Chapter 30 Your Back's in Trouble Too

A filmed consultation takes an awkward turn.

At those words, even the camera in Charlie's hands wobbled. Fortunately, it had image stabilization, or the footage would have been unwatchable.

One expression after another crossed Max's face.

The whole group was dumbfounded.

The two female students at the back covered their mouths and giggled.

Max's roommate couldn't hold it in at all. He burst out laughing.

Max went pale. “Y-you… Don't make things up! I… I don't!”

Evan shook his head.

Clara could barely keep from laughing herself. “My, young people certainly have a lot of energy these days.”

“I… I… I don't!” Max was almost frantic.

Charlie looked at Evan with a mixture of surprise and doubt. He pointed the camera at Evan's face. “H-how did you know?”

The other medical students stopped laughing as the same thought struck them. Yes, how had he known? He hadn't even asked any questions. He'd only felt a pulse. Could he really be that good?

Even Max realized it now. He too stared at Evan in shock.

Clara's eyes shone as she watched him. Just what she'd expected of Evan. He'd barely asked a thing, and already he'd stunned this whole group of troublemakers.

Evan asked the chubby student, “Would you like your classmates to step away for a moment?”

Max was taken aback. “Why?”

“Whatever you came here for, once you've registered, you're my patient. We need to protect our patients' privacy, so… why don't the two of us talk in the consulting room inside?”

Max's expression froze.

His roommate was the first to tease him. “Big Max, don't tell me you've got some embarrassing problem?”

“I don't! I'm perfectly healthy in every way.” Then he said to Evan, “Don't try to fool me. I don't believe any of this Chinese medicine stuff! And you want me to go in there? You're the one who's nervous, aren't you? What are you going to do in there, threaten me? Bribe me?”

Evan was speechless.

“Examine me right here,” Max said. “Whatever you found, say it. No need to hide anything. Just treat them as my family. There's nothing I need to keep from them.”

“You're sure?”

“Yes!” Max nodded firmly. He didn't believe Evan could have found anything. Feel around here, look over there, without asking a thing—how the hell could that tell him what was wrong?

As for those little movies with a cast of two or three—well, no shit. What guys' dorm room didn't watch that stuff?

This counted as medicine?

Chinese medicine was one big con!

Max gave a quiet snort. He'd seen right through all of Evan's tricks.

Evan shook his head. “All right. Shall I say it, then?”

“Whatever you've found, just say it!”

“Your pulse is deep, thready, and weak. A deep pulse indicates an interior pattern. A thready pulse indicates deficiency, or dampness.^[1] The Binhu Maixue says, ‘A threadlike pulse winds on: blood and qi are depleted; deficiency and exhaustion, the seven emotions out of balance. If dampness has not invaded the lower back and Kidneys, essence has been damaged and sweat is being lost.’

“It also says, ‘A thready cun foretells frequent vomiting; at the guan, abdominal distension shows Stomach deficiency. At the chi, it means cold in the dantian; diarrhea, dysentery, and involuntary seminal emissions are called depletion of yin.’^[2] I examined all three positions—cun, guan, and chi. The chi position on your left wrist was especially thready. A thready pulse at the left chi indicates diarrhea, dysentery, and involuntary seminal emissions.

“Your pulse is also fine and weak, indicating Spleen and Kidney yang deficiency, along with qi deficiency. Symptoms include palpitations, shortness of breath, spontaneous sweating, fatigue, diarrhea, impotence, and soreness and weakness in the lower back and knees.”^[3]

Max was dumbstruck, particularly at that last part.

His classmates' expressions changed too.

Charlie froze for a moment, camera still raised. This felt like a big story.

“I don't have any of that!” Max protested at once. “These pulse types of yours are all fake. You just made them up. It's a pulse! It's blood circulating… You're talking nonsense!” He was getting desperate.

“You know best whether I'm talking nonsense,” Evan said calmly. “It's your body that's ill.”

Max stopped short.

Charlie hurried to ask, “Dr. Xu, you could tell all that just from his pulse?”

“Not just his pulse, of course. His tongue is pale, tender, and purplish, with a thin white coating. The associated symptoms include sensitivity to cold, cold limbs, impotence and premature ejaculation, dizziness and ringing in the ears, frequent urination, soreness and weakness in the lower back and knees, and mental fatigue.”

Max sat there stunned.

So did Charlie.

Evan pointed to his own cheekbones. “The areas around the cheekbones correspond to the Kidneys. A dull gray or grayish-brown complexion there indicates prolonged strain from sexual activity.”

Max instinctively covered his cheekbones.

“Darkened eyelids usually point to Kidney deficiency,” Evan continued.

Max's hand jerked again, moving up to touch his eyes.

“A dull, dark philtrum with no luster indicates Kidney qi deficiency and cold. It's often seen in impotence.”^[4]

Max was utterly dazed.

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“Naturally, you can't determine a pattern from just one finding,” Evan said. “Chinese medicine requires all four diagnostic methods to be considered together. You can't neglect any of them. Today the signs are all clear: excessive sexual activity has overtaxed his Kidneys. Since he's never had a girlfriend, I imagine he's been taking care of it himself.^[5]

“Well? Having all these examinations at a hospital would probably cost you a few hundred yuan. Here it's only twenty, and it's covered by medical insurance. Still think it's expensive?”^[6]

Max turned bright red. “I… I… I…”

“There's no point in keeping up the denial,” Clara put in. “And you with the camera—this can't be much fun to film either, can it?”

They all turned to look at Max.

If there had been a crack in the floor, he would have crawled into it. He wanted to die. And the worst of it was, two of the classmates he'd come with were girls, for God's sake.

Never mind treating his Kidney deficiency. He needed a therapist first!

One phrase flashed through his mind.

Public humiliation!

Evan shook his head slightly. “Don't worry. It won't stop you from finding a girlfriend. The Kidneys don't have excess patterns, only deficiency patterns. Pretty much all men have some Kidney deficiency.”^[7]

“Huh?” Max's roommate and Charlie gave him odd looks. No man would admit to being weak!

Max was taken aback too. He hadn't expected Evan to speak up for him.

“You're still young,” Evan said. “You need to learn moderation. Restrain yourself for a while, and you'll gradually improve. Eat fewer cold and cooling foods. Medication would help you recover faster.”^[8]

For a moment, Max didn't know what to say.

His roommate leaned in again and whispered, “Hey, Big Max. That bottle of medicine on your desk, the one with the label torn off—was that Liuwei Dihuang Wan?”

Max sucked in a breath. He wanted to kill the bastard.

Charlie turned to look too. Wasn't Max always attacking Chinese medicine? Why was he taking Chinese medicine himself?

Clara shook her head helplessly.

“You're taking the wrong medicine,” Evan said. “Liuwei Dihuang Wan is for Kidney yin deficiency. You have Kidney yang deficiency and depleted Kidney essence. You've taken the wrong medicine.”^[9]

Max was taken aback. “Really?”

“Holy shit!” his roommate exclaimed. “So it really was Liuwei Dihuang Wan?”

“I'm going to kill you to keep you quiet!” Max raised his fist, ready to beat the bastard to death.

His roommate quickly dodged. Then he cried, “Ow!” and clutched his lower back.

Evan looked at him. “Looks like you've got a problem with your back too.”

His roommate went pale. “I don't!”

Reader Notes

1. ↩︎ Pulse depth, width, and strength. These are separate qualities in traditional pulse assessment. “Deep” means the pulse is more readily felt with firm pressure; “thready” describes a narrow, threadlike sensation. Neither term is a blood-pressure reading. “Interior,” “deficiency,” and “dampness” belong to the traditional pattern framework. The terminology source defines these categories; it does not verify Evan's diagnosis. Source: WHO — International standard terminologies on traditional Chinese medicine, entries 890 and 896, p. 89.
2. ↩︎ The pulse verses.Binhu Maixue, a Chinese work on pulse assessment attributed to Li Shizhen, uses mnemonic verses to associate pulse qualities with patterns. Cun, guan, and chi are the three adjacent wrist positions introduced earlier. The dantian here is the lower abdominal region, not a separate organ. The “seven emotions” are traditional categories of emotional experience. “Depletion of yin” and “essence” belong to that theoretical vocabulary. This English rendering follows the novel's quotation; the associations are not a modern diagnostic test. Sources: Binhu Maixue — “Thready,” electronic transcription (in Chinese); Low et al. — Guolin Qigong study protocol, “Preparatory relaxation exercise,” dantian terminology.
3. ↩︎ Qi, yang, and the Kidney system. Capitalized organ names identify Chinese medicine's functional systems here. Kidney deficiency is not a diagnosis of kidney failure. Qi deficiency concerns reduced functional activity; yang deficiency emphasizes a failure of warming functions, traditionally associated with coldness. The Spleen system includes digestion and fluid handling, while the Kidney system is associated with reproduction and the lower back and knees. Evan is listing symptoms associated with patterns, rather than reporting that Max has separately confirmed every symptom. Source: WHO — International standard terminologies on traditional Chinese medicine, entries 153–156, 1092, 1105, 1200, and 1276–1278.
4. ↩︎ Reading the tongue and complexion. Inspection includes the tongue's body and surface coating as separate observations, as well as facial appearance. The philtrum is the groove between the nose and upper lip. Evan's references to a Kidney region on the face are traditional correspondences, not the anatomical position of the kidneys. The sources describe inspection as a method; they do not validate the specific facial mappings, diagnosis, or inference about sexual behavior made in this scene. Sources: Hong Kong Department of Health — Diagnostic methods, “Inspection”; Hong Kong Polytechnic University — Four Diagnostic Methods.
5. ↩︎ Combining the four examinations. These are inspection, listening and smelling, questioning, and palpation. “Considering them together” means relating the information from these methods, not performing four laboratory tests. Pulse-taking is part of palpation; the tongue and face belong to inspection. Evan's inference about Max's habits is his own reasoning within the scene, not something established by the definition of the four methods. Source: Hong Kong Polytechnic University — Four Diagnostic Methods.
6. ↩︎ Medical insurance. Yibao here means China's medical insurance system. Chinese medicine services can be included through designated institutions and covered services; coverage is not an automatic promise that every visit is reimbursed in full. The clinic's twenty-yuan charge, its eligibility, and the comparison with hospital costs are Evan's statements in the story. The policy source illustrates the framework, not this fictional clinic's reimbursement terms or a date for the scene. Source: China National Healthcare Security Administration — Guidance on medical insurance support for Chinese medicine (in Chinese).
7. ↩︎ “Deficiency” and the joke. Deficiency and excess are contrasting traditional pattern categories, not ordinary judgments about someone's worth. The Chinese word xu can also suggest being “weak,” with an embarrassing sexual implication for these young men. Evan's broad assertion that the Kidneys have only deficiency patterns remains his statement. The terminology reference defines deficiency and excess; it does not establish that blanket assertion or that almost every man has such a pattern. Source: WHO — International standard terminologies on traditional Chinese medicine, entries 994–995.
8. ↩︎ Cold and cooling foods. Traditional dietary language can refer both to food temperature and to an attributed cooling property. It does not simply mean refrigerated food. Evan gives general advice here; the chapter supplies no particular foods, amounts, or prescribed medicine. Source: Hong Kong Department of Health — Managing internal heat, dietary discussion (in Chinese).
9. ↩︎ Liuwei Dihuang Wan. This named formula, commonly rendered as Six-Ingredient Rehmannia Pill, belongs to the traditional category of formulas that nourish yin. Wan means a pill preparation. Its association with Kidney yin deficiency explains Evan's distinction between yin and yang deficiency; it is not a general-purpose remedy for every complaint called “Kidney deficiency.” Kidney essence is a broader traditional concept than semen alone. These references describe the formula and its classification, without establishing Max's diagnosis, what he took, or any treatment result. Sources: Tri-Service General Hospital — Liuwei Dihuang Wan, B1920 (in Chinese); Hong Kong Baptist University — Formula database, Liuwei Dihuang Wan.