Chapter 223: Ayla’s Dilemma

AYLA

Two Days Before Soren’s Funeral

A soft knock came at my door.

"Ayla, can I come in?"

Amara.

Of all the people who could have come knocking on my door, she was the last person I wanted to see.

I closed the book and placed it on the table beside me.

For the past few days, I had done my best to avoid her. It was not particularly difficult, considering Ares had suspended my training.

Amara had not been pleased about that.

In fact, the last time I saw her, she had looked as though she wanted to strangle someone.

I had expected her to come arguing about it eventually.

Perhaps that was why she was here.

"Ayla?" she called again.

I sighed.

I could pretend to be asleep. That would be the easiest thing to do but then again, I did not want her to suspect that I was deliberately avoiding her not when I had already begun wondering whether she had something to do with the strange things happening to me.

I had told Damon about my suspicions, and he had promised to speak with Ares and Cassian.

They had listened, at least, enough to suspend my training but that did not mean we had any proof against Amara and until we did, I had to be careful.

If she was truly responsible for the memory gaps and the strange things I had been experiencing, then the last thing I wanted was for her to realize that I was beginning to suspect her.

I pushed myself off the bed.

"Coming."

I crossed the room and opened the door.

Amara stood outside holding a small bowl in both hands, and there was a faint smile on her face.

I looked from her to the bowl then back at her.

"Good evening, Ayla."

"Good evening."

She hesitated.

"Can I come in?"

I considered telling her I was tired and I had a headache so I was about to go to bed.

All three would have been believable excuses but I stepped aside instead.

"Of course."

"Thank you." Amara smiled.

She walked past me and entered the room.

I closed the door behind her.

She moved toward the small table near the window and placed the bowl gently on it.

"What brings you here?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"I brought you something." she turned toward me.

My gaze moved to the bowl.

"What is it?"

"A brew. It should help with your headaches and the dizziness you have been experiencing."

I looked at the bowl again.

The liquid inside was dark brown, and I could see a few tiny leaves floating near the surface. There was a faint smell coming from it.

An awkward silence settled between us.

I could tell she was waiting for me to say something. Perhaps she expected me to ask about training.

"Ayla." Amara sighed. "I know things have been rather difficult between us lately. I also know that you have not been particularly pleased with my insistence on your training. I have been thinking about everything that has happened, and I realize now that perhaps I have been putting too much pressure on you."

I blinked.

That was not what I had expected her to say.

Amara continued.

"I have been so focused on helping you harness your powers that I seem to have forgotten everything else. You have been through a great deal, Ayla."

Her voice was unusually gentle.

"You only recently escaped Lucius. You were held captive, manipulated, and forced to endure things no one should ever have to endure. You are still recovering from that experience, and instead of allowing you time to heal, I have been insisting that you begin another difficult journey."

She moved closer.

"Your powers are unlike anything most people have ever seen. There is so much energy brewing inside you, Ayla, and training is the best way to learn how to release and control it... but that does not mean I should force you into it. You are still so young... a mere child and I realize now how unfair everything must seem to you."

Something tightened in my chest.

"I am sorry, Ayla," Amara said. "And I hope you see that I am only trying to help."

I swallowed, struggling to find words.

"Goddess," she murmured, her eyes sad. "You look so much like Morgana."

I blinked at her.

"Anyway, I should leave you to rest. Drink that while it is still warm. It should help."

She began walking toward the door.

"Amara?" I called out.

She stopped and turned.

"About Morgana." I hesitated. "Did she ever experience the dizziness too or headaches? Was it the same with her?"

Amara nodded slowly.

"She did experience dizziness occasionally and headaches but never the memory gaps... but I would say that was because she had been trained from childhood. Morgana knew what she was from a very young age. She understood the nature of her powers, and she was taught how to control them long before they became overwhelming."

I frowned.

"So she never had to worry about losing control?"

"Oh, she worried."

Amara smiled faintly.

"Everyone worries when they are responsible for something as powerful as what she possessed but she had years of preparation."

I looked down at my hands.

Morgana had been trained for years and here I was, barely understanding the powers I had been given.

No wonder everything felt so difficult.

Perhaps Amara had been right about training all along. Perhaps she had simply been trying to help me understand something I was too afraid to face.

And I was distrustful of her because Soren said so?

Was I really going to take his word over Amara’s?

"What is it?" Amara asked, drawing nearer. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking that perhaps..."

A knock interrupted me.

"Who is it?" I asked turning toward the door which opened immediately.

My mother stepped inside.

"Ayla, darling, I hope I am not disturbing..."

She stopped, her gaze landing on Amara.

The smile disappeared from her face.