Chapter 42: Julia, The Sticky Saviour

“Urgh, I hate silk. It feels weird against my skin.” Julia whined as she adjusted her body to fit inside the petite dress.

“Well you’re going to a banquet to celebrate with the freakin’ entire extended nobility of Lolcons! Ya gotta dress to impress!” Twolia retorted.

“Why aren’t you coming again?” Julia asked, pouting Julia wore their quite comfortable shorts and jacket combination.

“Because your hair is way too freaking long when we’re together because you’ve been a fat ass.” Twolia explained with a smug laugh.

“Hey! I needed mass to take all those dragons down! Plus Lolcons have the best sweets.” Julia retorted defensively.

“True.” Twolia nodded, grabbing one that was in her pocket and munching on it.

“We should probably figure out something to do about this huh…” Julia mumbled, noting how she could effortlessly split into two of herself with a short hair cut now. The pair were cut off by a frantic banging at the door.

“Are you finished? The banquet’s starting soon!” The house lady shouted as quietly as she could manage.

“Yeah yeah!” Julia shouted, looking into the mirror.

“Hey pass me some slime, my hair’s nowhere cute enough this short.” Julia demanded, sticking her hand out to Twolia.

“Who made you the boss?” Twolia grumbled, unceremoniously tossing a ball of sludge at Julia’s head, which absorbed the blob into a fringe and pony tail.

“Hey do you want to be the one stuck in this thing?” Julia retorted as she walked to the door, opening it to reveal the stunned house lady.

“T-there’s two of you… right…” The house lady mumbled as Julia walked out.

“We’re sending the evil twin out!” Twolia laughed as she kicked back on the dressing room couch.

“O-of course…” The house lady sighed as she saw Julia was already making her way to the dining hall.

“M-my lady! Do you know the proper etiquette with-”

“Nope! I’m just a bumpkin with a knack for hitting dragons!” Julia laughed as she walked with her usual poor posture.

“My goodness…” The house lady gasped, letting Julia walk ahead into the great banquet hall of Lolcons’ capital city, Burchezeg.

It was a city more influenced by the Far Eastern culture of Aurora, despite being in the hands of the Oldsier dynasty it was still quite entwined with the major group of the Far East of Aurora.

The Dwarves.

The Kingdom of Oldser bordered the edge of the Dwarves former empire, many of the cities were forts built during Dwarven conquests, despite the native human populations having reclaimed them as their own the influence from them was still clear.

For one, the local peasants still prayed to the dwarven god Logos. For two, it meant their castles were mostly retrofitted Dwarven forts. For three, it meant that even the nobility of the region had inherited the dwarven stiffness for social rules.

Ladies were meant to be ladies.

Julia was not a lady.

Julia was a tomboy.

Henrek was well aware of this and dreaded to see what she’d as he anxiously sat next to an empty seat near the head of the table, where the governor of Lolcons, Badlubrain Oldsman, a heavy set man with a large puffy beard, archetypical for the region.

“You know, I’m quite excited to meet this sister of yours! I hear she’s discovered a new tier 4 skill!” Badlubrain exclaimed cheerfully.

“O-oh yes, she has…” Henrek nodded, still looking towards the door.

“You know, I gotta admit I wasn’t expectin’ anythin’ this nice! Last time ol’ Henrek was here you gave ‘em a real talkin’ to!” Barney laughed. Henrek glared at Barney who quickly shut up, not knowing what faux pa he might’ve made.

Badlubrain narrowed his eyes.

“Hmpth, don't mistake my hospitality as kindness. Quite frankly if it wasn’t rude I’d have banished you from my realm already.” Badlubrain growled, snapping his fingers.

“Speaking of rudeness, it appears the strange woman has failed to arrive in a timely fashion. Let the dinner commence!” Badlubrain shouted, the rest of the table, filled with various local lords from Lolcons and surrounding regions, grabbed their flagons and lifted them up. Henrek followed in time while Barney stumbled along, Julia still nowhere to be found.

“Oh shoot, they’re starting without me.” Julia remarked as she heard the sounds of cheers coming from just down the hall. She picked up her dress and quickly ran towards the banquet door, finding it was locked.

“Huh?” Julia remarked as she tried to push and pull the door.

“Banquet’s locked ma’am.” A guard dutifully announced.

“Huh?! Why?” Julia asked incredulously.

“House rules ma’am. Tardiness is not permitted.” The guard explained.

“Can’t a lady do her hair! Sheesh… Whatever, I hated this dress anyway.” Julia sighed as she effortlessly slid through the small crack between the doors, shocking the guard as he was left with a sticky dress.

Henrek spat out his drink as the loud chattering of the Lolcons banquet was quieted as the blue intruder made her way in, quickly making herself somewhat modest by growing a small skirt around her legs, and indenting her body in a way that mimicked a layer of clothes.

“I’d make it longer but then I’d lose my cute pony tail.” Julia explained as she casually waved towards the stunned crowd, sitting down next to Henrek.

“Hmpth.” Badlubrain scoffed before motioning for the people to continue talking. Henrek glared at Julia.

“What?” Julia shrugged as the servants began bringing plate after plate of food to properly begin the banquet.

“I told you, you couldn’t be late…” Henrek sighed, a defeated gasp escaping his lips.

“Ah let the lass go! Ain’t a day gone by when my misses could get ready quick’n such!” Barney laughed, placing an arm around the despairing Henrek.

“Yeah! I’m just a girl!” Julia laughed as she did the same, the overly forward behaviour was frowned upon by High Society, causing the nobles to tut in their conversations.

“We’re supposed to be representing Dracons here to try and get that trade embargo lifted, remember?” Henrek hissed as he pushed the pair off of him.

“Well yeah, we also totally stomped like a thousand wyvern nests. They’re not gonna be a problem anytime soon I think.” Julia declared smugly.

“You know, I would quite like to hear it from the woman of the hour herself.” Balubrain said, his voice commanding Julia’s attention as he rested his head on the arm of his throne.

“Well there’s nothin’ to it really! Just gotta grab em by the wings then BAM! Slam them down! They don’t know what hits them!” Julia explained cheerfully, though she felt something nagging her as she began talking.

This was a former Dwarven fortress, despite being a country bumpkin Julia had heard many stories of Dwarves from her parents.

Dwarves were crafty tricksters, they hid secrets in everything they made and would be duplicitous to achieve their means. Of course some of this was fear mongering parents did to children, but some of it was true.

“... And then blamo! You crush the eggs before they get a chance to hatch and that’s the next-” Julia’s explanation was cut off by her chair suddenly collapsing from underneath her, Henrek and Barney all at once.

Julia quickly stretched a hand up to try and escape, but a guard was waiting for her and immediately sliced it off before it could grab anything.

The hand formed into a very small Threelia, which clambered onto the table, shocking the banquet hall as she sprinted out of the hall.

All the while, Julia, Barney and Henrek were dumped into a dungeon cell, where six more guards were waiting, weapons all aimed at Barney and Henrek’s necks.

“MAKE A MOVE AND THEY’RE BOTH DEAD!” The captain of the guard shouted, causing Julia to freeze in place.

“Urgh… great.” Henrek sighed as he recognized the men who now held them prisoner.

“What ‘n the hell is this?!” Barney shouted, moving an inch before having his shoulder sliced.

“I SAID DON’T MOVE!” The captain repeated, he wasn’t from Lolcons, he was the head of the guard from Burtcons.

Adamonze Oldser.

One of the Avoisan Fundamentalists which made up the nobility of Burtcons.

“Just stay calm, they’re not going to kill us, yet.” Henrek hissed, raising his arms. Julia said nothing but followed suit.

“So, Adamonze, to what do I owe the pleasure of our reunion?” Henrek asked as he identified the enemy.

“You know damn well why, we’re killing the false saviour.” Adamonze hissed, pointing at Julia.

“H-huh!? What did I do?!” Julia asked incredulously.

“Upon their arrival, the saviour changed before the eyes of man into a being blessed, to save the sinners from themselves. Barnicus 14:12.” Adamonze quoted.

“What?!” Julia reiterated, having no idea what Adamonze was on about.

She never went to church, though admittedly Dryholm didn’t have a proper church until recently either.

“You’re a false saviour! A blessed being isn’t one who shed’s their human form to become… to become this! You are rotting your very soul! As it states-” Adamonze was about to quote more bible verses at them, but was stopped by Balubrain making his way into the dungeon.

“Settle down there kid, I don’t want you to bore them to death.” Balubrain sighed, pushing the men aside so he could kneel in front of Henrek.

“So, where did that eastern hospitality go?” Henrek asked with a scoff.

“Doesn’t extend to traitorous heretics. You’d really think I’d be so willing to disregard your flagrant declaration of this man being king.” Balubrain explained sternly, looking at the rough and tumble Barney.

“Great, I was hoping you’d be more amenable to Logos…” Henrek sighed. Balubrain laughed.

“Oh no! I only tolerate it. I’m a devout Aviotican first and foremost. So this whole tier 4 slime nonsense is absolutely unacceptable, the peasants are calling her 2nd coming of the saviour, that damn Logos nonsense is still stuck in their heads.” Balubrain grumbled as he stood up.

“Uhm, sorry what?” Julia asked, confused about what they were talking about.

“Logos, the religion of Logic. What’s more logical, that the Avoisan Saviour they speak of should be worshipped, or a new saviour who seemingly fits the bill.” Henrek explained, dismayed he hadn’t been more cautious.

“Pft! You speak of heresy as well! I should cut you down where you stand!” Adamonze scolded, pointing his blade right at Henrek’s neck.

“I’d be careful with that thing. You know we’re supported by a blessed being, right?” Henrek explained calmly. Barney was keeping his mouth shut, wincing from the wound in his shoulder.

“I refuse to believe a Blessed Being would support this.” Adamonze hissed.

“Yeah well, surprises happen. Lemme guess, you’ve got to keep us alive until you can confirm if he’s blessed or not right?” Henrek asked sardonically, smirking.

“Quite right, you’re smarter than you let on.” Balubrain noted, snapping his fingers and freezing Julia with an ice spell.

“HEY!” Henrek shouted, instantly kicking the sword out of Adamonze’s hand, grabbing it and stabbing the guard that was pining Barney down.

A soldier managed to get a deep cut in his leg but Barney was too quick, able to weave through the men and hold the blade up to Balubrain’s neck.

“Unfreeze her or I cut off your head.” Henrek hissed as Barney quickly grabbed the blade from the downed soldier to defend himself.

“What are you doing! Kill him!” Adamonze screamed. Henrek gave Balubrain a moment but the nobleman was too slow.

Henrek chopped the man's head off and backed himself to the wall with Barney.

“HEY!” Twolia shouted from above, having recombined with Threelia and effortlessly beaten up the guards and nobility that stood in her way, was now stretching her arms down to pick the two men up.

“W-wait! What about Julia!” Henrek shouted as Twolia dragged them out of the pit.

“I’M JULIA! C’MON WE GOTTA RUN BEFORE ANOTHER WIZARD GETS HERE!” Twolia shouted.

“She’s right.” Barney winced, his right arm was numb.

“Damnit… DAMNIT FINE!” Henrek shouted, taking one last look at the frozen Julia. Or was that now Twolia.