Chapter 125: Tuesday blue

Chapter 125: Chapter 125: Tuesday blue

The dining hall buzzed with far more energy than it had the week before.

The strain of preliminary examinations had finally lifted.

Everywhere she looked, students seemed lighter somehow.

Relieved.

Animated.

Laughter drifted from table to table.

"...I still can’t believe Professor Hawthorne danced."

"I nearly choked on my drink."

"He wasn’t even that bad."

"No, but seeing him smile was unsettling."

Another table was occupied by an entirely different discussion.

"When do you think they’ll release the prelim results?"

"I heard next week."

"My brother says they always make us suffer first."

"I’ve already accepted my fate."

"You say that every exam."

"I mean it this time."

Vivienne found herself quietly observing them.

The university hadn’t changed overnight.

Classes still continued.

Assignments still existed.

Students still laughed over breakfast.

Life...

Simply went on.

Claire set a tray down across from her.

A moment later, Eleanor and Amelia arrived.

"There you are," Eleanor said as she took a seat.

Amelia balanced two glasses of juice with exaggerated care.

"I risked my life acquiring these."

Claire raised an eyebrow.

"You stood in line."

"It was a dangerous line."

"It always is."

The four of them settled into their familiar places.

For a while...

The conversation wandered naturally through memories of the Founders’ Ball.

"The orchestra was wonderful," Eleanor said.

"I hope they return next year."

"I loved the decorations," Amelia added. "Especially the flower arrangements."

Claire nodded.

"And everyone seems much happier now that preliminaries are over."

"Until the results arrive," Amelia groaned.

"Oh, don’t remind me."

"I’ve decided to enjoy my freedom while it lasts."

Eleanor smiled.

"A wise decision."

Then Amelia looked toward Vivienne.

"Oh."

"I almost forgot."

She smiled knowingly.

"They’re still talking about you and Damian."

For the first time that morning...

A genuine smile found its way onto Vivienne’s face.

"...Still?"

Eleanor sighed.

"I suppose one dance was enough to convince everyone."

Vivienne let out a quiet laugh.

"...Poor Damian."

Claire smiled faintly.

"I wonder if he’s heard."

"He must have."

Vivienne shook her head, amusement flickering in her eyes.

She could almost picture his face.

The faint crease between his brows.

The look of complete disbelief when she inform him that the entire university had apparently decided they were carrying on a secret romance.

Just imagining it made her smile.

He had teased her often enough.

For once...

The joke had been on him.

"Vivienne..."

She almost heard him saying it.

A laugh threatened to escape.

...

I never did tease him.

She had been looking forward to it.

She’d wanted to walk over after the ball and say—

"Congratulations, Damian. Apparently the university has decided we’re secretly in love."

His reaction would have been priceless.

The thought warmed her for the briefest moment.

Then...

Another memory quietly surfaced.

The balcony.

Anthony standing before her.

"It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to wait for something that may never come."

The warmth faded as quickly as it had appeared.

Her smile lingered...

But only faintly.

She lowered her eyes to the cup in her hands.

"..."

No one spoke.

Claire noticed.

She always noticed.

Without a word, she nudged the basket of bread toward Vivienne.

"Eat."

Vivienne blinked before looking up.

Their eyes met.

Claire wasn’t smiling.

She wasn’t pitying her either.

She was simply...

There.

Vivienne’s lips curved gently.

"...Thank you."

She reached for a piece of bread.

It wasn’t much.

But she ate.

Across the table, Eleanor and Amelia quietly let the conversation drift elsewhere.

Neither of them mentioned Damian again.

Neither of them mentioned Anthony.

Sometimes...

Friends understood that silence could be kinder than questions.

--

The rest of Tuesday passed much as Vivienne expected.

She attended her lectures.

Walked from one classroom to the next with Claire, Eleanor, and Amelia.

Smiled when Amelia exaggerated the horrors of waiting for preliminary examination results.

Laughed quietly when Eleanor corrected her with her usual dry wit.

Shared lunch beneath the old maple trees.

Answered when spoken to.

Listened when professors lectured.

To anyone watching...

Nothing seemed unusual.

Only Vivienne knew the truth.

By the time evening arrived...

She couldn’t remember a single lecture.

Not one conversation.

Not even what she’d eaten for lunch.

Everything blurred together into a day she had simply...

Survived.

--

By the time the evening bell rang, she and Claire were back in their shared dormitory room.

The room was comfortably quiet.

Claire had already settled at her desk, surrounded by neatly arranged books and loose sheets of notes.

Vivienne changed into something more comfortable before opening tomorrow’s assigned reading.

She read the first page carefully.

Then the second.

By the third...

The words no longer seemed to make sense.

She frowned.

Lowered her eyes to the beginning of the paragraph.

Read it again.

When she reached the end...

She realized she couldn’t remember a single sentence.

"..."

She stared at the page for a long while.

The neat rows of black ink slowly lost their shape.

Not because the words had changed...

But because her vision had begun to blur.

Vivienne blinked quickly.

Once.

Twice.

She pressed her lips together.

Not now.

Please...

Not again.

She closed the book before the first tear could fall onto the page.

For a moment, she simply sat there, eyes shut, willing herself to breathe normally.

The ache hadn’t gone away.

It had merely followed her quietly throughout the day.

She finally stood.

Walked the few steps to her bed.

And lay down on top of the blankets, staring at the ceiling.

The room was quiet.

Claire was focused on her own reading.

The steady scratching of her pen was strangely comforting.

Vivienne closed her eyes.

Sleep.

She should sleep.

Tomorrow would still come.

She turned onto her side.

Closed her eyes more tightly.

...

Anthony’s voice echoed through her memory.

"I don’t think it’s fair to ask you to wait for something that may never come."

Her eyes opened again.

She stared silently into the darkness.

After several minutes...

She tried once more.

...

The balcony.

The lanterns.

His apologetic smile.

"I’m sorry."

She turned over.

Pulled the blanket a little higher.

This time...

She counted her breaths.

One.

Two.

Three.

...

"My feelings haven’t changed."

Vivienne let out a slow, shaky breath.

"...I know."

The words escaped so quietly that even she barely heard them.

She knew.

That was the problem.

She knew he meant every word.

There was nothing to argue with.

Nothing to misunderstand.

Nothing to fix.

Yet...

Her mind refused to leave that balcony.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Until...

Sometime deep into the night...

Exhaustion finally proved kinder than sleep.

--