Chapter 123: Founder’s ball XVIII

Chapter 123: Chapter 123: Founder’s ball XVIII

The balcony doors closed softly behind them.

For a moment, neither spoke.

The distant strains of the orchestra drifted through the warm summer night, carried by a gentle breeze that stirred the gardens below.

Vivienne exhaled slowly.

A smile found its way to her lips before she could stop it.

Finally.

They were truly alone.

She glanced sideways at Anthony.

He was looking toward the gardens, his profile illuminated by the moonlight.

The faint flush that had risen to his ears after she had kissed his cheek had yet to completely disappear.

The sight made her heart swell.

He’s still embarrassed.

The realization filled her with a ridiculous amount of happiness.

Perhaps...

That kiss hadn’t been as one-sided as she’d feared.

Without thinking too much about it, she stepped closer until their sleeves brushed together.

"...Anthony."

He turned.

"Yes?"

She smiled.

"I’ve wanted a moment like this all evening."

There was something wonderfully ordinary about saying those words.

No schemes.

No pretending.

Just honesty.

Unable to resist, she gently slipped her hand around his arm.

He stiffened.

She noticed—but only enough to find it endearing.

With a soft laugh, she rested her head lightly against his shoulder.

"I was beginning to think everyone in the ballroom had decided we weren’t allowed a private conversation."

For one brief heartbeat...

Neither moved.

Then...

Anthony carefully untangled her fingers from his sleeve.

Not abruptly.

Not harshly.

Almost apologetically.

He took a single step backward.

The warmth between them disappeared.

Vivienne blinked.

"...Anthony?"

His expression had changed.

The faint embarrassment that had colored his features moments before had given way to something quieter.

More serious.

"...Lady Beaumont."

Her smile faltered.

"There you go again."

She tried to laugh.

"We’re alone."

"There isn’t anyone here to overhear us."

Her voice softened.

"You don’t have to call me Lady Beaumont."

A tiny pause.

"...Just call me Vivienne."

Anthony was silent.

His gaze lingered on her for several moments.

Then he answered.

"...Lady Beaumont."

She sighed dramatically.

"You did it again."

"I know."

"And..."

He hesitated.

"...I intend to continue doing so."

Her brows drew together.

"...Why?"

Anthony lowered his eyes briefly.

When he looked back at her, there was an unmistakable gravity in his expression.

"I hope you’ll forgive me for what I’m about to say."

Something inside her chest tightened.

"I believe..."

"...it would be best if we spoke honestly."

The playfulness left her face.

She nodded once.

"...All right."

Anthony looked away toward the moonlit gardens.

"I know what you’ve been trying to do."

Her heart skipped.

"I’ve noticed."

"You’ve sought me out."

"You’ve started conversations."

"You’ve smiled at me."

"You’ve stood closer than you once did."

A brief silence.

"...Tonight..."

His ears colored ever so slightly.

"...You kissed my cheek."

Vivienne wished she could disappear into the marble floor.

Anthony drew a measured breath.

"When we were children..."

"You followed me everywhere."

"You always sought my attention."

"You never hid how you felt."

His voice remained calm.

Steady.

"I knew."

"I have always known."

Vivienne lowered her gaze.

"So..."

"I chose to keep my distance."

The words were spoken without bitterness.

"Not because I disliked you."

"Nor because I wished to hurt you."

"But because..."

He paused.

"...I believed allowing those feelings to grow, when I could not return them, would have been unfair."

The night suddenly felt much colder.

Anthony continued quietly.

"You’ve changed."

She looked up.

"You’re thoughtful."

"Confident."

"You’ve become someone I genuinely enjoy speaking with."

A fragile hope flickered to life inside her.

Then—

"My feelings have not changed."

The hope vanished.

Anthony met her eyes.

"I don’t wish to mislead you."

"If your recent actions are because you hope my feelings might change simply because we’ve grown closer..."

He shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"I cannot promise you that."

Silence stretched between them.

Vivienne stared at him.

For several moments...

She couldn’t find her voice.

"...That’s not..."

The words caught somewhere inside her throat.

Anthony waited patiently.

She lowered her gaze.

"I wasn’t trying to force you."

"I know feelings don’t work that way."

Her fingers slowly intertwined before her.

"I only thought..."

A small smile touched her lips.

It was uncertain.

Almost shy.

"...that if we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together..."

"...then perhaps..."

"...we could begin by becoming closer."

She laughed quietly at herself.

"I know our engagement is an obligation."

"I’ve always known."

"But..."

Her eyes slowly found his again.

"...I didn’t want obligation to be the only thing between us."

The words hung quietly between them.

Anthony looked at her.

Really looked at her.

For the first time that evening...

He noticed how tightly she was clasping her own hands.

How carefully she held that fragile smile in place.

As though if she allowed herself to relax—

It would disappear.

Something tightened faintly inside his chest.

He had expected disappointment.

Perhaps frustration.

He had not expected...

Someone trying so desperately not to look hurt.

His voice softened.

"...Lady Beaumont."

"I understand what you’re trying to do."

"And..."

"I don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong."

Vivienne looked up.

A tiny flicker of hope returned to her eyes.

Anthony saw it.

And because he saw it...

He knew he had to continue.

"But..."

"I don’t believe I can give you what you’re hoping for."

The hope quietly dimmed once more.

Vivienne lowered her head.

"...Then..."

Her voice was barely audible.

"...is it because of Lady Sinclair?"

Anthony looked at her immediately.

"No."

The answer came without hesitation.

"No."

"I have never regarded Lady Sinclair in that manner."

"I’ve watched her grow up."

"I’ve always thought of her as a younger sister."

"When I saw she had not danced all evening..."

"I couldn’t ignore it."

"So I asked her."

"Nothing more."

Vivienne searched his face.

There wasn’t the slightest uncertainty.

She believed him.

Which somehow...

Made it hurt even more.

"...Then..."

She swallowed.

"...if it isn’t because of Lady Sinclair..."

"...why are you trying so hard to keep me at arm’s length?"

Anthony remained silent.

The distant orchestra continued its waltz.

Finally...

He answered.

"Because I have done so for many years."

"I believed distance was kinder than encouragement."

"If I allowed you to believe I might someday return your feelings..."

"...when I had no reason to think I would..."

He slowly shook his head.

"That would have been unfair."

He drew a slow breath.

"Our engagement was arranged by our families."

"I accepted that responsibility long ago."

"When the time comes..."

"I will honor it."

"I will protect you."

"I will respect you."

"I will fulfill every duty expected of me as your husband."

His gaze remained steady.

"But I cannot promise feelings that do not yet exist."

Vivienne was quiet.

She understood every word.

That was what made it so painful.

He wasn’t trying to wound her.

He was trying to be honest.

After a long silence...

She spoke again.

"...You keep saying you can’t promise me."

Anthony looked at her.

"You’ve never actually said..."

"...that it could never happen."

Her smile was small.

Almost pleading.

"I know feelings can’t be forced."

"I know they can’t appear overnight."

"But..."

"If we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together..."

"...is it really so wrong for me to hope?"

Anthony felt his chest grow unexpectedly heavy.

There it was.

The very hope he had been trying to prevent.

He looked at her for a long moment.

She was waiting.

Not demanding.

Not insisting.

Simply...

Waiting.

He closed his eyes briefly.

When he opened them again...

His decision had not changed.

"...I don’t think it would be fair..."

He spoke quietly.

"...to ask you to wait for something..."

A pause.

"...that may never come."

Silence.

Neither of them moved.

Anthony watched the light slowly leave her eyes.

She smiled.

It was gentle.

Almost convincing.

"...I understand."

He knew.

She didn’t.

Not completely.

Or perhaps...

She was trying very hard to.

A quiet weight settled over him.

For the briefest moment...

He wondered whether he had been too harsh.

Whether there had been a kinder way to say it.

But kindness that created false hope...

Would only become cruelty later.

So he pushed the thought aside.

"...Thank you."

He inclined his head.

"I appreciate your understanding."

Anthony turned.

Then quietly walked back toward the ballroom.

Vivienne remained standing beneath the moonlight.

She listened until even his footsteps disappeared.

Only then...

Did the smile leave her face.

The summer breeze brushed against her cheek.

Almost unconsciously, she lifted a hand to the place where Anthony’s warmth had lingered only minutes before, when she’d rested her head against his shoulder.

A soft laugh escaped her.

"...So this..."

"...is what rejection feels like."

Her voice was light.

Almost teasing.

But it trembled at the edges.

She blinked once.

Then again.

Only when a tear slipped silently down her cheek did she realize her eyes had filled.

She laughed quietly at herself.

"...How embarrassing."

She had promised herself she would take things slowly.

She had told herself not to expect too much.

And yet...

A single conversation had been enough to leave her heart aching.

She wiped her tears away before anyone could see them.

Then she looked up at the stars.

"...Maybe..."

"...I should stop."

The words disappeared into the quiet night.

For the first time since opening her eyes in this world...

Vivienne Beaumont no longer knew whether chasing Anthony Ashford was the right thing to do.