Chapter 319: Lacking? I

Chapter 319: Chapter 319: Lacking? I

Damian didn’t throw the breakfast away.

By the time he reached his room, the anger had settled into something heavier.

He put the medicine on his desk.

Then looked at the paper bag.

He was hungry.

He hadn’t eaten anything that morning.

For a moment, he considered leaving it there.

Instead, he opened it.

The food was still warm.

He sat on the edge of his bed and ate.

It tasted fine.

He barely noticed.

He finished everything anyway.

Then he leaned back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling.

His mind kept circling back to the same image, no matter what he did.

Vivienne beside Christopher.

Their hands together.

Her smile.

Damian closed his eyes.

Fuck.

What was he supposed to do now?

He couldn’t confront her.

He couldn’t ask her why.

He couldn’t demand an explanation when she had never promised him anything in the first place.

They had agreed to the arrangement.

Friends with benefits.

No expectations.

No promises.

No claims.

He had known exactly what he was agreeing to.

So what right did he have to be angry?

None.

And that was what made it so damn frustrating.

Because if he really thought about it, he hadn’t exactly lost anything.

He had gotten more than he’d ever expected.

He had been her first.

That was something Christopher could never change.

No matter what happened now, Damian would always be the first man she had chosen to share that part of herself with.

The thought gave him a brief, bitter satisfaction.

At least he had that.

Then another thought came.

Would Christopher eventually get the rest?

Damian’s expression tightened.

Would he get to know her the way Damian had?

Would he learn all the little things Damian had learned over those four days?

Would he know how she liked to be kissed?

How she reacted when he touched her?

Would he get to hold her?

Kiss her?

See her the way Damian had?

The thought made something hot twist in his chest.

He opened his eyes.

Fuck.

He didn’t want to think about it.

But now that the thought was there, he couldn’t seem to get rid of it.

Christopher would never know what it had been like the first time.

He would never have that.

Damian had.

And perhaps that was why the thought of Christopher having her afterward felt so damn infuriating.

A bitter thought surfaced.

So Christopher gets the leftovers.

Damian’s jaw tightened.

What a fucking ridiculous way to think about her.

Vivienne wasn’t his.

Christopher wasn’t taking something that belonged to him.

He knew that.

But knowing it didn’t make the thought any easier to swallow.

Because Damian remembered those four days.

The laughter.

The teasing.

The way she had wanted him.

The way they had fallen into each other so easily.

It hadn’t felt like she was merely tolerating him.

She had enjoyed it.

He knew she had.

So why?

Hadn’t she been happy with him?

Hadn’t what they had been doing been enough?

Wasn’t he enough?

He hated the question.

He had given her attention.

Affection.

He had taken care of her.

He had listened to her.

He had made her laugh.

He had tried to give her everything she seemed to want.

And for four days, she had seemed happy to take it.

So why?

Yesterday, she had even told him she would think about it.

About them.

About whether there could be something more.

Damian had known she liked Christopher.

But what did Christopher actually have that he didn’t?

That was the part he couldn’t understand.

When it came to looks, family, intelligence, and social standing, Damian could hardly claim Christopher had some overwhelming advantage.

In some areas, Damian had the advantage himself.

But there were other things.

Christopher had been Student Council President the previous year.

He was Vice President now.

He was excellent at polo.

Better than Damian, if Damian was being honest.

He was good at sports.

Polished.

Well connected.

And he had experience.

With women.

Damian frowned.

Maybe that was it.

Christopher knew what he was doing.

Damian didn’t.

Not really.

Vivienne had been his first.

His first relationship.

His first real intimacy with a woman.

Everything he knew about being with someone, he had learned with her.

He had simply assumed he was doing well because she had seemed happy.

And she had seemed happy.

Hadn’t she?

Damian shifted against the headboard.

Maybe he’d been too confident.

Maybe he had no idea what he was actually doing.

Maybe Christopher had experience Damian didn’t have, and Vivienne had noticed the difference immediately.

The thought irritated him.

No.

That couldn’t be it.

She had wanted him.

He knew she had.

The last four days hadn’t been one-sided.

She had enjoyed herself.

He had enjoyed himself.

Very much.

So what the hell was he questioning?

Damian rubbed a hand over his face.

Was it the sex?

He stared at the ceiling.

Was he actually good?

He’d always assumed he was.

He had certainly never had reason to doubt himself.

Well—

He’d never had anyone to compare himself to.

That thought was deeply unhelpful.

Damian groaned.

Maybe he’d been walking around with entirely too much confidence based on absolutely no evidence.

What if he’d mistaken his confidence for actual skill?

What if the only thing he had going for him was that he was fairly well endowed?

Damian stopped.

He stared blankly at the ceiling.

What the hell was he thinking?

He covered his face with both hands.

He had officially lost his mind.

This was Christopher Archibald’s fault somehow.

Or Vivienne’s.

Or his own.

Probably his own.

He dropped his hands.

Maybe he had been too available.

That was another possibility.

Maybe she’d gotten used to having him whenever she wanted.

Maybe he’d made himself too easy.

Damian’s eyes narrowed.

No.

That was ridiculous too.

He had spent more than two weeks doing the exact opposite.

He had stayed away from her.

He had deliberately stopped making himself available.

And had she looked for him?

No.

Not once.

She hadn’t come after him.

Hadn’t asked where he was.

Hadn’t tried to find him.

Damian’s expression fell.

That hurt more than he wanted it to.

He had spent those two weeks telling himself that he was finally getting over her.

And apparently, Vivienne had simply continued with her life.

She hadn’t even noticed he was gone.

For a while, he simply stared at the ceiling.

Then he rolled onto his side.

He looked miserable.

He knew he looked miserable.

There he was.

Lying on his bed like a loser.

All because Vivienne Beaumont had chosen another man.

Damian shut his eyes.

He didn’t know what came next.

He couldn’t go back to treating her like she was just another girl.

He couldn’t pretend nothing had happened.

He couldn’t ask her to choose him.

He couldn’t ask her to stop seeing Christopher.

He had no right.

So what was he supposed to do?

Stay away?

Probably.

Pretend he didn’t care?

Impossible.

Keep sleeping with her if she came back?

The thought made his stomach turn.

Not because he didn’t want her.

God, he still wanted her.

But he didn’t know if he could do that anymore.

Not after seeing her with someone else.

He opened his eyes again.

The clock read 11:52.

Damian stared at it.

Nearly noon.

He had spent almost three hours thinking about the same woman.

Three hours trying to figure out what Christopher had that he didn’t.

And, somehow, he had managed to convince himself that perhaps the answer was experience.

Which meant—

Maybe he needed experience too.

Damian frowned.

With other women.

He stared at the ceiling.

That was insane.

He didn’t want other women.

He wanted Vivienne.

And that was precisely the problem.

--

Tbc