Chapter 29: Is Getting Slammed Into the Dirt Part of the Plan?

Surprise! 🎉

Happy September, everyone! Welcome to the start of a brand new month!

I know, I know—this isn't our usual upload day, but I couldn't resist dropping an extra chapter to kick off the month right. Are you happy to see a surprise update? Let me know in the comments!

Now, no more waiting—let's jump straight into the story!

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Ethan stood amidst the smoldering remains of the Ogre army, staring at the shimmering greenery that survived the lightning strike.

“Seriously... this is one of the most beautiful forests I’ve seen in my entire life,” he murmured, his voice echoing inside the helmet. “Usually, when I go into an E-Rank gate, the scenery is limited to ‘sewers,’ ‘stinky swamps,’ or ‘caves that smell like a wet dog’s armpit.’ I’m actually starting to enjoy the fresh air. It’s a shame I’m currently wearing a suit of armor that probably smells like burnt electricity.”

He let out a long, dramatic sigh, the kind that suggested he was carrying the weight of the entire world's laziness on his shoulders. “The life of an E-Ranker. Always the bottom of the food chain. Always the one cleaning the slime off the walls.”

He flicked his wrist, calling up his current achievement tally in a spectral holographic window. He scanned the numbers and frowned.

“Only thirty-one? Thirty-one kills?” He groaned. “That’s it? I’ve had more naps in a single weekend than I’ve had kills today. This isn't even close to enough. If I want Mia to actually feel like she can rely on me—if I want her to have the best school equipment, the fanciest supplies, and maybe a desk that isn't held together by prayer and duct tape—I’m going to have to clear this whole C-Rank gate solo.”

Determined (for a guy who looked like he was about to fall over), Ethan leaped up onto a thick, fat tree branch to get a better view of the area. He leaned back, feeling quite proud of his newfound badassery.

Whirr-zip!

A sound, small and subtle, echoed around his ankle.

Ethan didn't even have time to process the noise. Before he could say "Wait, what?", a heavy rope loop snapped tight around his leg. With a violent, sudden yank, Ethan was ripped from the branch.

SPLAT!

He was slammed face-first into the dirt with the grace of a dropped watermelon.

“GUKH! WHAT THE—SON OF A BISCUIT!” Ethan shrieked, his voice muffled by the soil.

Before he could even attempt to wiggle free, a fat, muscle-bound Ogre—who had apparently been hiding in a hole like a giant, green mole—emerged with a triumphant grin. The Ogre grabbed the rope, rotated its massive body backward with a loud grunt, and hoisted Ethan up into the air like a piece of laundry. With a resounding THWACK, he slammed Ethan backward into the ground, back-first.

“Guhk...” Ethan wheezed, the air leaving his lungs in a sudden, violent rush. “I need to... I really need to...”

He didn't get to finish the sentence. The Ogre yanked the rope again, pulling him upward with terrifying strength. Ethan, acting on pure instinct, braced himself and crossed his arms in a defensive guard, preparing for the worst.

BOOM!!!

At that exact moment, a second Ogre—even larger than the first—delivered a colossal, heavy fist directly into Ethan’s guard. The force was so immense that the rope holding him snapped like a piece of wet string.

Ethan didn't just fly; he became a human missile. He blasted backward through the forest, snapping smaller trees and crashing through bushes with a series of loud, chaotic thuds before finally skidding across the ground for another ten meters.

Ethan lay there, staring up at the blue sky, his armor scuffed and his dignity completely evaporated. He didn't move for a long time.

“Well,” he croaked, his voice sounding like he’d swallowed a handful of gravel. “The good news is that I definitely got a durability upgrade. The bad news... is that my processing speed and awareness are still E-Rank at best. I can tank the hit, but I’m still too slow to notice the guy with the rope.”

Ethan lay in his dirt-trench for a moment, staring at the sky and wondering if it was too late to apply for a job as a professional sleeper. He slowly raised his head, glancing toward the distance.

About fifty yards away, the two Ogres were having a moment. The larger one—an absolute mountain of green lard—gave the rope-wielding Ogre a condescending tap on the chest with the back of its hand, as if to say, “Move aside, amateur. Let a real professional handle this.”

The big one then turned around and gripped a massive, ancient tree by the trunk.

HNNNNGGGGGGHHHH!!!

The sound of the Ogre’s grunt was like a tectonic plate shifting. With a violent, earth-shattering rip, the monster tore the entire tree—roots, dirt, and all—right out of the ground.

Ethan’s expression shifted from lazy boredom to absolute panic. His eyes bulged behind the visor, his jaw dropping so far he nearly swallowed his helmet.

Is this a joke?! Ethan screamed internally. Since when do mobs in C-Rank gates have the strength of a Final Boss?! This isn't a dungeon crawl anymore, this is a freaking disaster movie! I’m not a protagonist; I’m just a prop in a nature documentary about how to squash a human!

The Ogre let out a guttural roar and hurled the colossal tree. It flew through the air like a giant, wooden missile, blotting out the sun.

“SHIT!” Ethan yelled.

He scrambled on his legs, his boots slipping in the dirt for a split second before the Heavenly Demon stats kicked in. He didn't just run; he exploded forward in a desperate, frantic sprint. He narrowly escaped being hugged by the fat tree, the massive trunk whistling past his ear with a deafening roar.

K-BOOOOOOM!!!

The tree slammed into the earth exactly where Ethan had been lying a second ago, creating a crater so deep it probably hit a different zip code. A massive cloud of dust and splinters erupted, obscuring everything.

As the dust settled, Ethan stood at the edge of the crater, his chest heaving. He looked at the two Ogres, his voice dripping with a mixture of irritation and genuine fear.

“You really want to squash me that bad, huh?! What is this, some kind of fetish?!”

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Hey readers! Hope you enjoyed this chapter of this chaotic gate run!

Ethan literally went from admiring the scenery to getting yanked out of a tree like a sack of potatoes and having a whole-ass tree thrown at his face. The contrast between his inner panic and his durability upgrade is always so fun to write!

Expect the next chapter to drop around 6:00 PM or 7:00 PM as always! Mark your clocks, grab your snacks, and stay tuned to see how Ethan handles the rest of this dungeon mess.

Thank you all so much for reading, supporting, and leaving your comments! See you guys in the next update! 💥👋