Chapter 121 – I Can’t Do It

Noxx stared at the queen.

She had said Matt was weak so calmly that, for a moment, Noxx didn't know how to respond.

Then she looked down at the books, remembered the scythe Elyra had pulled out when she'd refused to hug her, and clenched her fists again.

"Why do you solve everything with violence...?"

The queen let out a small laugh.

"My daughter... violence is one of the ways the strong impose their will and establish order."

"And why should the weak have to go along with it?"

Elyra watched her for a few seconds before laughing again. Noxx frowned, annoyed by the reaction, but the queen simply settled into her chair.

"Noxx, if someone strong doesn't establish order and give orders, someone else will... or she'll be the one giving him orders."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Do you want to know?"

◇◆◇

Matt needed to get to whoever was in charge of the operation.

That was the plan.

Get far enough into the enemy base to find the person responsible, talk to him, and work out some kind of deal. He couldn't keep interrogating soldiers who barely knew why they were there, nor could he let them keep sending planes to the kingdom without understanding what was going on.

Still hidden in his bat form, Matt remained motionless between the folds of Diana's jacket.

In the best-case scenario, he'd get them to listen.

In the worst...

'I'll have to kill them all.'

The thought brought him no relief.

They were humans.

Humans from his own world, at that.

Even though he was trapped in that body now, they were still people of the same species he'd belonged to for almost his entire life.

And if he ended up killing a group of soldiers sent from Earth, what would happen when he tried to go back?

What would happen to his family if someone found out who he was?

Matt tried to set those questions aside for a moment.

First, he needed to prepare.

He didn't know what other mages he might find, what they could do, or how much time he'd have to react if the conversation went wrong.

So he decided to step into his mental world for a few moments.

He'd let Aurora know, practice with her for a bit, and return before the situation outside required his attention.

However, the moment he appeared, a voice greeted him with a shout.

"Happy birthday, Father!"

Matt stopped.

The girl with pigtails stood in front of him, holding a fairly large cake in both hands.

She had a white smear on one cheek, bits of something stuck to one sleeve, and slightly messy hair, as though making the cake had involved a fight.

Behind her was a table with several utensils.

And beside the table...

Aurora.

Matt looked at his ego-weapon, then at the cake, and finally at the girl who was still smiling at him.

'You've got to be kidding me...'

He had come in to prepare in case he had to face a base full of soldiers and mages, and they were getting ready for a birthday party.

The girl stepped toward him, lifting the cake a little so he could get a better look.

The frosting was uneven in places, and one side seemed to have sunk slightly, though that did nothing to dampen the enthusiasm of the girl holding it.

Matt closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"I don't think today's my birthday."

"I know!"

The answer came so quickly that he opened his eyes again.

"Then..."

"Wait."

She turned carefully, walked over to the table, and set the cake down in a clear spot. Then she came back and hugged him before Matt could finish speaking.

"I want to celebrate the fact that we met today."

Matt looked down at her.

"What?"

"It's our first day together." The girl looked up at him, smiling. "Ever since I got this body, I've wanted to do something with you so I'd always remember this day."

Her arms tightened a little around him.

"And then we can celebrate it every year, just like humans do. Though I want to celebrate your real birthday too, Dad. So you have to tell me when it is."

Matt stood motionless.

The cake was still there, on the table.

Matt saw it over the girl's head and felt irritation rising in his chest.

It reminded him of home.

Of the normal things he should have been doing with his family instead of hiding in a mage's clothes, thinking about how many people he would have to kill if they discovered him.

And the girl was still hugging him.

Still talking about celebrating together.

Still calling him Dad after he'd already told her not to so many times.

'Can't you read the damn room for once...?'

Matt let out a long sigh.

"Let go of me," he said flatly.

She tilted her head up a little more.

"You didn't like it?"

"I said let go."

Matt took hold of her arms and moved her away. She let him, though she kept her hands close to him, as if she still didn't understand why he'd interrupted the hug.

"I have things to do," Matt said. "I came in because I need to talk to Aurora."

"She helped with the cake too!"

"I can see that."

"Then we can have some and afterward..."

"And stop calling me Father!"

The girl fell silent.

Matt realized his voice had come out louder than he'd intended, but that did nothing to ease his irritation.

"I've told you over and over. What part don't you understand?"

She looked at him for a few seconds. Then she let out a small laugh.

"That attitude of yours is cute, Father."

Matt's patience finally snapped.

He wasn't joking.

He hadn't come here to play with her or have a good time.

Outside, there were people who could discover him at any moment, and he was trying to prepare for a situation that could ruin what little chance he had left of returning to his family.

His family.

Not this girl who had decided to call him Father just because she felt like it.

"Call me that again, and I'll kill you."

Her smile faded a little, more out of confusion than fear.

Matt gritted his teeth.

"I'm serious. You're being insufferable."

She tilted her head slightly.

"But..."

"Aurora."

His ego-weapon, who had remained beside the table, looked up at him.

He didn't need to repeat the order.

Her body shone with golden light before disappearing, and a moment later, Matt felt the familiar weight of the bow-spear in his hands.

The girl with pigtails looked down at the weapon.

Matt raised it, drew the string back, and a golden arrow began forming between his fingers.

"Listen carefully."

He aimed it at her.

"If you call me Father one more goddamn time, I'm going to keep killing you until you stop coming back."

The girl looked at the arrowhead. Then back at him.

For a few seconds, she seemed unsure what to make of the threat. Her eyes moved from the weapon to Matt's face, but in the end, her lips curved up again.

"I'll gladly accept Father's punishment."

Matt released the string.

The arrow flew past her neck.

So close that the golden light lit up one side of her face before disappearing behind her.

A moment later, an explosion shook the far end of that space.

Light spread across the ground, sweeping away everything in its path as a gust sent the girl's pigtails fluttering.

She didn't move.

She hadn't even tried to move her head out of the way.

Matt kept the bow raised.

He had missed on purpose.

Right before firing, he had remembered his hands around Noxx's neck.

He remembered the rage he'd felt then and what had come afterward, when he'd had time to think about what he'd done.

He didn't want to act again without taking one damn second to think.

But that girl seemed determined to drive him insane.

That was why he'd sent the shot wide.

A warning.

A chance for her to understand he wasn't playing around.

And yet...

"Why didn't you move?"

The girl glanced over her shoulder, took in what was left behind her, then turned her attention back to him.

Her expression wasn't what Matt had expected.

She didn't back away.

She didn't look for cover.

She didn't raise her hands to defend herself.

Maybe she still hadn't understood how close the arrow had come.

Or maybe now she'd finally be on her guard.

"I won't miss the next one."

She listened in silence.

"And I won't stop. If you reappear, I'll kill you again. Over and over."

For the first time, the surprise on the girl's face became more apparent.

Matt waited.

He waited for a protest, an insult, or even for her to try to attack him. Anything to show that she was finally taking what he said seriously.

Instead, she lowered her gaze a little.

"Oh..."

Then she gave a small laugh.

"Then I guess this will be the last time we see each other."

Matt frowned.

"What?"

"I don't want to stop calling you Father."

The bowstring drew taut again.

Another arrow appeared between his fingers, and this time, the light grew until it illuminated the space between them.

Matt kept his eyes on her as he gathered energy, watching for the slightest movement.

Now.

She had to react now.

She could see the bow.

She could feel the power he was gathering.

She knew he'd just threatened her.

Matt released the string.

The arrow shot toward her abdomen.

She didn't move.

She didn't raise a barrier.

She didn't try to dodge.

Matt reduced the force of the attack before impact, and the golden tip hit her belly with a dull thud.

The arrow bounced off and dissolved into tiny particles of light before reaching the ground.

The girl lowered her head to look at the spot where it had touched her.

Then she looked back at him.

Matt still had one hand extended beside the bowstring.

He had wanted to make sure.

He'd expected her to defend herself, like Noxx when they first started training. To back away or try to counterattack, the way Iris would have.

Something.

But no.

She hadn't even put her hands in front of her body.

"Why did you say that?"

The girl blinked.

"Say what?"

"That this would be the last time we saw each other."

She looked at him with such confusion that Matt tightened his grip on the weapon even more.

"Because you said you wanted me to disappear."

"I told you..."

"If you want your attack to kill me, shouldn't I do what you say and not come back?"

Matt fell silent.

For a moment, it seemed as though the noise of the earlier explosion had swept away every other sound as well.

He looked at her.

He searched for a mocking smile, some expression that would tell him this was just another way of provoking him.

But she was simply waiting for an answer.

He didn't know whether she meant it, but he did know she hadn't tried to defend herself.

She had seen both arrows coming and hadn't moved.

"Aren't you afraid of dying?"

It took the girl a few seconds to answer.

She brought her hands together in front of her, her fingers still smeared from making the cake.

"I'm more afraid of being a burden to Dad."

"Matt!"

She flinched a little.

"My name is Matt! Call me Matt!"

The girl opened her mouth but said nothing at first. She looked at his face, then at the bow he was still holding, and finally shook her head slowly.

"I can't."

Matt let out a short laugh.

A laugh with no humor in it.

"You can't?"

She shook her head again.

"Why?"

"Because I really like calling you Dad."

Matt ran his tongue over his teeth.

The same word.

Always the same damn word.

She could accept him shooting her, could stand still while he threatened to kill her over and over, but she couldn't do the one thing he was asking of her.

"I'm not asking what you like."

"I know."

"Then do what I say."

She lowered her eyes a little.

She didn't answer.

Matt looked at the bow-spear, then at the girl. The anger was still there, but he was finding it harder and harder to figure out what to do with it.

If he aimed at her again, she'd stand still.

If he fired again, she wouldn't raise her hands.

And he already knew that.

"Defend yourself."

The girl looked up.

"What?"

"I said defend yourself. Fight back. Do something."

"Why?"

The question came so naturally that Matt felt like shouting again.

And he did.

"Because if I'm going to kill you, I want you to defend yourself!"

She stared at him.

Matt expected her to argue.

To tell him he was an idiot, that he had no right to order her around, or to try to take Aurora out of his hands.

He wanted her to do something he could respond to, something he could fight against.

But the girl slowly shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do what you're asking."

Matt stared at her.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt my father."

Matt's fingers loosened a little on the bowstring.

The table was still behind her.

The cake sat right where she'd left it, with its uneven frosting and her fingerprints along one edge.

The girl was still waiting in front of him, dirty, disheveled, and making no attempt to protect herself from the weapon.

Matt lowered his gaze.

When he spoke again, it was barely a whisper.

"I hate you... Every single one of you."