Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

Chapter 323: The Pink Sacrifice and The Staging Area

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The dawn of January 31st broke cold, clear, and quiet over Wiltshire.

Orion had risen long before the sun. He didn’t rush. He had completed his morning Occlumency routines, centered his core, and smoothly dispatched his Reflection Clone through the Vanishing Cabinet to Hogwarts. For the entirety of today, the clone would sit in the Great Hall, attend his third-year classes, and provide an airtight, impenetrable alibi backed by dozens of student and faculty witnesses.

The real Orion spent the morning pacing the quiet halls of Malfoy Manor, mentally verifying the interlocking gears of his blueprint.

Promptly at nine o’clock, the heavy door of his bedroom swung open.

Bellatrix Lestrange stepped inside. Floating silently through the air behind her, held aloft by a lazy flick of her curved walnut wand, was the limp, unconscious body of Dolores Umbridge.

"Is she ready?" Orion asked, stepping forward.

"Completely Obliviated," Bellatrix reported, her eyes glittering with dark satisfaction. "Her mind is thoroughly scrambled, exactly as you instructed. She doesn’t know who she is, where she has been, or what day it is. She is an empty vessel."

She pulled a heavy, dark glass flask from her pocket, the thick, mud-like Polyjuice Potion swirling sluggishly inside.

"I have already dissolved enough of her hair into the brew for four hours of transformation usage," Bellatrix added, handing him the flask for inspection. "Though I sincerely doubt we will require that much time."

"We won’t," Orion agreed smoothly. He gestured toward the master trunk resting on the floor.

Without a shred of ceremony, Bellatrix flicked her wand, casually pitching the unconscious Senior Undersecretary straight down into the open hatchway of the trunk like a sack of dirty laundry. A soft, distant thud echoed from below as Umbridge landed on the wooden floorboards of the primary staging room.

Orion looked at his godmother, his indigo eyes locking onto hers with absolute, unwavering intensity.

"You know what to do, Aunt Bella," Orion murmured, reaching into his pocket and retrieving the heavy bronze disc bearing the Ministry seal—the key to Vault 162. He pressed it firmly into her palm. "I trust you to get us through the front doors."

Bellatrix’s breath hitched. Hearing him explicitly state his trust in her sent a visible, electric shiver through her frame, the familiar bond surging with fierce, fanatical pride.

"I won’t fail you, my little star," she promised, her voice dropping into a breathless, devoted whisper.

"I know," Orion smiled.

He didn’t linger. He turned and climbed down the wooden ladder into the master trunk.

He dropped onto the floorboards of the vast staging room, stepping casually over the sprawled, snoring form of Dolores Umbridge.

He looked around, thoroughly approving of Kreacher’s handiwork. Yesterday afternoon, Orion had instructed the ancient elf to furnish the massive, empty space. Kreacher had raided the Manor’s disused guest suites, hauling down a plush, high-backed leather sofa, a heavy mahogany table, and several brass lanterns that cast a warm, steady glow over the room. It no longer looked like an empty wooden box; it looked like an underground command post.

Orion walked over and sank into the leather sofa, crossing his legs.

"Dobby," Orion called out.

CRACK.

The free elf appeared, standing rigidly at attention, wearing his clean knitted vest.

"Remain here on standby, Dobby," Orion commanded softly. "When the time comes to execute your phase of the operation, I will give the signal."

"Dobby is ready! Dobby will wait for the word!" the elf squeaked, perching vigilantly on the edge of the mahogany table.

Orion rested his elbows on the armrests, lacing his fingers together beneath his chin.

Now... we wait, Orion thought.

A tight, thrilling coil of adrenaline tightened in his chest. For the first time since his reincarnation, the absolute success of his plan was not resting entirely in his own hands. He was actively relying on someone else to breach the perimeter. It introduced an element of vulnerability that made his analytical mind buzz with anxious, electric excitement.

"Are you ready, Sparkle?" Orion asked mentally.

The blue interface manifested instantly in his line of sight, her digital waveform pulsing with an uncharacteristically serious, brilliant gold light.

"Boss," Sparkle’s voice carried a rare, breathless edge. "I feel like I have been waiting for this exact moment for years. Let’s rob the goblins."

Upstairs in the bedroom, Bellatrix Lestrange stood alone before Orion’s full-length silver mirror.

She looked down at the dark glass flask in her hand, letting out a long, deeply suffering sigh.

"Alright," Bellatrix muttered to herself, her nose crinkling in pure, visceral disgust. "This is going to suck so profoundly. But... since Orion trusts me... I suppose I have to do it. For him."

She uncorked the flask and took a massive, burning swallow of the Polyjuice Potion.

The reaction was instantaneous and agonizing.

A violent, boiling sensation erupted in her stomach. Bellatrix gasped, dropping the flask onto the vanity as her vision blurred. Her skin bubbled, her bone structure warping and shrinking. Her long, elegant limbs compressed, her spine thickening, her sharp, beautiful aristocratic cheekbones melting into soft, flabby layers of sagging flesh.

Within thirty seconds, the metamorphosis ceased.

Bellatrix slowly, dreadfully opened her eyes, looking up into Orion’s silver-framed mirror.

The enchanted mirror took one look at the short, squat, toad-faced woman standing before it and instantly let out an ear-splitting, horrified, theatrical shriek.

"SWEET MERLIN’S GHOST!" the mirror wailed in a shrill, gagging voice. "WHAT UNHOLY ABOMINATION IS CURSING MY GLASS?! THE FASHION! THE POSTURE! THE AGONIZING LACK OF JAWLINE! BEGONE, FOUL BEAST, BEFORE MY SILVER CRACKS!"

Bellatrix’s new, flabby face contorted into a furious, venomous grimace that looked entirely bizarre on Dolores Umbridge’s features.

"Shut up, you useless piece of glass," Bellatrix snapped, her voice coming out in Umbridge’s high-pitched, girlish, breathless register. She shuddered violently at the sound of her own voice.

She looked down at herself, closing her eyes in sheer agony.

"Orion," she groaned, clutching her newly rounded temples. "If not for you, I would never have lowered myself to this."

She picked up the flask and moved briskly to the bed, where a pile of clothing lay waiting. Gritting her teeth, she shed her elegant black robes, aggressively balking and hissing in disgust as she forced her squat new body into a heavy, sickeningly pink tweed dress, a fluffy pink wool cardigan, and a pair of sensible, low-heeled black pumps. She fastened a tiny, atrocious black velvet bow into her newly mousy-brown curls.

Finally, she walked to the corner of the room and picked up the primary piece of hardware.

It was a large, heavy parasol-style umbrella that she had instructed Narcissa to create with the help of the Malfoy elves assistance.

The canopy was crafted from a rigid, non-magical carbon-composite frame, wide enough to cover an entire cart, lined with thick, completely impermeable synthetic fabric. It was completely mundane. It possessed zero magical core, zero enchantments, and zero transfigured properties.

True to Orion’s aesthetic punishment, Narcissa had ensured the fabric was a garish, violently bright shade of matching pink.

It looked utterly ridiculous. But it was mathematically designed to ensure that when they plummeted through the subterranean tunnels, not a single drop of the Thief’s Downfall would make physical contact with her skin.

Bellatrix held the heavy pink umbrella in one hand and drew Umbridge’s short, stubby wand with the other.

She walked over to the open hatch of the master trunk, tapping the brass latch.

CLACK.

The lid snapped shut, the internal mechanisms locking securely. With a sharp flick of her stolen wand, Bellatrix cast a localized Levitation Charm, bringing the heavy trunk up to float effortlessly at her hip.

She looked toward the bedroom door, taking a deep, steadying breath, forcing her posture into Umbridge’s characteristic, slightly waddling, self-important strut.

"Let’s begin," the pink toad whispered in a voice of pure, unadulterated malice.

She pushed the door open and marched toward the door, bound for Diagon Alley.

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