Chapter 349 - 117: Desire
"Let’s go," said Haoran as he casually summoned his ornamental silver sword with a flick of his wrist.
The weapon materialized from his spatial ring, instantly humming with a low, vibrant frequency that dispelled the lingering dust of the terrifying battlefield.
Then, he rode it and shot straight through the sky, a magnificent streak of silver light cutting across the shifting clouds of the dimension.
Qing’er, however, dissolved into her fluid, ink-black form, before disappearing into the shadows, following closely behind Haoran.
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At this moment, back on the remote mountain top, the atmosphere was entirely quiet, practically frozen in stark contrast to the madness that had just occurred in the skies above.
The lower half of the Ten Crowns—with the exact singular exception of Shen Ying, who inexplicably wasn’t present at this very moment—were casually lounging around the perimeter of the flat stone clearing.
They were staring intently at the ancient peach blossom tree, looking thoroughly, completely bored out of their minds.
The rest of the girls, Qian Yunxi, Zhu Ziyan, Ning Xueli, Ling Luochen, Xia Mengyao, and Luo Mingye, aren’t any better off in terms of entertainment.
They had been sitting on the stone ledges for what felt like hours, their initial high adrenaline tension completely draining away.
They wondered silently just how much longer they would realistically have to wait out here in the freezing alpine wind until Shen Haoran finished his personal business, and until Xu Xiansu finally returned from that strange, whatever hidden sub-dimension she had so suddenly entered through the bark of the tree.
At this exact moment, the faint, crunching sound of rhythmic footsteps was heard echoing from the rocky pathway leading up the peak.
The bored group simultaneously turned their heads toward the sound and found Shen Ying slowly climbing up from below the mountain path and walking lazily towards them.
She looked entirely unbothered by the altitude, casually holding a cluster of bizarre, brightly glowing, rainbow-colored mushrooms in her tiny hands.
"What’s that you’ve got there, Shen Ying?" asked Shen Xun’er, tilting her head in genuine confusion as she watched the colorful spores drift lazily from the fungi.
"It’s nothing special," replied Shen Ying, her voice looking as completely listless, deadpan, and exhausted as ever as she delicately tucked the glowing specimens into her spatial ring. "Just the rare primary main ingredient for a pill that can induce an extreme state of... ’relaxation’ for overstimulated minds."
The crowns and the villa girls were thoroughly confused by her vague description and wanted to ask her more details, but then, at that precise moment, a blinding silver light descended violently from the high clouds above the mountain clearing.
It was Shen Haoran, riding his majestic silver sword.
The kinetic pressure of his arrival sent a sharp, clean gust of wind tearing across the stone peak, rustling the pink petals of the lone peach blossom tree.
The members of the lower Crowns immediately stood up perfectly straight, their previous bored, lazy postures vanishing in a single fraction of a second, replaced by absolute, ingrained discipline and reverence for their leader.
Shen Haoran jumped down elegantly from the flat of the silver blade, casually waving his hand to store the weapon securely back inside his spatial storage ring.
He looked over the gathered group with a calm, discerning gaze, his golden eyes scanning the empty center of the flat clearing.
"Where’s Xiansu?" he asked, his voice smooth and commanding.
Everyone in the group immediately, simultaneously raised their hands and pointed their fingers directly at the ancient peach blossom tree standing behind them.
"Apparently, there’s a highly restricted sub-dimension hidden directly inside that tree that only Xiansu can enter," said Ning Xueli, stepping forward to explain the situation. "The moment she pressed her hands against the sun and moon engravings, the portal automatically triggered and pulled her right through the bark."
"Those two pathetic master and disciple worms from earlier tried desperately to get in before we ambushed them, but they couldn’t enter at all," said Shen Xun’er, her arms crossed as she scoffed in remembrance of Chu Yan’s frantic, useless display.
"I see," Haoran nodded slowly, his expression entirely unbothered, a faint, calculating smile playing on his lips.
That’s right, Xu Xiansu was also a protagonist after all.
It was entirely normal and even expected for her to possess unique, highly specific opportunities and ancient inheritance keys that only she could naturally unlock through her hidden bloodline.
The plot armor of the world would always strive to hand her power.
"Then, let us just comfortably wait for her here," Haoran stated, walking over to a stone bench and sitting down, fully prepared to claim the harvest the moment she stepped out of the vault.
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At this exact moment, inside the hidden pocket world.
Standing in a completely dark, infinitely empty space that seemed entirely devoid of standard matter or physical walls, Xu Xiansu was breathing heavily, her chest heaving rapidly as she tried to stabilize her fluctuating meridians.
Her fine robes were slightly torn at the sleeves, and she looked visibly, heavily injured, her skin covered in minor spiritual burns and superficial lacerations from the brutal, successive combat trials she had just been subjected to.
In front of her, floating effortlessly amidst the absolute darkness, the majestic, glowing figure of a man clad in ancient, radiant golden emperor robes stood tall.
He smiled gently and warmly down at her, his spectral aura carrying a deep, comforting safety that instantly eased the physical pain racking her body.
"Congratulations, young challenger. You have successfully and flawlessly passed the final test of my trials."
Xu Xiansu breathed a long, trembling sigh of pure relief, and a proud, victorious smile spread across her elegant features.
She honestly could not believe the sheer magnitude of her luck.
An Imperial Artifact!
Although it was only fragmented piece of the complete structure, it was still a genuine, fully realized Imperial Artifact carrying the primal laws of a Supreme!
She didn’t even have access to a single treasure of this supreme caliber in her entire previous life as a Supreme Emperor!
The trajectory of this timeline was vastly outperforming her memories.
Not to mention that alongside the physical weapon, she was also officially slated to receive the absolute, complete inheritance scrolls and conceptual insights of the legendary Sun Moon Emperor himself!
This was an ancient historical figure who was celebrated across the records as someone who had stood incredibly, tantalizingly close to becoming the sole Immortal of his entire era.
He had only fallen short of total immortality when he was ultimately defeated in the final, cataclysmic battle at the very end of the legendary Immortal Road by the supreme genius who eventually went on to claim the true throne and become the Immortal of that specific era.
It is even heavily rumored and debated among the oldest sects that the true, tragic reason why the Sun Moon Emperor had actually lost that final duel wasn’t due to a deficiency in his cultivation, but because his final opponent was his closest, most beloved lifelong friend, and he simply did not want to stand in the way of his brother’s ascension to the heavens, choosing to pass the crown and fade into the shadows of history.
In other words, this magnificent soul standing before her was someone far more historically impressive, powerful, and conceptually deep than she could have ever dreamed of being in her other life!
This was the ultimate guy who had successfully walked to the absolute end of the Immortal Road, an entity who could have easily broken through to become a true immortal if his heart had been a single shred more ruthless!
"Before I officially pass my inheritance to you... do you mind if I ask you a single question?" asked the Sun Moon Emperor, his golden eyes reflecting a boundless wisdom.
Xu Xiansu nodded her head immediately, her posture respectful as she bowed low. "Please ask away, honored senior. This junior will answer truthfully."
"What is it that you truly desire from this world?"
Xu Xiansu blinked her eyes in sudden, unscripted confusion, completely not expecting such a raw, philosophical question to be the final barrier to her inheritance.
"Is it supreme, unchecked power? Is it boundless worldly wealth? Is it bloody, absolute revenge against those who have crossed your paths in the dark?" The Sun Moon Emperor asked once again, his deep voice echoing with a heavy, vibrational gravity through the empty space. "Look deep into your soul, child. What do you truly desire?"
Xu Xiansu remained entirely, heavily silent, her lips pressing into a thin line as she stared down at the dark void beneath her boots, entirely unsure of what to say.
What does she desire?
Xu Xiansu pondered deeply, the profound weight of the question anchoring her thoughts within the absolute silence of the dark, boundless space.
The void around her seemed to press against her consciousness, demanding an answer that stripped away all falsehoods and social armor.
The very first thought that came to mind was revenge. It was the burning engine that had driven her soul since the very moment she awakened the memories of her past life.
She wanted to make sure that the vile man who had made her and her mother suffer so catastrophically in both lifetimes would die a terrible, unholy death.
She wanted him to watch everything he built crumble into ash.
She wanted to systematically destroy this very empire that he holds dear like it was his own newborn child, trampling his legacy into the dirt until nothing remained of his proud name.
So, lifting her chin, her eyes flashing with a sharp, crimson-tinged determination, she answered firmly, "I want revenge. I want the power to crush my enemies."
"That is merely your current goal, child, not your true desire," said the Sun Moon Emperor, smiling gently down at her with a look of ancient, profound understanding.
He shook his head slowly, his golden robes rippling like liquid sunlight in the darkness.
"A goal is a destination you map out with your mind—a task to be completed, a debt to be collected, a kingdom to be built or torn down. It is born from external circumstances, from the wounds inflicted upon you by the world. But a desire? A true desire is the primal, unyielding whisper of your soul. It is the raw answer to what your heart hungers for when the enemies are all dead, when the wealth is accumulated, and when the silence finally sets in. A goal is what you do, but a desire is what you are."
The Sun Moon Emperor floated gracefully around her in a slow, wide circle, his sharp, luminous eyes as if observing the deepest, hidden chambers of her heart, peeling back the layers of her defensive walls.
"Look past the blood, look past the scars of your life, and tell me your true desire, child."
Xu Xiansu remained entirely silent, the quietness of the space mirroring the sudden stillness in her chest.
Desire... what does she truly desire?
The well-being of her mother? She analyzed the thought, but realized that right now, her mother is completely safe, living comfortably away from the political meat-grinder of the capital.
And as she herself rapidly grows stronger by the day, gaining resources and power, there is absolutely no practical need to worry about her mother’s long-term safety anymore.
That baseline fear had already been thoroughly resolved.
Just then, completely unbidden, she thought of Shen Haoran, and her eyes instantly revealed a very complicated, deeply tangled look.
Right... she also wanted to get absolute revenge on Haoran too, didn’t she?
He was a man who had used her body and threw her away after he had enough, not even once looking at her after that.
But as she tracked her own emotional graph over the past weeks, a sudden, jarring question struck her: why didn’t she feel like doing it anymore? Why had the fiery wrath she intended to direct at him completely evaporated into nothingness?
In fact, far from plotting his downfall, she has even been actively helping him, following his commands, monitoring his targets, and standing as a core member of his internal circle.
Still, for some completely inexplicable, frustrating reason, whenever she thought of the word desire, her analytical mind couldn’t help but helplessly drift straight towards that man.
His elegant posture, his cruel but beautiful golden eyes, his absolute, nonchalant supremacy... it filled her vision until the dark space disappeared.
Desire...
Haoran...
Desire....
The concepts blurred together, spinning inside her head until they broke through her mental barriers.
At that precise moment, before her conscious mind could step in to filter her thoughts or construct a prideful lie, the words suddenly came pouring out of her mouth, completely raw and unfiltered.
"I simply want to.... remain by his side, to become someone he can truly rely on."
Xu Xiansu blinked rapidly, her hands flying up to cover her mouth, her eyes wide with absolute, horrified surprise at her own words.
The echo of her voice vibrated through the emptiness, leaving her completely exposed.
Is that... is that truly what she desires above all else?
That’s...
’No, wait! That’s completely insane!’ her logical mind screamed in panic, her internal thoughts turning frantic. ’That’s the exact guy who threw you around after playing with your body like a toy, you know?! He’s cold, he’s evil, and he treats the world like it owed him something! Why in the heavens do you want to keep hovering around him like a pathetic moth drawn to a dangerous flame!’
The Sun Moon Emperor chuckled softly, the rich, ancient sound echoing with a deep, thoroughly amused sympathy. "Ah, love... the ultimate, greatest enemy of every great cultivator to ever walk the celestial paths."
He tilted his head back, looking up at the infinite darkness as he offered a quiet, philosophical quote. "It is a force that defies the rigid laws of cultivation. True love can act as the supreme catalyst that elevates a mortal soul to shatter the very gates of the heavens, giving them the strength to conquer universes for the sake of another. Yet, if it is misaligned, it is also the singular, most devastating weapon that can completely ruin a sovereign, dragging them down from the peak of the Immortal Road into the dirt of absolute despair. It is the one variable no array can calculate."
Love?
Xu Xiansu’s mind reeled, her heart hammering violently against her ribs.
No, she absolutely doesn’t love Shen Haoran, does she?! That made no logical sense!
He’s completely evil, he’s ruthlessly manipulative, a textbook megalomaniac, and he is incredibly, unapologetically selfish and self-centered! He doesn’t possess a single chivalrous bone in his magnificent body!
And...and...and...!
As she stood there in the dark, thinking of more ways to curse the man, thinking of more ways to hate him, the truth she had been hiding deep within her hear just began to force its way to the surface, compelling a deep, painful self-reflection.
She slowly thought every single interaction she had shared with him, both in this current timeline and within the fractured memories of that other life.
The anger, the bitter resentment, the deep obsession with his movements... it all began to realign under a terrifying new lens.
She slowly realized, with an iron clad certainty, the true nature of her hatred towards him.
The real, underlying reason why she had so intensely hated him both in this life and that other life wasn’t because he was evil, it wasn’t because he was manipulative, it wasn’t for any of that reason.
It was because, despite all her talents, despite all her efforts, her knowledge and her pride... she didn’t even enter his eyes.
He had looked right through her as if she were nothing more than a passing shadow on the wall, completely indifferent to her existence.
Her hatred was nothing more than the desperate, screaming mask of a woman who was thoroughly, hopelessly ignored by the only man who mattered.
She wanted his attention, his acknowledgment, his respect.
She wanted him to look at her like she was someone important, she wanted him to look at her like he couldn’t accept her disappearing from his life.
She wanted him...to entrust his heart to her, and she wanted to entrust hers to him in return.
A cold sweat broke out across her neck as the final wall of her denial collapsed into dust, leaving her mind completely blown by the absolute absurdity of her own heart.
’Holy shit... I love Shen Haoran!’