Chapter 83: I Just Missed You So Much

Chapter 83: Chapter 83: I Just Missed You So Much

The night was deep, the sky glittering with stars.

The small courtyard, bathed in moonlight, was as serene as any other summer night.

Only the main house lacked the candlelight that usually burned until dawn.

The intermittent coughing would never be heard again.

The silence was unnerving.

Cui Lingyao stopped and looked up at the bright moonlight, a whirlwind of emotions in her heart.

"Miss..." Behind her, Zhiqiu gently admonished, "You must take care of yourself. If Mrs. Shen were here, she wouldn’t want to see you so heartbroken."

The dead can’t be brought back to life.

This was the first time Cui Lingyao had been forced to accept a death.

And the first time she had tasted the helplessness that came with true loss.

’She was actually thinking about Xie Jinbai.’

Three years ago, her own death had been swift and clean.

’When she left him to face her sudden demise, what did he feel?’

’Was he like her today...?’

’Or was it even worse?’

After all, she and Mrs. Shen had only shared a mother-daughter bond for a few days.

But she and he...

Cui Lingyao sighed softly. "Prepare my bath. I want to wash up."

Zhiqiu acknowledged her request, then asked, "Miss, would you like something to eat?"

Cui Lingyao hadn’t eaten all evening and had no appetite. She shook her head, declining.

Zhiqiu didn’t press her further.

Soon, the servants in the courtyard responsible for cleaning and menial tasks began to bustle about.

Cui Lingyao stood quietly under the eaves for a moment before pushing open the door and returning to her room.

The moment she stepped inside, a familiar scent filled her nostrils, and her calm expression changed instantly.

She stood still and turned her head to Zhiqiu. "You don’t need to follow me. I want to be alone for a while. Come get me when the water is ready."

Zhiqiu agreed and was about to light the candles in the room.

Cui Lingyao said, "I’ll do it myself. You can go."

Zhiqiu didn’t sense anything amiss, assuming her mistress simply wanted to be alone after the pain of losing her mother. She gave Cui Lingyao a worried glance and withdrew.

The door slowly closed.

The room was pitch-black. Cui Lingyao stood where she was, listening to Zhiqiu’s footsteps fade into the distance. Her lips moved. "Come out."

Her voice was soft and hoarse.

No one answered. There was no movement in the room.

Cui Lingyao closed her eyes. "You’re not coming out, are you?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, she turned to leave.

She had just turned when a soft sound came from the inner chamber, sectioned off by a folding screen. In an instant, a figure was upon her.

Cui Lingyao’s waist was cinched tight as someone pulled her firmly into an embrace from behind.

"How did you know?" Xie Jinbai buried his face in the crook of her neck, his voice tinged with puzzlement.

His movements had actually been detected by her, a girl with no martial skills whatsoever.

Cui Lingyao didn’t speak. She reached up to pinch the head nestled against her neck, trying to push him away.

Xie Jinbai refused to let go. He ached with longing for her.

Today, she and Shen Tingyu had appeared as a couple before the Shen family. For him not to have acted out in that situation was already a sign of his immense consideration for her.

’It made no sense for her to forbid him from being close now that they were alone.’

Xie Jinbai pressed his lips to the side of her neck, nuzzling her gently. The bridge of his high nose brushed against the delicate skin by her ear.

Like an addict getting a fix, he breathed in her scent, as if drinking poison to quench his thirst.

Suddenly, his body stiffened as he realized something.

"You knew all along?"

The girl in his arms said nothing.

Xie Jinbai reached out, grabbed her shoulders, and turned her to face him.

The room was unlit, illuminated only by slivers of moonlight. In the darkness, his eyes shone with an astonishing brightness. "You knew on the very first night I came, didn’t you?"

Cui Lingyao was annoyed with him, so she refused to enlighten him.

Xie Jinbai waited a moment. Seeing her resort to ’silence is golden’ again, he didn’t get angry. He simply lowered his head to kiss her.

"Don’t you try that with me!"

Cui Lingyao clapped a hand over his mouth and pushed him back a little, saying irritably, "Does it even matter if I knew?"

In any case, her identity was now completely exposed.

She no longer had to go to the trouble of dispelling his suspicions.

As for everything else, it was completely irrelevant.

But this detail, which she dismissed as unimportant, made Xie Jinbai completely overcome with emotion.

He grabbed her wrist and began kissing her palm.

His hot breath scalded her skin, making her fingertips tremble. She tried again and again to pull her hand back, but couldn’t get it free.

The room was dim, so she couldn’t make out his expression, but she could feel that he was acting like an addict, finding all sorts of ways to kiss her hand.

"Stop kissing me!"

Cui Lingyao, blushing furiously, fumbled with her other hand to pinch his cheek. "I just burned paper money," she said deliberately. "I haven’t washed my hands."

Xie Jinbai’s movements paused, and then he let out a muffled, husky laugh.

"I didn’t scare you, did I?" He held her hand and pulled her into his arms. "I just missed you so much. Really, Yaoyao, I missed you so much."

So much...

So much that at any sign she might care, he was overcome with emotion.

’How could it not be important?’

’So she understands me this well.’

’So she isn’t indifferent to me after all.’

After a single night, she could tell he had been there just from the faint scent he’d left in the air.

How could that not be a sign that she cared?

Xie Jinbai kissed her temple, coaxing her. "Yaoyao, you like me too, don’t you?"

He had come tonight ready to demand an explanation, but now, his heart was so full of joy that he had completely forgotten his original purpose.

He had completely forgotten the shock and anger he’d felt that afternoon when he saw her at Mrs. Shen’s bedside, nodding in agreement to marry Shen Tingyu.

Cui Lingyao couldn’t understand how he could be so happy. With a wooden expression, she gave him a shove and reminded him, "Stop being so handsy." ℯℯ𝘭.

She refused to answer directly whether she liked him or not. Xie Jinbai’s smile faltered slightly, but he quickly understood.

’She just lost her mother; it’s completely normal that she’s in no mood for romance.’

He didn’t loosen his arms, holding her tightly as he comforted her in a gentle voice, "Don’t be too sad. Everyone has their own fate. Mrs. Shen was frail for many years; this day was bound to come. Seeing you cry like that really breaks my heart."

The man with a fearsome reputation, a man known to be grim and iron-willed, had somehow learned to coax and soothe her without ever being taught.

And he did it with a surprising familiarity.

His voice was deep, gentle, and utterly captivating.

Cui Lingyao had been crying and kneeling all evening and was exhausted. After trying to push him away twice to no avail, she couldn’t be bothered to struggle anymore. She simply curled up in his arms, quietly listening to his voice.

After a long while, she suddenly looked up and asked softly, "When I died, did you cry like I did today?"

...

The room fell silent in an instant.

It was as if someone had pressed pause. The man before her went completely still, his body rigid.

In the darkness, Cui Lingyao couldn’t see his expression.

Seeing him silent, she thought for a moment and added, "Probably not. I’ve never seen you cry before."

’The tears he’d secretly shed into her neck during the day didn’t count.’

Xie Jinbai was quiet for a long time. When he finally spoke again, his voice held a trace of resignation.

He patted the girl’s head and asked her, "Do you want to see me cry?"

"Of course not," Cui Lingyao denied, insisting, "I was just curious."

Curious...

A smile crept into Xie Jinbai’s eyes. He let out a low "Oh?" and leaned close to her ear. "I have something I’m curious about, too. How about we enlighten each other?"