Chapter 310: I see You.

Chapter 310: Chapter 310: I see You.

It’s late by the time Binny makes it to the courtyard.

So late, in fact, and with rain still heavy on the horizon that he’s worried that he’s missed him.

But no, as he draws near he can hear the familiar beat; the stretch of a bowstring and the hum as an arrow takes flight.

​"You’re late," Vogrid says to the night air as he wanders out from the shadows and into the dappled moonlight. It’s funny he should say that; Binny doesn’t remember them ever setting a time.

​Even so, he’s right.

​Binny is late.

​It’s all Khobi’s fault. He’s the reason he had to take a bath in the first place.

He’d gotten so filthy training with the soldiers today that his sister had taken one look at him when he’d showed up for his chores and immediately sent him away.

​"Sorry, Vector," he chimes easily, noting that the quiver set at his side is empty.

He automatically makes a beeline for the target, stuffed full of arrows. "Must’ve lost track of time~"

​Vogrid snorts, hearing the lie, but to Binny’s ears he sounds amused so he can’t mind too much.

​It’s easy, this rhythm they’ve settled into. It’s one that’s old and familiar, in all the ways it probably shouldn’t be.

And Binny has missed it.

He’s missed Vector. And it would kill the guy to admit it, but he’s pretty sure that on some level Vector has missed him, too.

No one would believe him, of course, because most people think Vogrid Vector is made of stone, but if you know where to look there are cracks all over where his thoughts and feeling show right through.

And Binny still knows just where to look. For all things change, some things stay the same.

​It’s been a long day, and Binny is absolutely beat by the time he throws himself down onto the stone bench.

He probably should’ve said something earlier, but seeing Vogrid working hard has always made him want to keep up.

It’ll be hard tomorrow, and his sister is going to be mad that he probably needs another bath, but he wouldn’t have missed a night like this for the world.

It feels nice sitting side by side like this, and Binny sighs as he slouches his weight back onto his hands so he can stare up through the branches of the cherry blossom tree.

They’re on the right side of winter to be hurtling towards spring, but on nights like this it somehow still feels a world away.

​"I saw you today," Vogrid states solemnly, speaking first. It’s funny; it used to always be Binny filling the silence, but perhaps Vector knows that all these years of holding his tongue around nobles is a habit that is hard to break. Even for him.

"At the training grounds."

​"...I know," Binny chuckles, more to the sky than anything else. Secretly, he’d been hoping he would.

He’s always hoping he does. "...I always see you, Vector," he murmurs before he can stop himself, because there’s something about this place that has always loosened his tongue and made him bold, "Even when you don’t see me."

​"Don’t be ridiculous," Vogrid scoffs quietly, glancing across at him with his green eyes oddly serious, "...I’ve always seen you, too."

​Whatever witting response that had been lying in wait on Binny’s tongue promptly fades to dust.

And if his words hadn’t been quite enough to stun him right back into silence, the accompanying look –so piercing and stern –would have done it.

​Always .

​It’s been a long time, but that look still takes Binny’s breath away.

​"Ahh, Vector," he teases airily, to cover for the way his heart skips a beat, "You sure know how to make a guy feel special~" He’d meant it mostly as a joke, but they must not quite be back where he thought they were because something about his words makes Vogrid’s expression pinch, and his hands resting in his lap abruptly clench tight.

​" Don’t ," Vogrid whispers, mouth thin and ice creeping into his voice. "...How can you say that, after all these years?" he asks, somewhat incredulous, "When I couldn’t even help you?" His expression curdles at the admission, and Binny realises that the ice isn’t for him, but for himself.

"No, not couldn’t . I just didn’t ."

​It takes Binny a long moment to figure out what on earth he’s talking about.

​Oh.

​That .

​For someone so clever, Vector sure can be stupid.

It wasn’t his fault. It was never his fault.

It was just the way things were. The way they had to be.

​Binny sighs, and looks away; up through the empty branches of the tree to the grey expanse beyond.

​"...I asked you not to," he reminds him quietly. In a way it had been the most selfish thing he’d ever asked of him.

​"You did," Vogrid says, expression stony as he too stares off to some distant place beyond the night.

What he sees is impossible to say because Binny’s eyes don’t quite work like that, but he thinks he knows, anyway, "...And I was a fool for listening to you."

​The noblemen of this castle had always liked to throw their weight around; especially the ones that needed to feel big and important, and sometimes that meant servants got caught in the crossfire.

Particularly young, mouthy servants, who didn’t yet know their place; didn’t yet understand the way of the world.

Because what do children know of responsibility, or of the roles they’re born to play.

They don’t care whose father was born noble and whose was born to serve.

But they have to grow up sometime, each and every one of them.

And in this castle that meant learning of such things; learning that blood and birth mattered, and mattered more than the bonds they forged.

And when the children Binny had laughed through his childhood with finally had to go off and become the people they were expected to be, his path too was laid out for him, and it had hurt to learn that he was not the same as them.

​And that through no fault of his own, he never would be.