Chapter 204: Recurrent Doubts

Moon, while still in the ring under the rules of the Skirmish Ring, found Roran questioning him about whether he was willing to fight.

If anything, it was an obvious challenge to him, who had fought and won against almost everyone in the facility under unfavorable conditions every single time.

Everyone was fighting under unfavorable conditions, considering they didn’t bring any weapons or couldn’t use any Echo.

Most of the time, at least...

Still...

Moon fought once against fifty or so, then with a crippled foot against thirty or so more. The next week, he fought armored guys who used Echo, and Dara, who had universal armor.

The week after, he went against Talia, who was so tanky thanks to her attributes and stats.

Ed tried to give Moon some advantages, but he swallowed them and produced nothing, and that was already getting on his nerves.

His face didn’t get enough time to heal, and Roran came to the ring with his face looking as smooth as a glass surface, to nag him that he won a fight.

Moon felt nothing but challenged, in a fighting ring at that.

His face contorted into something that didn’t look human anymore; the hooligan in him emerged again, swiftly and threateningly.

Crack~

"You don’t even know how to mind your own business." Moon cracked his knuckles. "Since we’re already in the ring, how about I teach you some manners?"

A smile crawled onto Moon’s face as he held the armrests and was about to stand.

"Bro, don’t be like this," Roran tried to speak his way out once again.

"Who’s your bro?" Moon slowly straightened up. "I don’t remember having a bitch like you for a bro."

Roran at this moment realized it: he was on bad terms with Moon before, and now he was on worse.

If there was anything he knew for sure, it was that he fucked up.

Roran instantly stood; the Echo hue around his legs gathered. "Let’s talk after you’ve calmed down a little; I broke the skirmish rules anyway." He shrugged and sprinted out.

Or more like, he lifted his foot and was outside the ring the next moment. His speed was so fast that Moon squinted his eyes involuntarily.

He fell back into his seat. "Dammit, every single one of them is weirder than the next," he exclaimed bitterly.

With Roran’s visit over, no one else came for the remaining few minutes left of the round.

With that, Uon stepped forward.

"At last," Moon said, feeling liberated.

"Announcing the conclusion of the Skirmish Ring fourth round, the last, and the end of the Special Quest of the Southern branch," he spoke in a voice that reached every ear.

"The winner of the Quest’s four consecutive rounds..." He extended his arm and pointed. "Ascender Moon!" he announced to everyone.

"Way to go, Boss!"

"King Moon for the win!"

Rounds of violent applause rang out from every seat.

Moon stood and looked around; his eyes were more confused than proud or excited. He watched everyone shouting and clapping their hands the hardest.

Moon watched, feeling a heaviness settle in his chest.

’Do I deserve this, to stand here and win?’ he asked himself. ’What if, since the beginning, these rounds were based on Echo? Would I have won?’

Conflicted about his path, his wins, and his future, Moon stood in the middle of the cheers, watching with shaken eyes.

Small, too small compared to the numbers, to the people, and to their backgrounds.

He felt like he was drowning under their shadows; the ring was made of quicksand, swallowing him whole.

The sense of fear and insignificance was clutching at his heart, spreading through his chest.

"Maybe... maybe I should have died there with them. I don’t think I can do this," he whispered to himself slowly.

"The hell are you talking about, you pig?" Ed’s voice came to his ears. "Come to Hall 3 and stop wasting time."

Moon blinked; the drowning sensation loosened. He exhaled sharply. "Fuck, that’s embarrassing," he cursed before waving at the crowd and running to Hall 3.

Pushing the door open as usual, he saw the hole Mishu made was also gone.

As soon as he entered, he was faced with Ed’s sharp gaze. "Care to explain what exactly is going on?"

Moon pursed his lips. He didn’t know what to say; he’d been facing these weird situations only after leaving the first floor.

A chair crawled behind Moon. "Sit!" Ed said. "Take your time and place this into words you can speak and I can understand."

Moon locked his fingers and leaned forward. He went silent for a long moment, but Ed left him be.

This wasn’t any less important than getting him to be functional enough for the trial.

"I, erm, I’m not exactly sure," Moon said slowly. "After leaving the first floor, many things happened; it was like my life so far was a nightmare, or a lie."

Moon raised his gaze. "The day I came here, everything began to feel like..." He went silent again.

His eyes drifted over the room. "Everyone is strong, too strong... I’m tricking them by fighting without Echo to win," Moon said straightforwardly.

He shook his head. "I’m not sure; I don’t think I have what it takes to survive once we leave this place."

Moon’s mouth twitched weakly into something resembling a smile that failed to take shape. "I’m too weak; I tricked everyone to win, nothing else."

"Are you afraid?" Ed asked.

Moon tightened his locked hands. He clenched his jaw tightly before finally nodding.

"What are you afraid of exactly?" Ed asked.

Moon went silent; he was searching for an answer.

"Are you afraid of getting beaten, or afraid of being defeated?" Ed tried to help him find an answer.

But his first two guesses failed to hit the mark. "Or maybe, of failure?" Ed asked.

Moon’s eyes shook; Ed caught that.

"Are you afraid of failing and bringing everyone down with you?" Ed asked him again.

Moon’s body stiffened, but he still didn’t answer.

"If that’s the case, give up the king’s role," Ed said.

Moon’s gaze whipped toward Ed, his eyes wide.

"What, you’re too proud and incompetent at the same time?" Ed asked, his tone turning playful.

"The hell are you talking about? After everything, do you want me to give it up?" Moon forced his words through gritted teeth.

"You’re the one who’s unsure about his qualifications; why are you blaming me?" Ed shrugged. "I never doubted you to begin with; you’re the one doubting yourself."

Moon’s mouth opened. "I—" but no words came out. "I..." Once again he tried, but he failed to say anything.

Ed, as familiar as he was with the problems people in Moon’s place would usually face, was trying to take the role of that friend who would make fun of the troubled one.

These friends are the essence of coping with the Tower’s brutality.

Ed knew that Moon secretly blamed himself for the death of his brothers on the first floor; he thought every day that he was weak, incompetent, and drove them to their deaths.

He knew that thanks to the time he spent with Moon.

Moon was more afraid of finding everything he’d been given here evaporate overnight, like things fell apart once before thanks to one failure.

Yet, Ed didn’t attack him again; instead—

Ed laughed. "I agree with the part where you said you were a gold-swallowing pig, though."