Chapter 43: Penelope, The Nagger

“So what did you and the pope talk about?” Penelope asked casually as they journeyed back to Dryholm.

“Just what I told you about…” Utarou mumbled vaguely.

“But what specifically did you talk about?” Penelope pressed.

“I’ve been given some grace and they’re taking Greylia as a hostage! That’s it!” Utraou asserted.

“Hmm, yeah but how did the conversation go? What words did she say?” Penelope continued.

“I dunno! A lot of them!” Utarou sighed.

…

“I’m just wondering how you could forget such an important conversation yet remember every character in that… what did you call it?” Penelope asked, interrupting Utarou’s vivid explanation of one of his favorite stories as they sat around the fire.

“Visual novel?” Utarou asked, confused where Penelope was going.

“Yeah! Visual Novel, you can remember all of those characters and branching paths, yet you’ve completely forgotten your conversation with-”

“I’m going to bed. Good night.” Utarou sighed.

“I’ll get you to talk soon!” Penelope declared confidently sipping on her tea.

“Why are you so curious anyway?” Rufus asked in between sips of stew.

“No reason~” Penelope lied in her sweetest voice.

“Oh okay.” Rufus shrugged.

…

“So you walked in and then what?” Penelope asked as she and Utarou collected firewood from the abandoned village of Kolob.

“LOOK, if I told you exactly what happened you'd be in danger! Is that a good enough answer?” Utarou shouted, dropping the fire wood and angrily pointing at Penelope.

She immediately cracked into a wide smirk.

“Oh, not even close. Now I have to know.” Penelope grinned. Utarou face palmed.

“Well I’m not telling you!” Utarou grumbled, if he couldn’t keep this persistent girl from breaking down his defences how could he keep the conspiracy going?

…

“She wants me to make a new branch of the church around monster girls, and declare war on King Oldsman without letting anyone know. Also she demanded to keep Greylia!” Utarou groaned, having finally relented to telling Penelope once he returned to his tower and could have some confidence prying ears wouldn’t get to him.

Penelope was nothing if not determined.

“Oh, my, gosh… So that’s why Templar Adam is helping us with the Goblins?! He’s in on it?! Oh my gosh I gotta ask him all about-” Penelope began before shutting her mouth.

“Right, yeah, he’d smite everyone… DAMNIT! I WANNA TELL EVERYONE NOW! Why’d you give me this burden?” Penelope whined, stomping her feet on the ground.

“YOU ASKED! REPEATEDLY!” Utarou, jumping out of his seat to shake some sense into the woman.

“I… Was… Joking… Kinda…” Penelope said in between shakes.

Utarou stopped and let out a sigh.

“Look, you cannot tell anyone. I can’t tell anyone else either.” Utarou sighed, returning to his desk.

“Yeah obviously, but you need a way better lie. Don’t worry though, I’m quite interested in helping out, luckily for you~” Penelope smirked, standing proud. Utarou cocked his head in confusion.

“What? Can’t a lady be interested in a passionate perverts mission to reshape the world?” Penelope asked.

“I uh, yeah I guess. Sorry I’m not used to people being so eager to help.” Utarou admitted, scratching the back of his head.

“You’re making things more exciting for me.” Penelope shrugged.

“Well, let Hope and May know we’re back when you see them. I’m going to get some sleep.” Utarou sighed, making his way to the makeshift bedroom.

“Yes sir~! I’ll come up with a better lie next time a nosy girl comes asking.” Penelope laughed as she left the tower, the windy rain nearly blowing the door back as she left.

Utarou climbed the ladder into the floor that archers were supposed to perch in that Henrek had repurposed into a home away from home, which now Utarou had claimed for himself.

“She’s a persistent girl huh?” Adam remarked, appearing from seemingly nowhere as Utarou nearly fell off the ladder.

“Y-you! Oh god you heard it all? Damnit please… PLEASE DON’T PUT ME IN A DARK DUNGEON AGAIN! I LOVE FEELING MY FINGERS!” Utarou begged, immediately kowtowing to the man.

“Relax, you are a terrible liar, that minx is going to end up saving you from spilling to someone we’re actually worried about.” Adam laughed, sitting down on the ground next to the cowering Utarou.

“S-so you’re not smiting me?” Utarou asked with a sniff.

“Eh, not today.” Adam shrugged.

“How reassuring…” Utarou sighed as he sat up properly.

“I’m just here to make sure you understood the conditions of our little deal, which you evidently do.” Adam smiled, radiant a golden glow even in the room lit dimly by moonlight.

“Y-yeah, appreciate it, buddy.” Utarou gulped.

“Heh, well how about a theology lesson instead. The Avoisan Testament was written by the 16 disciples of the Saviour. They speak of the Saviour so reverently they refuse to even describe them in any clear terms. Hell, we can’t say whether the Saviour was a man, woman, human, elf, dwarf, or even a goblin!” Adam laughed.

“R-right, okay…”

“What I’m trying to say is, we don’t know much about the Saviour beyond what he taught and what he could do. And lemme tell you! He wasn’t very clear. The Elfviosan branch of the church, hooboy, they’ve got some real whacky ideas!” Adam explained casually walking over to the ladder.

“This feels like you’re trying to tell me something…” Utarou mumbled.

“Ah, this is why that girl is going to save you. Isn’t that right miss Penelope?” Adam asked, an audible squeak coming from Penelope who’d been listening in the entire time.

“I look forward to seeing what Theology you two come up with to justify these so-called monster girls!” Adam laughed as he climbed the ladder to the top of the tower, disappearing into the night.

“Woah, he’s so hot… I-I mean cool.” Penelope gasped as Utarou rubbed his temples.

“They couldn’t be any more subtle with their power plays huh? Whatever, I just need to use them while I build up my own resources… Right now Monsteria doesn’t have the military or Monster Girl power to rival that.” Utarou thought as he rolled into bed.

“Once I can meet with May and Hope tomorrow I should be able to properly assess how Dryholm’s been doing throughout winter… Henrek should be back soon as well, with good news I hope.” Utarou thought before falling into a peaceful sleep in his own bed.