Chapter 1989 - 1570: Shake the Chest, Nourish the Four Seas?

"It’s fine, it’s fine, I just slapped too hard, my chest hurts!"

Gu Changsheng honestly really didn’t want to explain...

But seeing her own evildoer and Shi Wujue both genuinely worried, like if she didn’t clarify the reason they’d come over and do a physical exam or something!

Stop messing around, this really is something you can’t check!

Is having a big chest her fault? Gu Changsheng felt this was one blame she absolutely could not take. She might never have aspired to become a woman whose boobs sway and milk the Four Seas, but the vast waves on her chest were an undeniable fact!

And the only reason she started coughing was because she’d just been talking way too heroically, and for a moment forgot to control her strength, so she slapped her own chest a bit too hard and it hurt, that’s all...

Damn it, this really wasn’t her fault...

"..." Hearing this, Zhou Mu’s hand that was patting Gu Changsheng’s back suddenly froze...

"Cough, cough..." As for Shi Wujue, he covered his lips and fake-coughed twice, then immediately turned his head to the other side...

This woman!

This woman!

Zhou Mu ground his teeth at Gu Changsheng. That face like a Divine Residence was full of helplessness. There really was nothing this woman didn’t dare say!

"..." Yuan Bao looked up and pressed a hand to his forehead, wordlessly questioning the ceiling.

Godfather’s Fourth Auntie Grandma, can anyone tell him where his wife’s brain holes actually come from?

What does "absolutely no taboos" mean?

Does his own wife seriously not know what "taboo" is?

Even something like "my chest hurts," she can announce so openly and righteously. Yuan Bao had only one word: he conceded!

"What? What now? What’s with all your faces? Is it wrong to tell the truth?" Gu Changsheng finally eased the stuffy pain in her chest and stopped coughing. Looking at her evildoer and Shi Wujue and the others all with expressions like they’d been choked, the corner of her mouth twitched.

With these ancient people, Gu Changsheng honestly didn’t know what to say.

What, you hurt your own chest and you’re not allowed to say it?

A bunch of pervy degenerates!

Hmph!

She’s the purest person in the whole world!

See, she’s not dirty-minded at all, she absolutely doesn’t think about illicit things or stare at illicit places...

Because she doesn’t even need to think—she can just reach out and touch!

Hahaha...

"You..." Zhou Mu pointed at Gu Changsheng, wanting to scold her a bit, but when he saw how pale she looked, the hand he’d raised dropped back down and he didn’t say a word.

In the end, he just couldn’t bring himself to speak harshly to this woman!

Zhou Mu had pretty much realized it now: this woman was his nemesis for life!

Before he met her, he kept away from women, cold and aloof. After he met her, everything turned into nonsense!

"Hehe..." Seeing her evildoer like this, how could Gu Changsheng not know what he wanted to say? She hurriedly put on a fawning grin and spoke ingratiatingly, "So, evildoer, this kind of robbing and looting job really doesn’t suit you. It clashes way too much with your temperament. Stuff like this, you should decisively open the door and let me out on the job!"

"Your health is bad." Zhou Mu slanted a glance at the little woman in front of him and shook his head.

Let her go steal the Seven Apertures Exquisite Lamp?

Don’t even think about it. Her current body couldn’t stand any tossing around. Zhou Mu wished he could hide her away and treat her injuries properly before he’d feel at ease.

"It’s only my Divine Soul that’s injured; my body is tough as hell!" Gu Changsheng said, slapping her chest the moment she heard this.

Only, with the last incident as a lesson, this time Gu Changsheng finally remembered: her hand did lift toward her chest, but she consciously reduced the force by a few degrees!

Ay...

Flat chests are great. Flat chests not only save fabric for the country, they also spare you the hassle of slapping yourself and getting hurt!

On this point, all Gu Changsheng could say was: big-boob problems, flat-chested girls just don’t get it!

Zhou Mu noticed his little woman’s small movements. The corner of his mouth couldn’t help but twitch. He pulled his gaze away from Gu Changsheng and tried hard to forget the scene he’d just witnessed...

This woman really was lawless and boundless!

"Is there any difference? When you’re a patient, you should act like a patient!" Zhou Mu remained unmoved and refused.

"The difference is huge. At the very least, at the very least, I’ve got the highest martial arts among us!" Gu Changsheng instantly got all eager the moment she heard that.

Hey, she was an out-and-out expert beyond the Transformative Realm!

Strength proves everything, doesn’t it?

"So, you’re trying to challenge this king and compare skills with me?" Zhou Mu turned back when he heard that, glaring at Gu Changsheng.

"Heh heh..." Gu Changsheng immediately gave an awkward laugh.

Uh...

Now this is embarrassing, isn’t it?

Bragging doesn’t get taxed, but if it actually comes down to a real duel, while Gu Changsheng felt her strength might be just a tiny bit higher than her evildoer’s, she wasn’t at all sure what level her evildoer truly was...

Anyway, her evildoer was seriously troublesome, an extremely troublesome existence!

Gu Changsheng definitely wouldn’t be stupid enough to go looking to get abused for no reason!

"Well, I’m the patient here..." Gu Changsheng pulled an awkward face, trying to use that status to dodge and avoid having to compete with her own evildoer.

Of course, she also knew her evildoer was only saying that to make her give up the idea.

"As long as you still remember you’re a patient, good! Then sit down and drink your porridge like a good girl!" Zhou Mu’s expression finally improved a little at that. He tugged the standing Gu Changsheng back down onto the seat and pushed the bowl back in front of her...

"Oh..." Gu Changsheng accepted it meekly, looking utterly aggrieved. "Can I at least have some dishes?"

The chopsticks in Gu Changsheng’s hand unconsciously drifted toward a plate of beef.

"No. Drink your porridge."

Zhou Mu’s answer was simple and brutal.

Gu Changsheng was about to burst into tears...

"Then I can at least have a bun, right..." Gu Changsheng tried to compromise, conceding land and paying reparations.

"No." Zhou Mu didn’t even lift his head.

"Why not?"

"Because the bun has meat filling."

"If it’s not meat-filled, can you even still call it a bun?" Gu Changsheng slapped the table.

Damn it, just how long was she supposed to stay a vegetarian nun?

Seriously, this bland watery diet was really not letting a person live properly!

"Of course it’s still called a bun!" Zhou Mu turned his head, slanted a look at Gu Changsheng, and said with supreme calm, "It’s called a veggie bun."

"Then get me a dozen veggie buns at least?" Gu Changsheng ground her teeth.

"No." Zhou Mu shook his head, refusing.

"Why?"

"Because this isn’t the Heavenly Palace. There’s no one here whose job is to cook just for you." Zhou Mu’s reply was very indifferent.

"..." Gu Changsheng pointed at Zhou Mu, completely at a loss for words!

Damn it, don’t push her!

Seriously, don’t push her!

If you push her too far, even she doesn’t know what she might end up doing!

"Fine! Then let’s hurry up and eat!" But in the next second Gu Changsheng made up her mind, plopped her butt back down and started shoveling food into her mouth!

Eat fast, she had to eat fast—this kind of life, she really didn’t want to spend even one more second in it!

"..." Zhou Mu tilted his head, watching the woman wolfing food down, eating with zero elegance. He thought for a bit, then still opened his mouth. "All right, and what’s with you now?"

Just now it was chest pain and coughing, and now she was stuffing herself like a starved Ghost, so was it stomach pain?

"I’m going to hurry up and finish eating, then hurry up and go rob and plunder, and snatch back that whatever-it’s-called Seven Apertures Exquisite Lamp as fast as possible!" Gu Changsheng was scooping porridge while grinding her teeth. "I’m done being a patient. I want meat, I want to get better fast!"

Exactly, that was her real goal!

As someone who couldn’t live without meat, having no meat to eat was basically a death sentence!

She refused to let this tragedy drag on any further.

"...Fine." Zhou Mu watched Gu Changsheng for quite a while before finally nodding helplessly.

Thus, that meal, under Gu Changsheng’s gale-force devouring and relentless urging, was eaten at a very impressive speed.

After eating, Gu Changsheng immediately followed Zhou Mu and Shi Wujue out of the room.

"Why are you following us? Go back and sleep like a good girl!" Zhou Mu frowned at the woman tailing him step for step.

"Of course I’m coming. I’m the only one used to doing this kind of thing, the only one who knows the ropes!" Gu Changsheng blinked her big eyes, speaking with absolute certainty.

Her evildoer and Shi Wujue—those two peerlessly elegant men?

Robbery?

Yeah, sure, pull the other one!

Besides, that old crone who forged the Seven Apertures Exquisite Lamp—her man died, and then for the sake of a single weapon she shut herself away and didn’t go out for fifty years. FIFTY years. What kind of state would an old granny be in after losing touch with the world for fifty years?

Gu Changsheng didn’t even dare imagine!

"You absolutely have to let me come along. Think about it—a Smelting Master who hasn’t gone out in fifty years and is still very capable; what kind of twisted mess do you think her heart has become? You two running over there all eager and offering yourselves up, what if she takes a fancy to you and keeps you on as her Bandit Chief’s Husband? That would be losing both the man and the lamp! No way, no way, I have to come protect you!" Gu Changsheng’s reasoning was thoroughly prepared, leaving Zhou Mu and Shi Wujue zero room to object.

It’s just, while her words sounded very sincere, the little expressions on her face carried more than a bit of gloating, and it was really kind of an eyesore to look at.

"But how is it that to this king, it looks like you’re very much hoping this king and Shi Wujue get kept by that Jiu Yu?" Zhou Mu frowned; with one look he saw through what his little woman was thinking!

"Yes, that’s exactly what I think too!" Almost the moment Zhou Mu finished speaking, Shi Wujue nodded in agreement. The look he gave Gu Changsheng was as suspicious as it could possibly be.

Immersed in her fantasy of the mighty Jiu Yu snatching away her evildoer and Shi Wujue, Gu Changsheng had already equipped that Jiu Yu in her mind with candles and a little whip...

If those two got carried off, that would be perfect—there’d be no one left stopping her from eating meat!

Sadly, before Gu Changsheng finished her mental daydream, the two men dragged her back to reality. Snapping out of it, Gu Changsheng immediately raised her hand, ready to slap her chest in guarantee. "How could I! You’re imagining things! It’s all in your heads!"

But just as Gu Changsheng’s words came out, the hand she was about to smack down on her chest was caught by Zhou Mu!

"What are you doing?" Gu Changsheng blinked.

"You’re using too much strength." Zhou Mu said with utter calm...