Year 3 – Shift 4 – Ill Niña – Gobs

“That was really close, Nyx.” Gobs unbuckled her harness and threw it onto the ground with her coat. “They give you things free here. You don’t have to cause a commotion to steal food.”

“But Roberto was hungry!” She stomped her foot and hugged her cloak tighter and plopped on the beanbag chair in the corner of their new apartment. “She said I had to wait!”

Gobs took a deep breath and let it out sharply. She went over and got down on Nyxie’s level. “Nyx. There’s a way they do things here. It’s different, but its good. Sometimes we have to wait our turn, but we don’t have to pay for basic dignity and a safe place to sleep.”

Nyxie looked at her with a frown that slowly cracked into tears. “But Roberto was hungry.”

Gobs sighed. She looked at all that was left of her family and realized the challenge ahead was going to be such a bright one with her little sister. “You have such a sweet heart, but you need to let Roberto know that he won’t have to go without anymore, so he can chill his ass out.”

“Language!” She pressed her hands over her ears. “Roberto doesn’t like those words!”

Gobs looked at her sister and sighed. Roberto rarely played a role in their day to day, but sometimes he threw fits, and they were maddening. She closed her eyes, counted to five and opened her eyes. That damned cloak was still there. She needed Roberto to sleep so Nyxie could come out.

“I’m sorry.” Gobs was exasperated. “Roberto can relax now because we won’t run out of food anymore. Please, Roberto. They accept us here.”

For an echo of an eternity, Nyxie was silent, chin tucked to her chest. Listening. “Roberto went to sleep. He says he trusts you this time, but not to let me down.”

The storm parted, but relief never came. Just breaks. “Oh, does he now? He trusts Gobbie to take care of her own sister? Thank you, Roberto. You’re a class act.”

“He can’t hear you, ya know?” Nyxie said. “He’s sleeping.”

“I know, I know.” Gobs said, standing up and stretching out. “Just leaving a message before I get ready.”

Nyxie’s eyes lit up. “Did you get accepted?”

Gobs walked over to the closet and pulled out a pink and green jersey and waved it excitedly. “You’re lookin at the newest jammer for the Etokuso Gash Smashers!”

“EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” Nyxie jumped into the chair and bounced up and down in excitement. “Oh my gash, you’re gonna get to smash with Lita and Chyna and Talia!”

Gobs pulled the shirt on and looked into a mirror at the fit. “I can’t believe I made the team, Nyx. People actually give me a chance here. This is going to be a good practice.”

“I can turn Roberto into panties so he can protect you from Big Spermtha!” Nyxie pulled the cloak off and started folding it eagerly.

“I think Roberto is good on your back, Nyx.” She politely declined the violation of having a demon in her mosh pit while getting wrecked on skates. “This is just friendly beatdown fun.”

“I wonder who’s going to captain with Raven gone.” Nyxie ran over to her room and grabbed her Gash Smashers big foam dildo and pulled her Smashin’ Gash since ’69 shirt over her head.

“Some girl named Muffin.” Gobs shrugged. “Sounds like you’d want a tougher name like Peg-a-Saurus Wrecks or the FUPA Stomper or somethin.”

“But what about Cherry Poppins and Snuggle Fuck?” Nyxie wondered. “They are super cutesy sounding and they have the highest violence records.”

“That’s because they love it.” Gobs chuckled, remembering beating the shit out of each other with her siblings as kids. “Some people are born into it and they choose to own it.”

“What name are you gonna use, Gobbie Gob?” She looked up into her big sister’s eyes with a sparkly smile.

Gobs smiled and chuckled. “Princess Cunt-Cake.”

“Oooh!” Nyxie beamed. “That’s so goooood, Gobbie!”

“But, I gotta go now.” Gobs grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I have to meet up with Ms. Green on the way for my first job.”

“I’m coming too!” Nyxie had a handful of Gash Smashers merch and hopped up and down with a radiant smile.

Gobs looked at her and instantly broke. She couldn’t say no. That’s why they had Roberto. “Ok. Let’s go. But no Roberto!”

“No Roberto!” She agreed. “Got it!”

“And, remember.” She said. “Everything is free. You just have to ask.”

“Just ask!” She nodded once trying to make a serious face.

Gobs led her out of their apartment onto Freedom Fucks Street to a scene she could really get used to. Passing in between the Pearwasp’s and Gregg’s Garlic and Graphing Paper was a weekly parade to celebrate people like her. It was still breathtaking to the point that she wasn’t sure she trusted saying anything. An entire town – especially a town that had nearly outpaced the size of Sunnydale – was not only accepting, but broadcasting it with rainbows and affirmations painted on every building, wall, and child. Seeing two women hold hands was such a common occurrence, she could see three couples from where she stood just casually going about their day. She wanted that. But, for now, Nyxie and Roberto kept that from happening.

As the parade went by, she saw many faces she knew from the block, and from all around town. She grabbed Nyxie’s hand and led her around the corner.

“Are you gonna get a girlfriend to smooch here?” Nyxie asked innocently.

“We shouldn’t talk about that, Nyx.” Gobs put her head down and moved quicker, towing Nyxie uncomfortably behind.

“Why not?” She said, pulling back with ingoblin strength, stopping them dead. “Those girls over there are kissing. And those boys. And I think that’s nine thri-kreen performing a Etokuso Sausage Shuffle!”

“Ohp. This way!” Gobs slapped a hand over Nyxie’s eyes and ducked down a side street.

“Oh my gash, Gobbie!” Nyxie stomped and broke free. “I’m already six! Murdera had her first litter at seven!”

“You don’t need that, Nyx!” Gobs responded.

“I know!” She nodded firmly. “But stop babying me! I know what that is, I know what a limping draggin’ is. I know what a knoblin knocker is, and I know what two nights in ‘rhea is! I’m just learning for later!”

Gobs shook her head and continued past Wendell’s Watermelons and Wenis Extensions. “I know, Nyxie.” She sighed and shook her head. “This is all so much. Two weeks ago we were eating out of the dumpster behind the Arby’s But With Consequences. And, here we are in a new city where I don’t have work because all I know how to do is steal and kill and everything’s free and murderless.”

Nyxie reached up and grabbed her sister’s sweating hand and pulled her to look into her eyes. “Hey! Don’t be mom.” Her face grew serious. “Please.”

Gobs looked down at the last of her nine siblings and realized how wise she’d become in their fight. Gobs kissed her on the forehead. “I won’t Nyxie. I promise.”

Nyxie simply nodded once and spun on her heel. “Ms. Wynter is at Steaks N Shit.”

“Nyx…” She knew how she knew. “What did I say?”

She continued walking for a few steps before she spoke without turning around. “Fine. I don’t know where she is.”

“Goo—”

“But, she’s right there.” Nyxie pointed to the line outside the Steaks N Shit.

“Oh.” Gobs was frazzled. So many people. She approached gently. “Excuse me. Ms. Wynter?”

Wynter turned and her face lit up. “Gobs! Nyxie! It’s so good to see you! How is Etokuso life treating you?”

Gobs smiled the best smile she could muster. “It’s nice. Thank you for everything.”

Wynter’s lip curled up on the right. “You’re on your way to Gash Smasher practice, aren’t you?”

Gobs was genuinely surprised she remembered something about her. “I am. Umm. Yeah.”

“I will see you when you take the field!” She teased. “I am such a huge fan of the Gash!”

Gobs’ went from green to red. “I just hope I do good.”

“You will, Gobs.” She reassured her. “And, you’ll do awesome on your mission as well.”

“Yeah.” She responded. “We were actually coming to see you about that.”

“Right!” Wynter held her hand out and a magical clipboard appeared in her hand. She slid her finger down until she stopped. “Ah. Good. You are leaving tomorrow with Kaori. You’re going tomb raiding. Your target is the Deck of Many Things.”

Gobs’ eyes grew wide. “The deck? Why?”

Wynter didn’t shy from the smiles. “Let’s just say that we have some rules to exploit.”

Gobs pondered recovering the artifact. It was well-known. And expensive.

“Why do you need money?” Nyxie questioned.

Gobs’ eyes went wide. “Umm. What?”

“Roberto said you want to sell the deck.” Nyxie said.

Wynter’s eyebrow raised.

“No! No, I wouldn’t!” Gobs choked.

“We pay you gold, too, Gobs.” Wynter didn’t lose her smile. “We don’t keep you dependent with free food and no mobility.”

That was it. Something snapped. “No. Bullshit! Nobody is this nice. What do you want from us?”

Wynter kept smiling. “I want your laugh, your smile, your happiness, and your jamming skills. That’s it. Can I count on you?”

Gobs looked up at her, reading her intent clearer than the thousand faces she’d read before. This was a girl who had no end of confidence in herself and her mission. “Ok. Let’s do it. What are the details?”

She chuckled. “I’m actually getting food and gonna blaze and plan with Kaori. I would invite, but you have practice. So, I’ll fill you in before you go!”

“Ok. Good.” Gobs looked at Nyxie. “See you then.”