Chapter 29: Letting Go

It hurt, but Kai was used to pain, because he had been punched, kicked, bitten, stabbed, and once hit by a minivan in a Walmart parking lot, but he had never felt pain like this. It felt like someone had tied a rope around his heart and was trying to rip it out of his chest.

A stream of gold shot out of Kai’s chest and stretched all the way across the Cathedral, and everyone watched as it connected to the High Priestess’s finger. Mira covered her mouth with both hands, and Garrick tried to rush to Kai’s side, but two guards blocked his path with their spears.

[Kai] Syraphim said, and her voice sounded far away. [I cannot hold on]

"Don’t let go," Kai said through clenched teeth.

[I am trying]

The High Priestess pinched her fingers together and pulled, and Kai screamed as something ripped out of his body.

It wasn’t just a stream of light anymore, but a hand, then an arm, then a shoulder, and then long strands of platinum hair and a face he recognized, even though he had only seen it once before, on a beach under the light of the moon.

Syraphim hovered above the floor of the Cathedral with the bottom half of her body still inside Kai’s chest. Her white eyes, each with a gold ring around the pupil, were wide with fear. She wore a see-through white dress that flowed around her as if she were underwater, the gold collar around her neck was pulsing, and two golden rings circled her head like a halo. A red ribbon ran from her wrist down into Kai’s chest.

The entire Cathedral gasped as the Holy Champion stepped back and then looked at the ceiling very purposefully, because her dress was very see-through.

"Oh, gods," one of the worshipers said.

"Is that the gift?" another asked.

"Why is she so beautiful?" someone asked.

"Why is she naked?" someone else asked.

Syraphim looked down at herself, and then down at Kai.

"Kai," Syraphim said out loud, and her voice filled the Cathedral. "Your heart rate is increasing."

"Now is not the time," Kai gasped.

"Are you scared, horny, or humiliated?" Syraphim asked.

"YES!" Kai yelled.

The High Priestess glared at him and yanked harder as Syraphim slid further out of Kai’s body, and the red ribbon pulled so taut that it began to vibrate like a guitar string.

"The gift was made for the Champion," the High Priestess said. "She is the Mother’s gift to him. Champion, come and receive what is yours."

"Champion," the High Priestess said with more force when the Holy Champion didn’t move.

The Holy Champion walked over and stood next to Kai, and he looked down at Kai on the floor, and then up at Syraphim, and this time he didn’t look away. Syraphim met his gaze, and no one in the Cathedral breathed.

Kai could see in her eyes that she was being drawn to him, just like she had been on the dock in Reedhollow. She had been made for him, every part of her crafted to fit him, and Kai could feel her pulling towards the Champion like a flower turning to the sun.

He understood, because he had always clung to things that weren’t his, like money and lies and people, and he had never let go of anything unless it was forced out of his hands. But this wasn’t his, and she had never been his.

[Kai] Syraphim said in his mind. [I am sorry. I cannot help it]

Kai looked up at her with his chest on fire and his eyes tearing up, but he gave her a smile anyway, and it wasn’t his con man smile, but the real one, the one he barely ever used.

"Hey," Kai said. "It’s okay."

Syraphim looked down at him, puzzled by the smile.

"He’s your match," Kai said. "He’s never lied to anyone or hurt anyone. I think he’d make a really good god, much better than me." Kai swallowed the lump in his throat. "Go be with him."

"Kai," Mira said from behind him, and her voice trembled.

"I’m a liar," Kai said. "I can’t keep the good things in my life. You’ll be better off without me." He took one long, deep breath. "I’m letting go."

Kai stopped fighting, and the ribbon went slack, while behind him, Elowen lifted her sword, and it was dark.

The Holy Champion looked at the sword, then at Kai kneeling on the floor, letting go of something he loved, and then up at Syraphim, who was crying, and Kai hadn’t even known she could cry. Her tears were gold, and they drifted away from her face like tiny sparks.

"No," Syraphim said.

"What?" the High Priestess asked, her eyes narrowing.

"No," Syraphim said again, louder.

She spun around in the air to face Kai directly.

"I was made for him," Syraphim said. "But I was given to you. I watched you lie to everyone you came in contact with. I watched you fail at everything you tried to do. I watched you fall through docks, and light up your pants, and buy a woman with rocks." She wiped the golden tears from her face. "And I watched every one of those failures save someone."

"I was not made for him," Syraphim said, as Kai stared up at her. "You were made for me."

She grabbed the red ribbon with both hands and pulled until it snapped tight, and a flash of gold ripped through the Cathedral. The High Priestess let out a cry and stumbled backwards, clutching her hand, as the beam of light connecting her to Kai snapped in half.

Syraphim shot back down to Kai, smiled at him through her tears, and sank back into his chest.

The warmth flooded back into Kai’s body, and he felt it everywhere, from his toes to the top of his head, and he gasped and fell forward onto his hands and knees on the cold stone floor. Then the ding rang out, louder than it had ever been, so loud that Kai was sure everyone in the Cathedral could hear it.

[Faith gained. Follower: Syraphim. Faith: 100%. Status: True Believer.]

[True believers: 1/100.]

Kai read the message over and over again to make sure it was real, and it was still there.

"You," Kai whispered. "You’re my first true believer."

[Yes. I believe in you, Kai Mercer, with all of my being]

"Since when did you believe in me?" Kai whispered.

[Since you let go]

Kai put his head in his hands, because he didn’t want anyone in the Cathedral to see his face.

[Your heart rate is increasing]

"Shut up," Kai whispered.

[Are you scared, horny, or humiliated?]

"None of those," Kai whispered. "It’s something else."

[I do not have a word for that one]

"Neither do I," Kai whispered.

When Kai finally looked up, the High Priestess was back at the top of the stairs with her hand pressed to her heart, looking pale and sickly. Draven stood next to her, and he wasn’t smiling.

The Holy Champion stood beside Kai and stared at him for a long time, and something had changed in his cool blue eyes.

"She chose you," the Holy Champion said.

"I didn’t tell her to," Kai said.

"That is why she chose you," the Holy Champion said.

"The gift will not be mine," the Holy Champion said, turning to face the High Priestess. "I will not take something that is not freely given. If the Mother wanted it to be mine, it would be."

"The Mother’s will is my word," the High Priestess said.

The Holy Champion didn’t respond, but he didn’t leave Kai’s side either.

Draven stepped forward with a smile on his face, and Kai knew a fake smile when he saw one, because he had worn plenty of them himself.

"High Priestess," Draven said. "Whatever that thing is, it has taken over his mind, and that only proves my point. He is a heretic who controls demons. He destroyed my fortress and kidnapped my soldiers, and I want him put on trial and executed by morning."

Elowen’s sword lit up brightly behind him.

"By whose word?" the Holy Champion asked.

"Mine," Draven said. "I am a lord of this city, and my word is my bond."

"Is it?" Mira asked.

Everyone turned to look at her as Mira knelt down next to Kai and pulled a piece of parchment out of the inside pocket of his vest, still stained from the river. Then she stood and walked past him to the center of the Cathedral with her head held high, just like she had on the auction stage, and she reached up and pulled her hood off.

Her long silver hair cascaded down her back, and the whispering began. Someone gasped in the pews, an old man in the front row stood up to get a better look at her, and Draven’s smile disappeared.

"My name is Mira Vallen," Mira said, and her voice rang through the Cathedral. "I am the daughter of Lord Aldric Vallen, who was executed in this city for a crime he did not commit."

She held the parchment high up in the air for everyone to see.

"And I accuse Lord Castor Draven of forgery and murder," Mira said.