Chapter 148: I’m sorry...

~~~~~~ Amelia’s POV ~~~~~

I stared blankly at the ceiling, my mind filled with too many thoughts and no clear answer. The white ceiling above me looked almost painfully bright beneath the hospital lights.

The light reflected against the pale walls, making the room feel colder than it actually was.

A soft beeping came from the machine beside my bed every few seconds, steady and almost calming, but it did nothing to quiet the storm inside my head.

I didn’t know what to think anymore.

Janina’s words were still fresh in my mind, sitting heavily in my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to push them away.

I slowly turned my head toward the bedside table. That’s when I noticed Sylvia’s phone.

It was lying beside the glass of water and the few things she had placed there earlier. The phone was only a short distance from my hand, its dark screen reflecting the bright light above.

Sylvia was still asleep in the chair beside my bed, her head resting near the mattress. The blanket I had placed over her shoulders was still there, covering her tired body.

One side of her hair had fallen slightly across her face, and she looked completely exhausted.

I looked at her for a moment.

She had stayed beside me all night. She had barely slept, yet she hadn’t complained once.

My eyes returned to the phone.

I hesitated.

I knew I shouldn’t touch it.

It wasn’t mine.

Going through Sylvia’s phone without her permission was wrong, and I knew that. My conscience immediately reminded me of that, but the questions in my head were louder.

I needed to do something.

I couldn’t keep lying there while everything remained uncertain.

I slowly reached for it.

My arm felt heavier than usual as I stretched toward the bedside table. I moved carefully, making sure the mattress wouldn’t shake enough to wake Sylvia. My fingers finally closed around the phone, and I pulled it closer.

The screen lit up when I pressed the button.

I froze.

My eyes immediately went to Sylvia.

She didn’t move.

I waited for a few seconds, watching her breathing. Her chest rose and fell slowly beneath the blanket.

I released the breath I had been holding.

There was no password.

I stared at the screen for a second, almost surprised.

Sylvia really didn’t put a password on her phone.

Part of me felt relieved; another part of me felt even more guilty.

I swallowed and unlocked it.

The brightness from the screen made me narrow my eyes. I lowered it slightly so the light wouldn’t wake Sylvia, then opened her contacts.

My finger moved slowly down the list.

There were several names I didn’t recognize. Some had numbers saved without pictures, while others were people whose names meant nothing to me. I kept scrolling, my heartbeat growing slightly faster with every movement of my finger.

Then I saw one that I recognized.

Camila.

My finger stopped.

For some reason, seeing her name made me feel a little relieved.

Maybe because Camila was someone I trusted.

Maybe because I knew she would listen.

Or maybe because I simply needed someone outside this room.

I stared at her name for a moment before tapping it. The phone began ringing.

My heart immediately jumped.

I glanced at Sylvia. She didn’t move.

I quickly lowered the phone and waited, but she remained asleep.

I turned my attention back to the screen and held the phone against my ear. It connected almost immediately.

"Hey, Sylvia," Camila said.

"It’s me, Amelia," I replied quietly.

There was a brief silence on the other end.

Then I heard her voice again.

"Oh, Lia. You’re awake."

"Yes." I glanced at Sylvia again before continuing. "I want you to come over."

Camila immediately became more alert. "Is there any problem?"

I looked down at the bedsheet covering my legs. My fingers slowly curled into the fabric.

"Not really," I said, choosing my words carefully. "I just want you here. Call my mom and tell her not to come over. Tell them to call Sylvia to get something at home for me."

There was another pause.

"Wait. What are you trying to do?" Camila asked.

I looked at Sylvia. Her face was peaceful in sleep.

"We’ll talk once you come."

Before Camila could ask anything else, I ended the call and lowered the phone slowly.

My heart was beating faster than before.

I stared at the screen, my thumb hovering over it. For a second, I wondered if I should have told Camila everything over the phone.

But no.

Not when Sylvia was sleeping only a few feet away.

I couldn’t risk it.

My eyes moved toward Sylvia again. I knew I couldn’t let her find out that I had called Camila.

I quickly opened the call history and searched for the recent call. My fingers moved faster this time. When I saw Camila’s name, I pressed the option to delete it.

The record disappeared.

I stared at the empty space for a moment.

It felt strange seeing no evidence that I had just called her.

I locked the phone and gently placed it back on the bedside table, exactly where I had found it. I adjusted it slightly, making sure it looked untouched, and then I pulled my hand away.

I looked at Sylvia again.

Her face looked peaceful, completely different from the worried expression she had been wearing while awake. Her head was still resting near the edge of my bed, and the blanket covered part of her shoulders.

She looked vulnerable.

For a moment, guilt touched my chest.

I looked away, slowly laid myself back against the pillow, and closed my eyes.

A few minutes passed, and I could hear Sylvia’s breathing from beside me. It was soft and steady.

I kept my eyes closed.

I tried to calm myself, but I couldn’t.

My mind kept returning to what I had just done.

Then Sylvia’s phone suddenly rang.

My eyes opened immediately. The sound seemed unusually loud in the quiet room.

Sylvia shifted in her chair, slowly lifting her head from the edge of the bed. She blinked several times, clearly struggling to wake up. Her face showed the exhaustion of someone who had been sleeping in an uncomfortable position.

I quickly closed my eyes.

I already knew who was calling.

Sylvia reached for the phone on the bedside table and answered it.

"Hello, Mom," she said, her voice hoarse from sleep.

I listened quietly.

"Please, baby, can you come home and get something from Amelia?" Stella asked through the phone.

Sylvia rubbed her eyes with her free hand.

"But I can’t leave Amelia here alone," she said slowly.

My heart tightened.

That was exactly what I had been afraid of.

What if she refused to leave?

What if she told her mother she couldn’t go?

What if she stayed?

I opened my eyes, pretending I had only just woken up.

Sylvia immediately looked at me.

Our eyes met and a small smile appeared on her face.

I forced myself to smile because I didn’t want anything to make her stay.

I didn’t want her to worry about me.

I didn’t want her to look at me too closely and notice the fear in my eyes, and most of all, I didn’t want her to realize that I was hiding something.

"Who’s that?" I asked quietly, pretending I had no idea who was on the phone.

"Your mom," Sylvia replied.

She lowered the phone slightly before explaining, "She said I should come over and get something for you, but I can’t leave you here."

I gave her a small smile and shook my head.

"Don’t worry about me. Just go and get the stuff, okay?"

Sylvia stared at me. Her eyes slowly moved across my face. I could see the concern in them.

She was studying me.

For a moment, I wondered if she could see through me.

Sylvia knew me well enough to notice when something wasn’t right.

I tried to keep my expression calm.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I’m fine."

The lie tasted bitter.

I hated saying it.

Sylvia continued staring at me. She didn’t look convinced.

Her eyebrows drew together slightly, and she tilted her head as if trying to understand what I wasn’t saying.

"Please," I said softly. "Just go."

I silently begged her to leave.

Please just go, Sylvia.

I didn’t want to say it out loud. If I did, she might hear the desperation in my voice.

Finally, she nodded.

"Fine. I’m coming to get it," she said into the phone.

"Alright," Stella replied, then the call ended.

Sylvia lowered the phone and placed it back on the bedside table and looked at me again.

I tried to keep my expression normal.

"Are you sure you can stay alone?" she asked.

There was something different about her voice.

It was softer now and more careful.

As if some part of her still sensed that something was wrong.

I forced another smile. "Yes, I can. Just start going in case you want to come back."

Sylvia frowned slightly.

I almost laughed at how suspicious she looked.

She knew me too well.

At least, she seemed to.

I quickly looked away before she could study my face any longer.

"Okay," she finally said.

Sylvia stood up from the chair. The chair made a faint scraping sound against the floor.

She straightened her clothes and adjusted the blanket that had slipped from her shoulders. For a moment, she stood there rubbing the back of her neck, looking tired.

I watched her quietly. She looked exhausted.

The guilt inside me grew heavier.

She had barely slept, and all I had to do was the one sending her away.

But I couldn’t change my mind.

I needed her to leave.

Sylvia picked up her phone and took a few steps toward the door.

I watched her walk away. She stopped, turned around, and walked back toward me.

My heart started beating faster.

She stood beside my bed and looked down at me. There was a softness in her eyes that made it difficult for me to hold her gaze.

I looked at her for a moment before lowering my eyes.

She leaned down, and before I could say anything, her lips touched my forehead.

The kiss was gentle and warm.

I felt the softness of her lips against my skin, and for a second, I forgot about everything else.

It lasted only a moment, but somehow it felt heavier than it should have.

Sylvia pulled back slightly and looked at me.

"I love you, babe. Just wait for me."

My chest tightened.

I didn’t know what to say.

The words struck somewhere deep inside me. Guilt crept into me so quickly that it almost hurt. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

Why did she have to say that?

Why did she have to look at me like that?

Why did she have to make me feel even worse about what I was doing?

I looked away.

I didn’t want her to see my eyes becoming wet.

If she saw me crying, she would stay. She would ask questions, wanting to know what was wrong, and I wasn’t ready for that.

So I forced another smile.

"Okay."

Sylvia smiled back and gently patted my hair before straightening.

"I won’t be long."

I nodded. "Alright."

She turned around and started walking toward the door.

I watched her back as she walked away. My fingers tightened around the bedsheet.

A part of me wanted to call her back.

I wanted to tell her not to go.

I wanted to tell her that I was scared.

I wanted to tell her that I didn’t know if what I was about to do was the right thing.

But I remained silent.

Sylvia reached the door. Her hand rested on the handle, then she stopped.

She turned around and looked at me one more time.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

She simply stood there, watching me from across the room, and smiled.

It was a small, warm smile. The kind that made my chest ache.

I gave her a small smile in return.

She opened the door and stepped out. The door slowly closed behind her.

Click.

I stared at the closed door for a few seconds.

I didn’t move. I simply stared at it as if I expected it to open again.

Then I slowly sank deeper into the pillow.

My eyes burned.

I turned my face slightly toward the window and blinked several times.

I tried to hold the tears back, but a tear escaped anyway.

I quickly wiped it away.

I hated this feeling.

I hated lying to Sylvia.

She trusted me, stayed beside me all night, covered me with care when I was weak, and had watched over me even though she was exhausted.

And all I did was trick her into leaving.

I closed my eyes, and her voice replayed in my mind.

I love you, babe.

My throat tightened. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep another sob from escaping.

"I’m sorry, Sylvia," I whispered. My voice broke slightly.

I wiped another tear from my cheek and stared at the ceiling again.

The bright hospital light blurred through the tears in my eyes.

"I’m sorry, Sylvia, but I really love you."

The words left my mouth softly.

For a moment, I simply lay there. The room felt strangely empty without her.

I could still feel the warmth of her kiss on my forehead. I lifted my hand and touched the spot unconsciously.

Another tear slipped down my cheek.

I quickly wiped it away.

Deep inside me, I knew I hadn’t sent Sylvia away because I wanted to hurt her. I hadn’t done it because I didn’t care about her.

It was the opposite.

I cared too much.

That was what made this so difficult.

I had sent her away because there was something I needed to do.

And I knew that if Sylvia stayed beside me, I might lose the courage to do it.

I turned my head toward the bedside table.

I didn’t know if I would regret what I was about to do.

But I knew one thing.

I had already made my choice.

My fingers slowly tightened around the bedsheet.

Whatever happened next, I knew I couldn’t take it back.