Chapter 187: I want her

Chapter 187: Chapter 187: I want her

By the time Damian returned to his dorm that evening, he had almost convinced himself that the day had gone reasonably well.

Almost.

He had walked Vivienne to the Literature Society.

He had carried her bag.

He had even managed not to make a complete fool of himself when their fingers touched.

That last part was debatable.

Damian had just changed out of his day clothes when someone knocked on his door.

He frowned.

Another knock followed.

He opened it.

Julian stood there with a grin, Adrian beside him wearing an equally amused expression.

Damian immediately became suspicious.

"What?"

Neither answered.

Julian stepped inside, followed by Adrian.

"What is this about?"

Julian glanced at Adrian.

Adrian glanced at Julian.

Then Julian turned back.

"Guess."

"No."

Julian laughed.

"We heard something interesting today."

Damian crossed his arms.

"What?"

Julian’s grin widened.

"I heard you’ve been carrying a lady’s bag across campus."

Damian stared at him.

"A lady’s bag," Julian repeated. "From the Literature Society."

"You already know it was Lady Beaumont."

"We suspected," Adrian said.

"So?" Julian leaned against the table. "What’s actually going on?"

"Nothing."

Julian glanced at Adrian.

"Do you think he’s finally going to admit it?"

"Eventually."

Damian sighed.

"Admit what?"

Julian gestured toward him.

"The rumors."

"You and Lady Beaumont. First the lunch. Then the Founder’s Ball. Then the broken engagement. And now you’re walking her to her club carrying her bag."

He paused.

"Have you two been secretly seeing each other behind Anthony’s back this entire time?"

"No."

Damian answered immediately.

"Absolutely not."

Julian blinked.

"Then what?"

Damian rubbed a hand over his face.

"You two are getting ahead of yourselves."

"Then explain."

For a moment, Damian considered denying everything again.

It would have been easier.

But there was no point anymore.

He exhaled.

"It’s not her."

Julian frowned.

"What?"

"The reason."

Damian looked away briefly.

"It’s not because we’re secretly seeing each other."

"Then why are you carrying her bag?"

Damian was quiet.

Then—

"It’s me."

The amusement disappeared from Julian’s face.

Adrian straightened.

Damian looked at them both.

"I like her."

Silence.

Then Julian slowly grinned.

"Oh."

Damian frowned.

"Don’t."

"I can’t help it."

Julian laughed.

"Damian Blackwood."

He shook his head.

"I never thought I’d see the day."

"See what?"

"You actually admitting that you like a woman."

Damian gave him a flat look.

Julian’s grin widened.

"You’ve had women trying to get your attention since first year."

"And you’ve rejected every one of them."

"Politely," Adrian added.

"Very politely."

Julian laughed.

"And now you’re the one trying to figure out how to get a woman to like you."

"It’s not funny."

"It’s a little funny."

Adrian’s expression softened.

"Does she know?"

"No."

"Does she like you?"

Damian hesitated.

"That’s the problem."

Julian’s smile faded.

"She doesn’t?"

"She sees me as a friend."

Damian looked toward his desk.

"That’s why I need advice."

Julian stared at him.

"You?"

"Yes, me."

"You’re asking me?"

"You have considerably more experience than I do."

Julian’s grin returned.

"I’ve been waiting years for this."

"Julian."

"All right."

He raised his hands.

"I’m listening."

Damian exhaled.

"How do I make her see me as something more than a friend?"

Adrian spoke before Julian could answer.

"Why the urgency?"

Damian looked at him.

"Her engagement to Anthony ended less than a week ago."

Damian was silent.

Julian’s eyes narrowed.

"Wait."

He looked between them.

"There’s someone else."

Damian’s jaw tightened.

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Christopher Archibald."

Julian’s eyebrows rose.

"Archibald?"

Adrian’s expression shifted.

"Christopher Archibald?"

Damian nodded.

Julian let out a low whistle.

"That’s serious."

"He’s not competing."

Julian stared at him.

"That’s worse."

Damian sighed.

"The problem is that Vivienne likes him."

"What?"

Julian straightened.

"When did that happen?"

"Sunday."

"The afternoon tea?"

"Yes."

"I thought she barely knew him."

"She didn’t."

Damian paused.

"Then she exchanged numbers with him."

Julian stared.

"On Sunday?"

"Yes."

"And now?"

"They’re texting."

Julian leaned back slowly.

"That was fast."

"I know."

Adrian studied him.

"How do you know?"

"I saw it."

"She was texting him in front of you?"

"Yes."

Damian’s expression tightened.

"She kept asking me about him, too."

"About Archibald?"

"Where he was. What club he was in. Whether I knew him."

Julian gave a slow nod.

"Now I understand."

He glanced at Adrian.

"That’s why you’ve been watching Archibald all week."

Damian said nothing.

"You’re already treating him like a rival."

"Because he is."

Adrian considered that.

"Does Archibald know?"

"I don’t think so."

"Does Vivienne know?"

"No."

Julian shook his head.

"So you’re already in a competition that neither of them knows exists."

"Something like that."

Julian studied him for another moment.

Then his expression became serious.

"How much do you actually want her?"

Damian looked at him.

"Enough."

"That’s not an answer."

Damian was silent.

He could say he liked her.

That was true.

But it wasn’t enough anymore.

He didn’t merely want Vivienne beside him.

He didn’t merely want her smiles or her friendship.

He wanted to be the man she chose.

The man she wanted close.

The man she would willingly hold hands with, kiss, and eventually trust with the intimacy he had only experienced in his dreams.

And those dreams had made one thing painfully clear.

He wanted her.

The thought of Christopher becoming that man instead made something dark and possessive twist inside him.

Damian lowered his gaze.

"I don’t want to watch her be with someone else."

Julian’s expression sobered.

"That’s what this is really about."

"Yes."

"I don’t want Christopher—or anyone else—to get there first."

Adrian studied him.

"And if he does?"

Damian’s jaw tightened.

"I don’t know."

He knew.

He simply didn’t want to say it.

He couldn’t imagine watching another man become the person Vivienne chose while he remained safely at her side as nothing more than a friend.

Julian leaned back.

"Then you can’t just sit there."

"I know."

"You have to do something."

"I know."

"But you don’t want to confess."

"Not yet."

"Because you think she’ll reject you."

"Yes."

Julian nodded.

"You’ve rejected enough women yourself to know exactly how that conversation goes."

Damian gave him a look.

"Exactly."

He knew rejection didn’t have to be cruel.

He knew how gently someone could say I don’t feel the same way.

And if Vivienne said those words to him, he wasn’t sure he could simply smile and accept it.

Not when he wanted her this badly.

So he wasn’t going to confess yet.

First, he needed to make her see him differently.

Julian studied him for a moment.

Then his expression shifted.

"All right."

He leaned back.

"Then let’s figure out how to change that."