned against it.

Lucius wanted to see me and that was never good.

I dressed quickly in a simple gown and tied my hair backwards.

When I opened the door, the guard was still there but Willow was gone.

He gestured for me to follow and I walked beside him.

Every step toward Lucius’s study made my stomach twist but I kept my face calm. I had become very good at pretending.

When we reached the study, the guard opened the door and I stepped inside.

Lucius stood beside the window and Alistair whom I had not seen in a while was sitting in one of the chairs.

My gaze moved between them. It was still freaky how perfectly identical they were that you could mistake one for the other. It was how Lucius had been able to take Alistair’s place without anyone including Soren being the wiser.

"You wanted to see me?"

Lucius turned.

"Yes, darling." He came toward me. "I have plans to honor my family’s death with a feast."

His eyes watched me carefully.

He was still doing this, trying to test me with things he knows I should not remember but hopes I do so he can confirm my loss of memory.

"Your family’s death," I said, in the careful, confused tone of a woman who did not remember.

"Oh, of course you do not remember." He stopped in front of me and put a hand on my cheek. His thumb stroked my skin. "Yes. My family were executed, safe for Alistair and I. Tomorrow is the anniversary of their death, and I wonder if you can host a feast in their honor as Luna."

"Of course." I leaned into his touch. "I am so sorry about their deaths."

He accepted my sympathy with a nod and his hand dropped from my face.

"We would need to go over how it is going to be, and the list of people who will be allowed into the palace."

"Of course," I said again.

I drew nearer to him.

Just then I heard a voice call my name.

Ayla.

I had heard it as clear as if someone had spoken in my ear.

Ares’ voice, in my head, the way he used to speak to me through the bond.

But that was not possible. The bond was gone, Amara had made sure of that and even if it were not gone, he would have to be nearby to use it, and he was not. He was at the borders, miles away, with his army.

I looked around the room, my eyes landed on the guards. There were three of them, standing against the wall with their helmets on and their hands at their sides. They were just guards.

"Is everything all right?" Lucius said.

"Yes," I said quickly. "I thought I heard something."

I glanced around the room again. My heart was beating too fast and my skin felt too tight. I made myself look back at Lucius, and I made myself smile.

"It is nothing," I said.

Was I imagining this again? Hearing Ares in my head?

I heard a low chuckle again.

It’s me. I am here with you.

I gasped, my hands flew to my mouth a second too late.

Lucius’ eyes narrowed.

"What is it?" he said.

His voice had gone cold.

Think! I needed an excuse.

My mind raced.

Then I remembered something. Something that would make a man like Lucius want me out of his study immediately.

"I think I just got my woman cycle," I said. The words tumbled out of me. "I should.... I need to..."

I gestured vaguely toward the door.

His nose crinkled up in disgust. "Yes. Go."

He waved a hand at the guard by the door. "See to it she makes it to her room safe."

I practically ran out of the study.

The moment I stepped into the corridor, I heard the guard’s footsteps behind me then I felt his hand slip into the crook of my arm.

I froze as his fingers closed around my elbow. He leaned in, his mouth so close to my ear.

"Hey," he whispered.

I stopped breathing. My heart nearly exploded right out of my chest.

Ares.

It was him... he was here.

"Don’t turn around" he murmured.

I stared straight ahead, my hands curling into fists.

"Just keep walking," he whispered. "Two guards are behind us."

I forced myself to keep moving.

"How?" I asked.

"Alistair."

Alistair? How did that happen?

I kept walking until we rounded the corner to my room.

"I have got it from here." Ares called out to the two other guards following us.

I waited until their footsteps disappeared around the corner before I turned to Ares.

He had the helmet on so I could see nothing except his glittering green eyes.

"Come." I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward my room.

I opened the door and we stepped inside, locking it behind us.

I turned around to Ares still standing there in that ridiculous helmet and armor, staring at me.

My hands rose, touching the sides of his helmet.

"Let me see you." I said, my voice catching. " This cannot be a dream again"

I lifted it from his head.

His dark hair was slightly flattened underneath. I tossed the helmet to the ground and I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him.

He held me tightly, almost as if he was afraid I would disappear if he loosened his grip.

When we finally broke apart, I rested my forehead against his.

I was crying and I did not even care.

"I missed you." His thumb brushed beneath my eye.

"I missed you too." I laughed through my tears. "You have no idea."

"I am going to get you out of here, Ayla"