Chapter 32: Certified, Legitimate, and Completely Insane

Sorry for posting Chapter 32 a little late! 😭 It was supposed to be up at 6 PM, but here we are at 7 PM instead. 😂 Thank you for waiting, and I hope you enjoy the chapter! ❤️

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High above the chaos, perched comfortably on a thick branch of an tall oak tree, Ethan sat with one leg dangling, watching the spectacle below. He had the best seat in the house, completely hidden by the foliage, his helmeted head tilted in curiosity.

“Well... damn,” Ethan muttered to himself, his voice echoing inside the armor. “That is one hot woman.”

He paused, suddenly remembering his dignity. He quickly shook his head, as if trying to physically throw the thought away.

“No, no. Let’s be clear,” he whispered urgently. “I am not interested just because she’s tall and busty. And I am definitely not interested because her chest was like a high-end memory foam mattress that smells like a fresh bouquet of spring flowers. Absolutely not. That’s not it at all.”

He crossed his arms, looking back down at Germaine, who was currently screaming about credits and blasting the forest with sand.

“It’s the shared passion,” Ethan concluded with a nod. “We’re cut from the same cloth. We both just really, really love money. It’s a professional respect, really.”

As he watched Germaine’s erratic fighting style, Ethan’s expression behind the visor was a chaotic mess. He didn't know whether to laugh at her incompetence, feel sad for the state of the Hunter Association, or literally fart from the sheer absurdity of the situation.

He looked at his own armored gauntlets. He was officially an E-Rank, the bottom of the barrel. But thanks to the Heavenly Demon’s armor, he could tank hits from these C-Rank monsters and punch them back into the stone age without breaking a sweat. He was a cheat code in a tin can.

Then he looked back at Germaine. Every time she swung her sword or lunged forward, her chest swayed and jiggled with a rhythmic intensity that was almost hypnotic. But the way she fought? It was a disaster.

“Is she for real?” Ethan wondered, putting a hand to his chin in deep thought. “She’s a C-Rank, but she fights like a toddler with a butter knife. She’s not just a beginner; she’s practically a liability. What is her problem? Did she buy her rank on eBay? Is this a prank show?”

Below him, the "battle" reached its clumsy climax. Germaine lunged forward, putting all her weight into a desperate, screaming slash aimed at the Ogre's head.

CLANG!

The blade glanced off the Ogre thick skull, barely leaving a scratch. Germaine stumbled, her momentum carrying her forward, and in a panic, she simply jammed the sword blindly into the Ogre's torso.

SQUELCH!

The blade buried itself deep into the monster's gut. The Ogre, already exhausted from the Sand Gale and its own confusion, let out one final, rattling groan before its massive eyes rolled back in its head. It collapsed forward with a thunderous THUMP, dead before it hit the dirt.

Germaine didn't stand victoriously over her prey. Instead, she collapsed right where she was, sitting flat on the ground with her legs splayed, her sword still stuck in the monster.

She stayed there for a moment, panting heavily, her chest heaving up and down. Then, a slow, manic grin spread across her face.

“Hahaha... HAHAHA!” she let out a loud, triumphant laugh of pure satisfaction. “YES! THE CREDITS! THEY’RE MINE!”

Germaine was still sitting in the dirt, her laughter echoing through the clearing. She looked like she had just won the lottery, despite being covered in dirt and monster blood.

"I did it!" she cheered, hugging her knees. "I actually killed an Ogre alone! With these credits, I can afford... oh man, I can practically buy another whole week's worth of premium cup ramen! I'm moving up in the world!"

Suddenly, the air above her shifted. A dark shadow eclipsed the sun, and a heavy weight descended from the canopy with the force of a falling comet.

BOOOOM!!!

Ethan slammed into the ground directly in front of her in a perfect, textbook super-hero landing. One knee down, one hand pressed into the earth, a massive cloud of dust billowing around him. For a split second, he looked legendary. The aura emanating from the Heavenly Demon’s armor was suffocating, thick with a dark, oppressive power that made the very grass wither. He looked like a god of war descended from the heavens.

Then...

Pfft.

A short, sharp, and incredibly poorly timed fart echoed through the silence of the crater.

Ethan froze. The epic aura vanished instantly. He stayed in the landing pose for three seconds too long before slowly standing up, his voice sounding defeated inside the helmet.

"Oh my god..." he whispered. "Why now? Why right now?"

Germaine, who had been momentarily awestruck by the entrance, snapped back to reality. She looked up at the tin can with an expression of pure annoyance.

"You again!" she yelled, her voice cracking from exhaustion. "What do you want now?! If you're looking for a payment, look elsewhere! I'm not the one who owes you! That Ogre just happened to be coming in my direction, so I had nothing to do but slash it! It was a professional obligation!"

Ethan stood up fully, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned in slightly, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"And that was a lucky strike as well, am I right?" Ethan countered. "The Ogre just happened to walk toward you? Please. Let me guess: the Ogre was actually walking toward me, but you just happened to be standing in the way, so you had nothing to do but slash it?"

He stepped closer, his tone becoming more teasing. "Or maybe... you were just waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in and deliver the finishing blow yourself while someone else did all the hard work of damaging it? A classic kill-steal strategy. Very professional."

Germaine’s face twisted into a frown, but as she looked away, a faint, betraying shade of red bloomed across her cheeks. She looked genuinely flustered. "I don't know what you're talking about!" she huffed.

Ethan tilted his head. "Are you faking your rank?" he asked, his voice dropping to a serious whisper. "You know that if the Guild catches a fake Ranker in a gate, they don't just ban you—they throw the book at you. You could be blacklisted for life."

Just like me, Ethan thought with a small, internal smirk. An E-Ranker sneaking into a C-Rank gate. Heh. But I have a noble excuse; I need these credits to pay for Mia’s tuition so she doesn't have to sell her soul to the school board.

Germaine snapped. She stood up abruptly, her pride wounded.

"Hah! No! I am NOT faking!" she shrieked, reaching into her gear and whipping out a laminated card with a violent flick of her wrist. She shoved the Hunters Guild ID practically into the visor of Ethan's helmet. "Look for yourself! I am a certified, legitimate C-Rank hunter, you overgrown toaster!"